Udindo Wanu Monga Kholo

PETER GORSKI wa pa sukulu yophunzitsa madokotala ya Harvard anati: “Mukachititsa mwana kumva kuti amakondedwa, kumva kuti iyenso ndi mbali ya banjalo, kumuthandiza kukhala ndi cholinga ndiponso kukhala ndi mtima wofuna kudziŵa zinthu, ubongo wake umakula bwino. Udindo wathu monga makolo sikupangitsa ubongo kugwira ntchito bwino kwambiri, koma kulimbikitsa ana athu kukula n’kukhala achikulire abwinobwino, olongosoka, ndiponso achifundo.”

N’zolimbikitsa kwambiri ngati muli kholo kuona mwana wanu atakula n’kukhala munthu wamakhalidwe abwino amene amaganizira anthu ena. Kuti mukwanitse zimenezo, zimadalira makamaka zimene inuyo mumachita kuti mupatse mwana wanu chitsanzo chabwino, mukhale mnzake, mukhale munthu woti azilankhula naye momasuka, ndiponso kuti mukhale mphunzitsi wake. Ngakhale kuti ana onse mwachibadwa akhoza kukhala ndi khalidwe labwino, makolo ayenera kuphunzitsa anawo mfundo za makhalidwe abwino pang’onopang’ono pamene akukula.

Kodi Ana Amatengera Zochita za Ndani?

Ochita kafukufuku ali ndi maganizo osiyanasiyana pa nkhani yoti ana amatengera kwambiri zochita za ndani. Ena amakhulupirira kuti ana amatengera makamaka zochita za anzawo. Komabe, madokotala aŵiri, T. Berry Brazelton ndi Stanley Greenspan, amene ali akatswiri pa nkhani ya  kakulidwe ka ana, amakhulupirira kuti ntchito imene kholo limagwira polimbikitsa mwana kuphunzira kukhala wachifundo kuyambira ali wamng’ono, ndi yofunika kwambiri.

Zimene mwana amakumana nazo akamakula ndiponso zimene amatengera kwa anzake zimangowonjezera zinthu zimene anaphunzira ali wamng’ono. Kuchitira chifundo ana m’banja ndi kuwamvetsetsa n’kofunika kwambiri. Ayeneranso kuphunzitsidwa kuchita zinthu m’njira yoyenera akakhala kuti zinazake sizinawasangalatse. Ana amene amathandizidwa chonchi savutika kugwirizana ndi anthu, kuwachitira chifundo, ndiponso kuchita zinthu zowaganizira pogwira nawo ntchito.

Kuphunzitsa mwana kuyambira ali wakhanda ndi ntchito yaikulu. Kuti zinthu zikuyendereni bwino, makamaka ngati ndi mwana wanu woyamba, n’chinthu chanzeru kufunsa ena amene analerapo kale ana ndiyeno n’kutsatiradi zimene mwauzidwazo. Akatswiri alemba mabuku ambirimbiri onena za kakulidwe ka ana. Nthaŵi zambiri zimene amanenazo zimafanana ndi malangizo odalirika a m’Baibulo. Makolo amene atsatira mfundo zodalirika zimene zili m’Mawu a Mulungu athandizidwa kulera ana awo bwino. Taonani malangizo othandiza otsatiraŵa.

Muziwasonyeza Chikondi Kwambiri

Ana ali ngati timbewu ting’onoting’ono timene timakula bwino mukamatisamalira nthaŵi zonse ndiponso mwachikondi. Madzi ndi kuwala zimathandiza kambewu kakang’ono kupeza chakudya ndipo zimakathandiza kukula bwino ndiponso kukhala kolimba. Mofanana ndi zimenezo, makolo amene amauza ana awo nthaŵi zonse kuti amawakonda ndiponso amene amawakupatira ndi kuwasisita nthaŵi zonse amathandiza ana awo kukhala oganiza bwino akamakula.

Baibulo limanena momveka bwino kuti: ‘Chikondi chimamangirira.’ (1 Akorinto 8:1) Makolo amene amakonda kwambiri ana awo ndiye kuti akutsanzira Mlengi wawo, Yehova Mulungu. Baibulo limafotokoza kuti pa ubatizo wa Yesu, iye anamva mawu a Atate ake osonyeza kuti amakondwera naye ndiponso amamukonda monga Mwana wawo. Zimenezo zinali zolimbikitsa kwambiri kwa Yesu, ngakhale kuti anali wachikulire!—Luka 3:22.

Chikondi chimene mumasonyeza mwana wanu, nthano zimene mumamuimbira asanagone, ngakhale maseŵera amene mumaseŵera naye, n’zinthu zofunika kwambiri kuti akule bwino. Dr. J. Fraser Mustard anati: ‘Chilichonse chimene mwanayo akuchita chimawonjezera zinthu zimene akudziŵa kale. Ngati mwana akuphunzira kukwaŵa, mmene mumamulimbikitsira ndi zimene mumachita n’zofunika kwambiri.’ Chikondi chimene mumasonyeza mwana wanu ndi nthaŵi imene mumachitira naye zinthu limodzi zimayala maziko omuthandiza kukula bwino ndi kukhala munthu wachikulire wodalirika ndiponso wokhwima maganizo.

Khalani Mnzawo Ndipo Lankhulani Nawo Momasuka

Kukhala ndi nthaŵi yochitira zinthu limodzi ndi ana anu kumathandiza kuti muzikondana. Kuwonjezera apo, kumathandiza  kuti muzilankhulana bwino. Malemba amalimbikitsa kuti muzikondana chonchi mukakhala kunyumba kapena kwina kulikonse, ndiponso panthaŵi iliyonse.—Deuteronomo 6:6, 7; 11:18-21.

Akatswiri a kakulidwe ka ana amagwirizana pa mfundo yoti nthaŵi imene makolo amathera limodzi ndi ana awo ndi yofunika kwambiri kuposa zidole zokwera mtengo kapena kuchita zinthu zina zilizonse. Pamene mukuchita zinthu zosalira ndalama zambiri zomwe anthu amachita masiku onse, mungakhale ndi mpata wolankhulana ndi ana anu. Mwachitsanzo, kupita kokayenda limodzi ndi anawo kuti muwongoleko miyendo kungapatse makolo mpata woti afunse ana awo mafunso owalimbikitsa kulankhula.

Malemba amati pali “mphindi yakuvina.” (Mlaliki 3:1, 4) Indedi, maseŵera amene mwana amachita akafuna yekha amathandiza kukulitsa nzeru zake, maganizo ake, ndi luso lake locheza ndi anthu ena. Malinga ndi zimene ananena Dr. Mustard, maseŵera sikuti ndi othandiza chabe, koma ndi ofunika kwambiri. Iye anati: “Nthaŵi imene mwana akuseŵera ndi imene timitsempha ta mu ubongo wake timalumikizana kwambiri, kukonzekera kuti adzathe kuchita zinthu zosiyanasiyana.” Zoseŵeretsa zimene mwana angagwiritse ntchito poseŵera akafuna yekha zikhoza kukhala zosavuta kupeza, monga katoni yopanda kanthu. Zinthu wamba zopezeka m’nyumba zomwe sizingavulaze mwana poseŵera nazo zimachititsa mwana kukhala ndi chidwi ngati mmene zimachitira zidole zamakono zokwera mtengo. *

Akatswiri amakhulupirira kuti kuuza ana kuti azichita zinthu zosiyanasiyana zambiri zokonzedwa ndi anthu achikulire kungawalepheretse kuganiza ndi kutulukira zinthu pawokha. M’pofunika kuchita zinthu mosanyanyira. Muloleni mwana wanu kuti azitulukira zinthu payekha ndiponso azigwiritsa ntchito nzeru zake. Nthaŵi zambiri mwana amapeza yekha chochita choti chizimusangalatsa. Komabe ndi udindo wanu kudziŵa chimene mwana wanu akuchita ndi kumene akuseŵera kuti asadzipweteke.

Khalani ndi Nthaŵi Yowaphunzitsa

Kuphunzitsa ana ndi mbali yofunika kwambiri powalera kuti adzakhale achikulire olongosoka. Makolo ambiri amapatula nthaŵi tsiku lililonse yoŵerengera ana awo motulutsa mawu. Kuchita zimenezi kumapereka mpata wophunzitsa mwanayo makhalidwe oyenera, ndiponso kumuphunzitsa mfundo za makhalidwe abwino zochokera kwa Mlengi wathu. Baibulo limafotokoza kuti Timoteo, mphunzitsi wokhulupirika ndiponso mmishonale, ‘anadziŵa malembo opatulika kuyambira ukhanda wake.’—2 Timoteo 3:15.

Kuŵerengera mwana kungachititse kuti timitsempha ta mu ubongo wake tizilumikizana kwambiri. Chofunika kwambiri n’choti woŵerengayo azikhala munthu amene azichita naye chidwi mwanayo ndi kuchita zinthu zomuganizira. Pulofesa wina wa maphunziro dzina lake Linda Siegel anaperekapo malangizo pa zinthu zimene muyenera kuŵerengera mwanayo. Iye anati:  “Ziyenera kukhala zinthu zoti ana angasangalale nazo.” Ndiponso yesetsani kumaŵerenga tsiku lililonse, pa nthaŵi yomweyomweyo. Mukatero, mwana uja amayamba kumadikirira kuti mumuŵerengere nthaŵiyo ikakwana.

Kuphunzitsa kumaphatikizapo kulangiza, kapena kuti kupereka mwambo. Ana amapindula mukamawalangiza mwachikondi. Lemba la Miyambo 13:1 limati: “Mwana wanzeru amamvera mwambo wa atate.” Komabe, zindikirani kuti kulangiza kumene akutchula pano kumaphatikizapo zambiri. Mwachitsanzo, kungatanthauze kuuza munthu kuti asinthe khalidwe, kumumana zinthu zinazake, kapena kumulanga mwa njira zina. Dr. Brazelton, amene tinamutchula kale uja, anati cholinga cha kulangiza ndicho “kuphunzitsa mwana kuti azitha kudziletsa ndiponso kuti asakhale ndi khalidwe loipa. Mwana aliyense amafuna kuti winawake amuikire malire. Kuwonjezera pa chikondi, kulangiza mwana n’chinthu chachiŵiri chofunika kwambiri chimene mungamuchitire.”

Kodi inu monga kholo mungatsimikize bwanji kuti malangizo anu adzaphula kanthu? Njira imodzi ndiyo kuonetsetsa kuti ana anu azizindikira chifukwa chimene mukuwalangira. Mukamawawongolera, muzitero m’njira yoti anawo aziona kuti mumawaganizira ndiponso mumawakonda.

Khama Limene Limapindula

Fred ndi bambo amene anali ndi chizoloŵezi choŵerengera mwana wake wamkazi tsiku lililonse asanagone kuyambira ali wakhanda. Patapita nthaŵi, anaona kuti mwana wake uja analoweza nkhani zambiri, ndipo ankatsatira iye akamaŵerenga, ndiponso ankazindikira mawu ambiri. Chris nayenso ndi kholo limene linachita khama kuŵerengera ana ake. Ankayesetsa kusinthasintha zinthu zimene ankaŵerengazo. Pamene anawo anali aang’ono kwambiri, ankagwiritsa ntchito zithunzi za m’mabuku monga Bukhu Langa la Nkhani za Baibulo kuwaphunzitsa makhalidwe abwino ndi zinthu zauzimu. *

Kuwonjezera pa kuŵerenga, makolo ena amachitanso zinthu zina zosiyanasiyana, monga kujambula zithunzi, kuimba nyimbo, kapena kupita koyenda. Nthaŵi imene akuchita zimenezi ingawapatse mwayi wophunzitsa mwanayo ndi kukhomereza mfundo za makhalidwe abwino mu mtima ndi m’maganizo a mwanayo, amene amakhala wosavuta kumuphunzitsa zinthu panthaŵi imeneyi.

Kodi ntchito yonseyo ili ndi phindu lake? Makolo akamayesetsa kutsatira mfundo zothandiza zomwe tazitchulazi m’banja lamtendere ndi lotetezeka, ana awo amakula ndi mtima wabwino. Mukamalimbikitsa ana akadali aang’ono kuganiza mwanzeru ndi kulankhulana bwino ndi anthu ena, mudzawathandiza kwambiri kuti akhale ndi khalidwe labwino ndiponso kuti akule bwino mwauzimu.

Zaka zambiri zapitazo, Baibulo linanena momveka bwino pa Miyambo 22:6 kuti: “Phunzitsa mwana poyamba njira yake; ndipo angakhale atakalamba sadzachokamo.” Makolo alidi ndi udindo waukulu pophunzitsa mwana. Muziwakonda kwambiri ana anu. Muzipeza nthaŵi yochitira nawo zinthu limodzi, muziwasamalira, ndipo muziwaphunzitsa. Mukachita zimenezo inuyo mudzasangalala, ndipo nawonso adzasangalala.—Miyambo 15:20.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Bokosi patsamba 7]

Kuseŵera ndi Mwana Wanu

▪ Chidwi cha ana sichichedwa kutha, choncho muziseŵera nawo panthaŵi yokhayo imene akuoneka kuti zikuwasangalatsa.

▪ Ngati mugwiritsa ntchito zoseŵeretsa, onetsetsani kuti zikhale zosachititsa ngozi ndiponso zomuthandiza mwanayo kugwiritsa ntchito ubongo wake.

▪ Muziseŵera maseŵera ochita zinthu zinazake, osati ongokhala. Ana amasangalala kwambiri akamakuchititsani chinthu chinachake kambirimbiri, monga kutola chidole chimene agwetsa.

[Mawu a Chithunzi]

Source: Clinical Reference Systems

[Bokosi/Chithunzi patsamba 10]

Mfundo Zothandiza Poŵerengera Mwana Wanu

▪ Muzitchula mawu momveka bwino ndiponso molondola. Mwana amaphunzira kulankhula pomva makolo ake akulankhula.

▪ Mukamaŵerengera ana aang’ono kwambiri, muziloza ndi kutchula mayina a anthu ndi zinthu zina zojambulidwa m’mabuku.

▪ Mwanayo akamakula, muzisankha mabuku ogwirizana ndi zimene akukonda panthaŵi imeneyo.

[Mawu a Chithunzi]

Source: Pediatrics for Parents

[Zithunzi pamasamba 8, 9]

Muzichitira limodzi zinthu zosangalatsa ndi ana anu