Mutu 11

Kodi Ndizivala Bwanji?

Heather akufuna azichoka pakhomo koma makolo ake akudabwa ndi mmene wavalira.

Bambo ake akumufunsa mokalipa kuti: “Wavalacho ndiye chiyani?”

Heather akuyankha modabwa kuti: “Bwanji? Sindikupitatu kutali, ndikungopita kumsika ndi anzanga.”

Mayi ake akumuuza kuti: “Iwe, bwerera ukavule zovala zimenezo.”

Heather akuyankha monyinyirika kuti: “Komatu ndi mmene aliyense akuvalira ndiye mukufuna kuti ineyo ndizioneka wotsalira?”

Bambo ake akuyankha mokalipa kuti: “Kaya ukutsalira kapena sukutsalira, zimenezo tilibe nazo ntchito. Kavule zovala zakozo pompano, apo ayi suchoka pakhomo pano.”

 M’MABANJA ambiri makolo ndi ana amakonda kukangana pa nkhani ya zovala. N’kutheka kuti makolo anu ali achinyamata ankakangana ndi makolo awo pa nkhani ya zovala. Mwina nawonso ankaona zinthu mmene inuyo mukuzionera panopo. Koma panopa anasintha ndipo n’chifukwa chake mumakonda kukangana pa nkhani ya zovala.

Inu mumati: Chovala ichi n’chabwino.

Iwo amati: N’chachikulu kwambiri.

Inu mumati: Chovala ichi n’chotchenera.

Iwo amati: N’chosapatsa ulemu.

Inu mumati: N’zotchipa.

Iwo amati: Chiyeneredi kutchipa, nanga chachifupi choncho?

Kodi pali chilichonse chomwe mungachite kuti muzigwirizana ndi makolo anu pa nkhani ya zovala? Inde zilipo. Mtsikana wina wazaka 23, dzina lake Megan, anafotokoza zimene mungachite. Iye anati: “N’zotheka kumagwirizana ngakhale pa nkhani imene mumasiyana maganizo.” Kodi zimenezi zikutanthauza kuti muzivala ngati nkhalamba? Ayi. Zikungotanthauza kuti inuyo muyenera kukambirana ndi makolo anu zimene mumasemphana pa nkhani ya zovala komanso kugwirizana mfundo zoti inuyo komanso makolo anuwo azisangalala nazo. Kodi kuchita zimenezi n’kothandiza bwanji?

1. Muzioneka bwino ngakhale mukakhala ndi anzanu.

2. Makolo anu sazikunenani chifukwa cha zimene mwavala.

3. Makolo anu akaona kuti mwayamba kuchita zinthu mwanzeru pa nkhani imeneyi, angakuwonjezereni ufulu woti muzichita zinthu zina panokha.

Ndiye tiyeni tione zimene mungachite kuti muyambe kugwirizana ndi makolo anu pa nkhani ya zovala. Tiyerekezere kuti mwaona chovala chinachake mushopu ndipo mukufunitsitsa kukachigula. Choyamba muyenera . . .

 Kuganizira Mfundo za m’Baibulo

N’zodabwitsa kuti Baibulo silinena zambiri pa nkhani ya zovala. Komabe mukhoza kuwerenga Malemba amene amanena za zovala pa nthawi yochepa kwambiri n’kupeza malangizo amphamvu ndiponso othandiza. Mwachitsanzo:

● Baibulo limalangiza akazi kuti azivala “mwaulemu ndi mwanzeru.” *​—1 Timoteyo 2:9, 10.

Kodi pamene akunena kuti muzivala “mwaulemu,” akutanthauza kuti musamatchene? Ayi. Akungotanthauza kuti muyenera kuvala modzilemekeza komanso muziganizira mmene anthu ena angakuonereni. (2 Akorinto 6:3) Ndipotu pali zovala zambiri zotchenera komanso zopatsa ulemu. Mtsikana wina wazaka 23, dzina lake Danielle, ananena kuti: “Zingaoneke zovuta koma n’zotheka kutchena mosapitirira malire.”

● Pa nkhani ya maonekedwe, Baibulo limanena kuti muziganizira kwambiri za “munthu wobisika wamumtima.”​—1 Petulo 3:4.

N’zoona kuti anthu ena akhoza kuchita nanu chidwi ngati mutavala motayirira, koma chofunika kwambiri ndi khalidwe lanu, chifukwa lingachititse anthu ena komanso anzanu kuti azikulemekezani. Ndipo zimenezi zingathandizenso anzanuwo kuzindikira kuti kuvala motayirira kulibe phindu lililonse. Mtsikana wina wazaka 16, dzina lake Brittany, ananena kuti: “Zimachititsa manyazi ukaona mmene akazi amavalira n’cholinga chofuna kukopa  amuna.” Mtsikana winanso, dzina lake Kay, anavomereza mfundo imeneyi. Pofotokoza zimene mtsikana wina yemwe anali mnzake ankachita, Kay anati: “Chilichonse chomwe ankavala chinkakhala ngati akunena kuti ‘ali ndi mtima anditsate.’ Ankangofuna kukopa amuna moti ankavala zovala zoti amunawo akangomuona azikopeka naye.”

Muzifunsa Maganizo a Makolo Anu

Achinyamata ena amaika m’chikwama chawo zovala zoti sangavale pamaso pa makolo awo ndipo amakasintha akafika kusukulu. Komatu zimenezi si nzeru. Makolo anu akhoza kumakukhulupirirani ngati mumamasuka nawo komanso kuchita zinthu moona mtima. Angamakukhulupirireninso mukamachita zinthu moona mtima ngakhale pa zinthu zimene mukuganiza kuti mungachite iwowo osadziwa. Ndipo mungachite bwino kufunsa maganizo a makolo anu pa nkhani ya zovala. (Miyambo 15:22)​—Gwiritsani ntchito bokosi lakuti, “Kasankhidwe ka Zovala” patsamba  82, kuti mudziwe maganizo a makolo anu pa nkhani ya zovala.

Mwina mungaganize kuti si bwino kufunsa maganizo a makolo anu chifukwa akhoza kukuletsani kuvala zovala zomwe mukuona kuti n’zotchenera. Komatu zimenezi si zoona. N’kuthekadi kuti makolo anu amaona zinthu mosiyana ndi inuyo, komabe nthawi zina zimenezi zimathandiza. Mtsikana wina wazaka 17, dzina lake Nataleine, anati: “Ndimayamikira malangizo amene makolo anga amandipatsa chifukwa sindifuna kukachita manyazi kumene ndikupita kapena kuti anthu azingondinena chifukwa cha mmene ndikuonekera.”

 Mfundo ina yofunika kuikumbukira ndi yakuti: Ngati mukukhalabe pakhomo pa makolo anu muyenera kutsatira malangizo awo. (Akolose 3:20) Ngati mutamvetsa maganizo awo komanso iwowo atakumvetsani, mungayambe kugwirizana ndipo zimenezi zingachititse kuti musamakangane pa nkhani ya zovala.

Mfundo Yothandiza: Mukamayesa zovala musamangoganiza mmene mukuonekera pa nthawiyo. Chovala chooneka ngati chabwino chikhoza kukuchotserani ulemu mukakhala pansi kapena mukawerama. Choncho ngati n’zotheka mungachite bwino kufunsa mmene makolo anu kapena munthu wina wachikulire akuchionera chovalacho.

M’MUTU WOTSATIRA

Kodi mungatani ngati mumadziderera?

[Mawu a M’munsi]

LEMBA

“Kudzikongoletsa kwanu kusakhale kwakunja, monga . . . kuvala malaya ovala pamwamba. Koma kukhale kwa munthu wobisika wamumtima.”​—1 Petulo 3:3, 4.

MFUNDO YOTHANDIZA

Muzivala mwaulemu ndipo muzipewa kuvala zovala zimene zingapangitse anthu ena kuganiza kuti mukufuna kukopa amuna komanso kuti mumadzigomera.

KODI MUKUDZIWA . . . ?

Anthu akaona munthu koyamba amatha kuganiza kuti ali ndi khalidwe linalake potengera zimene wavala.

ZOTI NDICHITE

Munthu amene ndikhoza kumufunsa maganizo pa nkhani ya zovala zimene ndikufuna kugula ndi ․․․․․

Ndikadzapitanso kukagula zovala ndidzatsatira mfundo izi: ․․․․․

Zimene ndikufuna kufunsa makolo anga pa nkhaniyi ․․․․․

KODI INUYO MUKUGANIZA BWANJI?

● N’chifukwa chiyani nthawi zambiri achinyamata amasemphana maganizo ndi makolo awo pa nkhani ya zovala?

● Kodi kukambirana ndi makolo anu nkhani zokhudza zovala kungakuthandizeni bwanji?

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 81]

“Ndikaona atsikana atavala motayirira, ndimasiya kuwalemekeza. Koma ndikaona atsikana atavala modzilemekeza, ndimadziuza kuti, ‘Ndimafuna kuti nanenso ndizioneka choncho.”​—Anatero Nataleine

 [Bokosi/​Chithunzi patsamba 82, 83]

Zoti Muchite

Kasankhidwe ka Zovala

Malangizo: Koperani masamba awiriwa. Inuyo muyankhe zimene zili kumanzere ndipo makolo anu ayankhe zimene zili kumanja. Mukamaliza musinthane mapepalawo n’kukambirana zimene mwayankhazo. Kodi mwayankha zosiyana? Kodi mwaona kuti mumasiyana pa zinthu ziti zomwe poyamba simunkazidziwa?

Mbali yanu Ganizirani chovala chinachake chomwe mukufuna kuvala kapena kugula.

N’chifukwa chiyani mwasankha chovala chimenechi? Ikani manambala pa zifukwa zimene zili m’munsizi. Polemba manambalawa muyambe ndi chifukwa chachikulu chomwe mwasankhira chovalachi.

․․․․․ Lebo yake

․․․․․ Kuti anyamata kapena atsikana azindigomera

․․․․․ Kuti anzanga asamandione ngati wotsalira

․․․․․ Sindingatope nacho msanga komanso ndikhoza kuchivala malo osiyanasiyana

․․․․․ Mtengo wake

․․․․․ Zina ․․․․․

Makolo anga atangomva kuti ndikufuna chovala chotere anganene kuti

□ “Ndisakuone utagula chovala cha mtundu umenewo.”

□ “Ukhoza kugula.”

□ “Palibe vuto.”

Ngati angakane, chifukwa chake chingakhale chakuti

□ “N’chachifupi, n’choonekera mkati kapena n’chothina kwambiri.”

□ “N’chachikulu kwambiri.”

□ “Ukungofuna kutengera za anzako.”

□ “Ukufuna uzitichititsa manyazi.”

□ “Ndi chodula kwambiri.”

□ Zina ․․․․․

Mukhoza  Kukambirana

Zimene makolo anga anena ndi zomveka chifukwa

․․․․․

Kodi n’zotheka kuchikonza chovalachi kapena kuvalira limodzi ndi chovala china kuti ndizitha kuvala ku gulu?

․․․․․

Mbali ya Makolo Anu Ganizirani chovala chinachake chimene mwana wanu akufuna kuvala kapena kugula.

Mukuganiza kuti n’chifukwa chiyani mwana wanu wasankha chovala chimenechi? Ikani manambala pa zifukwa zimene zili m’munsizi. Polemba manambalawa muyambe ndi chifukwa chachikulu chomwe mukuganiza kuti chachititsa mwana wanuyo kusankha chovala chimenechi.

․․․․․ Lebo yake

․․․․․ Kuti anyamata kapena atsikana azimugomera

․․․․․ Kuti anzake asamamuone ngati wotsalira

․․․․․ Sangatope nacho msanga komanso akhoza kuchivala malo osiyanasiyana

․․․․․ Mtengo wake

․․․․․ Zina ․․․․․

Nditangoona kuti mwana wanga akufuna chovala chotere ndinganene kuti

□ “Ndisakuone utagula chovala cha mtundu umenewo.”

□ “Ukhoza kugula.”

□ “Palibe vuto.”

Ngati ndingakane, chifukwa chake chingakhale chakuti

□ “N’chachifupi, n’choonekera mkati kapena n’chothina kwambiri.”

□ “N’chachikulu kwambiri.”

□ “Ukungofuna kutengera za anzako.”

□ “Ukufuna uzitichititsa manyazi.”

□ “Ndi chodula kwambiri.”

□ Zina ․․․․․

Mukhoza Kukambirana

Kodi chovalachi n’chabwinobwino koma tikungomuletsa chifukwa chakuti ifeyo sitikuchikonda?

□ Inde □ Mwina □ Ayi

Kodi n’zotheka kuchikonza chovalachi kapena kuvalira limodzi ndi chovala china kuti chikhale chotheka kuvala ku gulu?

․․․․․

Ndigule Kapena Ndisagule? ․․․․․

[Bokosi patsamba 84]

Kodi Mfundozi N’zothandizanso Kwa Anyamata?

Mfundo za m’Baibulo zomwe takambiranazi zingagwirenso ntchito kwa anyamata. Nanunso anyamata, muzivala mwaulemu. Zovala zanu zizisonyeza mmene umunthu wanu wamkati ulili. Mukamasankha chovala muzidzifunsa kuti: ‘Kodi nditavala zimenezi, anthu angaganize kuti ndili ndi khalidwe lotani? Kodi khalidwe limeneli ndi limenedi ndikufuna kuti ndizidziwika nalo?’ Muzikumbukira kuti zovala zimafotokoza khalidwe la munthu. Choncho zovala zanu zizisonyeza mfundo zimene mumatsatira pa moyo wanu.

[Chithunzi patsamba 80]

Zovala zanu zili ngati chikwangwani chomwe chimathandiza anthu kudziwa za khalidwe lanu. Kodi zovala zanu zimasonyeza kuti muli ndi khalidwe lotani?