Imitshato yesibini idla ngokuba neengxaki xa kufikwa kwindlela ekuphathwana ngayo nabo bomtshato wokuqala. * Abazali abaninzi kufuneka bazame ukuthetha nabazali babantwana bamaqabane abo ngokuphathelele imiba efana nokutyelela abantwana, ukubaqeqesha nokubaxhasa ngemali. Kusenokuba nzima nakubahlobo nezalamane ukude ziyamkele indoda okanye umfazi oye watshatwa emva kokuba uphelile umtshato wokuqala. Makhe sive ukuba icebiso leBhayibhile linokuzinceda njani iintsapho ukuze zimelane nezi ngxaki.

UJudith waseNamibhiya uthi: “Umama wabantwana bomyeni wam wakha wabaxelela ukuba mna ndingumfazi nje omtsha katata wabo, yaye ukuba ndikhe  ndazala abantwana ze bazi ukuba bona abazalani nabo. Loo mazwi andixhela kakhulu kuba ndibathanda ngathi ngabam abantwana bakhe.”

Iingcali ziyavuma ukuba indlela abaphathana ngayo abazali bomtshato wokuqala nowesibini inokuba yingxaki ize iyixabanise intsapho. Ingxaki enkulu idla ngokuba phakathi koomama. Yintoni enokunceda?

Icebiso: Mvumele adlale eyakhe indima umama okanye utata wabantwana bakho. Ukuba akumvumeli asondele kwaukusondela kubantwana bakho, abantwana basenokukhula beneengxaki ezingokweemvakalelo. * Utata okanye umama ‘owazala umntwana’ unendima ebalulekileyo kubomi bomntwana. (IMizekeliso 23:22, 25) Noko ke, ukuba uvumela umama okanye utata wabantwana angene aye kuma entla emzini wakho, unokulicaphukisa iqabane lakho elitsha. Misela imida ecacileyo ukuze ukhusele umtshato wakho ngoxa umnika indawo yakhe umama okanye utata wabantwana bakho.

AMACEBISO ANOKUNCEDA ABAZALI

• Xa uncokola nomntu owawukade utshate naye, thethani kuphela ngabantwana uze ukuphephe ukuncokola ngeminye imibandela. Ngokomzekelo, unokumcela ukuba afowune kuphela ngexesha elithile emini. Kudla ngokuba bhetele ukwenjenjalo kunokuba afowune nanini na ethanda okanye ebusuku.

• Ukuba inkundla ayilinikanga wena ilungelo lokugcina abantwana, unokufowuna, uthumele iisms okanye ii-e-mail. (Duteronomi 6:6, 7) Abanye bade basebenzise neenkqubo ze-Intanethi ezikwenza umbone loo mntu umfowunelayo. Unokukwazi ukuziqonda iingxaki abajamelene nazo abantwana bakho uze ubacebise kangangoko kunokwenzeka.

AMACEBISO ANOKUNCEDA OOMAMA ABAKUMTSHATO WESIBINI

• Yiba ‘novelwano’ kumama wabantwana uze ukwenze kucace ukuba akuzami kuthatha indawo yakhe. (1 Petros 3:8) Mazise rhoqo ngezinto ezenzeka ebantwaneni bakhe xa bekunye nawe, uze uqiniseke ukuba uthetha kakhulu ngezo zintle. (IMizekeliso 16:24) Mcele akucebise ngezinto ezithile uze umbulele ngamacebiso akhe.

• Musa ukuba nobubele kakhulu kwaba bantwana xa ekho umama wabo. UBeverly waseMerika uthi: “Abantwana bomyeni wam babefuna ukuthi Mama xa bendibiza. Ndabavumela ukuba bandibize Mama xa sisedwa kodwa hayi phambi komama wabo uJane okanye xa kukho amanye amalungu entsapho yakhe. Mna noJane satsho savana emva koko. Eneneni, kamva sada sasebenza kunye ukuze sincedisane nabantwana kwizinto zesikolo.”

AMACEBISO OKUNCEDA ABAZALI BASEBENZISANE

• Ungaze uthethe kakubi ngomzali womntwana okanye iqabane likatata okanye umama wakhe, ngoxa esiva umntwana. Kulula ukuzibhaqa sele umgxibha, kodwa loo nto iyabenzakalisa abantwana. Ulumke ngoba awazi ukuba loo mntwana uya kuwaphinda nini okanye kubani loo mazwi. (INtshumayeli 10:20) Ukuba umntwana ukuxelela ukuba omnye umzali uye wakuhleba, zama ukuqonda indlela avakalelwa  ngayo umntwana. Usenokuthi xa umphendula: “Ndibuhlungu kuba uye weva loo nto. Kodwa ke umam’ akho ebenomsindo yaye abantu abanomsindo badla ngokuthetha izinto ezimbi.”

• Zamani ukumqeqesha ngendlela efanayo umntwana. Ukuba anikwazi ukwenza oku, mchazeleni umahluko okhoyo phakathi kwezi ntsapho zimbini ngaphandle kokugxeka indlela ezenziwa ngayo izinto ngomnye umzali. Nanku umzekelo:

  Umama wesibini: Luvuyo, uboyoneka phandle itawuli yakho xa ugqiba kuhlamba.

  Luvuyo: Xa ndikumama ndidla ngokuyishiya phantsi aze ayithathe ayoneke.

  Umama wesibini: (enomsindo): Loo mama wakho ukufundisa ukuba livila.

  Ngaba bekungayi kuba bhetele ukuthi?

  Umama wesibini (ezolile): Nyhani? Kodwa ke apha wonke umntu uyoneka ngokwakhe itawuli yakhe.

• Kulumkele ukuthuma abantwana okanye ukubaxakekisa xa kufuneka bechithe ixesha nomnye umzali. (Mateyu 7:12) Ukuba loo nto beniyicebile anikwazi kuyenza ngelinye ixesha, cela imvume yomnye umzali ngaphambi kokuba uxelele abantwana oko uceba ukuba nikwenze.

Incwadi ethi Step Wars ithi enye inkosikazi yayikhalaza isithi umyeni wayo usoloko ethethelela abantwana bakhe yaye akafuni kuvuma ukuba abayiphathi ngembeko. Yathi: “Kuthi mandife ngumsindo.” Unokwenza ntoni ukuze abantwana bakho bangawumoshi umtshato wakho?

Icebiso: Yiba nolwazelelelo. IBhayibhile ithi: “Ngamnye makafune, kungekhona ingenelo yakhe, kodwa eyomnye umntu.” (1 Korinte 10:24) Zama ukuqonda indlela abavakalelwa ngayo bonke abo babandakanyekileyo. Abantwana basenokuba bacinga ukuba umzali akazukubathanda. Okanye basenokucinga ukuba xa bemthanda lo mzali mtsha, kuza kuba ngathi bamlahlile oyena mama okanye utata wabo. Kwelinye icala, abazali basenokuba madolw’ anzima ukungxolisa abantwana, kuba becinga ukuba baza kusuka babashiye.

Kunokuba uzame ukunyanzela abantwana ukuba bakuthande, yiba nomonde uze uvumele ubuhlobo benu buye bufudumala njengoko ixesha lihamba. Asibobulumko ukuzama ukunyanzela umntu ukuba akuthande. (INgoma yazo iiNgoma 8:4) Ngoko ke, musa ukucinga ukuba baza kukuthanda nje zisuka.

Musa ukubaxelela iindaba zabo, naxa ucinga ukuba bakuphatha kakubi. (IMizekeliso 29:11) Xa kunzima ukulawula ulwimi lwakho, thandaza njengoKumkani uDavide wakwaSirayeli, owathi: “Wubekele umlindi, Yehova, umlomo wam; wubekele umlindi umnyango wemilebe yam.”—INdumiso 141:3.

Ukuba nigqiba kwelokuba nihlale kwindlu abakhulela  kuyo abantwana, uya kufumanisa ukuba ibenza bakhumbule umtshato wokuqala. Ngoko zama ukungatshintshi izinto ezininzi, ingakumbi kumagumbi abo. Kusenokuba bhetele ukufudukela kwenye indlu.

UMarion waseKhanada uthi: “Abazali bam babedla ngokuthengela unyana wam izinto baze bangabathengeli abantwana bomyeni wam. Mna nomyeni wam sasiye sizame ukubathengela ngeyethu imali, kodwa ke ngamanye amaxesha sasingabi nayo imali yokwenjenjalo.”

Icebiso: Yibeke kwindawo yokuqala intsapho yakho entsha. Xelela izalamane nabahlobo bakho ukuba uzimisele ukuyenza iphumelele intsapho yakho entsha. (1 Timoti 5:8) Nangona ungenakulindela ukuba izalamane nabahlobo bakho bayithande zisuka nje intsapho yakho entsha, unako ukubacela ukuba bayiphathe ngembeko. Bachazele indlela abaya kukhathazeka ngayo abantwana xa bengahoywanga.

Bavumele abazali beqabane lakho langaphambili ukuba bachithe ixesha kunye nabazukulwana babo. USusan waseNgilani uthi: “Ndaphinda ndatshata kwiinyanga nje ezili-18 emva kokufa komyeni wam, ibe kwaba nzima ngabazali bakhe ukumamkela umyeni wam omtsha. Izinto zaba bhetele xa saqalisa ukusebenzisana nabo, savumela abantwana babafowunela saza sababulela ngenkxaso yabo.”

Indlela ophilisana ngayo nezalamane okanye abahlobo inokuba negalelo kulonwabo lomtshato wakho wesibini. Sebenzisa icebiso leBhayibhile yaye intsapho yakho inokufumana intsikelelo ethenjiswa yiBhayibhile: “Indlu iya kwakhiwa ngobulumko, imiselwe ngokuqinileyo ngokuqonda.”—IMizekeliso 24:3.