Mutu 29

Kodi Ndingadziwe Bwanji Ngati Chilidi Chikondi Chenicheni?

Yankhani mafunso otsatirawa:

1. Kodi inuyo mungati chikondi n’chiyani? ․․․․․

2. Nanga kutengeka n’kutani? ․․․․․

3. Kodi inuyo mukuona kuti zinthu ziwirizi zikusiyana bwanji? ․․․․․

N’KUTHEKA kuti simunavutike kuyankha mafunso ali m’mwambawa. Ndipotu n’zophweka kuona kusiyana kwa chikondi ndi kutengeka ukakhala kuti iweyo sukufunana ndi aliyense.

Koma sizingakhale choncho ngati pali mnyamata kapena mtsikana amene mwakopeka naye. Nthawi yomweyo mutu wanu sumagwiranso moti palibe chimene mumachiona kuti n’chaphindu. Mumakhala kuti muli m’chikondi. Koma kodi chimenechi chimakhaladi chikondi chenicheni, kapena mumangokhala kuti mwatengeka maganizo? Kodi mungadziwe bwanji ngati chili chikondi chenicheni kapena  kungotengeka chabe? Kuti tipeze yankho, tiyeni tikambirane kaye kusiyana kumene kulipo pa mmene munkaonera anyamata kapena atsikana m’mbuyomu ndi mmene mumawaonera panopa. Mwachitsanzo, taonani mafunso otsatirawa:

● Kodi atsikana kapena anyamata munkawaona bwanji muli ndi zaka 5?

● Kodi mumawaona bwanji panopa?

N’kutheka kuti zimene mwayankha zasonyeza kuti pamene mukukula mwayamba kuchita chidwi kwambiri ndi anyamata kapena atsikana. Brian wazaka 12 anati: “Panopa ndikuona kuti atsikana akuoneka okongola kwambiri kuposa kale.” Elaine wazaka 16, amakumbukira mmene zinthu zinasinthira m’mbuyomu. Iye anati: “Atsikana onse amene ndinkacheza nawo anayamba kukambirana za anyamata ndipo sindinkachedwa kukopeka ndi anyamata.”

Popeza panopa mwayamba kuchita chidwi kwambiri ndi anyamata kapena atsikana, kodi muyenera kutani? M’malo mochita zinthu ngati kuti mulibe chidwi ndi anyamata kapena atsikana, zomwe zingachititse kuti muzivutika kwambiri ndi maganizo, mungachite bwino kugwiritsa ntchito mwayi umenewu kuphunzira za kusiyana kwa kukopeka, kutengeka ndiponso chikondi. Kudziwa bwino zinthu zimenezi kungakuthandizeni kuti musadzakumane ndi mavuto ambiri m’tsogolo komanso kuti mudzapeze munthu wa chikondi chenicheni.

KUKOPEKA → Zimene mumaona

“Ndikakhala ndi anzanga, nthawi zonse timakambirana za atsikana. Timayesetsa kuti tizikambirana nkhani zina koma pakangodutsa mtsikana wokongola nthawi yomweyo timaiwala zimene timakambirana.”​—Anatero Alex.

“Ndimakopeka ndi mnyamata amene amandiyang’ana ndikamalankhula naye, amamwetulira mosangalatsa komanso akakhala wopanda manyazi.”​—Anatero Laurie.

Mwachibadwa timakopeka ndi munthu wooneka bwino, kaya ndi mnyamata kapena mtsikana. Koma vuto ndi lakuti, maonekedwe amapusitsa. Baibulo limati: “Monga momwe chimakhalira chipini chagolide  pamphuno ya nkhumba, ndi mmenenso amakhalira mkazi wokongola koma wosaganiza bwino.” (Miyambo 11:22) Mfundo imeneyi ingagwirenso ntchito kwa anyamata.

KUTENGEKA → Mmene mumamvera

“Ndili ndi zaka 12 ndinaferatu mutu ndi mnyamata winawake koma zimenezi zitatha, ndinazindikira chifukwa chake ndinkamufuna kwambiri. Anzanga onse ankakonda kwambiri anyamata ndiye nditangokumana ndi uyuyu ndinakopeka naye. Panalibe chifukwa chilichonse chapadera.”​—Anatero Elaine.

“Ndakopekapo ndi atsikana ambiri koma nthawi zambiri ndimangokopeka nawo chifukwa cha maonekedwe awo. Kenako ndikangodziwa khalidwe lake ndinkazindikira kuti sangakhale mkazi wabwino ngati mmene ndimaganizira poyamba.”​—Anatero Mark.

Munthu akatengeka ndi winawake amamva ngati kuti amamukonda. Ndipotu n’zoona kuti ngati umamukonda munthu winawake umatengeka naye. Koma zimene zimapangitsa kuti munthu atengeke ndi mnzake n’zosiyana ndi zimene zimachititsa kuti ayambe kumukonda. Munthu amatengeka ndi wina chifukwa cha mmene winayo amaonekera. Komanso munthu akatengeka samaona mavuto amene winayo ali nawo, amangoona zabwino zokhazokha. Chifukwa cha zimenezi, kutengeka sikukhalitsa. Kuli ngati nyumba yomangidwa pamchenga. Mtsikana wina, dzina lake Fiona, ananena kuti: “Kutengeka sikukhalitsa. Lero ukhoza kukopeka ndi munthu wina koma pambuyo pa mwezi umodzi wokha ungapezeke kuti wakopekanso kwambiri ndi munthu wina.”

 CHIKONDI → Zimene mukudziwa

“Ndimaona kuti munthu amene alidi m’chikondi amakhala ndi chifukwa chokopekera ndi munthu winayo ndipo chifukwa chimenechi chimakhala chabwino osati kungofuna kusangalatsa mtima wake.”​—Anatero David.

“Ine ndimaona kuti anthu amayamba kukondana pambuyo poti adziwana. Poyamba amangocheza ngati munthu ndi mnzake ndipo m’kupita kwa nthawi amadziwana bwino. Kenako pang’ono ndi pang’ono anthuwo amayamba kukondana.”​—Anatero Judith.

Munthu amayamba kukonda munthu wina chifukwa chakuti wamudziwa bwino, akudziwa zimene amachita bwino komanso zofooka zake. N’chifukwa chake Baibulo likamafotokoza za chikondi limasonyeza kuti pali zambiri zofunika osati kungoganizira mmene munthu amamvera. Limanena kuti chikondi “n’choleza mtima ndiponso n’chokoma mtima. . . . Chimakwirira zinthu zonse, chimakhulupirira zinthu zonse, chimayembekezera zinthu zonse, chimapirira zinthu zonse. Chikondi sichitha.” (1 Akorinto 13:4, 7, 8) Chikondi n’chimene chimachititsa kuti munthu achite zimene zatchulidwa m’lembali chifukwa chakuti akumudziwa bwino munthuyo osati chifukwa chongokopeka naye.

Chitsanzo Cha Anthu Amene Anali Ndi Chikondi Chenicheni

M’Baibulo muli nkhani ya Yakobo ndi Rakele yomwe imasonyeza zimene anthu okondanadi amachita. Awiriwa anakumana ku chitsime pamene Rakele anapita kukamwetsa madzi nkhosa za bambo ake.  Yakobo anakopeka ndi Rakele atangomuona. N’chiyani chinachititsa kuti Yakobo akopeke? Chifukwa chimodzi chinali chakuti anali “wokoma thupi ndi wokongola.”​—Genesis 29:17, Buku Lopatulika Ndilo Mau a Mulungu.

Koma kumbukirani kuti chikondi chenicheni sichimadalira maonekedwe a munthu. Yakobo anapeza kuti Rakele analinso ndi makhalidwe abwino. Ndipotu Baibulo limanena kuti pasanapite nthawi kukopeka kumene Yakobo anali nako kunasintha ndipo anayamba ‘kumukonda Rakele.’​—Genesis 29:18.

Komatu amenewa sanali mapeto a nkhaniyi. Bambo ake a Rakele anachititsa kuti Yakobo adikire zaka 7 asanakwatire Rakele. Kaya zimene bambo a Rakele anachitazo zinali zachilungamo kapena ayi, chikondi chimene Yakobo anali nacho sichinasinthe. Akanakhala kuti anangotengeka chabe, Yakobo sakanadikira nthawi yonseyi. Munthu amene ali ndi chikondi chenicheni ndi amene angadikire kwa nthawi yaitali chonchi. Ndiye kodi zinatha bwanji? Baibulo limanena kuti: “Yakobo anagwira ntchito zaka 7 kuti atenge Rakele. Koma iye anangoziona zakazo ngati masiku ochepa chabe, chifukwa anam’konda kwambiri mtsikanayo.”​—Genesis 29:20.

Kodi mukuphunzirapo chiyani pa nkhani ya Yakobo ndi Rakele? Tikuphunzirapo kuti chikondi chenicheni chimakhalabe cholimba  ngakhale patadutsa nthawi yaitali. Komanso sichimatengera maonekedwe a munthu. Ndipotu nthawi zina, munthu woyenera kumanga naye banja amakhala woti poyamba simunkakopeka naye. Mwachitsanzo, Barbara anakumana ndi mnyamata wina yemwe akuti poyamba sanakopeke naye kwenikweni. Iye anati: “Koma zinthu zinasintha nditayamba kumudziwa bwino. Ndinaona kuti Stephen ankadera nkhawa kwambiri anthu ena komanso nthawi zonse ankaika zofuna za anthu ena patsogolo pa zofuna zake. Ndinkadziwa kuti munthu wa makhalidwe amenewa angakhale mwamuna wabwino. Ndinayamba kuchita naye chidwi ndipo kenako ndinayamba kumukonda.” Barbara ndi Stephen anakwatirana ndipo banja lawo likuyenda bwino.

Ngati ndinu wamkulu ndithu moti mukhoza kukhala ndi chibwenzi n’cholinga choti mudzakwatirane m’tsogolo, kodi mungadziwe bwanji ngati mumakondanadi zenizeni? Zikhoza kutheka kuti mtima wanu wakopeka kwambiri koma ndi bwino kutsatira zimene Baibulo limanena. Yesetsani kudziwa makhalidwe a mnzanuyo osangokhutira ndi maonekedwe ake. Khalani pa chibwenzi kwa nthawi yokwanira kuti chikondi chanu chikule. Kumbukirani kuti nthawi zambiri kutengeka sikuchedwa kutha. Koma chikondi chenicheni chimapitirizabe kukula ndipo kenako “chimagwirizanitsa anthu mwamphamvu kwambiri kuposa chinthu china chilichonse.”​—Akolose 3:14.

Musakayikire zoti mudzapeza munthu amene mudzakondane naye zenizeni ngati mutayesetsa kupewa kumangoganizira maonekedwe a munthuyo kapena mmene mukumvera. Mfundo zimene zili m’masamba atatu otsatirawa zingakuthandizeni kuchita zimenezi.

KUTI MUMVE ZAMBIRI PA NKHANIYI WERENGANI MUTU 1 NDI 3, M’BUKU LACHIWIRI

M’MUTU WOTSATIRA

Tiyerekeze kuti mwayambadi kukondana zenizeni ndi munthu winawake. Kodi mungadziwe bwanji kuti ndinu wokonzeka kulowa m’banja?

LEMBA

“Madzi ambiri sangathe kuzimitsa chikondi, ndipo mitsinje singachikokolole.”​—Nyimbo ya Solomo 8:7.

MFUNDO YOTHANDIZA

Kuti muone ngati mukumudziwadi bwino munthu amene mwakopeka naye, yankhani mafunso omwe ali patsamba 39 (atsikana) ndi tsamba 40 (anyamata).

KODI MUKUDZIWA . . . ?

Achinyamata amene amakonda kuthetsa zibwenzi popanda zifukwa akadzakwatira mabanja awo sachedwanso kutha.

ZOTI NDICHITE

Ndizichita zotsatirazi kuti ndizidziwa ngati ndi chikondi chenicheni kapena kungotengeka chabe: ․․․․․

Zimene ndikufuna kufunsa makolo anga pa nkhaniyi ․․․․․

KODI INUYO MUKUGANIZA BWANJI?

● N’chifukwa chiyani Mulungu analenga amuna m’njira yoti azifuna akazi, ndiponso akazi azifuna amuna?

● N’chifukwa chiyani zibwenzi zambiri zimene achinyamata ang’onoang’ono amachita sizimachedwa kutha?

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 207]

“Chikondi chimakhalapobe ngakhale mukumane ndi mavuto koma kutengeka kumatha zinthu zikangosintha kapena mukakumana ndi mavuto. Ndipotu pamapita nthawi yaitali kuti mukhale ndi chikondi chenicheni.”​—Anatero Daniella

 [Bokosi patsamba 209]

Zoti Muchite

Kodi Mukanakhala Inuyo Mukanatani?

Michael ndi Judy akhala ali pa chibwenzi kwa miyezi itatu ndipo Judy akuona kuti alidi m’chikondi. Nayenso Michael amamukonda Judy kwambiri ndipo nthawi zina amafika mpaka pomuuza zinthu zoyenera kuvala komanso anthu oyenera kucheza nawo. Wakhala akumuona kuti ndi wofunika kwambiri m’moyo wake. Koma mlungu watha Michael anamuwaza Judy mbama atamupeza akucheza ndi mnyamata wina.

Michael anati: “Judy akufunika adziwe kuti sindimafuna ngakhale pang’ono kuti tidzasiyane. Ndipotu mnyamata wina atangoyerekeza kundilanda ndikhoza kupenga. Ndikudandaula kuti ndamumenya. Koma ndachita zimenezi chifukwa sindifuna kumuona ngakhale akungoyang’ana mnyamata wina. Komabe ndamupepesa.”

Judy anati: “Makolo anga anandiuza kuti Michael amayendera mfundo zabwino pa moyo wake, kungoti amakhwimitsa zinthu kwambiri. Ndipotu sanayambe wandinyengererapo kuti tigonane. Komanso pamene amandimenyapo n’kuti ndikulankhuladi ndi mnyamata wina, moti sindinawauze makolo anga zoti wandimenya. Ndipo nthawi zina zimandisangalatsa akamachita nsanje akandipeza ndikucheza ndi ena. Koma wandipepesa ndipo wandilonjeza kuti sadzandimenyanso.”

Mbali yanu: Tchulani zizindikiro zomwe mwaona zosonyeza kuti anthuwa atakwatirana banja lawo silingadzayende bwino. ․․․․․

Kodi Judy ayenera kuchita chiyani? ․․․․․

Kodi mukanakhala inuyo mukanatani? ․․․․․

 [Bokosi patsamba 210]

Zoti Muchite

Kodi Mukanakhala Inuyo Mukanatani?

Ethan wakhala ali pa chibwenzi ndi Alyssa kwa miyezi iwiri ndipo waona kale kuti nthawi zambiri Alyssa amakonda kukangana ndi anthu, makamaka ndi makolo ake. Ndipo nthawi zambiri makolo ake amangomuchitira zimene akufuna. Anafika pozolowera kuti amangokakamira zimene akufuna mpaka makolo akewo am’patse zimene akufunazo. Nthawi ina Alyssa anauzapo Ethan mwamatama kuti makolo ake amayendera nzeru zake.

Ethan anati: “Alyssa sapsatira mawu, samvera zimene anthu ena akumuuza kuphatikizapo makolo ake. Bambo ake amachita zinthu zotopetsa ndipo mpake kuti Alyssa sachedwa kuwakwiyira. Alyssa akakwiya amalalata, amalira koma ngati akufuna chinachake amachita zinthu ngati munthu wabwino. Amachita chilichonse chomwe angathe kuti makolo ake amuchitire zimene akufuna.”

Alyssa anati: “Ndilibe nazo kuti kaya munthuyo ndi ndani kaya ali ndi udindo wanji, ndimangolankhula mosapita m’mbali ndipo sindinyengerera munthu. Ngakhale Ethan amandidziwanso bwino. Amaonanso zimene ndimachita ndi makolo anga.”

Mbali yanu: Tchulani zizindikiro zomwe mwaona zosonyeza kuti anthuwa atakwatirana banja lawo silingadzayende bwino. ․․․․․

Kodi Ethan ayenera kuchita chiyani? ․․․․․

Kodi mukanakhala inuyo mukanatani? ․․․․․

 [Bokosi patsamba 211]

Zoti Muchite

Kodi Ndi Chikondi Chenicheni Kapena Kungotengeka?

M’munsimu mwalembedwa mawu amene achinyamata ena ananena. Pa mawu amene adulidwa mzerewo, sankhani mawu amene akugwirizana ndi chiganizocho. Mungasankhe “a” kapena “b.”

1. “Munthu amene (a)wangotengeka (b)ali ndi chikondi chenicheni samaona mavuto amene mnzakeyo ali nawo. Zoti munthuyo ndi wotani kwenikweni alibe nazo ntchito.”​—Calvin.

2. “Ngati ndimayesetsa kusintha khalidwe langa ndikakhala ndi mtsikana amene ndikumufuna ndiye kuti (a)ndangotengeka (b)ndili ndi chikondi chenicheni.”​—Thomas.

3. “Zikhoza kutheka kuti waona chinachake chimene sichikukusangalatsa mwa munthuyo. Koma ngati (a)wangotengeka (b)uli ndi chikondi chenicheni, ungapitirizebe chibwenzi ndi munthuyo ndipo mungathandizane kuthetsa vutolo.”​—Ryan.

4. “Ukakhala kuti (a)wangotengeka (b)uli ndi chikondi chenicheni, umangoganizira zinthu zokhazo zimene mumafanana.”​—Claudia.

5. “Ukakhala kuti (a)wangotengeka (b)uli ndi chikondi chenicheni, subisa khalidwe lako kapena zimene umachita.”​—Eve.

6. “Munthu amene (a)wangotengeka (b)ali ndi chikondi chenicheni amakhala ndi chibwenzi pongofuna kuti anzake azimupatsa ulemu.”​—Allison.

7. “Munthu amene (a)wangotengeka (b)ali ndi chikondi chenicheni amazindikira mavuto amene munthu winayo ali nawo koma amakhala wokonzeka kuwapirira.”​—April.

8. “Ngati (a)wangotengeka (b)uli ndi chikondi chenicheni, umakopeka ndi munthu popanda chifukwa chenicheni.”​—David.

9. “Ukakhala kuti (a)wangotengeka (b)uli ndi chikondi chenicheni, sumaona kuti mnzakoyo walakwitsa.”​—Chelsea.

10. “Ukakhala kuti (a)wangotengeka (b)uli ndi chikondi chenicheni, umasintha mmene unkachitira zinthu ndi anyamata kapena atsikana chifukwa umafuna kukhala wokhulupirika kwa mnzakoyo.”​—Daniel.

Mayankho: (a): 1, 2, 4, 6, 8, 9. (b): 3, 5, 7, 10.

[Chithunzi patsamba 206, 207]

Kutengeka sikukhalitsa. Kuli ngati nyumba yomangidwa pamchenga yomwe siingachedwe kukokoloka