Mutu 2

N’chifukwa Chiyani Ndimangokhalira Kukangana ndi Makolo Anga?

Pa mkangano umene uli kumayambiriro kwa mutuwu, Rachel wachita zinthu zitatu zomwe zakolezera mkanganowu. Kodi mungathe kuzitchula? Lembani mayankho anu m’munsimu kenako muwayerekezere ndi mayankho amene ali m’bokosi lakuti  “Mayankho” patsamba 20.

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 Madzulo a Lachitatu, Rachel, yemwe ali ndi zaka 17, wamaliza ntchito zake ndipo akuganiza zoti apume. Akuyatsa TV n’kukhala pampando womwe amaukonda.

Nthawi yomweyo, mayi ake akutulukira ndipo akuoneka kuti akwiya. Akumufunsa kuti: “Rachel! N’chifukwa chiyani ukuwononga nthawi kuonera TV m’malo moti uzikamuthandiza mwana kulemba homuweki? Siumamva chifukwa chiyani kodi iwe?”

Rachel akuyankha mwamwano kuti: “Mwayambapotu zanu zija.”

Mayi ake akumuyandikira n’kufunsa kuti: “Wati chani?”

Rachel akuyankha mwamwano kuti: “Kaya.”

Mayi ake akukwiya kenako akumuuza kuti: “Iwe usamalankhule choncho ndi ine!”

Rachel akuyankha kuti: “Mukundinena ine, nanga inuyo?”

Zikatero mkangano wayamba ndipo kupuma kuja kwathera pomwepo.

KODI zimene zili pamwambazi zinakuchitikiranipo? Kodi inuyo mumakangana ndi makolo anu kawirikawiri? Ngati zili choncho, taganizirani izi. Kodi ndi nkhani ziti zimene mumakonda kukangana? Ikani chizindikiro ichi ✔ m’kabokosi komwe kali ndi nkhani zimene mumakonda kukangana kapena lembani nkhani yomwe mumakangana pamene alemba kuti “Zina.”

□ Khalidwe

□ Ntchito zapakhomo

□ Zovala

□ Nthawi yofika pakhomo

□ Zosangalatsa

□ Anthu ocheza nawo

□ Nkhani ya anyamata kapena atsikana

□ Zina ․․․․․

Kaya mumakangana ndi makolo anu pa nkhani yanji, kukangana kumachititsa kuti nonse mukhumudwe. N’zotheka  kungokhala phee n’kumaoneka ngati mukugwirizana ndi zimene makolo anu akunena. Koma kuchita zimenezi si nzeru chifukwa si zimene Mulungu amafuna kuti muzichita. N’zoona kuti Baibulo limati: “Uzilemekeza bambo ako ndi mayi ako.” (Aefeso 6:2, 3) Koma limalimbikitsanso kuti muziyesetsa “kuganiza bwino” panokha komanso “kugwiritsa ntchito luntha [lanu] la kuganiza.” (Miyambo 1:1-4; Aroma 12:1) Mukamachita zimenezi, mungayambe kuona zinthu zina mosiyana ndi mmene makolo anu amazionera. Komabe, m’mabanja amene amatsatira mfundo za m’Baibulo, zimatheka makolo ndi ana kukambirana mwamtendere ngakhale kuti angamaone zinthu zina mosiyana.​—Akolose 3:13.

Kodi mungafotokoze bwanji maganizo anu popanda kuyambitsa mkangano? Mwina munganene kuti: “Si ine amene ndimayambitsa mkangano. Makolo anga ndi amene ali ndi vuto chifukwa nthawi zonse amangondiuza zochita.” Koma taganizirani izi: Kodi inuyo mungathe kusintha maganizo a anthu ena, kuphatikizapo makolo anu? Ayi, inuyo ndi amene muyenera kusintha maganizo anu. Ndipo chosangalatsa n’chakuti ngati inuyo mutayesetsa kupewa mkangano, nawonso makolo anu angayambe kumaugwira mtima komanso kumakumvetserani mukamalankhula nawo.

Choncho tiyeni tikambirane zomwe mungachite kuti musamangokhalira kukangana. Yesetsani kutsatira mfundo zomwe zili m’munsizi, ndipo mudzadabwa kuona kuti mwayamba kukambirana bwinobwino ndi makolo anu popanda kukangana.

● Muziganiza kaye musanayankhe. Ngati mukuona kuti makolo anu akukukalipirani musamangolankhula chilichonse chomwe chabwera m’maganizo mwanu. Mwachitsanzo, ngati mayi anu atanena kuti: “N’chifukwa chiyani sunatsuke mbale? Bwanji kodi iwe suumva?” Mwina yankho limene lingabwere mwamsanga m’maganizo mwanu lingakhale lakuti, “Inu musanditopetse.” Koma muziganiza  kaye musanalankhule. Yesetsani kuganizira zimene zachititsa mayi anu kunena mawu amenewa. Nthawi zambiri munthu akanena kuti “sumachita chakutichakuti” satanthauza kuti suchitadi zomwe akunenazo. Koma pamakhala kuti pali chinthu chinachake chimene chawachititsa kunena zimenezo. Kodi chingakhale chiyani?

N’kutheka kuti mayi anu atopa ndipo akuona kuti ali ndi ntchito yambiri yoti agwire pakhomopo. Akhozanso kukhala kuti akungofuna kuti inuyo muwatsimikizire kuti muwathandiza kugwira ntchito zina ndi zina. Ngati zili choncho, kuwayankha kuti “Inu musanditopetse” kungachititse kuti mungokanganapo. Mwina mungachite bwino kuwakhazika mtima pansi. Mwachitsanzo, mungawayankhe kuti: “Musadandaule amayi. Mbalezo nditsuka pompanopompano.” Komabe muyenera kusamala: Musanene zimenezi mwamwano. Ngati mutayankha mosonyeza kuti mukuwaganizira, mayi anu akhoza kuugwira mtima komanso akhoza kukuuzani chimene chawapangitsa kukulankhulani choncho. *

Lembani zomwe mayi kapena bambo anu anganene, zimene zingakukwiyitseni ngati inuyo simungawayankhe bwino.

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Kenako ganizirani yankho labwinoko lomwe mungawayankhe lomwe lingathandize makolo anuwo kunena chomwe chawachititsa kukulankhulani choncho.

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 ● Muzilankhula mwaulemu. Zimene zinachitikira Michelle zinamuthandiza kudziwa kuti ayenera kulankhula bwino ndi mayi ake. Iye anati: “Pa nkhani iliyonse imene tingakambirane, mayi anga amaoneka kuti sasangalala ndi mmene ndimawayankhira.” Ngati inunso zimakuchitikirani, yesetsani kulankhula modekha komanso mtima uli m’malo ndipo muzipewa kuchita zinthu zimene zingasonyeze kuti mwaboweka. (Miyambo 30:17) Ngati mukuona kuti mwayamba kukwiya, muzipereka pemphero lachidule la mumtima. (Nehemiya 2:4) Cholinga cha pempherolo chisakhale kupempha Mulungu kuti akuthandizeni kuwina mkanganowo koma kuti akuthandizeni kuugwira mtima kuti musanene zinthu zomwe zingapangitse kuti mkanganowo ufike poipa.​—Yakobo 1:26.

Lembani m’munsimu mawu komanso zinthu zina zomwe muyenera kupewa polankhula ndi makolo anu.

Mawu amene mungayankhe:

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Zomwe mungachite ndi nkhope yanu kapena thupi lanu posonyeza kukwiya:

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● Muzimvetsera. Baibulo limati: “Pakachuluka mawu sipalephera kukhala zolakwa.” (Miyambo 10:19) Choncho, yesetsani kupereka mpata wolankhula kwa mayi komanso bambo anu ndipo inuyo muzimvetsera ndi mtima wonse. Musamawadule mawu n’cholinga choti mudziikere kumbuyo. Muzingomvetsera. Kenako, akamaliza kulankhula mungakhale ndi nthawi yokwanira yowafunsa  mafunso kapena kufotokozapo maganizo anu. Koma ngati mutapupuluma kufotokoza maganizo anu nthawi yomwe akulankhulayo, mungangowonjezeranso mkanganowo. Ngakhale mutakhala ndi zambiri zolankhula, nthawi imeneyo ndi “nthawi yokhala chete.”​—Mlaliki 3:7.

● Khalani wokonzeka kupepesa. Nthawi zonse ndi bwino kupepesa pa chilichonse chomwe mwachita chimene chachititsa kuti mkanganowo uyambe. (Aroma 14:19) Mungapepesenso chifukwa  chakuti pali kusemphana maganizo. Ngati mukuona kuti n’zovuta kupepesa pamasom’pamaso, mukhoza kungolemba kakalata kachidule. Ndipo m’malo mongopepesa chabe, mungachitenso bwino kusintha khalidwe lililonse lomwe layambitsa mkanganowo. (Mateyu 5:41) Mwachitsanzo, ngati makolo anu akwiya chifukwa choti simunagwire ntchito inayake, mungachite bwino kungogwira ntchitoyo. Ngakhale zitakhala kuti ntchitoyo sikusangalatsani, kuli bwino kungogwira ntchitoyo kusiyana n’kuti akukalipireni chifukwa choti simunagwire ntchitoyo. (Mateyu 21:28-31) Muziganizira phindu limene mungapeze ngati mutayesetsa mbali yanu kupewa kukangana ndi makolo anu.

Mabanja amene amayenda bwino amasemphananso maganizo nthawi zina koma amakambirana mwamtendere. Yesetsani kutsatira malangizo amene takambirana m’mutu umenewu ndipo mudzaona kuti n’zotheka kukambirana bwinobwino nkhani zovuta ndi makolo anu popanda kukangana.

M’MUTU WOTSATIRA

Kodi mungatani ngati mumaona kuti makolo anu samakupatsani mpata wokwanira wochitira zinthu zina?

[Mawu a M’munsi]

LEMBA

‘Munthu wolungama amayamba waganiza asanayankhe.’​—Miyambo 15:28.

MFUNDO YOTHANDIZA

Ngati makolo anu ayamba kukulankhulani mukumvera nyimbo kapena kuwerenga, muyenera kuzimitsa kaye nyimbozo komanso kusiya zomwe mumawerengazo ndipo muziwayang’ana.

KODI MUKUDZIWA . . . ?

Kuyesetsa kupewa komanso kuthetsa kusamvana kungapangitse kuti moyo wanu uziyenda bwino. Ndipotu Baibulo limanena kuti munthu “wosonyeza kukoma mtima kosatha amapindulitsa moyo wake.”—Miyambo 11:17.

ZOTI NDICHITE

Pa mfundo zonse zomwe ndawerenga m’mutu umenewu ndikufuna ndiyesetse kwambiri kutsatira mfundo iyi: ․․․․․

Ndikufuna ndiyambe kutsatira mfundo imeneyi pa (lembani deti) ․․․․․

Zimene ndikufuna kufunsa makolo anga pa nkhaniyi: ․․․․․

KODI INUYO MUKUGANIZA BWANJI?

● N’chifukwa chiyani anzanu amaona kuti ndi bwino kuyesetsa kuwina mkangano?

● N’chifukwa chiyani Yehova amaona kuti munthu wokonda mkangano ndi wopusa?​—Miyambo 20:3.

● Kodi mungapindule bwanji ngati mutamayesetsa kupewa kukangana ndi makolo anu?

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 18]

“Nthawi zina mayi anga amandipepesa n’kundihaga ndipo ndimamva bwino kwambiri. Zimenezi zimachititsa kuti tonse tiiwale zimene tinasemphanazo. Nanenso ndimayesetsa kutengera chitsanzo chawo. Kudzichepetsa ndiponso kupepesa kuchokera pansi pa mtima n’kothandiza kwambiri ngakhale kuti sikophweka.”—Anatero Lauren

[Bokosi patsamba 20]

 Mayankho

1. Mawu amwano amene ananena (“Mwayambapotu zanu zija”) anangokolezera mkwiyo wa mayi ake.

2. Zimene akuchita (kuyang’ana moderera) zikukwiyitsa mayi ake.

3. Zimene anawayankha (“Mukundinena ine, nanga inuyo?”) nthawi zonse amayambitsa mkangano.

[Chithunzi patsamba 19]

Kukangana ndi makolo kuli ngati kumangothamanga pamodzimodzi. Mumangowononga mphamvu zanu koma muli pamalo amodzimodzi