Tindlela Tekwenta Umndeni Ujabule

Khuluma Nebantfwana Bakho Ngetindzaba Tekuya Ecasini

Alicia, a intfombatana leneminyaka lengu-17 budzala, utsi: “Ngaletinye tikhatsi ngiba nesifiso sekwati lokutsite ngekuya ecasini, kodvwa ngiva shengatsi nangibuta batali bami, batawucabanga kutsi sengicale imikhuba lemibi.”

Inez, make wa-Alicia, utsi: “Ngingatsandza kuhlala phansi nendvodzakati yami futsi sicoce ngetindzaba tekuya ecasini, kodvwa umatasatasa kakhulu ngekuphila kwakhe. Kumatima kutfola sikhatsi lapho akulungele khona kucoca.”

LAMUHLA, titfombe kanye nekwatiswa lokumayelana nekuya ecasini kutse citsi saka—kuma-TV, kumabhayisikobho, kanye nasemabhodini ekukhangisa. Kubonakala shengatsi batali nebantfwana kuphela labesabako kucoca ngalendzaba. Michael, loneminyaka lengu-16 budzala, lohlala eCanada utsi: “Ngifisa shengatsi batali bebati kutsi sitiva sesaba futsi sinemahloni kangakanani nakufanele sikhulume nabo ngetindzaba tekuya ecasini. Kumelula kucoca nemngani.”

Etikhatsini letinyenti, njengebantfwana babo, batali bakutfola kumatima kukhuluma ngetindzaba tekuya ecasini. Encwadzini yakhe letsi “Beyond the Big Talk,” Debra W. Haffner, longumfundzisi wetemphilo utsi: “Batali labanyenti baye bangitjela kutsi batsengela bantfwana babo incwadzi lekhuluma ngekuya ecasini kanye nekutfomba, bese bayishiya ekamelweni lemntfwana, futsi bangaphindze bacoce ngayo.” Haffner utsi kuyacaca kutsi labatali batsi kubantfwana babo: “Siyafuna kutsi nati ngemitimba yenu nangetindzaba tekuya ecasini; kutsi nje asifuni kukhuluma nani ngako.”

Nangabe ungumtali, kufanele ube nembono lowehlukile ngalendzaba. Ecinisweni, kubalulekile kutsi kube nguwe lokhuluma nebantfwana bakho ngekuya ecasini. Asewucabange nganati tizatfu letintsatfu:

1. Live selikuchaza ngendlela leyehlukile kuya ecasini. James, loneminyaka lengu-20 budzala utsi: “Bantfu abasacabangi kutsi kuya ecasini kusho kulalana kwendvodza nemfati. Nyalo sekunekulalana emlonyeni, emantanyula, kutfumelelana imilayeto lengcolile nge-Internet—ngisho nekutfumelelana titfombe letingcolile ngabomahlalekhikhini imbala.”

2. Bantfwana bakho bangase beve kwatiswa lokuliphutsa basesebancane. Lomunye make lokutsiwa nguSheila utsi: “Nabacala kungena esikolweni, batawuva ngetindzaba tekuya ecasini, futsi angeke batjelwe umbono lofuna kutsi babe nawo.”

3. Bantfwana bakho banayo imibuto lemayelana nekuya ecasini, kodvwa mancane ematfuba ekutsi bangacoca nawe. Ana, loneminyaka lengu-15 budzala, lohlala eBrazil utsi: “Nasengikhuluma liciniso, angati kutsi ngingacala kuphi nangifuna  kucoca nebatali bami ngetindzaba tekuya ecasini.”

Kukhuluma nebantfwana bakho ngetindzaba tekuya ecasini kuyincenye yemtfwalo Nkulunkulu lakunikete wona njengemtali. (Efesu 6:4) Kuliciniso kutsi loku kunganibangela emahloni, kokubili wena kanye nebantfwana bakho. Kodvwa-ke, lokuhle kutsi bantfwana labanyenti bavumelana naDanielle loneminyaka lengu-14, lotsi: “Sifuna kutsi kube batali betfu labasifundzisa ngetindzaba tekuya ecasini, hhayi bothishela nobe tinhlelo te-TV.” Ngako-ke, ungakhuluma njani nebantfwana bakho ngalendzaba lebalulekile, kodvwa lebangela emahloni? b

Bafundzise Ngekuvumelana Neminyaka Yabo

Bantfwana bacala kuva ngetindzaba tekuya ecasini basesebancane, ngaphandle nangabe bangahlangani nalabanye bantfwana. Lokukhatsata kakhulu kutsi ‘kulamalanga ekugcina,’ bantfu labangakalungi ‘bayadlanga ngebubi.’ (2 Thimothi 3:1, 13) Kuvisa buhlungu kutsi bantfwana labanyenti bahlukunyetwa bantfu labadzala ngekwelicasi.

Ngako-ke, kubalulekile kutsi ucale kufundzisa bantfwana bakho basesebancane. Lomunye make waseJalimane libito lakhe lokunguRenate utsi: “Nangabe ulindza baze bandlule eminyakeni lelishumi nakubili, angeke bakhulume nawe ngekukhululeka ngobe basuke basesigabeni sekutfomba.” Indlela lencono kufundzisa bantfwana ngekuvumelana neminyaka yabo.

Labo labasenkhulisa: Bafundzise emagama etitfo tabo tangasese, futsi ubatjele kutsi bangavumeli muntfu atitsintse. Lomunye make waseMexico libito lakhe lokunguJulia utsi: “Ngacala kufundzisa indvodzana yami ngalesikhatsi ineminyaka lemitsatfu budzala. Kwati kutsi bothishela, labo labagadza bantfwana, nobe bantfwana labadzala kunaye bangamlimata, kwakungikhatsata kakhulu. Bekufanele ati kutsi kufanele ativikele njani kubantfu langabati.”

YETAMA LOKU: Fundzisa umntfwana wakho kutsi angavumi nangabe lotsite etama kudlala ngetitfo takhe tangasese. Nasi sibonelo: Ungafundzisa umntfwana wakho kutsi atsi: “Yekela loko lokwentako! Ngitawukuceba!” Mcinisekise umntfwana wakho kutsi kukutjela ngentfo leyentekile kulungile—ngisho nobe lowo muntfu ametsembisa kumupha tintfo letimnandzi nobe ametfusa. c

Labo labasemabangeni laphansi: Sebentisa leso sikhatsi njengelitfuba lekwengeta lwati lanalo ngalendzaba. Lomunye babe libito lakhe lokunguPeter utsi: “Ngembikwekutsi nicale kukhuluma, cale uhlole kutsi kukhona yini lasebavele bakwati, nekutsi bayafuna yini kwati lokwengetiwe. Ungetami kukhuluma nabo nangabe bangafuni. Loku kutawutentakalela nangabe ucitsa sikhatsi nebantfwana bakho.”

YETAMA LOKU: Ngaso sonkhe sikhatsi, coca nabo kafishane ngaloko locabanga kutsi kudzingeka bakwati. (Dutheronomi 6:6-9) Ngaleyo ndlela angeke ubadide bantfwana bakho. Ngetulu kwaloko, njengobe bakhula, batawuba nelwati lolunyenti labaludzingako loluvumelana neminyaka yabo.

Bantfwana labasandza kwendlula eminyakeni lelishumi nakubili: Lesi sikhatsi sekuciniseka kutsi umntfwana wakho unelwati lolwenele ngemtimba wakhe, imiva yakhe, kanye nalamanye emaciniso lamayelana nekuya ecasini. Ana, lesikhulume ngaye ekucaleni, loneminyaka lengu-15 budzala utsi: “Bafana kanye nemantfombatana esikolweni sebayaya ecasini. NjengemKhristu, ngicabanga kutsi ngidzinga lwati lolunyenti ngaloludzaba. Nanobe kuphatsisa emahloni kukhuluma ngetindzaba tekuya ecasini, kodvwa kuyintfo lokufanele ngati ngayo.” d

Lokufanele ukunake: Bantfu labasha bangase bangayibuti imibuto ngobe besaba kutsi batali babo batawutsi sebacale kutiphatsa ngendlela lengakalungi. Nguloko lokwashiwo ngulomunye babe, libito lakhe lokunguSteven. Watsi: “Indvodzana yetfu beyingasafuni kutsi sicoce nayo  ngetindzaba tekuya ecasini. Kodvwa ngekuhamba kwesikhatsi satfola kutsi beyicabanga kutsi siyayisola ngendlela letiphatsa ngayo. Setama kuyicacisela kutsi besingacoci ngalendzaba ngobe siyisola kutsi itiphatsa kabi; kodvwa sasimane sifuna kuciniseka kutsi beyinelwati loludzingekile lwekumelana nekuyengelwa ekwenteni tintfo letimbi.”

YETAMA LOKU: Kunekutsi uvele ukhulume nemntfwana wakho ngekumphosa imibuto lemayelana nekuya ecasini, mbute kutsi bantfwana lafundza nabo bacabangani ngako. Sibonelo saloku kutsi ungase utsi: “Bantfu labanyenti lamuhla banemuva wekutsi kulala umuntfu emlonyeni akusiko kuya ecasini. Bativa ngaleyondlela yini bantfwana lofundza nabo?” Imibuto lenjalo ingenta umntfwana wakho akhululeke kucoca ngalendzaba, futsi avete neyakhe imibono.

Kuncoba Emahloni

Kuliciniso kutsi kucoca nebantfwana bakho ngekuya ecasini kuyintfo lebangela emahloni kwendlula tonkhe tintfo lokufanele utente. Kodvwa kuwufanele umetamo. Lomunye make libito lakhe lokunguDiane watsi: “Njengobe sikhatsi sichubeka, emahloni aya ngekuya aphela, futsi kucoca nemntfwana wakho ngekuya ecasini kungaba litfuba lekucinisa buhlobo benu.” Steven lokukhulunywe ngaye ekucaleni, uyavuma: “Kuya ngekuya kuba melula kucoca ngendzaba lebangela emahloni yekuya ecasini nangabe ukwenta umkhuba kucoca nganobe nguyiphi indzaba levelako emndenini.” Waphindze wengeta watsi: “Emahloni wona awapheli ngalokuphelele, kodvwa kugcina kukhulumisana kuvulekile kubalulekile ebuhlotjeni lobunemphilo bemndeni wemaKhristu.”

[Imibhalo lengentansi]

[Libhokisi/Sitfombe ekhasini 14]

UNGAPHENDVULA NJANI?

Fundza naku lokushiwo bantfu labasebasha labavela emhlabeni wonkhe, bese ucabanga ngendlela longayiphendvula ngayo lemibuto lehambisana nako.

• “Batali bami bangitjela kutsi ngifundze tihloko letikhuluma ngekuya ecasini, bese ngiya kubo nangabe nginemibuto. Kodvwa ngifisa shengatsi bebangakhuluma nami kakhudlwana ngalendzaba.”—Ana, waseBrazil.

Ucabanga kutsi kungani kubalulekile kwenta lokungetulu kwekumane unikete umntfwana wakho tincwadzi letifundzisa ngekuya ecasini?

• “Ngati tindlela letinyenti letingakalungi tekuya ecasini bantfu labanyenti labatentako—lokutintfo lengicabanga kutsi babe wami akati lutfo ngato. Utawuphatseka kabi kakhulu nangingambuta ngato.”—Ken, waseCanada.

Ngukuphi kwesaba umntfwana wakho langaba nako lokungamvimbela kutsi akhulume nawe ngetintfo letimkhatsatako?

• “Nasengisitfolile sibindzi sekubuta batali bami ngetindzaba tekuya ecasini, bangiphendvula ngendlela lekhombisa kutsi bayangisola, bangibute: ‘Kungani ubuta ngentfo lenjena? Kukhona yini lokwentekile?’”—Masami, waseJapan.

Nangabe umntfwana wakho akubuta umbuto lomayelana nekuya ecasini, indlela losabela ngayo ingakwenta njani kutsi kube melula nobe kube lukhuni kutsi aphindze acoce nawe ngalendzaba esikhatsini lesitako?

• “Bekutawungisita kutsi batali bami bangicinisekise ngekutsi ngesikhatsi balingana nami, nabo bebabuta imibuto lefananako, nekutsi kuyintfo lekahle ngami kuyibuta.”—Lisette, waseFrance.

Ungamsita njani umntfwana wakho kutsi ative akhululekile kucoca nawe ngetindzaba tekuya ecasini?

• “Make wami abevame kungibuta imibuto lemayelana nekuya ecasini, futsi loko abekwenta ngelivi lelinemusa. Ngicabanga kutsi loko kubaluleke kakhulu kute umntfwana angativa shengatsi uyehlulelwa.”—Gerald, waseFrance.

Linjani livi lolisebentisako nawukhuluma nemntfwana wakho ngekuya ecasini? Kukhona yini kulungisa lokudzingeka ukwente?