1. Ongiini okukundathana nawa kwa kwathela aantu moondjokana dhawo?

OMUMWATATE gumwe gwokoKanada okwa ti: “Oshi li hwepo ndi kale ndi li nomukulukadhi gwandje pehala lyokukala ndi li nomuntu gulwe. Enyanyu lyoshinima kehe tandi nyanyukilwa naye ohali indjipala, nuuwehame kehe mboka tandi wu humbata naye ohawu kala wa pupala.” Omusamane gumwe gwokoAustralia okwa nyola a ti: “Kapu na nando esiku limwe lya pita po inaandi popya nomukulukadhi gwandje muule woomvula 11 ndhoka twa kala pamwe. Katu na uumbanda nenge omalimbililo kutya ondjokana yetu oya kola nenge inayi kola. Okukala tu na oonkundathana tadhi ti sha nodhi li pandjigilile oko kwe tu kwathela tu kale kaatu na uupyakadhi mbuka.” Omumwameme gumwe gwokoKosta Rika okwa ti: “Okukundathana nawa inaku nkondopaleka owala ondjokana yetu, ihe okwe tu hedhitha popepyeelela naJehova, okwe tu gamena komamakelo, okwe tu hanganitha tu li aaihokani nokwa kokeka ohole yetu.”

2. Iinima yini tayi vulu okuningitha aaihokani ya kale ihaaya kundathana nawa?

² Ngoye nakuume koye kopandjokana ohamu kala ngaa mu na oonkundathana oombwanawa nenge ohamu kala mu wete oshidhigu okukala mu na oonkundathana tadhi ti sha? Uushili owo kutya, oonkalo oondhigu ohadhi vulu okuholoka po, molwaashoka mondjokana omu na aantu yaali inaaya gwanenena mboka ye na uukwatya wa yoolokathana, nosho wo iikala mbyoka omuntu ha kala e na omolweputuko nosho wo molwokutekulwa kwe. (Rom. 3:23) Kakele kaashono, aaihokani otashi vulika ya kale ye na omikalo dhokukundathana dha yoolokathana. Nomolwaashono John M. Gottman nosho wo Nan Silver, ya ti: “Ohashi pula omuntu a kale e na omukumo nosho wo etokolotoko nokukala a kola opo a kaleke po ekwatathano ndyoka tali kalelele.”

3. Oshike sha kwathela aaihokani ya koleke ondjokana yawo?

³ Opo ondjokana yi pondole aaihokani oye na okulonga nuudhiginini. Ihe iizemo mbyoka hayi ka monika omwa kwatelwa enyanyu kaali shi okuyelekwa nasha ndyoka aaihokani haya mono. Aaihokani mboka ye holathane otaya vulu okunyanyukilwa shili  onkalamwenyo pamwe. (Omuuv. 9:9) Dhiladhila kombinga yondjokana yooIsak naRebekka ndjoka ya li yi na ohole. (Gen. 24:67) Nokuli nokonima sho ya kala ethimbo pamwe ye li omukulukadhi nomusamane, kapu na nando ooshoka tashi ulike kutya ohole yawo yokuholathana oya li ya huhwa. Aihokani oyendji kunena otaya vulu wo okupopiwa ngaaka. Mbela oshike she ya kwathela? Oyi ilonga okulombwelathana omadhiladhilo gawo nosho wo omaiyuvo gawo ya mangulukilathana, taye shi ningi nolukeno, nowino, nohole, nesimaneko nosho wo neifupipiko. Ngaashi tatu ke shi mona ngashingeyi, uuna mondjokana mu na omaukwatya ngaka ga simanenena, aaihokani otaya ka kala ya manguluka okukundathana.

4, 5. Ongiini owino tayi vulu okukwathela aaihokani yu uve ko thiluthilu nkene kehe gumwe gwomuyo u uvite? Gandja oshiholelwa.

⁴ Omayeletumbulo 16:20 otaga ti: “Ngoka ta pulakene oohapu [nenge “e na owino,” NW], ota kala nawa.” Shoka oshoshili lela ngele tashi ya pondjokana nosho wo ponkalamwenyo yomegumbo. (Lesha Omayeletumbulo 24:3.) Oohapu dhaKalunga odho dhi li onzo ya dhenga mbanda moka tatu vulu okumona owino nuunongo. Genesis 2:18 ota ti kutya Kalunga okwa shiti omukiintu a kale omukwathi o opalela omulumentu gwe, nokwa yooloka ko thilu kuye. Naashoka oshe mu ningitha a kale e na omukalo gwi ili gwokukundathana. Eeno shili aantu oya yoolokathana, ihe aakiintu mokukala kwawo oye hole okupopya kombinga yomaiyuvo gawo, yaantu nosho wo yomakwatathano. Oye hole oonkundathana dhopahole nodha manguluka molwaashoka ohashi ya shilipaleke kutya oye holike. Mepingathano naashono, aalumentu oyendji ihaya kala ya hala okukundathana omaiyuvo gawo nolundji ohaya kala owala ya hala okupopya kombinga yiilonga, yomaupyakadhi nosho wo yomakandulopo gawo. Aalumentu oye hole wo okukala ya simanekwa.

⁵ Omumwameme gumwe gwokoBritania okwa ti: “Omusamane gwandje oha kala a hala okukandula po uupyakadhi nziya nziya pehala lyokupulakena kwaashoka nda hala okutya. Shika ohashi vulu shili okuuvitha ndje nayi, molwaashoka otashi vulika shoka nda hala ‘otee owala nokuulukilwa uukwawo wanankali.’” Omusamane gwe okwa nyola a ti: “Sho opo twa hokana, petameko onda li handi kambadhala okumona omayamukulo gomeendelelo gomaupyakadhi agehe ngoka omukulukadhi gwandje e na. Ihe, onda li ndi ilongo nziya kutya shoka a hala shili okupulakenwa owala. (Omayel. 18:13; Jak. 1:19) Omusamane ngoka e na owino oha dhimbulula omaiyuvo gomukulukadhi gwe e ta kambadhala okutala kutya ote mu ende ngiini opo a popye naye. Ye pethimbo opo tuu mpoka, te mu shilipaleke kutya omadhiladhilo nomaiyuvo ge oga simana kuye. (1 Pet. 3:7) Omukulukadhi naye oha kambadhala wo okuuva ko omaiyuvo gomusamane gwe. Uuna omusamane nomukulukadhi yu uvitathane, haya pandulathana, nohaya gwanitha po iinakugwanithwa yawo yopamanyolo, otaya ka kala ya hangana. Oshikwawo osho kutya otaya ka vula okulongela kumwe mokuninga omatokolo gopandunge noge li pandjele noku ga tula miilonga.

6, 7. (a) Omomukalo guni ekotampango ndyoka li li mOmuuvithi 3:7 tali kwathele aaihokani ya kale ye na owino? (b) Ongiini omukulukadhi ta vulu okukala ha konakona oonkalo, nomusamane oku na okuninga oonkambadhala dhashike?

⁶ Aihokani mboka ye na owino ohaya kala wo ye shi kutya opu na “ethimbo lyokumwena nethimbo lyokupopya.” (Omuuv. 3:1, 7) Omumwameme ngoka a kala mondjokana uule woomvula omulongo okwa ti: “Ngashingeyi onde shi mona kutya opu na omathimbo gamwe ngoka ihaaga kala go opala okweeta po oshikundathanwa shontumba. Ngele omusamane gwandje okwa lulilwa kiilonga nenge kiinakugwanithwa yontumba, ohandi etha pu pite okathimbo manga inaandi eta po oshikundathanwa shoka. Okuninga ngaaka okwa ningitha oonkundathana dhetu dhi kale tadhi ende nawa.” Aakulukadhi mboka ye na oondunge dhokuyoolola, ohaya popi wo nohenda molwaashoka oye shi shi kutya oohapu ‘tadhi popiwa pethimbo lyo opala’ odhi li oshinima oshiwanawa nohadhi pandulwa. — Lesha Omayeletumbulo 25:11.

⁷ Omusamane Omukriste oku na okulonga ombinga ye hakokupulakena owala kwaashoka omukulukadhi gwe ta popi ihe oku na wo okukambadhala u ulike omaiyuvo ge. Omukuluntugongalo ngoka a kala mondjokana uule woomvula 27 okwa ti: “Ondi na okwiilonga okukala handi lombwele omukulukadhi gwandje shoka shi li momutima gwandje.” Omumwatate ngoka a kala mondjokana uule woomvula 24 okwa ti: “Ohandi vulu okumwenena oshinima, tandi dhiladhila kutya ‘ngele inandi popya kombinga yasho,  otashi ka kana po owala.’ Ihe, onda li nda dhimbulula kutya shoka itashi ulike kutya okuholola omaiyuvo gandje oku li uunkundi. Ngele ondi wete tandi nyengwa okuholola omaiyuvo gandje, ohandi galikana ndi popye iitya mbyoka tayi opalele nomomukalo omwaanawa. Ohandi fudha mokule ngame tandi tameke nduno okupopya.” Shoka sha simanenena wo okukala tashi ningwa pethimbo lyo opala, tashi vulika shi ningwe uuna aaihokani ye li oyo ayeke taya kundathana enyolo lyesiku nenge taya lesha Ombiimbeli pamwe.

8. Oshike ishewe tashi ka kwathela aaihokani Aakriste ya pondole mondjokana yawo?

⁸ Shoka sha simana komusamane nomukulukadhi osho okukala haya galikana nokukala ye na ehalo lyokuhwepopaleka omukalo gwawo gwokukundathana. Uushili owo kutya, otashi vulu okukala oshidhigu okulundulula omikalo omikulu. Ihe ngele aaihokani oye hole Jehova, haya pula ombepo ye, noya tala ko ondjokana yawo yi li oshinima oshiyapuki, nena oye na iinima mbyoka tayi ya tsu omukumo mbyoka kaayi niwe kaantu oyendji. Omukulukadhi ngoka a kala mondjokana uule woomvula 26, okwa nyola a ti: “Ngame nomusamane gwandje otwa tala ko ondjokana yi li oshinima sha kwata miiti, onkee ano ihatu dhiladhila nando okutopoka. Shika ohashi tu ningitha tu longe nuudhiginini tu kandule po uupyakadhi mokukundathana.” Uudhiginini wa tya ngaaka neigandjo lyometilokalunga ohali nyanyudha Kalunga nohali ningitha omuntu a lalekwe nuuyamba kuye. — Eps. 127:1.

9, 10. Omomikalo dhini aaihokani taya vulu okukoleka ohole yawo?

⁹ Ohole ‘ndjoka yi li epaya ndyoka hali vulu okumangela iinima ayihe kumwe’ oyo uukwatya wa simanenena mondjokana. (Kol. 3:14) Ohole yashili ohayi koko sho aaihokani aadhiginini ye li pamwe taya nyanyukilwa iinima yontumba naasho taya piti momashongo gi ili nogi ili. Ohaya ningi ookuume kopothingo nohaya nyanyukilwa okukala pamwe. Oondjokana dha tya ngaaka ohadhi kala tadhi ende nawa, hakiinima owala iinene mbyoka haya ningilathathana omalupita ngaashi hashi ulikwa ko-TV nomiifo, ihe okiinima oyindji yindji iishona ngaashi okwiipapatelathana, okupandulathana, okuningilathana uuwanawa, kokwiimemeha nenge kokupulwa owala tashi zi komutima kutya “esiku lyoye olya li ngiini?” Iinima mbika iishona otayi vulu okweeta elunduluko enene mondjokana. Aihokani yamwe mboka ya kala taya nyanyukilwa ondjokana yawo uule woomvula 19 ohaya dhengelethana nenge ya tuminathane omatumwalaka momukokomoko gwesiku “tu tale owala kutya otashi ende ngiini,” omusamane osho a popi ngaaka.

¹⁰ Ohole ohayi inyengitha wo aaihokani ya tsikile okwiilongathana. (Fil. 2:4) Kakele kaashono, okutseyathana kwa tya ngaaka ohaku ningitha ohole yawo yi kale ya kolelela nonando oye li inaaya gwanenena. Ondjokana ndjoka tayi shi enditha nawa ihayi hulile owala ponkatu yontumba ihe ohayi tsikile  okukoka nokukala ya kola mokweendela ko kwethimbo. Onkee ano, ngele owu li mondjokana, ipula to ti: ‘Mbela kuume kandje kopandjokana ondi mu shi shi thike peni? Mbela ohandi uvu ko ngaa omaiyuvo ge nomadhiladhilo ge miinima yontumba? Mbela ohandi dhiladhila lungapi kombinga yakuume kandje kopandjokana, tashi vulika mokudhiladhila kuukwatya mboka wa li we mu nanene kungame tango tango?’

11. Omolwashike okusimanekathana mondjokana kwa simanenena opo ondjokana yi pondole? Shi thaneka.

¹¹ Nokuli noondjokana ndhoka dhi na enyanyu inadhi gwanenena, naaihokani mboka ye holathane otashi vulika kaaya tse kumwe miinima ayihe. Abraham naSara kaya li aluhe haya tsu kumwe. (Gen. 21:9-11) Ihe, okwaatsa kumwe kwawo kakwa li kwe ya ningitha ye ethe sha shi ye pokati kawo. Omolwashike mbela? Oya li ya simanekathana. Pashiholelwa, Abraham okwa li a longitha uutumbulilo ‘kwathela ndje’ sho a popi naSara. (Gen. 12:11, 13, NW) Ye Sara okwa li ha vulika kuAbraham nokwa li he mu ithana “omuwa” gwe momutima. (1 Pet. 3:6) Uuna aaihokani ihaaya simanekathana, shika ohashi kala shi iwetikile mokupopya kwawo. (Omayel. 12:18) Ngele itaya kandula po uupyakadhi mboka, ondjokana yawo otashi vulika yi kale yu uka moshiponga. — Lesha Jakob 3:7-10, 17, 18.

12. Omolwashike aaihokani aape ye na okulonga nuudhiginini ya kale haya popi nesimaneko?

¹² Aihokani aape oye na okulonga nuudhiginini ya kale haya popi nombili nonesimaneko, naashoka otashi ke ya ningitha ya kale ya mangulukilathana nohaya lombwelathana oshili. Omusamane gumwe okwa ti: “Oomvula dhotango mondjokana, ohadhi kala dhinyanyudha nopethimbo opo tuu mpoka ohadhi vulu okukala dhi na omashongo. Ngele tashi ya pokuuva ko omaiyuvo, iikala noompumbwe dhomukulukadhi gwoye nosho wo ye u uve ko omaiyuvo, iikala noompumbwe dhoye, ohashi vulika iinima yi tengauke kashona. Ihe ohashi ka kwathela aaihokani monakuyiwa ngele ohaya tala ko iinima nawa, ye na eifupipiko, eidhidhimiko noyi inekela muJehova.” Shoka kashi shi tuu shoshili!

13. Omolwashike eifupipiko lya simanenena opo aaihokani ya kale mondjokana yi na enyanyu?

¹³ Oonkundathana mondjokana odha fa okamulonga taka tondoka moshikunino. Okukala ‘aaifupipiki momutima’ ohaku dhana onkandangala ya simana mokukaleka okamulonga hoka taka tondoka. (1 Pet. 3:8) Omumwatate gumwe ngoka a kala mondjokana uule woomvula 11 okwa ti: “Eifupipiko olyo uukwatya mboka hawu kwathele aantu ya kandule po mbala okwaahauvathana molwaashoka ohawu ku inyengitha  wu tye, ‘ombili.’” Omukuluntugongalo ngoka a kala ta nyanyukilwa ondjokana uule woomvula 20 okwa ti: “Omathimbo gamwe okutya ‘ombili’ okwa simana ku vule okutya ‘ondi ku hole.’” Okwa gwedha ko a ti: “Omukalo gulwe ngoka hagu endelele mokukwathela omuntu a kale e na eifupipiko ogwo egalikano. Uuna ngame nomukulukadhi gwandje tatu galikana pamwe, ohatu dhimbulukithwa okwaagwanenena kwetu nosho wo ohenda yaKalunga. Okudhimbulukithwa kwa tya ngaaka ohaku kwathele ndje ndi kale ndi na etaloko lyiinima li li mondjila.”

14. Uuntsa ohawu vulu okuguma ngiini ondjokana?

¹⁴ Uuntsa ihawu ningitha oonkundathana dhi hume komeho. Ohawu pondo oonkundathana molwaashoka ohawu kutha po ehalo nomukumo gwokukala twa hala okugandja ombili. Pehala lyokwiifupipika e ta ti: “Ombili; dhimina ndje po,” omuntu ngoka e na uuntsa oha ningi owala omaipopilo. Pehala lyokutaamba ko epuko lye, oha kala owala ta gandja uusama kugulwe. Uuna a ningwa nayi oha geye owala pehala lyokulalakanena a pange ombili, tashi vulika e shi ninge mokushunithila uuwinayi nomalaka ga honga nenge a tule ko owala ondhopi. (Omuuv. 7:9) Eeno, uuntsa ohawu vulu okuteya po ondjokana. Oshiwanawa okudhimbulukwa kutya “Kalunga ota tondo mboka ye hole uuntsa, ihe ota sile ohenda mboka yi ifupipika.” — Jak. 4:6.

15. Yelitha nkene okutula miilonga ekotampango ndyoka li li mAaefeso 4:26, 27 taku vulu okukwathela aaihokani yu ungaunge nuupyakadhi mboka tashi vulika wu holoke pokati kawo.

¹⁵ Eeno, itashi ka kala pandunge ngele ohatu dhiladhila kutya katu na esiku tu ka kale tu na uuntsa. Otwa pumbwa oku wu dhimbulula mo e tatu kambadhala tu wu kandule po meendelelo. Paulus okwa li a lombwele Aakriste ooyakwawo a ti: “Inamu kala mwa geya esiku alihe. Inamu pa omuhindadhi ompito, e mú sinde.” (Ef. 4:26, 27) Ngele aaihokani inaya vulika kOohapu dhaKalunga otaya vulu okuya moshipyu inaashi pumbiwa. Omuwameme gumwe okwa ti: “Opu na iikando yimwe ngame nomusamane gwandje twa li inaatu tula miilonga Aaefeso 4:26, 27. Shoka osha li sha ningitha ndje ndi kale inaandi kotha omasiku gamwe.” Kashi li tuu nawa aaihokani ya kale haya kundathana uupyakadhi pethimbo mpoka opo ya kale ya hangana! Eeno, aaihokani otashi vulika ya kale ya pumbwa okupaathana ethimbo opo ongeyo yawo yi lotele. Oshi li wo nawa ya galikane kuJehova e ya kwathele opo ya kale ye na omadhiladhilo ge li pehala. Shika osha kwatela mo okukala nombepo yeifupipiko, ndjoka tayi ke ya kwathela ya gandje eitulomo kuupyakadhi pehala lyokugandja eitulomo kuyo yene, shoka tashi ka nayipika owala onkalo. — Lesha Aakolossa 3:12, 13.

16. Ongiini eifupipiko hali kwathele aaihokani ya kale haya gandja eitulomo kuukwatya uuwanawa nokomagano gookuume kawo kopandjokana?

¹⁶ Eifupipiko ohali kwathele omuntu ngoka e li mondjokana a kale ta gandja eitulomo kuukwatya uuwanawa wakuume ke kopandjokana. Oku shi thaneka: Otashi vulika omukulukadhi a kale e na iitalendi yontumba mbyoka ha longitha omolwuuwanawa waanegumbo ye. Ngele omusamane gwe omwiifupipiki, ita ka kala e wete e vulike komukulukadhi gwe ihe ote ke mu tsa omukumo a longithe omagano ge, nokungawo ote ku ulika kutya okwe mu lenga noku mu hole. (Omayel. 31:10, 28; Ef. 5:28, 29) Pethimbo opo tuu mpoka, omukulukadhi omwiifupipiki ita ka kala ti iyulike omolwomagano ge nenge a kale tu ulike kutya omusamane gwe ke shi sha. Nokuli, ayehe yaali oye li “omuntu gumwe” naashoka hashi uvitha nayi gumwe osho ngaa hashi uvitha nayi mukwawo. — Mat. 19:4, 5.

17. Oshike tashi vulu okukwathela oondjokana dhokunena dhi kale dhi na enyanyu notadhi simanekitha Kalunga?

¹⁷ Nopwaahe na omalimbililo, owu na okukala wa hala ondjokana yoye yi kale ya fa yooAbraham naSara nenge yooIsak naRebekka ndjoka yi na enyanyu lyashili, tayi kalelele notayi simanekitha Jehova. Ngele osho, kala wu na etaloko lya fa lyaKalunga li na ko nasha nondjokana. Konga owino nuunongo mOohapu dhe. Kokeka ohole yashili ndjoka yi li “ehayango lyOMUWA” mokukala wu na olupandu lwakuume koye kopandjokana. (Ondjimb. 8:6) Longa nuudhiginini wu kokeke uukwatya weifupipiko. Ungaunga nakuume koye kopandjokana nesimaneko. Ngele owa ningi iinima mbyoka, ondjokana yoye otayi ke ku etela enyanyu nosho wo Tate gwoye gwomegulu. (Omayel. 27:11) Otashi vulika wu ka kale wu uvite ngaashi omusamane ngoka a kala mondjokana uule woomvula 27, ngoka a nyola a ti: “Itandi vulu okukala monkalamwenyo kaandi li nomukulukadhi gwandje nando. Ondjokana yetu otayi tsikile okukola esiku kehe. Shika oshi li ngaaka molwaashoka otu hole Jehova nohatu kundathana pandjigilile.”