CHAPTER 15

How Can I Resist Peer Pressure?

“At school you’re faced with so much​—smoking, drugs, sex. You know that what the kids want you to do is stupid. But you get to this point where you feel you just can’t chicken out.”​—Eve.

IT’S natural to want to be accepted by others. Peer pressure plays on that desire. For example, if you’re being raised as a Christian, you know that such things as premarital sex and alcohol abuse are wrong. (Galatians 5:19-21) Many of your peers, though, urge you to join them in these activities. Have they thought about these matters and made their own decision? Not likely. By and large, they  have yielded to the influence of others. They want to be accepted, so they allow others to shape what they believe. Do you? Or do you have the courage to stand up for your convictions?

Moses’ brother, Aaron, gave in to pressure​—at least in one instance. When the Israelites surrounded him and urged him to make a god for them, he did just what they told him to do! (Exodus 32:1-4) Imagine​—this was the man who had confronted Pharaoh, boldly declaring God’s message to him. (Exodus 7:1, 2, 16) But when his fellow Israelites poured on the pressure, Aaron caved in. Evidently, he found it easier to stand up to the king of Egypt than to stand up to his peers!

What about you? Do you find it hard to stand up for what you know is right? Would you like to be able to resist peer pressure without appearing tense and afraid? You can! The key is to see the pressure coming and decide in advance how you will respond to it. The four steps below will help you to do this.

1. Anticipate. (Proverbs 22:3) Often, you can see trouble in advance. For example,  you see a group of your schoolmates up ahead, and they’re smoking. How likely is it that they’ll offer you a cigarette? By anticipating the problem, you’ll be ready either to avoid it or to confront it.

2. Think. (Hebrews 5:14) You might ask yourself, ‘How will I feel in the long run if I go along with the crowd?’ True, you might gain the temporary approval of your peers. But how will you feel later, when you’re with your parents or fellow Christians? Are you willing to sacrifice a clean standing with God just to please your classmates?

3. Decide. (Deuteronomy 30:19) Sooner or later, all servants of God have to choose either faithfulness and its blessings or unfaithfulness and its bitter consequences. Men like Joseph, Job, and Jesus made the right choice, while Cain, Esau, and Judas chose poorly. Now it’s your turn to decide. What will you do?

4. Act. You might think this is the hardest part. It’s not! If you’ve already thought about the consequences and made up your mind, stating your position can be surprisingly easy​—and rewarding. (Proverbs 15:23) Don’t worry​—you don’t have to give your peers a Bible lecture. A simple but firm no may suffice. Or to make your nonnegotiable stand clear, you may choose to say:

“Count me out!”

“I don’t do that sort of thing!”

“Come on, you know me better than that!”

The key is to respond promptly and with conviction. If you do, you might be surprised how quickly your peers  will back off! Yet, what if they mock you? What if they say, “What’s wrong​—are you chicken?” Recognize this sort of taunt for what it is​—pure peer pressure. How can you respond? You have at least three options.

● You could absorb the taunt. (“You’re right, I am scared!” Then briefly state your reason.)

● You could deflect the pressure by stating your position, while not making an issue over it.

● You could return the pressure. State your reason for refusing and then appeal to your peers’ intellect. (“I thought you were too smart to smoke!”)

 If your peers continue to taunt you, leave the scene! The longer you stay, the more intense the pressure will become. Even if you have to walk away, remember: You took control of the situation. You didn’t let your peers squeeze you into their mold!

Some of your peers may taunt you and say that you aren’t thinking for yourself. But you are! In fact, Jehovah wants you to prove to yourself that it’s best to do his will. (Romans 12:2) So why let your peers make you their puppet? (Romans 6:16) Stand up for what you know to be right!

Realistically, you can’t hide from peer pressure. But you can know your mind, state your position, and take control. In the end, the choice is yours!​—Joshua 24:15.

READ MORE ABOUT THIS TOPIC IN VOLUME 1, CHAPTER 9

IN OUR NEXT CHAPTER

Living a double life? What good could possibly come from your parents’ finding out about it?

KEY SCRIPTURE

“He that is walking with wise persons will become wise, but he that is having dealings with the stupid ones will fare badly.”​—Proverbs 13:20.

TIP

To boost your courage, read published experiences of Jehovah’s modern-day servants who have successfully stood up for what’s right.

DID YOU KNOW . . . ?

Few of your classmates will have any contact with you a year after you leave school. Many may not even remember your name. But your family​—and, most of all, Jehovah God—​will always be interested in your welfare.​—Psalm 37:23-25.

ACTION PLAN!

I can prepare myself to resist peer pressure by ․․․․․

If my peers attempt to pressure me into wrong conduct, I will ․․․․․

What I would like to ask my parent(s) about this subject is ․․․․․

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

● In what circumstances might the four steps outlined in this chapter prove helpful to you?

● What can happen if you give in to peer pressure?

● What are some ways you can stand up to peer pressure?

[Blurb on page 131]

“A lot of the guys know I’m a Witness, and they give me respect. If they’re going to discuss something bad, they will say, ‘Mike, we’re getting ready to talk, so if you want to leave, leave.’”​—Mike

 [Chart on page 132, 133]

Worksheet

Peer-Pressure Planner

Sample

1 Anticipate

What is the challenge? Smoking cigarettes.

Where will I likely face this challenge? In the locker room.

2 Think

What will happen if I give in?

I will displease Jehovah and my parents. I’ll have a bad conscience. It will be harder for me to say no next time.

What will happen if I resist?

I might get teased or called names. Some of my schoolmates might avoid me. But I will make Jehovah happy, and I will become a stronger person.

3 Decide

If I give in, it will be because

I am not prepared well enough to face the peer pressure. I value the approval of my peers more than the approval of Jehovah.

I will resist because

I know that it displeases Jehovah and that smoking could damage my health.

4 Act

I will

say no and walk away.

Peers’ Taunts

If a peer says: “Come on, have a cigarette. Or are you too scared?”

I could respond to the peer pressure by

Absorbing it

“You’re right. I am scared of cigarettes. I don’t want to get lung cancer.”

Deflecting it

“Don’t waste your cigarette on me.”

Returning it

“No thanks. I thought you were too smart to smoke!”

NOTE: Leave the scene quickly if your peers continue to pressure you. The longer you stay, the greater the chance that you will become their puppet. Now, fill in your own sheet on the next page.

 Peer-Pressure Planner

Copy this page!

1 Anticipate

What is the challenge? ․․․․․

Where will I likely face this challenge? ․․․․․

2 Think

What will happen if I give in?

․․․․․

What will happen if I resist?

․․․․․

3 Decide

If I give in, it will be because . . .

․․․․․

I will resist because . . .

․․․․․

4 Act

․․․․․

I will . . .

․․․․․

Peers’ Taunts

If a peer says: ․․․․․

I could respond to the peer pressure by

Absorbing it

․․․․․

Deflecting it

․․․․․

Returning it

․․․․․

Rehearse your responses with a parent or a mature friend.

[Picture on page 135]

If you yield to pressure from your peers, you become their puppet