Ngaba wena neqabane lakho anikwazi ukulungisa iingxaki zenu ngaphandle kokuxabana? Ngaba uvakalelwa ngathi uhamba kwindawo ethiyiselweyo yaye ufanele uchul’ ukunyathela ngoba izinto ozenzayo nozithethayo zinokubangela uqhushululu?

Ukuba kunjalo, qiniseka ukuba izinto zinako ukuphucuka. Kodwa ke, kufuneka uqale uqonde eyona nto inixabanisayo.

Ukungaqondani kakuhle.

UJillian * uthi: “Ngamanye amaxesha ndiye ndithethe into kumyeni wam kodwa ivakale ilumeza kuye, okanye ndiqiniseke ukuba ndimxelele into ethile, kanti kuhleliwe nje bendiphupha. Yakha yenzeka nyhani loo nto!”

Ukwahluka.

Enoba nibonakala nithandana kangakanani, izimvo zenu ziya kwahluka kwimibandela ethile. Ngoba? Kaloku abakho abantu ababini abafana ncakasana—nto leyo enokubangela umtshato wenu ubangele umdla nangakumbi okanye inixabanise. Kubantu abaninzi abatshatileyo, umphumo udla ngokuba kukuxabana.

Abazali abangengomzekelo.

URachel uthi: “Abazali bam babesoloko bexambulisana yaye ingulowo wayesuka athethe nje loo nto ifike kuqala, ngoko emva kokuba nditshatile ndandidla ngokumhl’ entloko umyeni wam kanye njengoko nomama wayesenza kutata. Ndandingazange ndifundiswe ukuba nembeko.”

Eyona ngxaki.

Amaxesha amaninzi, impikiswano eshushu idla ngokungabangelwa yiloo nto nixabana ngayo ngaloo mzuzu. Ngokomzekelo, impikiswano eqala ngokuthi “Unemizanga!” isenokungabi ngumba wexesha, kunoko isenokubangelwa kukuba elinye iqabane livakalelwa kukuba alicingelwa.

Enoba siyintoni na isizathu, ukusoloko nixambulisana kunokunenza nigule yaye kunokukhokelela kuqhawulo-mtshato. Ngoko ke, yintoni enokuninceda niyeke ukuxambulisana?

Eyona nto kufuneka niyenze ukuze nithintele iimpikiswano kukuchonga ezona zinto ziphembelela iingxabano. Emva kokuba nehlise umoya, khanizame eli cebiso lilandelayo.

1. Ngamnye makathathe iphepha aze abhale phantsi into enisandul’ ukuxambulisana ngayo. Ngokomzekelo, umyeni unokubhala athi, “Uchithe usuku lonke nabahlobo bakho, awandifownela undazise ukuba uphi.” Umfazi yena unokubhala athi, “Uye wacaphuka kuba ndichithe ixesha nabahlobo bam.”

2. Thethani ngezi zinto zilandelayo ngokukhululekileyo: Ngaba nyhani benifanele nixambulisane ngale nto? Ngaba beningenakuyibetha ngoyaba? Ngamanye amaxesha kusenokuba kuhle ukuvumelana ukuba nineembono ezahlukeneyo yaye uthando lufanele lunenze niyeke ukuxabana ngaloo mbandela.—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: IMizekeliso 17:9.

Ukuba nigqiba kwelokuba lo mbandela ubungenamsebenzi, celani uxolo omnye komnye nize ningaphindi nithethe ngawo.—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: Kolose 3:13, 14.

Ukuba ubonakala ubalulekile komnye wenu okanye kuni nobabini, dlulelani kwinyathelo elilandelayo.

3. Bhala phantsi indlela obuvakalelwa ngayo ngoxa benixambulisana, uze ucele neqabane lakho lenze okufanayo. Ngokomzekelo, umyeni usenokubhala athi, “Ndicinga ukuba ukhetha ukuhlala nabahlobo bakho kunokuhlala nam.” Umfazi unokubhala athi, “Bendivakalelwa kukuba undiphatha njengomntwana ekufuneka ngalo lonke ixesha achazele uyise ukuba uphi.”

4. Ngamnye makafunde oko kubhalwe liqabane lakhe. Yintoni eyona nto ibixhalabisa iqabane lakho ngoxa benixambulisana? Thethani ngoko iqabane ngalinye ebelifanele ukuba likwenze ngokwahlukileyo ukuze nilungise ingxaki ngaphandle kokuxambulisana.—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: IMizekeliso 29:11.

5. Xubushani ngoko niye nakufunda kweli cebiso. Ninokulisebenzisa njani eli cebiso ukuze nisombulule okanye nithintele ukuxambulisana kwixesha elizayo?