Abobaba Bangahlala Njani Batjhidelene Namadodanabo?

“BABA, kubayini wazi izinto ezinengi kangaka?” Indodanakho yakhe yakubuza umbuzo onjalo kungakalindeleki? Mhlamunye ngesikhatheso, wazizwa uzikhakhazisa ngokuba ngubaba. Kodwana nengabe indodanakho yaragela phambili—nengabe yasisebenzisa isiluleko esihlaniphileko begodu yasifumana sizuzisa—akunakuzaza bona wathaba khulu. *—Iziyema 23:15, 24.

Nokho, njengombana kudlula iimnyaka, indodanakho isakubuka njengombana beyenza esikhathini esidlulileko? Namtjhana kubonakala kwanga njengombana ikhula, ukukubuka kwayo kuyancipha? Ungahlala njani utjhidelene nendodanakho njengombana ikhula ekubeni msana ukuya ekubeni yindoda? Kokuthoma, akhe sicabangele ezinye iintjhijilo abobaba abaqalana nazo.

Iimraro Eemthathu Evamileko

1. UKUNGABI NESIKHATHI: Eenarheni ezinengi, bobaba kanengi abondla umndeni. Kanengi, umsebenzabo wenza bona bangabi sekhaya ilanga loke. Kezinye iindawo, abobaba baba nesikhathi esincani khulu nabantwababo. Isibonelo, ukuhlolwa kwamva nje okwenziwe eFrance, kufumene bona abobaba lapho basebenzisa iimzuzu engaphasi kweli-12 ngelanga batlhogomela abantwababo.

CABANGA NGALOKHU: Singangani isikhathi oba naso nendodanakho? Evekeni eyodwa namtjhana eembili ezilandelako, kubayini ungatloli isikhathi osisebenzisako ucoca nayo qobe langa? Iimphumela ingakurara.

2. UKUNGABI NESIBONELO ESIHLE: Amanye amadoda anokuncani akwaziko ngaboyise. UJean-Marie ohlala eFrance uthi, “Gade nginganabo ubuhlobo obungako nobaba.” Kwamthinta njani lokho uJean-Marie? Uthi, “kwabangela iimraro engingakhenge ngiyicabange. Ngokwesibonelo, ngikufumana kubudisi bona ngicoce namadodanami ngezinto eziqakathekileko.” Kobunye ubujamo, amadoda abazi kuhle aboyise, kodwana ubuhlobo hlangana kwakababa nendodana bonakele. UPhilippe oneemnyaka ema-43 uthi: “Ubaba bekakufumana kubudisi ukungitjengisa ithando. Ngalokho, bekufuze ngisebenze budisi ukutjengisa ithando endodanenami.”

CABANGA NGALOKHU: Ucabanga bona ubuhlobo onabo nobabakho buthinta indlela ophatha ngayo indodanakho? Ukhe wazibona ulandela imikghwa kayihlo emihle namtjhana emimbi? Kungenzeka njani lokhu?

3. UKUNGABI NESILULEKO ESILINGENEKO: Amanye amasiko ayithathela phasi indima kababa ekukhuliseni abantwana. ULuca owakhulela eTjhingalanga ye-Europe uthi, “Lapho ngakhulela khona abantu bebacabanga bona ukutlhogomela  abantwana bekumsebenzi womfazi.” Kwamanye amasiko, abobaba bakhuthazwa bona babe bakhuphi beenjeziso eziqinileko kwaphela. Isibonelo, uGeorge owakhulela enarheni ye-Afrika uthi: “Ngesikhethu, abobaba abadlali nabantwababo ngombana basaba bona lokhu kungabehlisa isithunzi. Ngalokho, ngaso soke isikhathi benginomraro wokudlala nendodanami.”

CABANGA NGALOKHU: La uhlala khona, ngiyiphi indima okufuze idlalwe bobaba? Bafundiswe bona baqale ukukhulisa umntwana njengomsebenzi wabafazi? Abobaba bakhuthazwa bona batjengise ithando nokutjhidelana namadodanabo, namtjhana umbono onjalo uqalelwa phasi?

Nengabe ungubaba oqalene nomraro onjengalo owodwa namtjhana ngaphezulu, ungaphumelela njani? Cabanga ngeemphakamiso ezilandelako.

Thoma Indodanakho Iseseyincani

Amadodana abelethwa anesifiso sokulingisa aboyise. Ngalokho, njengombana indodanakho iseseyincani, hlawulela isifisweso. Ungakwenza njani lokho? Begodu ungasifumana nini isikhathi sokuba nayo?

Nanyana kukunini lapho kukghoneka khona, bandakanya indodanakho emsebenzinakho wekhaya waqobe langa. Isibonelo, nengabe wenza umsebenzi wekhaya, itjele ikusize. Nikela umsanyanakho umthanyelo omncani namtjhana irharafu. Akunakuzaza bona uzokuthabela ukusebenza nawe njengekutanakhe nesibonelo sakhe esikhulu, uyise! Kungakuthatha isikhatjhana ukuqeda umsebenzi; kodwana uzokuqinisa ubuhlobo benu, begodu uzabe umfundisa imikghwa emihle yokusebenza. Esikhathini esadlulako, iBhayibhili yakhuthaza abobaba bona babandakanye abantwababo emsebenzinabo yaqobe langa begodu basebenzise iinkhathezo bona bacoce nabo bebabafundise. (Duteronomi 6:6-9) Isilulekwesi sisasebenza nesikhathini sethu.

Ngaphezu kokusebenza nendodanakho, yenza isikhathi sokudlala nayo. Ukudlala kwenza okungaphezu kokuninikela ithuba lokuzithabisa ndawonye. Irhubhululo litjengisa bona abobaba nebadlala nabantwababo abancani, babakhuthaza bonyana balinge ukwenza izinto ezitja nokuba nesibindi.

Ukudlala kwakababa nendodana kuqakatheke khulu. Umrhubhululi uMichel Fize uthi, “Kulokha nekudlalwako lapho umsana akhuluma khona kuhle noyise.” Nekudlalwako, ubaba angabonisa ithando lakhe endodanenakhe kokubili ngamezwi nangezenzo. Ngokwenza lokhu, ufundisa indodanakhe indlela yokobana nayo itjengise ithando. U-André ubaba ohlala eGermany uthi, “Indodanami neyiseseyincani, besivame ukudlala ndawonye. Bengimsingatha, begodu naye wafunda ukungitjengisa ithando.”

Isikhathi sokulala sikhathi esinye ubaba angaqinisa ngaso ithando nendodanakhe. Qobe ifundele indatjana, begodu uyilalele neyiveza ekuthabeleko nokuyitshwenyileko phakathi nelanga. Newenza njalo, uzokwenza kube lula ngayo ukuragela phambili ikhuluma nawe njengombana ikhula.

Ragela Phambili Ufuna Izinto Enifana Ngazo

Abanye abatjha bangangathabi aboyise nebalinga ukukhuluma nabo. Nengabe indodanakho ibonakala ingayitjheji iimbuzwakho, ungaphethi ngokuthi ayifuni ukucoca nawe. Kungenzeka bona iyafuna ukucoca nengabe utjhentjha indlela okhuluma nayo ngayo.

UJacques ubaba ohlala eFrance, ngezinye iinkhathi ukufumana kubudisi ukukhuluma nendodanakhe uJérôme. Kodwana kunokukatelela indodanakhe bona ikhulume, watjhentjha indlelakhe yokukhuluma—wadlala nayo ibholo erarhwako. UJacques uthi, “Ngemva kokuthabulula umzimba, besithanda ukuhlala etjanini siphumule kancani. Indodanami kanengi beyingivulela isifuba ngesikhatheso. Ngicabanga bona, ukuba kwethu ndawonye nokwazi bona ingaba nesikhathi nami, kwakha ubuhlobo obukhethekileko hlangana nathi.”

Kuthiwani nengabe indodanakho ayikuthandi ukudlala? U-André ngethabo ukhumbula ama-awara awasebenzisa ukubukela iinkwekwezi nendodanakhe. U-André uthi, “Besibeka iintulo  ngaphandle ebusukwini obunomoya omakhaza. Bese siziphuthela ngezinto ezifuthumeleko, siphethe neenkomitji zetiye, sibukele isibhakabhaka ebusuku. Besikhuluma Ngowabumba iinkwekwezi, nangeendaba zomuntu mathupha. Besikhuluma pheze ngayo yoke into.”—Isaya 40:25, 26.

Kuthiwani-ke nengabe awukuthandi ukwenza ezinye izinto ezikara indodanakho? Ebujamweni obunjalo, ungasebenzisa isikhathi wenza izinto ongazithandiko. (KwebeFilipi 2:4) U-Ian ohlala eSewula Afrika uthi, “Bengizithanda khulu zemidlalo kunendodanami uVaughan. Bekathanda iimphaphamtjhini namakhophyutha. Ngalokho ngenza umzamo wokobana ngibe nekareko eentweni azithandako, bengikhamba naye embukisweni weemphaphamtjhini bese sidlala iimdlalo yazo ekhomphyutheni. Ngacabanga bona ngombana sihlanganyela izinto ezithabisako ndawonye, uVaughan gade akghona ukukhuluma nami ngokutjhaphulukileko.”

Siza Indodanakho Bona Izithembe

“Qala Baba, qala!” Umsanyanakho wakhe warhuwelela njalo nekakghone ukwenza into etja? Nengabe nje ungena eemnyakeni yobutjha, usawufuna umbonwakho ngokutjhaphulukileko? Kungenzeka akusinjalo. Kodwana uwutlhoga khulu bona akhule abe mumuntu ovuthiweko.

Tjheja isibonelo uJehova uZimu asibekako ekusebenzelaneni nenye yamadodanakhe. UJesu nekazokuthoma indlela yokuphila kwakhe okukhethekileko ephasini, uZimu watjengisa ithando lakhe ngendodanakhe etjhatjhalazini nekasithi: “Le yiNdodana yami ethandekako, ngithabe khulu ngayo.” (Matewu 3:17; 5:48) Liqiniso, unomthwalo wokulaya nokufundisa indodanakho. (Kwebe-Efesu 6:4) Kodwana uyawenza namathuba wokuyibuka ngezinto ezihle ezitjhoko nezenzako?

Amanye amadoda akufumana kubudisi ukubuka nokutjengisa ithando. Kungenzeka akhulela eemndenini lapho ababelethi bawo batjheja iimtjhapho ukudlula okufeziweko. Nengabe lokhu kuliqiniso ngawe, kuzokutlhogeka bona wenze umzamo omkhulu ukwakha ukuzithemba endodanenakho. Ungakwenza njani lokhu? ULuca odzubhulwe ngehla qobe usebenza nendodanakhe eneemnyaka eli-15, uManuel, nebenza umsebenzi wekhaya. ULuca uthi, “Ngezinye iinkhathi ngitjela uManuel bona azithomele umsebenzi bese ngizomsiza nekangitlhogako. Esikhathini esinengi, uyakghona ukuzenzela ngokwakhe umsebenzi. Ukuphumelela kwakhe kumenza aneliseke begodu kwakhe nokuzithemba. Nekaphumeleleko, ngiyambuka. Nekangakenzi ngendlela egade afuna ngayo, ngisamenza azi bona ngiyawuthabela umzamwakhe.”

Godu ungakha ukuzithemba kwendodanakho ngokuyisiza bona ifikelele iimnqopho emkhulu ekuphileni. Nokho, kuthiwani nengabe indodanakho ibuthaka ekufikeleleni iimnqopho kunendlela ofisa ngayo? Namtjhana kuthiwani-ke nengabe iimnqophwayo nanyana ingasi mimbi, kodwana ihlukile kileyo obungayikhethela yona? Endabeni enjalo, kungatlhogeka utjhentjhe kilokho egade ukulindele. UJacques odzubhulwe ngehla uthi: “Ngilinga ukusiza indodanami izibekele iimnqopho efikelelekako. Kodwana godu ngilinga nokuqiniseka bona minqophwayo, ingasi yami. Ngiyazikhumbuza bona kufuze isebenzele eemnqophwenayo ngendlela engakghona ngayo.” Newulalela iimbono yendodanakho, buka amakghonwayo, begodu uyikhuthaze ukuhlula ukubhalelwa kwayo, uzoyisiza bona ifikelele iimnqophwayo.

Liqiniso, ubuhlobo benu buzokuba nobudisi neemraro. Kodwana ngokukhamba kwesikhathi, indodanakho kungenzeka izokufuna ukuba seduze kwakho. Ngaphezu kwakho koke, ngubani ongafuni ukuba seduze komuntu omsiza bona aphumelele?

[Umtlolo waphasi]