Kupepesa​—Njila Yothandiza Yopezela Mtendele

“MAWU opepesa n’ngamphamvu kwambili. Amathetsa mikangano popanda kucita ciwawa, amathetsa magawano pakati pa mayiko, amathandiza maboma kuvomeleza kuti nzika zawo zikuvutika, ndiponso amagwilizanitsanso anthu.” Analemba motelo Deborah Tannen, wolemba mabuku wochuka kwambili ndiponso katswili wa zacinenelo na cikhalidwe ca anthu pa yunivesite ya Georgetown ku Washington, D.C.

Baibo imavomeleza kuti nthawi zambili kupepesa kocokela pansi pa mtima kumathandiza kukhazikitsanso ubale umene wasokonezeka. Mwacitsanzo, m’fanizo la Yesu la mwana woloŵelela, mwanayo atabwelela kunyumba na kupepesa mocokela pansi pa mtima, atate wake anam’lola mosavuta kuti abwelele m’nyumba mwawo. (Luka 15:17-24) Inde, kunyada kusamalepheletse munthu kusiya kunyadako, n’kupepesa, na kupempha kuti akhululukidwe. N’zoona kuti anthu odzicepetsa savutika kwenikweni kuti apepese.

Mphamvu ya Kupepesa

Abigayeli, mkazi wanzelu wa mu Israyeli wakale, anacita zinthu zomwe ni citsanzo cosonyeza mphamvu ya kupepesa, ngakhale kuti anapepesa cifukwa ca zolakwa za mwamuna wake. Pamene anali kukhala m’cipululu, Davide, yemwe pambuyo pake anadzakhala mfumu ya Israyeli, pamodzi na anyamata ake anateteza nkhosa za Nabala, mwamuna wa Abigayeli. Ngakhale kuti anacita zimenezo, anyamata a Davide atapempha mkate na madzi, Nabala anawanyoza, na kuwabweza cimanja-manja. Atapsa mtima, Davide anatsogolela amuna 400 kupita kukathana na Nabala pamodzi na banja lake. Atamva zimene mwamuna wake anacita, Abigayeli ananyamuka kukakumana na Davide. Mkaziyu ataona Davide, iye anagwada pa mapazi ake. Ndiyeno anati: “Pa ine, mbuye wanga, pa ine pakhale ucimowo; ndipo mulole mdzakazi wanu alankhule m’makutu anu, nimumvele mawu a mdzakazi wanu.” Kenako Abigayeli anafotokoza mmene zinthu zinalili ndipo anapatsa Davide mphatso ya zakudya na zakumwa. Zitatelo, Davide anati: “Ukwele kwanu mumtendele; ona, ndamvela mawu ako, ndavomeleza nkhope yako.”—1 Samueli 25:2-35.

Kudzicepetsa kwa Abigayeli ndiponso kupepesa kwake cifukwa ca khalidwe loipa la mwamuna wake zinapulumutsa banja lake. Ndipo Davide anam’thokoza cifukwa com’pulumutsa kuti asakhetse mwazi. Ngakhale kuti si Abigayeli amene anacitila Davide na anyamata ake zinthu zoipa, iye anavomela kuti banja lake lalakwa ndipo anakhazikitsa mtendele na Davide.

Citsanzo ca munthu wina amene anadziŵa nthawi yofunika kupepesa ndiye mtumwi Paulo. Panthawi ina yake, iye anafunika kukadziteteza pamaso pa bwalo lalikulu la milandu la Ayuda la Sanihedirini. Atapsa mtima na mawu acilungamo a Paulo, Hananiya, mkulu wa ansembe analamula anthu oimilila pafupi na Paulo kuti am’menye pakamwa. Atanena zimenezi, Paulo anamuuza kuti: “Mulungu adzakupanda iwe, khoma loyeletsedwa iwe; ndipo kodi ukhala iwe wakundiweluza mlandu monga mwa cilamulo, ndipo ulamulila andipande ine posanga cilamulo?” Anthu omvelela mlanduwo atadzudzula Paulo cifukwa conyoza mkulu wa ansembeyo, mtumwiyo anavomela mwamsanga kuti walakwa. Anati: “Sindinadziŵa, abale, kuti ndiye mkulu wa ansembe; pakuti kwalembedwa, Usamnenela coipa mkulu wa anthu ako.”—Machitidwe 23:1-5.

Zimene Paulo anali atanena, kuti munthu amene waikidwa kukhala woweluza sayenela kucita zaciwawa, zinali zoona. Komabe, anapepesa cifukwa cakuti mosadziŵa analankhula mokhala ngati monyoza kwa mkulu wa ansembe. a Kupepesa kwa Paulo kunapangitsa kuti Sanihedirini imvetsele mawu ake. Cifukwa coti Paulo anali kdziŵa za mkangano womwe unalipo pakati pa mamembala a bwalolo, iye anawauza kuti akuimbidwa mlandu cifukwa cokhulupilila kuti akufa adzauka. Zimenezi zinautsa magawano aakulu, moti Afarisi anakhala ku mbali ya Paulo.—Machitidwe 23:6-10.

Kodi tingaphunzilenji m’zitsanzo ziŵili za m’Baibozi? M’nkhani zonsezi, mawu a pansi pamtima osonyeza kudzimvela cisoni anathandiza kuti pakhale kulankhulana. Motelo mawu opepesa angatithandize kukhazikitsa mtendele. Inde, kuvomeleza zolakwa zathu ndiponso kupepesa cifukwa ca zimene zawonongeka zingatsegule mwayi wokambilana zinthu zothandiza kwambili.

‘Komatu Palibe Comwe Nalakwa’

Tikaona kuti wina wakhumudwa na zimene tanena kapena kucita, mwina tingaganize kuti munthuyo akungokulitsa nkhani kapena ni wa mtima wapacala. Komatu Yesu Kristu analangiza ophunzila ake kuti: “Cifukwa cake ngati ulikupeleka mtulo wako pa guwa la nsembe, ndipo pomwepo ukakumbukila kuti mbale wako ali ndi kanthu pa iwe, usiye pomwepo mtulo wako kuguwako, nucoke, nuyambe kuyanjana ndi mbale wako, ndipo pamenepo idza nupeleke mtulo wako.”—Mateyu 5:23, 24.

Mwacitsanzo, mbale angaganize kuti mwamulakwila. Zikatelo, Yesu ananena kuti inuyo mupite na ‘kuyanjana na mbale wanu,’ kaya mukuona kuti mwamulakwila kapena ayi. Malinga ni nkhaniyo m’Cigiriki, mawu omwe Yesu anagwilitsa nchito m’vesili amatanthauza ‘kugwilizana pambuyo poti nonse munadana.’ (Vine’s Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words) Inde, anthu aŵili akasemphana maganizo, n’kutheka kuti onse aŵiliwo alakwitsa penapake, popeza onsewo ni opanda ungwilo ndipo amalakwa. Zimenezi nthawi zina zimafuna kuti onse aŵiliwo agwilizane.

Nkhani yagona pakuti ndani amene ayambilile kuyesa-yesa kukhazikitsa mtendele, osati kwenikweni kuti wolondola ndani nanga wolakwa ndani. Mtumwi Paulo atazindikila kuti Akristu a ku Korinto anali kutengela atumiki a Mulungu anzawo ku makhoti a dziko anali kusiyana maganizo pankhani monga za ndalama, iye anawalangiza kuti: “Cifukwa ninji simusankhula kulola kuipsidwa? Simusankhula cifukwa ninji kulola kunyengedwa?” (1 Akorinto 6:7) Ngakhale kuti Paulo ananena izi polimbikitsa Akristu anzake kuti asamafalitse kusiyana maganizo kwawo m’makhoti a dziko, mfundo yake ni yoonekelatu: Kukhala pamtendele na okhulupilila anzathu n’kofunika kwambili kuposa kupeza kuti wolondola ndani nanga wolakwa ndani. Kukhala na mfundo imeneyi m’maganizo kumapangitsa kuti kusakhale kovuta kupepesa pa cinthu comwe winawake akuganiza kuti tamulakwila.

Kunena Zocokela Pansi pa Mtima N’kofunika

Komabe, anthu ena amangochula paliponse mawu osonyeza kupepesa. Mwacitsanzo, ku Japan, mawu akuti sumimasen amene amagwilitsidwa nchito popepesa, anthu amawagwilitsila nchito kwambili. Angathe kugwilitsidwa nchito poyamikila, kusonyeza kudandaula cifukwa colephela kubwezela zabwino zimene munthu wacitilidwa. Cifukwa cakuti amagwilitsidwa nchito mwanjila zosiyana-siyana, ena angaganize kuti mawu amenewa amagwilitsidwa nchito mopitilila muyeso ndipo angakayikile ngati anthu amene akuchula mawuwa akunenadi za pansi pa mtima. M’zinenelo zina zingaonekenso kuti mawu osiyana-siyana opepesela akungogwilitsidwa nchito paliponse.

M’cinenelo ciliconse, m’pofunika kunena zocoka pansi pa mtima munthu ukamapepesa. Mawu omwe ukugwilitsila nchito ndiponso mmene mawuwo akumvekela ziyenela kusonyeza kuti munthuwe ulidi na cisoni. Yesu Kristu anaphunzitsa ophunzila ake mu Ulaliki wa pa Phili kuti: “Manenedwe anu akhale, Inde, inde; Iyayi, iyayi; ndipo cowonjezedwa pa izo cicokela kwa woipayo.” (Mateyu 5:37) Mukapepesa, mukhaledi mukutanthauza zimenezo! Mwacitsanzo: Mwamuna wina ataima pamzela woonetsa matikiti pa bwalo la ndege anapepesa cikwama cake citakankha mayi wina yemwe anali pambuyo pake. Patapita kanthawi pang’ono, mzelawo utasuntha, cikwamaco cinakankhanso mayi uja. Mwamunayo anapepesanso mwaulemu. Zimenezi zitacitikanso, mkulu wina yemwe anali na mayi uja anauza mwamunayo kuti ngati akunenadi zoona, aonetsetse kuti cikwamaco cisakankhenso mayiyo. Inde, munthu akapepesa mocokela pansi pa mtima afunika kuonetsetsa kuti asabwelezenso zimene walakwitsazo.

Ngati tikunena zocoka pansi pa mtima, kupepesa kwathu kudzaphatikizapo kuvomela colakwa ciliconse, kupempha kutikhululukila, ndiponso kuyesetsa kukonza zimene zawonongeka ngati n’kotheka. Nayenso wolakwilidwayo ayenela kum’khululukila mosanyinyilika munthu wolakwa amene walapayo. (Mateyu 18:21, 22; Mariko 11:25; Aefeso 4:32; Akolose 3:13) Popeza onsewo ni opanda ungwilo, nthawi zina kukhazikitsa mtendele sikungayende bwino-bwino. Komabe, mawu opepesa amathandiza kwambili kukhazikitsa mtendele.

Pamene Sipafunikila Kupepesa

Ngakhale kuti mawu osonyeza kudzimvela cisoni ndiponso kupepesa amazizilitsa mitima ndipo amalimbikitsa mtendele, munthu wanzelu sanena mawu otelowo pamene sipakuyenela kutelo. Mwacitsanzo, tinene kuti nkhani yake ni yokhudza kukhala wokhulupilika kwa Mulungu. Yesu Kristu ali padziko lapansi, “anadzicepetsa yekha, nakhala womvela kufikila imfa, ndiyo imfa ya pamtanda.” (Afilipi 2:8) Komabe, iye sanapepese cifukwa ca zomwe anali kukhulupilila pofuna kuthetsa mavuto ake. Ndipo Yesu sanapepese mkulu wa ansembe atam’lamula kuti: “Ndikulumbilitsa Iwe pa Mulungu wamoyo, kuti utiuze ife ngati Iwe ndiwe Kristu, Mwana wa Mulungu.” M’malo mopepesa mwamantha, Yesu anayankha molimba mtima kuti: “Mwatelo, koma ndinenanso kwa inu, Kuyambila tsopano mudzaona Mwana wa munthu ali kukhala kudzanja lamanja la mphamvu, ndi kufika pamitambo yakumwamba.” (Mateyu 26:63, 64) Yesu sanaganizepo n’komwe zoti apangane za mtendele na mkulu wa ansembe, n’kukhala wosakhulupilika kwa Atate wake, Yehova Mulungu.

Akristu amalemekeza anthu olamulila. Komabe, palibe cifukwa coti apepesele cifukwa comvela Mulungu ndiponso cifukwa cokonda abale awo.—Mateyu 28:19, 20; Aroma 13:5-7.

Palibe Zinthu Zolepheletsa Mtendele

Lelolino, timalakwa cifukwa ca ucimo umene timabadwa nawo wocokela kwa kholo lathu Adamu. (Aroma 5:12; 1 Yohane 1:10) Adamu anakhala wocimwa cifukwa copandukila Mlengi. Koma poyambililapo, Adamu na Hava anali angwilo komanso opanda ucimo, ndipo Mulungu walonjeza kudzabwezeletsanso anthu kuti akhale angwilo. Adzacotsa ucimo na zonse zimene zimacitika cifukwa ca ucimowo.—1 Akorinto 15:56, 57.

Tangoganizani tanthauzo la zimenezi! M’malangizo ake okhudza kugwilitsa nchito lilime, Yakobo, mbale wake wa Yesu, anati: “Munthu akapanda kukhumudwa pa mawu, iye ndiye munthu wangwilo, wokhoza kumanganso thupi lonse.” (Yakobo 3:2) Munthu wangwilo angathe kulamulila lilime lake moti sangafunike kupepesa cifukwa coligwilitsa ntchito molakwika. Iye ni ‘wokhoza kumanga thupi lake lonse.’ Zidzakhalatu zosangalatsa kwambili tikadzakhala angwilo! Panthawiyo sipadzakhalanso zinthu zolepheletsa mtendele pakati pa anthu. Komabe pakali pano, kupepesa mocoka pansi pa mtima ndiponso pamene kuli koyenela cifukwa ca zinthu zomwe taphonyetsa kudzatithandiza kwambili kukhazikitsa mtendele.

[Mau apansi]

 [Cithunzi pa tsamba 5]

Kodi tingaphunzilenji pa citsanzo ca Paulo?

 [Cithunzi pa tsamba 7]

Aliyense akadzakhala wangwilo, sipadzakhala zinthu zolepheletsa mtendele