Zimene Mungachite Kuti Muthandize Mnzanu Amene Akudwala

KODI nthawi ina munasowapo chomuuza mnzanu amene akudwala kwambiri? Dziwani kuti n’zotheka kuthana ndi vutoli. Kodi mungachite bwanji zimenezi? Palibe malamulo enieni ofunika kutsatira pankhaniyi chifukwa nthawi zina zimadalira chikhalidwe cha kwanuko. Ndiponso anthu amasiyana kwambiri. Choncho zimene zingalimbikitse wodwala wina si zimene zingalimbikitse wodwala wina. Komanso wodwala amasinthasintha ndipo zimene mungafunike kumuuza tsiku lina sizingakhale zimene mungafunike kumuuza tsiku lina.

Chinthu chofunika kwambiri chimene mungachite ndi kudzitenga kuti mukudwala ndi inuyo. Zimenezi zingakuthandizeni kudziwa zimene akufuna kuti mumuchitire. Kodi mungachite bwanji zimenezi? Onani mfundo zingapo za m’Baibulo zotsatirazi.

Muzimvetsera akamalankhula

MFUNDO ZA M’BAIBULO ZIMENE MUNGATSATIRE:

“Munthu aliyense akhale wofulumira kumva, wodekha polankhula.”​—YAKOBE 1:19.

‘Pali . . . mphindi yakutonthola ndi mphindi yakulankhula.’​—MLALIKI 3:1, 7.

▪ Pocheza ndi mnzanu amene akudwala, muzimumvetsera akamalankhula komanso muzimumvera chisoni. Musafulumire kumulangiza ndipo sikuti nthawi zonse muyenera kumuuza njira yothetsera vuto linalake. Kulankhula kwa ndithendithe kungakuchititseni kuti mwangozi munene mawu ena ake amene angamukhumudwitse. Chimene mnzanuyo akufuna kwenikweni si mayankho a mafunso amene akufunsawo, koma munthu amene angamumvetsere ndi mtima wake wonse.

Muloleni mnzanuyo kuti azilankhula momasuka. Akamalankhula musamamudule mawu kapena kumuuza zinthu zimene anthu ambiri amakonda kuuza odwala. Kuchita zimenezo kumakhala ngati kupeputsa vuto lake. Bambo wina, dzina lake Emílio, * ananena kuti: “Ndinadwala matenda  oumitsa khosi amenenso anandichititsa khungu. Nthawi zina ndimakhala wokhumudwa kwambiri chifukwa cha zimenezi ndipo anzanga ena pondilimbikitsa amandiuza kuti: ‘Si iwe wekha amene ukudwala. Pali anthu ambiri amene ali ndi mavuto aakulu kuposa akowa.’ Anzangawa sadziwa kuti kuchepetsa vuto langa sikumandithandiza m’pang’ono pomwe koma kumangondikhumudwitsa.”

Muloleni mnzanu wodwala kulankhula zakukhosi kwake popanda kumunena. Akakuuzani kuti akuchita mantha, muuzeni kuti mukumvetsa, m’malo momuuza kuti asaope. Mayi wina, dzina lake Eliana, amene akudwala matenda a khansa ananena kuti: “Ndikakhumudwa kwambiri chifukwa cha matenda anga n’kuyamba kulira, sizitanthauza kuti ndasiya kukhulupirira Mulungu.” Choncho, muyenera kumuona mnzanuyo mmene alili, osati mmene inuyo mukufunira. Kumbukirani kuti chifukwa cha kudwala, akhoza kumakhumudwakhumudwa koma sikuti iye amakhala choncho nthawi zonse. Khalani woleza mtima. Muzimvetsera ngakhale atamakuuzani zomwezomwezo nthawi zonse. (1 Mafumu 19:9, 10, 13, 14) Mwina iye akungofuna kuuzako munthu wina zimene zili mumtima mwake.

Muzimumvera chisoni komanso muzichita zinthu momuganizira

MFUNDO ZA M’BAIBULO ZIMENE MUNGATSATIRE:

“Sangalalani ndi anthu amene akusangalala; lirani ndi anthu amene akulira.”​—AROMA 12:15.

“Zinthu zonse zimene mukufuna kuti anthu akuchitireni, inunso muwachitire zimenezo.”​—MATEYO 7:12.

▪ Dzitengeni kuti mukudwala ndi inuyo. Ngati wodwalayo akukonzekera kukachitidwa opaleshoni, kulandira mankhwala kapena akudikirira kumva zotsatira, angakhale ndi mantha ndiponso angamakwiye msanga. Yesetsani kuzindikira zimenezi ndipo muzichita zinthu mogwirizana ndi mmene alili. Musamufunse mafunso ambiri makamaka osakukhudzani.

Dokotala wina, dzina lake Ana Katalifós, ananena kuti: “Wodwala muzim’patsa mpata woti akuuzeni zimene akufuna zokhudza matenda ake komanso panthawi imene akufuna. Ngati akufuna kucheza, chezani naye nkhani zimene akufuna. Koma ngati sakufuna zolankhula, ndi bwino kungokhala chete. Nthawi zina kungomugwira dzanja kungathandize kwambiri. Komanso nthawi zina amangofuna mnzake womuthandiza kulira basi.”

Musamauze ena za matenda a wodwalayo, zimene iye amaona kuti n’zachinsinsi. Mayi wina amene amalemba mabuku, dzina lake Rosanne Kalick, yemwe anadwalapo matenda a khansa kawiri konse, analemba kuti: “Zimene akukuuzani muziziona kuti n’zachinsinsi. Musauze aliyense zinthu zokhudza matenda akewo pokhapokha ngati achibale ake akupatsani udindo wolankhula m’malo mwa banjalo. Mufunseni ngati sangadandaule mutauza munthu wina za matenda akewo.” Edson, amene anadwalapo khansa, anati: “Mnzanga winawake anafalitsa nkhani yakuti ndinali ndi khansa ndiponso kuti sindikhala ndi moyo nthawi yaitali. Ndinkadziwa kuti ndili ndi khansa, koma panthawiyi n’kuti atangondipanga kumene opaleshoni ndipo ndinkadikira kuchipatala kuti andiuze zotsatira zake. Khansayo inali isanafalikire, koma nkhani imene mnzangayo anafalitsa inali itandiwonongera kale mbiri. Mkazi wanga anakhumudwa kwabasi chifukwa cha zimene anthu ena ankalankhula komanso kufunsa.”

Ngati mnzanu wodwala akufufuza chithandizo, musafulumire kunena zimene inuyo mungachite mukanakhala kuti mukudwala ndinu. Wolemba mabuku wina, dzina lake Lori Hope, amenenso anadwalapo matenda a khansa, anati: “Musanatumizire munthu wodwala khansa kapena amene wachira matendawa nkhani iliyonse imene mwafufuza yokhudza matendawa, ndi bwino kumufunsa kaye ngati akufuna kuwerenga nkhani yoteroyo. Zimenezi ndi zofunika chifukwa ngati simusamala mungamukhudwitse mnzanuyo mosadziwa.” Si anthu onse amene amafuna kuti azilandira nkhani zambirimbiri zokhudza chithandizo chamankhwala.

Ngakhale wodwalayo atakhala mnzanu kwambiri, musakhale nthawi yaitali kwambiri mukapita kukamuona. N’zoona kuti mwachita bwino kupita kukamuona, koma mwina mnzanuyo sangafune kucheza nanu nthawi yaitali. Mwina angakhale atatopa kwambiri moti sangakhale ndi mphamvu zocheza nanu nthawi yaitali. Komanso pewani kuchita zinthu zosonyeza kuti mwafulumira kwambiri. Zili choncho chifukwa mnzanuyo amafuna kuona kuti mumamukonda.

Kuchita zinthu moganizira ena kumafuna kuti  tisachite zinthu monyanyira koma tizichita zinthu moganiza bwino. Mwachitsanzo, musanamuphikire chakudya mnzanu amene akudwala, ndi bwino kumufunsa zimene angakonde. Ngati inuyo mukudwala matenda monga chimfine, ndi bwino kudikira kuti muchire kaye musanapite kukaona mnzanu wodwala.

Muzimulimbikitsa

MFUNDO ZA M’BAIBULO ZIMENE MUNGATSATIRE:

“Lilime la anzeru lilamitsa.”​—MIYAMBO 12:18.

“Nthawi zonse mawu anu azikhala achisomo, okoleretsa ndi mchere.”​—AKOLOSE 4:6.

▪ Ngati mnzanu wodwalayo mumamukondabe, mawu ndi zochita zanu zidzasonyeza zimenezi. Muoneni mnzanuyo kuti sanasinthe ndipo akadali ndi makhalidwe amene anakuchititsani kuti muyambe kucheza naye. Muzicheza nayebe ngati mmene mumachitira poyamba ndipo musasinthe chifukwa chakuti iye akudwala. Mukamalankhula naye ngati munthu woti sangathe kuchita chilichonse payekha, angayambe kumadzionadi choncho. Roberta, yemwe ali ndi matenda ena ake a m’mafupa amene munthu amachita kubadwa nawo, ananena kuti: “Ndimafuna kuti anthu azinditenga ngati munthu wabwinobwino. Ndi zoona kuti ndine wolumala, koma ndili ndi nzeru ndipo pali zinthu zimene ndimafuna ndi zimene sindifuna. Sindisangalala anthu akamandiyang’ana mondimvera chisoni kapena kulankhula nane ngati kuti ndine munthu wosaganiza.”

Kumbukirani kuti chofunika kwambiri si mawu amene mukulankhula koma mmene mukuwalankhulira. Mmene mawu anu akumvekera angamulimbikitse kapena kumukhudwitsa. Ernesto atangomupeza kumene ndi khansa analandira foni kuchokera kwa mnzake amene amakhala kudziko lina. Mnzakeyo anamuuza kuti: “Sindikukhulupirira, iweyo kupezeka ndi khansa?” Ernesto anati: “Mmene mnzangayo anatchulira mawu akuti ‘iweyo’ ndi ‘khansa’ zinandichititsa mantha kwabasi.”

Lori Hope anapereka chitsanzo china. Iye anati: “Kungopereka moni woti, ‘Muli bwanji?’ kungatanthauze zinthu zambiri kwa munthu wodwala. Mawuwo angamulimbikitse, angamupweteke kapena angamuchititse mantha. Zimenezi zingadalire mmene wopereka moniyo akulankhulira, akugwedezera thupi lake, mmene amachezera ndi wodwalayo komanso nthawi imene wapereka moniyo.”

Mnzanu amene akudwala angafune kuti muzichita zinthu zosonyeza kuti mumamukonda, mumamumvetsa ndi kumulemekeza. Choncho, mutsimikizireni kuti mumamuona kuti ndi wofunika kwambiri ndipo simungasiye kucheza naye koma mupitirizabe kumusamalira. Rosemary, amene ali ndi chotupa mu ubongo, ananena kuti: “Ndinkasangalala anzanga akandiuza kuti amandikonda ndiponso akandiuza kuti apitirizabe kundisamalira zivute zitani.”​—Miyambo 15:23; 25:11.

Muzimuthandiza

MFUNDO YA M’BAIBULO IMENE MUNGATSATIRE:

“Tisakondane ndi mawu okha kapena ndi lilime lokha, koma mwa zochita ndi choonadi.”​—1 YOHANE 3:18.

▪ Zimene mnzanu angafune kuti mumuchitire panthawi imene akumuyeza kuti adziwe matenda amene akudwala, zingasiyane ndi zimene angafune kuti mumuchitire pamene akulandira chithandizo chamankhwala. Koma panthawi yonseyi, iye angafune kuti muzimuthandiza. M’malo momuuza kuti, “Mukafuna chinachake mundiuze,” nenani chimene mungathandizecho. Mungamuchitire zinthu za tsiku ndi tsiku monga kuphika, kusesa, kuchapa, kusita komanso kukamugulira zinthu. Mungamuperekezenso kuchipatala ndiponso kumuchitira zina zilizonse zosonyeza kuti mumamukonda. Mukalonjeza zinthu, muzizichitadi ndipo muzizichita panthawi yeniyeni imene munalonjezayo.​—Mateyo 5:37.

Rosanne Kalick ananena kuti: “Chilichonse chimene tingamuchitire munthu wodwala, kaya ndi chachikulu kapena chaching’ono, chimakhala chothandiza.” Sílvia, amene anadwalapo khansa kawiri konse, anavomereza mfundo imeneyi. Iye anati: “Ndinkasangalala kwambiri anzanga osiyanasiyana akamandiperekeza kuchipatala. Popita kuchipatalako tinkacheza nkhani zosiyanasiyana ndipo pobwera tinkapita kumalo ena kukamwa khofi. Zimenezi zinkandithandiza kuiwalako kuti ndikudwala.”

Musangoganiza kuti mukudziwa zimene wodwalayo akufuna. Kalick ananena kuti: ‘Musanathandize wodwala muzimufunsa kaye. Muzionetsetsa kuti simukumulanda ufulu wake. Sibwino kuchita zinthu  osamufunsa, chifukwa angakhumudwe nazo. Ngati mukumukaniza kuchita chilichonse, angayambe kudzikayikira. Wodwala amafuna kuti azidzimva kuti angathe kuchita zinthu payekha. Sangasangalale kumuona ngati munthu amene sangachite zinthu payekha. Iye amasangalala mukamamuthandiza kuchita zimene angakwanitse.’

Mnzanu wodwala angafune kuti azichita yekha zinthu zina. Adilson, amene akudwala matenda a Edzi, anati: “Ukadwala sufuna kuti anthu azikusala, ngati kuti ndiwe wopanda ntchito kapena kuti palibe chimene ungachite pawekha. Umafuna kuti uzithandizako anthu ena ngakhale kuti ndi zochepa zimene ungathe kuchita. Umasangalala kwambiri kuona kuti ungathebe kuchita zina zake. Zimakuthandiza kuti uzisangalalabe ndi moyo. Ndimafuna kuti anthu azindipatsa mpata wosankha zimene ndikufuna kuchita komanso kuti azilemekeza zimene ndasankhazo. Kudwala sikutanthauza kuti munthu sangathe kukwaniritsa udindo wake monga bambo, mayi kapena udindo wina uliwonse.”

Musamutaye

MFUNDO YA M’BAIBULO IMENE MUNGATSATIRE:

“Bwenzi limakonda nthawi zonse; ndipo m’bale anabadwira kuti akuthandize pooneka tsoka.”​—MIYAMBO 17:17.

▪ Ngati simungathe kukamuona mnzanuyo chifukwa chakuti amakhala kutali kapena pazifukwa zina, mungathe kucheza naye pa foni, kumulembera kalata, kumutumizira uthenga wapafoni kapena pakompyuta. Ngati mutamulembera kalata, kodi mungalembemo zotani? Alan D. Wolfelt, mlangizi wa anthu amene akuvutika ndi chisoni, anati: “Mungathe kumukumbutsa za zosangalatsa zimene munachitirapo limodzi. Mulonjezeni kuti mumulemberanso posachedwa ndipo onetsetsani kuti mwamulemberadi.”

Musaope kulimbikitsa mnzanu amene akudwala poopa kuti munganene kapena kuchita zinazake zimene zingamukhumudwitse. Nthawi zambiri, zimene iye angafunikire ndi kungokamuona basi. Lori Hope analemba m’buku lake kuti: “Tonse timanena kapena kuchita zinthu zinazake zimene anthu ena amazimva molakwa kapenanso zimene zimawakhumudwitsa, ngakhale kuti sichikhala cholinga chathu. Limenelo si vuto. Koma vuto ndi kuopa kukamuona mnzanu amene akudwala ndipo akufunikira thandizo lanu poopa kuti mungakanene kapena kuchita chinachake chomukhumudwitsa.”

Mnzanu akamadwala kwambiri angafunikire thandizo lanu kwambiri kuposa nthawi ina iliyonse. Sonyezani kuti ndinu “bwenzi” lenileni. Sikuti zimene mungachite pomuthandiza zingathetse ululu wake, koma zingachititse kuti munthu amene mumamukonda kwambiriyo apirire vutolo.

[Mawu a M’munsi]