Zimene Achinyamata Amadzifunsa

Kodi Kugonana Tili Pachibwenzi Kungachititse Kuti Tizikondana Kwambiri?

Heather ndi Mike angokhala pachibwenzi kwa miyezi iwiri, koma iye wakopeka kwambiri ndi Mike moti zikungokhala ngati anamudziwa kalekale. Amatumizirana mauthenga kawirikawiri ndiponso amalankhulana pafoni kwa nthawi yaitali. Komanso akangoyang’anizana, aliyense amadziwa chimene mnzakeyo akufuna. Koma tsiku lina ali m’galimoto madzulo, Mike ankaoneka kuti kucheza kokha sikumamukwanira.

Miyezi iwiri yapitayi, Mike ndi Heather sankachita zinthu zina kupatulapo kugwirana manja komanso kupsompsonana. Ndipo Heather sakufuna kuchita zopitirira pamenepa. Komabe, iye akuopa kuti Mike akhoza kuthetsa chibwenzicho ngati atamukanira kuchita zimene akufuna. Heather amaona kuti amakondedwa kwambiri ndi Mike. Iye akunena mumtima mwake kuti, ‘Ndiponso popeza kuti tili pachibwenzi, . . . Palibe vuto kuchita zimene iye akufuna.’

MWINA mukhoza kuoneratu kumene chibwenzi chawochi chikulowera. Koma chinthu chimene mwina simungachione ndi mavuto amene angabwere ngati awiriwa atagonana. Taganizirani izi:

Kodi chingachitike n’chiyani ngati mutanyalanyaza lamulo lakuti musadumphe kuchokera pa denga la nyumba n’kugwera pansi? N’zosakayikitsa kuti mukhoza kuvulala. N’chimodzimodzinso munthu akanyalanyaza malamulo okhudza makhalidwe abwino, monga la “kupewa dama.” * (1 Atesalonika 4:3) Kodi chimachitika n’chiyani munthu akaphwanya lamulo limeneli? Baibulo limati: “Amene amachita dama  amachimwira thupi lake.” (1 Akorinto 6:18) Kodi zimenezi ndi zoona? Lembani m’munsimu mavuto atatu amene anthu omwe amagonana asanakwatirane angakumane nawo.

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Kodi mwalemba chiyani? Kodi mwalemba zinthu monga matenda opatsirana pogonana, mimba yosakonzekera ndiponso kuchimwira Mulungu? Amenewa ndi ena mwa mavuto oopsa kwambiri amene angabwere ngati munthu ataphwanya lamulo la Mulungu lokhudza dama.

Komabe, mwina munganene mosaganiza bwino kuti, ‘Palibe chimene chingandichitikire.’ Ndiponso mwina mungaganize kuti anzanu onse amagonana ndi zibwenzi zawo. N’kutheka anzanu akusukulu amanena modzitama kuti anachitapo zachiwerewere ndipo amaoneka kuti sanakumane ndi vuto lililonse. Mwinanso, mofanana ndi Heather yemwe tamutchula kumayambiriro kwa nkhaniyi, mukuona kuti kugonana ndi chibwenzi chanu kungachititse kuti muzikondana kwambiri. Ndiponso mwina mukuopa kuti anzanu azikunenani chifukwa chakuti simunagonepo ndi winawake. Choncho, pofuna kupewa zimenezi, mungaganize kuti ndi bwino kungochita zimene anzanu akuchita.

Koma musapupulume kuchita zimenezo. Choyamba, dziwani kuti si achinyamata onse amene amachita zachiwerewere. N’zoona kuti mungawerenge nkhani zosonyeza kuti achinyamata ambiri amachita zachiwerewere. Mwachitsanzo, nkhani ina ku United States inasonyeza kuti pomaliza maphunziro a ku sekondale, achinyamata awiri pa atatu alionse amakhala atagonana ndi winawake. Koma zimenezi zikusonyezanso kuti wachinyamata mmodzi pa atatu alionse amakhala asanagonanepo ndi munthu, ndipo chiwerengero chimenechi n’chabwino ndithu. Kodi amene anachitapo zachiwerewere zotsatira zake zimakhala zotani? Akatswiri apeza kuti achinyamata ambiri amene anachitapo zachiwerewere amakumana ndi vuto limodzi kapena angapo pa mavuto otsatirawa.

Vuto Loyamba: KUVUTIKA MAGANIZO. Achinyamata ambiri amene anachitapo zachiwerewere amanena kuti atachita zimenezi ankaona kuti sanachite bwino.

Vuto Lachiwiri: KUKAYIKIRANA. Ngati mutagonana ndi chibwenzi chanu, mumayamba kudzifunsa kuti, ‘Kodi ameneyu wagona ndi angati?’

Vuto Lachitatu: CHIBWENZI CHIKHOZA KUTHA Nthawi zambiri mtsikana akagonana ndi mnyamata amene ali naye pachibwenzi, mnyamatayo amathetsa chibwenzicho n’kupeza china.

Vuto Lachinayi: KUKHUMUDWITSIDWA. Ngakhale kuti sangakuuzeni, mtsikana amafuna mnyamata amene angamuteteze, osati kumudyera masuku pamutu.

Kuwonjezera pa zimene zili pamwambazi,  taganiziraninso vuto lina ili: Anyamata ambiri amanena kuti sangakwatire mtsikana amene anagonapo naye. Kodi mukudziwa chifukwa chake? N’chifukwa chakuti amafuna munthu wodzisunga.

Kodi zimenezi zikukudabwitsani kapenanso kukukhumudwitsani? Kaya ndinu mtsikana kapena mnyamata, kumbukirani mfundo iyi: Kugonana ndi munthu musanakwatirane naye kumabweretsa mavuto aakulu mosiyana ndi zimene amaonetsa m’mafilimu kapena pa TV. Anthu opanga mafilimu amafuna kuti muziona ngati kugonana ndi munthu amene muli naye pachibwenzi kungathandize kuti muzikondana kwambiri. Koma musapusitsidwe. Munthu amene angakuuzeni kuti mugonane naye sakuganizirani ndipo amangofuna kuti zake ziyende. (1 Akorinto 13:4, 5) Ndipo kodi munthu amene amakukondanidi angakupempheni kuti muchite zinthu zimene zingakubweretsereni mavuto? (Miyambo 5:3, 4) Ndiponso kodi munthu amene amakuganizirani angafune kuti muchite zinthu zimene zingawononge ubwenzi wanu ndi Mulungu?—Aheberi 13:4.

Kunena zoona, ngati mutalola kuchita zachiwerewere musanakwatirane, ndiye kuti mukudzichotsera ulemu ndipo zili ngati kutaya chinthu chofunika kwambiri. (Aroma 1:24) M’pake kuti achinyamata ambiri pambuyo pochita zachiwerewere amaona kuti ndi achabechabe. Amamva ngati kuti mbali ina yofunika kwambiri ya thupi lawo yabedwa. Musalole kuti zimenezi zikuchitikireni. Ngati munthu wina akukunyengererani ponena kuti, “Ngati umandikonda, tiye tigonane,” mungamuyankhe mwamphamvu kuti, “Ngati umandikonda, sukanandipempha zimenezi.”

Thupi lanu ndi lamtengo wapatali, choncho si nzeru kugonana ndi munthu musanakwatirane. Yesetsani kumvera lamulo la Mulungu lakuti mupewe dama. Mukadzakwatira mudzakhala ndi ufulu wogonana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu. Ndipo muzidzachita zimenezi mosangalala, popanda kuopa mavuto amene anthu amene amagonana asanakwatirane amakumana nawo.—Miyambo 7:22, 23; 1 Akorinto 7:3.

Nkhani zina zakuti “Zimene Achinyamata Amafunsa,“ mungazipeze pa adiresi yathu ya pa Intaneti ya www.pr418.com.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

ZOTI MUGANIZIRE

● Ngakhale kuti mwina mungafune kugonana ndi munthu musanakwatirane naye, n’chifukwa chiyani muyenera kupewa?

● Kodi mungachite chiyani ngati winawake atakuuzani kuti mugonane?

[Bokosi/Zithunzi patsamba 27]

ZIMENE ACHINYAMATA ANZANU AMANENA

“Kungonena kuti, ‘Ayi,’ sikokwanira kuti munthu asiye kukuvutitsani. Mukamanena mtima uli zii, amaganiza kuti mukufuna. Choncho muyenera kukana mwamphamvu.”

“Kungonena kuti, ‘Ayi,’ sikothandiza nthawi zina. Ndiponso ngakhale kungofotokoza mfundo za m’Baibulo zimene mumatsatira, nthawi zina zikukhala kokwanira. Ineyo ndamvapo ena akunena modzitama kuti anakwanitsa kuchita zachiwerewere ndi Mkhristu. Choncho, nthawi zina ndi bwino kungochokapo. N’zovuta kuchita zimenezi komabe n’zothandiza.”

“Monga Mkhristu, muli ndi makhalidwe amene anthu ena amakopeka nawo. Choncho samalani ndipo muzikana kuchita zinthu zosayenera. Muzinyadira mfundo zimene mumatsatira ndipo musasiye makhalidwe anu abwino.”

[Zithunzi]

Diana

James

Joshua

[Bokosi patsamba 28]

Azikunyadirani Nthawi Zonse

Ngati muli pachibwenzi ndi mtsikana winawake, kodi mumamuganizira? Ngati mumamuganizira, muzimusonyeza kuti

● mumafunitsitsa kutsatira malamulo a Mulungu

● muli ndi nzeru zotha kupewa zinthu zimene zingakuikeni pamayesero

● mumamukonda pochita zinthu zimene zingamusangalatse.

Ngati muchita zimenezi, n’zosakayikitsa kuti mtsikana amene muli naye pachibwenziyo adzakukondani kwambiri moti anganene zofanana ndi zimene mtsikana wachisulami ananena. Iye anati: “Wokondedwa wanga ndi wa ine, ine ndine wake.” (Nyimbo ya Solomo 2:16.) Mwachidule, tinganene kuti azikunyadirani nthawi zonse.

Onani Miyambo 22:3; 1 Akorinto 6:18; 13:4-8.

[Bokosi patsamba 28]

MFUNDO YOTHANDIZA

Kuti mupewe kuchita zinthu zosayenera mukakhala pachibwenzi, mungatsatire mfundo iyi: Ngati mukufuna kuchita zinthu zinazake zimene mukudziwa kuti simungachite makolo anu akuona, ndi bwino musazichite.

[Chithunzi patsamba 28]

Kugonana ndi munthu amene simunakwatirane naye n’kusayamikira zimene Mulungu anatipatsa, ndipo kuli ngati kutenga chithunzi chokongola kwambiri chimene winawake anatipatsa n’kuchisandutsa chopondera