Khuluma Nabantwabakho Ngezomseme
Iinlodlhelo Zethabo Lomndeni
U-Alicia, * osesemutjha, uthi: “Ngezinye iinkhathi ngifuna ukwazi ngeendaba ezimalungana nomseme, kodwana ngibona kwanga nengibuza ababelethi bami iimbuzo, bazokucabanga bona kukhona okumbi engiphezu kwakho.”
U-Inez, unina laka-Alicia uthi: “Ngingakuthabela ukuhlala phasi nendodakazami sikhulume ngezomseme, kodwana imatasatasa khulu ngepilwayo. Kubudisi ukufumana isikhathi engenzi litho ngaso.”
NAMHLANJESI, zomseme zizele yoke indawo—kumabonwakude, emabhayisikobho nemabhorodweni wezokukhangisa. Kubonakala ngasuthi okukuphela kwendawo okungasibulula ukukhuluma kiyo ngezomseme, kuhlangana kwababelethi nabantwana. UMichael weCanada osesemutjha uthi: “Ngifisa kwanga ababelethi bangazi bona kuthusa begodu kuphathisa iinhloni kangangani ukukhuluma nabo ngezomseme. Kungabe kube bulula ukukhuluma nomngani ngazo.”
Kanengi ababelethi nabo njengabantwababo abakatjhaphuluki ukuthoma ikulumiswano ngeendaba zomseme. Encwadinakhe i-Beyond the Big Talk, umfundisi wezamaphilo uDebra W. Haffner uthi: “Ababelethi abanengi bangitjele bona bathengela abantwababo iincwadi ezikhuluma ngomseme namtjhana ngabatjha, bazibeke ngemalawini wabasesebatjha, bangazitshwenyi ngokukhuluma ngazo godu.” UHaffner uthi umlayezo uyakhanya ebantwaneni: “Sifuna wazi ngomzimbakho nangomseme; asifuni nje ukukhuluma nawe ngakho.”
Nengabe umbelethi, kufuze ube nombono ohlukileko ngalokhu. Kwamambala, kuqakathekile bona wena ngokwakho ukhulume nabantwabakho ngezomseme. Cabangela amabanga amathathu naka:
1. Indlela iphasi eliqala ngayo umseme itjhugulukile. UJames oneemnyaka ema-20 uthi: “Abantu abasacabangi ngomseme njengokutjhidelana kwendoda nomkayo. Njenganje kunezomseme ezenziwa ngomlomo, ngesidunu nangokuthumelana imilayezo yezomseme nge-Internet—ngitjho nokuthumelana iinthombe zezomseme ngofunjwathwako.”
2. Abantwabakho kungenzeka bezwe izinto ezingakalungi basesebancani. Umma ibizo lakhe elinguSheila uthi: “Bazokuzwa ngezomseme msinyana nebathoma isikolo, begodu ngeze babe nombono ofuna babe nawo.”
3. Abantwabakho baneembuzo malungana nezomseme kodwana abakghoni ukuthoma ikulumiswano enjalo nawe. U-Ana weBrazil oneemnyaka eli-15 uthi: “Eqinisweni, angazi bona kufuze ngiyithome njani ikulumiswano yezomseme nababelethi bami.”
Kwamambala, ukukhuluma nabantwabakho ngezomseme yingcenye yomthwalo owunikelwe nguZimu njengombelethi. (Kwebe-Efesu 6:4) Iye, kungaba budisi ukukhuluma ngazo kokubili kuwe nakibo. Nokho, ngakelinye ihlangothi, abatjha abanengi bavumelana noDanielle oneemnyaka eli-14 owathi, “Sifuna ukufunda ngezomseme ebabelethini bethu—ingasi kibothitjhere namtjhana emahlelweni wakamabonwakude.” Alo-ke, ungakhuluma njani nabantwabakho ngesihloko esiqakathekilekwesi nokho esiphathisa iinhloni? *
Banikele Imininingwana Elingene Iimnyakabo
Ngaphandle kobanyana bahlala endaweni lapho bangahlangani nabantu khulu khona, abantwana bathoma ukuzwa ngezomseme basesebancani. Okuphazamisa khulu kukobana “ngemihla yokuphela” abantu abenza okumbi bazokuragela phambili ‘ebumbini bakhohlisane.’ (2 KuThimothi 3:1, 13) Ngokudanisako, abantwana abanengi batlhoriswa babantu abadala ngokwezomseme.
Ngalokho, kuqakathekile ukuthoma ukufundisa abantwabakho basesebancani. URenate umma othileko weGermany wathi: “Newulinda bebatjhidele ebutjheni, kungenzeka bangafuni ukukhuluma ngokutjhaphulukileko ngebanga leenhloni zokukhula.” Isilodlhelo kunikela abantwana imininingwana elingene iimnyakabo.
Malungana nabalungele ukungena isikolo: Dzimelela ekubafundiseni amabizo wamambala wezitho zobulili, begodu ugandelele bona akukafuzi kube nomuntu othinta izithwezo. Umma uJulia weMexico wathi: “Ngathoma ukufundisa indodanami isese neemnyaka emithathu. Ukwazi bona abothitjhere, iimbelesi, namtjhana abantwana abakhudlwana bangayilimaza kungithinta khulu. Itlhoga ukwazi bona izivikele njani ebantwini engabaziko.”
LINGA NAKHU: Bandula umntwanakho bona asabele ngokuqinileko nengabe omunye ulinga ukudlala ngezitho zakhe zobulili. Isibonelo, ungafundisa umntwanakho bona athi: “Lisa into oyenzako leyo! Ngizokutlarha!” Qinisekisa umntwanakho bona kufuze atlarhe—ngitjho nanyana umuntu amthembisa izipho namtjhana amthusela. *
Malungana nabantwana beenkolweni zamazinga aphasi: Sebenzisa iimnyaka leyo njengethuba lokungezelela ngokuzeleko ilwazi emntwanenakho. Ubaba ibizo lakhe elinguPeter wanyula nakhu: “Umlambo ulingwa ngedondolo. Hlola bona khuyini esele bayazi nokobana bayafuna ukwazi ngokuzeleko na. Ungakateleli ikulumiswano. Kuzozenzakalela newuba nesikhathi esinengi nabantwabakho.”
LINGA NAKHU: Kwenzeni umkhuba ukuba nekulumiswano efitjhani, kunokobana nibe nendaba ede ngesikhathi esisodwa. (Duteronomi 6:6-9) Ngokwenza njalo angeze wabaqeda amandla abantwabakho. Ngaphezu kwalokho, njengombana bakhula bazokufumana imininingwana abayitlhogako kuye ngezinga labo lokuvuthwa.
Malungana nabakhulela ebudaleni: Kwanje sikhathi sokuqiniseka bona umntwanakho unelwazi elaneleko ngokwenyama, ngokwamazizo nangokuziphatha kwezomseme. U-Ana oneemyaka eli-15 okukhulunywe ngaye phambilini uthi: “Abesana nabantanzana besikolweni sethu bazibandakanya kwezomseme njengomdlalo. Ngidlumbanyana mina njengomKrestu, ngitlhoga ilwazi elaneleko malungana nendaba le. Nanyana kuphathisa iinhloni ukukhuluma ngezomseme, yinto okufuze ngazi ngayo.” *
Isiyeleliso: Abatjha bangalisa ukubuza iimbuzo ngombana basaba bona ababelethi babo bazobasola bona baziphatha kumbi. Lokho ngokwafunyanwa ngomunye ubaba ibizo lakhe elinguSteven. Wathi, “Indodanethu beyikuvilaphela ukukhuluma ngezomseme, kodwana ngemva kwalokho safumana bona beyizizwa kwanga siyayisola ngokuziphatha kwayo. Sakwenza kwakhanya bona asicoci ngendaba le ngombana siyisola, besifuna kwaphela ukuba nesigiri yokobana ikuhlomele ukuqalana neemthelela emimbi eyibhodileko.”
LINGA NAKHU: Kunokobana uqalane nosemutjha ngeembuzo enqophileko malungana neendaba eziphathelene nomseme, mbuze bona afunda nabo esikolweni bayiqala njani indaba le. Isibonelo, ungathi: “Abantu abanengi namhlanjesi bacabanga bona zomseme ezenziwa ngomlomo akusingezomseme zamambala. Le yindlela ofunda nabo abacabanga ngayo?” Iimbuzo engakanqophi njengaleyo ivame ukwenza abatjha bona bakhulume ngokutjhaphulukileko bebaveze iimbonwabo.
Ukuhlula Iinhloni
Kuyavunywa, ukukhuluma nabantwabakho ngezomseme kungaba ngomunye weemsebenzi ophathisa iinhloni ongaqalana nawo njengombelethi. Kodwana uyafaneleka umzamwakho. Umma ibizo lakhe elinguDiane uthi: “Ngokukhamba kwesikhathi, iinhloni ziyasuka, bese ukukhuluma nomntwanakho ngezomseme kungaba lithuba lokuqinisa ubuhlobo benu.” USteven okukhulunywe ngaye phambilini, uyavuma. “Kuba bulula ukucoca ngendaba ephathisa iinhloni njengezomseme newuvula iindlela zokukhulumisana ngokutjhaphulukileko ngananyana ngiyiphi indaba evelako ekhaya,” wangezelela wathi: “Iinhloni azisuki ngokupheleleko, kodwana ukukhulumisana ngokutjhaphulukileko kuqakathekile ekuphileni komkhaya wamaKrestu.”
[Imitlolo yaphasi]
^ isig. 3 Esihlokwenesi amabizo atjhentjhiwe.
^ isig. 11 Isihlokwesi sizokukhuluma ngokutlhogeka kokukhuluma nabantwabakho ngezomseme. Isihloko esilandelako erhelweneli sizokuhlathulula bona ungazidlulisela njani iinkambisolawulo zokuziphatha ekulumiswaneni enjalo.
^ isig. 16 Ithethwe encwadini ethi, Funda Kumfundisi Omkhulu ikhasi-171, egadangiswe boFakazi BakaJehova.
^ isig. 19 Sebenzisa izahluko 1-5, 28, 29, no 33 zencwadi ethi: Intsha Iyabuza Izimpendulo Ezisebenzayo, UmQulu 2, egadangiswe boFakazi BakaJehova, bona ukhulume nosele akhulela ebudaleni ngezomseme.
[Ibhoksi/Isithombe ekhasini 14]
ZIBUZE . . .
Funda ukukhulumela okulandelako okuvela ebantwini abatjha ephasini mazombe, bese uzibuza iimbuzo elandelako.
• “Ababelethi bami bangitjela bona ngifunde iinhloko ezikhuluma ngobuhlobo bomseme bese ngikhulume nabo nengabe ngineembuzo. Kodwana ngikhanuka ngathana bangakhuluma okunengi nami ngabo.”—Ana, Brazil.
Kubayini ucabanga bona kuqakathekile ukunganikeli umntwanakho iinhloko okufuze azifunde kwaphela?
• “Ngazi izinto ezinengi okukhulunywa kumbi ngazo ngobuhlobo bomseme—izinto engicabanga bona ubaba akazi litho ngazo. Angathukwa nengingambuza ngazo.”—Ken, Canada.
Ngikuphi ukusaba umntwanakho angaba nakho ngokukhuluma nawe ngezinto ezimtshwenyako?
• “Nengiba nesibindi sokubuza ababelethi bami iimbuzo malungana nobuhlobo bomseme, baphendula kwanga bayangisola, bayangibuza, ‘Kubayini ubuza ngalokho? Kunento eyenzekileko?’”—Masami, Japan.
Umntwanakho nekakubuza umbuzo malungana nobuhlobo bomseme, indlela osabela ngayo ingayivula njani ikulumiswano engeziweko namtjhana yenze kube budisi ukukhulumisana?
• “Kungarhelebha nange ababelethi bami bangiqinisekisa bona nebalingana nami, bebabuza iimbuzo efanako nokobana angibarari nengibuza iimbuzo enjalo.”—Lisette, France.
Ungamenzela njani umntwanakho ubulula, bona azizwe atjhaphulukile ukukhuluma nawe ngomseme?
• “Umma bekangibuza iimbuzo malungana nomseme—kodwana ngelizwi elimnandi. Ngabona bona lokhu kuqakathekile, bonyana umntwana angazizwa ngasuthi uyasolwa.”—Gerald, France.
Lilizwi elinjani oliberegisako newukhuluma nomntwanakho ngomseme? Kutlhogeka bona uthuthukise?