Kupepesa​—Njira Yothandiza Yopezera Mtendere

“MAWU opepesa n’ngamphamvu kwambiri. Amathetsa mikangano popanda kuchita chiwawa, amathetsa magawano pakati pa mayiko, amathandiza maboma kuvomereza kuti nzika zawo zikuvutika, ndiponso amagwirizanitsanso anthu.” Analemba motero Deborah Tannen, wolemba mabuku wotchuka kwambiri ndiponso katswiri wa zachinenero ndi chikhalidwe cha anthu pa yunivesite ya Georgetown ku Washington, D.C.

Baibulo limavomereza kuti nthaŵi zambiri kupepesa kochokera pansi pa mtima kumathandiza kukhazikitsanso ubale umene wasokonezeka. Mwachitsanzo, m’fanizo la Yesu la mwana woloŵerera, mwanayo atabwerera kunyumba ndi kupepesa mochokera pansi pa mtima, atate ake anam’lola mosavuta kuti abwerere m’nyumba mwawo. (Luka 15:17-24) Inde, kunyada kwambiri kusamalepheretse munthu kusiya kunyadako, n’kupepesa, ndi kupempha kuti akhululukidwe. N’zoona kuti anthu odzichepetsa savutika kwenikweni kuti apepese.

Mphamvu ya Kupepesa

Abigayeli, mkazi wanzeru wa mu Israyeli wakale, anachita zinthu zomwe ndi chitsanzo chosonyeza mphamvu ya kupepesa, ngakhale kuti anapepesa chifukwa cha zolakwa za mwamuna wake. Pamene ankakhala m’chipululu, Davide, yemwe pambuyo pake anadzakhala mfumu ya Israyeli, pamodzi ndi anyamata ake anateteza nkhosa za Nabala, mwamuna wa Abigayeli. Ngakhale kuti anachita zimenezo, anyamata a Davide atapempha mkate ndi madzi, Nabala anawanyoza, ndi kuwabweza chimanjamanja. Atapsa mtima, Davide anatsogolera amuna 400 kupita kukathana ndi Nabala pamodzi ndi banja lake. Atamva zimene mwamuna wake anachita, Abigayeli ananyamuka kukakumana ndi Davide. Mkaziyu ataona Davide, iye anagwada pa mapazi  ake. Ndiyeno anati: “Pa ine, mbuye wanga, pa ine pakhale uchimowo; ndipo mulole mdzakazi wanu alankhule m’makutu anu, nimumvere mawu a mdzakazi wanu.” Kenako Abigayeli anafotokoza mmene zinthu zinalili ndipo anapatsa Davide mphatso ya zakudya ndi zakumwa. Zitatero, Davide anati: “Ukwere kwanu mumtendere; ona, ndamvera mawu ako, ndavomereza nkhope yako.”​—1 Samueli 25:2-35.

Kudzichepetsa kwa Abigayeli ndiponso kupepesa kwake chifukwa cha khalidwe loipa la mwamuna wake zinapulumutsa banja lake. Ndipo Davide anam’thokoza chifukwa chom’pulumutsa kuti asakhetse mwazi. Ngakhale kuti si Abigayeli amene anachitira Davide ndi anyamata ake zinthu zoipa, iye anavomera kuti banja lake lalakwa ndipo anakhazikitsa mtendere ndi Davide.

Chitsanzo cha munthu wina amene anadziŵa nthaŵi yofunika kupepesa ndiye mtumwi Paulo. Panthaŵi ina yake, iye anafunika kukadzitchinjiriza pamaso pa bwalo lalikulu la milandu la Ayuda la Sanihedirini. Atapsa mtima ndi mawu achilungamo a Paulo, Hananiya, mkulu wa ansembe analamula anthu oimirira pafupi ndi Paulo kuti am’menye pakamwa. Atanena zimenezi, Paulo anamuuza kuti: “Mulungu adzakupanda iwe, khoma loyeretsedwa iwe; ndipo kodi ukhala iwe wakundiweruza mlandu monga mwa chilamulo, ndipo ulamulira andipande ine posanga chilamulo?” Anthu omverera mlanduwo atadzudzula Paulo chifukwa chonyoza mkulu wa ansembeyo, mtumwiyo anavomera mwamsanga kuti walakwa. Anati: “Sindinadziŵa, abale, kuti ndiye mkulu wa ansembe; pakuti kwalembedwa, Usamnenera choipa mkulu wa anthu ako.”​—Machitidwe 23:1-5.

Zimene Paulo anali atanena, kuti munthu amene waikidwa kukhala woweruza sayenera kuchita zachiwawa, zinali zoona. Komabe, anapepesa chifukwa chakuti mosadziŵa analankhula mokhala ngati monyoza kwa mkulu wa ansembe. * Kupepesa kwa Paulo kunapangitsa kuti Sanihedirini imvetsere mawu ake. Chifukwa choti Paulo ankadziŵa za mkangano womwe unalipo pakati pa mamembala a bwalolo, iye anawauza kuti akuimbidwa mlandu chifukwa chokhulupirira kuti akufa adzauka. Zimenezi zinautsa magawano aakulu, moti Afarisi anakhala ku mbali ya Paulo.​—Machitidwe 23:6-10.

Kodi tingaphunzirenji m’zitsanzo ziŵiri za m’Baibulozi? M’nkhani zonsezi, mawu a pansi pamtima osonyeza kudzimvera chisoni anathandiza kuti pakhale kulankhulana. Motero mawu opepesa angatithandize kukhazikitsa mtendere. Inde, kuvomereza zolakwa zathu ndiponso kupepesa chifukwa cha zimene zawonongeka zingatsegule mwayi wokambirana zinthu zothandiza kwambiri.

‘Komatu Palibe Chomwe Ndalakwa’

Tikaona kuti wina wakhumudwa ndi zimene tanena kapena kuchita, mwina tingaganize kuti munthuyo akungokulitsa nkhani kapena ndi wa mtima wapachala. Komatu Yesu Kristu analangiza ophunzira ake kuti: “Chifukwa chake ngati ulikupereka mtulo wako pa guwa la  nsembe, ndipo pomwepo ukakumbukira kuti mbale wako ali ndi kanthu pa iwe, usiye pomwepo mtulo wako kuguwako, nuchoke, nuyambe kuyanjana ndi mbale wako, ndipo pamenepo idza nupereke mtulo wako.”​—Mateyu 5:23, 24.

Mwachitsanzo, mbale angaganize kuti mwamulakwira. Zikatero, Yesu ananena kuti inuyo mupite ndi ‘kuyanjana ndi mbale wanu,’ kaya mukuona kuti mwamulakwira kapena ayi. Malinga ndi nkhaniyo m’Chigiriki, mawu omwe Yesu anagwiritsa ntchito m’vesili amatanthauza ‘kugwirizana pambuyo poti nonse munadana.’ (Vine’s Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words) Inde, anthu aŵiri akasemphana maganizo, n’kutheka kuti onse aŵiriwo alakwitsa penapake, popeza onsewo ndi opanda ungwiro ndipo amalakwa. Zimenezi nthaŵi zina zimafuna kuti onse aŵiriwo agwirizane.

Nkhani yagona pakuti ndani amene ayambirire kuyesayesa kukhazikitsa mtendere, osati kwenikweni kuti wolondola ndani nanga wolakwa ndani. Mtumwi Paulo atazindikira kuti Akristu a ku Korinto ankatengera atumiki a Mulungu anzawo ku makhoti a dziko akasiyana maganizo pankhani monga za ndalama, iye anawalangiza kuti: “Chifukwa ninji simusankhula kulola kuipsidwa? Simusankhula chifukwa ninji kulola kunyengedwa?” (1 Akorinto 6:7) Ngakhale kuti Paulo ananena izi polimbikitsa Akristu anzake kuti asamafalitse kusiyana maganizo kwawo m’makhoti a dziko, mfundo yake ndi yoonekeratu: Kukhala pamtendere ndi okhulupirira anzathu n’kofunika kwambiri kuposa kupeza kuti wolondola ndani nanga wolakwa ndani. Kukhala ndi mfundo imeneyi m’maganizo kumapangitsa kuti kusakhale kovuta kupepesa pa chinthu chomwe winawake akuganiza kuti tamulakwira.

Kunena Zochokera Pansi pa Mtima N’kofunika

Komabe, anthu ena amangotchula paliponse mawu osonyeza kupepesa. Mwachitsanzo, ku Japan, mawu akuti sumimasen amene amagwiritsidwa ntchito popepesa, anthu amawagwiritsira ntchito kwambiri. Angathe kugwiritsidwa ntchito poyamikira, kusonyeza kudandaula chifukwa cholephera kubwezera zabwino zimene munthu wachitiridwa. Chifukwa chakuti amagwiritsidwa ntchito mwanjira zosiyanasiyana, ena angaganize kuti mawu ameneŵa amagwiritsidwa ntchito mopitirira muyeso ndipo angakayikire ngati anthu amene akutchula mawuŵa akunenadi za pansi pa mtima. M’zinenero zina zingaonekenso kuti mawu osiyanasiyana opepesera akungogwiritsidwa ntchito paliponse.

M’chinenero chilichonse, m’pofunika kunena zochoka pansi pa mtima munthu ukamapepesa. Mawu omwe ukugwiritsira ntchito ndiponso mmene mawuwo akumvekera ziyenera kusonyeza kuti munthuŵe ulidi ndi chisoni. Yesu Kristu anaphunzitsa ophunzira ake mu Ulaliki wa pa Phiri kuti: “Manenedwe anu akhale, Inde, inde; Iyayi, iyayi; ndipo chowonjezedwa pa izo chichokera kwa woipayo.” (Mateyu 5:37) Mukapepesa, mukhaledi mukutanthauza zimenezo! Mwachitsanzo: Mwamuna wina ataima pamzera woonetsa matikiti pa bwalo la ndege anapepesa chikwama chake chitakankha mayi wina yemwe anali pambuyo pake. Patapita kanthaŵi pang’ono, mzerawo utasuntha, chikwamacho chinakankhanso mayi uja. Mwamunayo anapepesanso mwaulemu. Zimenezi zitachitikanso, mkulu wina yemwe anali ndi mayi uja anauza mwamunayo kuti ngati akunenadi zoona, aonetsetse kuti chikwamacho chisakankhenso mayiyo. Inde, munthu akapepesa mochokera pansi pa mtima afunika kuonetsetsa kuti asabwerezenso zimene walakwitsazo.

Ngati tikunena zochoka pansi pa mtima, kupepesa kwathu kudzaphatikizapo kuvomera cholakwa chilichonse, kupempha kutikhululukira, ndiponso kuyesetsa kukonza zimene zawonongeka ngati n’kotheka. Nayenso wolakwiridwayo ayenera kum’khululukira mosanyinyirika munthu wolakwa amene walapayo. (Mateyu 18:21, 22; Marko 11:25; Aefeso 4:32; Akolose 3:13) Popeza onsewo ndi opanda ungwiro, nthaŵi zina kukhazikitsa mtendere sikungayende bwinobwino. Komabe, mawu opepesa amathandiza kwambiri kukhazikitsa mtendere.

Pamene Sipafunika Kupepesa

Ngakhale kuti mawu osonyeza kudzimvera chisoni ndiponso kupepesa amaziziritsa mitima  ndipo amalimbikitsa mtendere, munthu wanzeru sanena mawu oterowo pamene sipakuyenera kutero. Mwachitsanzo, tinene kuti nkhani yake ndi yokhudza kukhala wokhulupirika kwa Mulungu. Yesu Kristu ali padziko lapansi, “anadzichepetsa yekha, nakhala womvera kufikira imfa, ndiyo imfa ya pamtanda.” (Afilipi 2:8) Komabe, iye sanapepese chifukwa cha zomwe ankakhulupirira pofuna kuthetsa mavuto ake. Ndipo Yesu sanapepese mkulu wa ansembe atam’lamula kuti: “Ndikulumbiritsa Iwe pa Mulungu wamoyo, kuti utiuze ife ngati Iwe ndiwe Kristu, Mwana wa Mulungu.” M’malo mopepesa mwamantha, Yesu anayankha molimba mtima kuti: “Mwatero, koma ndinenanso kwa inu, Kuyambira tsopano mudzaona Mwana wa munthu ali kukhala kudzanja lamanja la mphamvu, ndi kufika pamitambo yakumwamba.” (Mateyu 26:63, 64) Yesu sanaganizepo n’komwe zoti apangane za mtendere ndi mkulu wa ansembe, n’kukhala wosakhulupirika kwa Atate wake, Yehova Mulungu.

Akristu amalemekeza anthu olamulira. Komabe, palibe chifukwa choti apepesere chifukwa chomvera Mulungu ndiponso chifukwa chokonda abale awo.​—Mateyu 28:19, 20; Aroma 13:5-7.

Palibe Zinthu Zolepheretsa Mtendere

Lerolino, timalakwa chifukwa cha uchimo umene timabadwa nawo wochokera kwa kholo lathu Adamu. (Aroma 5:12; 1 Yohane 1:10) Adamu anakhala wochimwa chifukwa chopandukira Mlengi. Koma poyambirirapo, Adamu ndi Hava anali angwiro ndi opanda uchimo, ndipo Mulungu walonjeza kudzabwezeretsanso anthu kuti akhale angwiro. Adzachotsa uchimo ndi zonse zimene zimachitika chifukwa cha uchimowo.​—1 Akorinto 15:56, 57.

Tangoganizani tanthauzo la zimenezi! M’malangizo ake okhudza kugwiritsa ntchito lilime, Yakobo, mbale wake wa Yesu, anati: “Munthu akapanda kukhumudwa pa mawu, iye ndiye munthu wangwiro, wokhoza kumanganso thupi lonse.” (Yakobo 3:2) Munthu wangwiro angathe kulamulira lilime lake moti sangafunike kupepesa chifukwa choligwiritsa ntchito molakwika. Iye ndi ‘wokhoza kumanga thupi lake lonse.’ Zidzakhalatu zosangalatsa kwambiri tikadzakhala angwiro! Panthaŵiyo sipadzakhalanso zinthu zolepheretsa mtendere pakati pa anthu. Komabe pakali pano, kupepesa mochoka pansi pa mtima ndiponso pamene kuli koyenera chifukwa cha zinthu zomwe taphonyetsa kudzatithandiza kwambiri kukhazikitsa mtendere.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 5]

Kodi tingaphunzirenji pa chitsanzo cha Paulo?

[Chithunzi patsamba 7]

Aliyense akadzakhala wangwiro, sipadzakhala zinthu zolepheretsa mtendere