1, 2. Ngalokuvamile batali nebantfwana bativa njani, kodvwa ngubuphi bumatima labahle babhekana nabo?

“NANGABE bowungeva kutsi batali bakho batawufa kusasa, yini lobowungafisa kubatjela yona lamuhla?” Lowo ngumbuto lowabutwa emakhulu ebantfwana baseMelika. Kunekutsi banake kakhulu tinkinga lebetikhona nobe kungevani lobekubakhatsata, bantfwana labangemaphesenti langu-95 batsi bangafisa kutjela batali babo kutsi: “Ngiyacolisa” nekutsi “Ngiyakutsandza kakhulu.”—For Parents Only, ibhalwe nguShaunti Feldhahn naLisa Rice.

² Ngalokuvamile, bantfwana bayabatsandza batali babo, nebatali bayabatsandza bantfwana babo. Loko kuliciniso ikakhulukati emindenini yemaKhristu. Ngisho nobe batali nebantfwana bafisa kuba ndzawonye, kukhulumisana kuhle kuba matima. Ngisho nalapho bakhulumisana ngekukhululeka, yini lebangela kutsi bangakhulumi ngetindzaba letitsite? Ngutiphi letinye tintfo letivimbela kukhulumisana lokuhle? Singatincoba njani leto tintfo?

3. (a) Yini lebangela kutsi kukhulumisana kahle kube yinsayeya emindenini leminyenti? (b) Yini lebeyibangela kutsi kungabi yinkinga kucitsa sikhatsi ndzawonye emindenini yema-Israyeli?

³ Imindeni leminyenti ikutfola kumatima kuba nesikhatsi lesenele sekukhuluma ngetintfo letibalulekile. Simo besingasinjalo ekucaleni. Mosi wayala bobabe labangema-Israyeli watsi: ‘Kufanele ninamatsisele emavi aNkulunkulu etingcondvweni tebantfwabenu, nikhulume ngawo nanihleti emakhaya, nome nihamba endleleni, nome nilala nome nivuka.’ (Dut. 6:6, 7) Bantfwana bebahlala emakhaya nabonina nobe bahambe naboyise emasimini nasemisebentini yabo. Besiba sinyenti sikhatsi sekutsi bantfwana nebatali babe ndzawonye futsi  bakhulumisane. Ngako-ke, batali bebakhona kutati tidzingo, tifiso nebuntfu bebantfwana babo. Ngendlela lefanako, bekunesikhatsi nematfuba lamanyenti ekutsi bantfwana babati kahle batali babo.

4. Yini lebangela kutsi kube nenkinga yekukhulumisana emindenini lamuhla?

⁴ Kuphila kuhluke kakhulu lamuhla. Kulamanye emave, bantfwana bacala kuya enkhulisa basebancane kakhulu, ngaletinye tikhatsi basuke baneminyaka lemibili nje kuphela budzala. Bobabe nabomake labanyenti basebenta khashane nemakhaya. Kulesikhashana lesincane batali lababa naso nebantfwana, kukhulumisana kuvame kutsatselwa indzawo bongcondvomshini, ema-TV naletinye tintfo tebuchwepheshe. Etimeni letinyenti, bantfwana nebatali baphila imphilo leyehlukene, ecinisweni bavele bangatani futsi bangakhulumisani ngetintfo letibalulekile.

5, 6. Labanye batali ‘basibambisise’ njani sikhatsi kute babe nebantfwana babo?

⁵ ‘Ungasibambisisa’ yini sikhatsi kute ukhone kusicitsa nemndeni wakho kunekutsi wente letinye tintfo? (Fundza Efesu 5:15, 16.) Leminye imindeni ivumelana ngekutsi inciphise sikhatsi sekubukela i-TV nobe sekusebentisa bongcondvomshini. Labanye betama kutsi badle ndzawonye lokungenani kanye ngelilanga. Lilungiselelo lekukhonta kwemndeni nalo lakha litfuba lelihle lekutsi batali nebantfwana basondzelane futsi bacoce ngetintfo letimayelana nekukhonta Nkulunkulu. Kubekela eceleni sikhatsi lesingaba li-awa ngeliviki sekwenta loku kungaba sicalo lesihle, kodvwa kunyenti lokudzingekako kute bakhone kukhulumisana ngetintfo letijulile. Kute bente loku, kufanele bakhulumisane njalo. Ngaphambi kwekutsi umntfwanakho aye esikolweni, shano emavi lamkhutsatako, coca ngembhalo welusuku nobe uthantaze naye. Kwenta njalo kungenta umehluko lomkhulu kulelo langa lakhe.

⁶ Labanye batali bakhonile kushintja indlela labaphila ngayo kute bacitse sikhatsi lesinyenti nebantfwana babo. Nasi sibonelo: Laura, * make webantfwana lababili  wayekela umsebenti wakhe kute ente loko. Utsi: “Ekuseni, sonkhe besiphuma sigijima sijakele emsebentini nobe esikolweni. Nangibuya ekhaya ntsambama, bantfwana bami bese bavele balele, balaliswe ngusisi longisitako. Kuyekela kwami umsebenti kusho kutsi kufanele siphile ngemali lencane, kodvwa nyalo ngiyakwati loko bantfwana bami labakucabangako netinkinga labanato. Ngiyabalalela nabathantaza futsi ngiyakhona kubacondzisa, ngibakhutsate futsi ngibafundzise.”

7. Yini bantfwana nebatali labavame kukhala ngayo?

⁷ Ngemuva kwekucoca kanyenti nebantfwana, babhali bencwadzi letsi For Parents Only, batfola lokunye lokuvimbela kukhulumisana. Batsi: “Intfo lehamba embili bantfwana labavame kukhala ngayo mayelana nebatali babo kutsi: ‘Ababalaleli.’” Leyo yinkinga lengagcini kubo kuphela. Batali nabo bavame kukhala ngentfo lefanako mayelana nebantfwana babo. Kute agcine kukhulumisana kuvulekile, emalunga emndeni kufanele alalele—alalelane mbamba.—Fundza Jakobe 1:19.

8. Batali bangabalalelisisa njani bantfwana babo?

⁸ Batali, nibalalela mbamba yini bantfwana benu? Loku kungaba matima nangabe nidziniwe nobe umntfwana akhuluma ngetintfo locabanga kutsi atikabaluleki kangako. Kodvwa loko lokubonakala kungakabaluleki kuwe kungenteka kubaluleke kakhulu kumntfwanakho. ‘Kushesha kuva’ kusho kunakisisa indlela umntfwanakho lakhuluma ngayo, ungagcini nje ngekunaka lakushoko. Livi lakhe nendlela lenta ngayo ingakukhombisa kutsi utiva njani. Kubuta imibuto nako kubalulekile. LiBhayibheli litsi: “Tinjongo tenhlitiyo yemuntfu tifanana nekujula kwemanti emtfombo; kodvwa lonekuhlakanipha angatikhipha.” (Taga 20:5) Kucondza nekuhlakanipha kubaluleke kakhulu nawufuna kutfola umbono wemntfwana wakho ngetindzaba letilukhuni.

9. Yini leyenta kudzingeke kutsi bantfwana balalele batali babo?

⁹ Bantfwana, niyabalalela yini batali benu? LiVi laNkulunkulu litsi: “Ndvodzana yami, lalela umyalo weyihlo, ungayali imfundziso yenyoko.” (Taga 1:8) Khumbula kutsi batali bakho bayakutsandza futsi bakufisela lokuhle kakhulu etinhlitiyweni tabo, ngako-ke kukuhlakanipha kubalalela. (Ef. 6:1) Kumelula kulalela nangabe nikhulumisana kahle futsi wati kutsi uyatsandvwa. Batjele batali bakho kutsi utiva njani ngetintfo letitsite. Loko kutawubasita kutsi bakucondze kahle. Kudzingeka nekutsi nawe wetame kubacondza.

10. Yini lesiyifundza ekulandziseni lokuseBhayibhelini ngaRehobowamu?

¹⁰ Kudzingeka ucaphele endzabeni yekulalela teluleko letivela kubontsanga yakho. Kungenteka bakutjele loko lofuna kukuva, kodvwa seluleko sabo singase singakusiti. Ecinisweni singakubangela tinkinga. Njengobe bete kuhlakanipha nalokuhlangenwe nako kwebantfu labadzala, bantfwana labanyenti bete umbono wesikhatsi lesitako ngetintfo futsi kungenteka bangakhoni kuyibona imiphumela yetento letitsite. Khumbula sibonelo saRehobowamu, indvodzana yeNkhosi Solomoni. Ngesikhatsi abekwa kutsi abe yinkhosi yaka-Israyeli, bekutawuba kuhlakanipha kutsi alandzele sicondziso semadvodza lamadzala. Esikhundleni sekwenta njalo, walandzela seluleko sabontsanga yakhe lakhula nabo. Ngako-ke, umphumela waba kutsi bantfu labanyenti embusweni wakhe bangasamsekeli. (1 Khos. 12:1-17) Kunekutsi ulingise sibonelo sekungahlakaniphi saRehobowamu, yenta lokusemandleni akho kute uhlale ukhulumisana nebatali bakho. Bacocele loko lokucabangako. Zuza eselulekweni sabo futsi ufundze ekuhlakanipheni kwabo.—Taga 13:20.

11. Ungaba yini umphumela nangabe batali bangangeneki?

 ¹¹ Batali, nangabe ningafuni kutsi bantfwana benu bafune teluleko kubontsanga yabo, kufanele ningeneke kute kube melula ngebantfwana benu kukhuluma nani. Lomunye dzadze losemusha wabhala: “Nangitsi ngikhuluma ngelibito lemfana, batali bami bavele bangakhululeki. Loku kungenta nami ngingakhululeki futsi ngingasakhoni kuchubeka ngikhuluma.” Lomunye dzadze losemusha yena wabhala watsi: “Bantfu labasha labanyenti bayasifuna sicondziso sebatali babo, kodvwa nangabe batali babo bangabanaki, labantfwana batawuvele baye kulomunye umuntfu lotawubanaka, ngisho nakulabo labete lokuhlangenwe nako.” Nangabe utimisele kubalalela ngesineke bantfwana bakho kunobe yini labakhuluma ngayo, utawutfola kutsi bayakhululeka kukhuluma nawe futsi bayasemukela sicondziso sakho.

12. Indlela batali labenta ngayo ingakuphatamisa njani kukhulumisana nebantfwana babo?

¹² Lokunye lokuvimbela kukhulumisana kutsi batali bavele bakutsatsele etulu futsi bakutsatse kabi loko labakutjelwa bantfwana babo. Kuliciniso kutsi batali labangemaKhristu bafuna kubavikela bantfwana babo. ‘Lamalanga ekugcina’ agcwele tingoti letingatsintsa buhlobo betfu naNkulunkulu nalokunye. (2 Thim. 3:1-5) Nobe kunjalo, loko batali labakubona njengekuvikela, kubantfwana kungabonakala kukucindzetelwa.

13. Yini leyenta kudzingeke kutsi batali bakunake kusheshe bavete umbono wabo?

¹³ Kukuhlakanipha ngebatali kutsi bangasheshi kuveta umbono wabo. Kuliciniso kutsi akusimelula kubindza nangabe umntfwana akutjela intfo lekukhatsatako. Kodvwa kubalulekile kutsi ulalelisise kahle kute uphendvule. INkhosi lehlakaniphile, Solomoni yabhala: “Kubulima nelihlazo kuphendvula umbuzo ungakeva kutsi utsini.” (Taga 18:13) Nangabe wehlisa umoya, utawukhona kuva lokunyenti futsi umntfwanakho utawuchubeka akhuluma. Kudzingeka kutsi uyive kahle yonkhe indzaba kute ukhone kumsita. ‘Emavi lashubile’ angakhombisa kutsi inhlitiyo isebuhlungwini. (Jobe 6:1-3) Njengebatali labanelutsandvo, sebentisani tindlebe tenu kute nitfole kucondza nelulwimi lwenu kute nelaphe.

14. Yini leyenta kudzingeke kutsi bantfwana bangasheshi kukhuluma?

¹⁴ Bantfwana, nani kudzingeka ‘ningasheshi kukhuluma,’ ningasheshi niphikise loko lokushiwo batali benu ngobe banemsebenti labawunikwe nguNkulunkulu wekunicecesha. (Taga 22:6) Kungenteka kutsi bake baba setimeni letifana nalenikuto nyalo. Ngetulu kwaloko, bayatisola ngemaphutsa labawenta nabasebasha futsi batimisele kunivikela kutsi ningawenti lawo maphutsa. Ngako-ke, kufanele nitsatse batali benu njengebangani, hhayi titsa tenu; bafuna kunisita, hhayi kunehlulekisa. (Fundza Taga 1:5.) “Hlonipha uyihlo nenyoko,” futsi ubakhombise kutsi uyabatsandza njengobe nabo bakutsandza. Loko kutawenta kube melula kubo kutsi ‘bakukhulise ngekuyala nangekucondzisa kwaJehova.’—Ef. 6:2, 4.

15. Yini letasisita kutsi sibabeketelele futsi singabatfukutseleli labo lesibatsandzako?

¹⁵ Asibabeketeleli ngaso sonkhe sikhatsi labo lesibatsandzako. Umphostoli Pawula wabhalela ‘bazalwane labangcwele baseKholose, labakholwa nguKhristu,’ watsi: “Madvodza, tsandzani bafati benu, ningabacansukeli. Boyise, ningabatfukutselisi bantfwabenu, khona bangetiwudzinwa.” (Khol. 1:1, 2; 3:19, 21) Pawula wakhutsata base-Efesu: “Konkhe lokubabako, nelulaka, nekutfukutsela, nemsindvo, nekuhlambalata akususwe kini, kanye nako konkhe lokubi.” (Ef. 4:31) Kwetama  kuba netincenye tetitselo temoya waNkulunkulu, njengekubeketela, kutfobeka nekutibamba, kutasisita kutsi sehlise umoya ngisho nobe sicindzetelekile.—Gal. 5:22, 23.

16. Jesu wabasita njani bafundzi bakhe, futsi yini leyenta loko kwabaluleka?

¹⁶ Ase ukhumbule sibonelo saJesu. Cabanga ngekucindzeteleka lokukhulu labekakuva esidlweni sakhe sekugcina sakusihlwa anebaphostoli bakhe. Jesu abati kutsi ema-aweni lambalwa abetawufa kancane kancane futsi kabuhlungu. Bekudzingeka etsembeke kute kungcweliswe libito laBabe wakhe futsi kusindziswe bantfu. Nobe kunjalo, kuleso sidlo, ‘kwase kuba nembango emkhatsini webaphostoli ngekutsi ngubani lomkhulu kunabo bonkhe.’ Jesu akazange abatsetsise nobe abatfukutselele, kodvwa wakhuluma nabo ngesineke. Jesu wabakhumbuta kutsi babe naye etikhatsini letimatima. Wakhombisa kubetsemba kutsi batawuhlala betsembekile, ngisho nobe Sathane abefuna kubahlunga njengemabele. Wagcine ente sivumelwane nabo.—Luk. 22:24-32.

17. Yini letawusita bantfwana kutsi babe nemoya lophansi?

¹⁷ Bantfwana nabo badzinga kuba nemoya lophansi. Loku kubaluleke kakhulu ngalesikhatsi bafika eminyakeni yekutfomba, ngobe bangase bacabange kutsi sicondziso sebatali babo sikhombisa kutsi ababetsembi. Nobe ngaletinye tikhatsi kungabonakala kunjalo, kodvwa kufanele ubone kutsi indlela batali bakho labakunakekela ngayo ikhombisa kutsi bayakutsandza. Ngekutehlisa, ubalalele futsi ubambisane nabo, utawenta kutsi bakuhloniphe futsi bakwetsembe. Leyo ndlela yekutiphatsa ingenta kutsi utfole inkhululeko nakuletinye tintfo ekuphileni. Kufundza kutibamba kukhombisa kuhlakanipha. Saga lesihlakaniphile sitsi: “Silima siyabonakalisa nase sitfukutsele; kodvwa lohlakaniphile uyatibamba angatibonakalisi.”—Taga 29:11.

18. Lutsandvo luphumela njani ekukhulumisaneni lokuhle?

¹⁸ Batali nani bantfwana labatsandzekako, ningapheli emandla nangabe emndenini wenu ningakhulumisani ngendlela lenifisa ngayo. Chubekani netama kukwenta futsi nihambe ecinisweni. (3 Joh. 4) Emhlabeni lomusha, bantfu labete sono batawukwati kukhulumisana kahle ngaphandle kwekungevani nekuphikisana. Namuhla, sonkhe senta tintfo lesitisola ngato ngekuhamba kwesikhatsi. Ngako-ke, ungangabati kucolisa. Tsetselela ngekukhululeka. ‘Hlanganani nibe munye ngelutsandvo.’ (Khol. 2:2) Lutsandvo lunemandla. “Lutsandvo luyabeketela, lutsandvo lumnene. Alucansuki, alukujabuleli lokubi. Lutsandvo lubeketelela tintfo tonkhe, lukholwa tintfo tonkhe, lwetsemba tintfo tonkhe, lukhutsatelela tintfo tonkhe.” (1 Khor. 13:4-7) Chubekani nikhombisana lutsandvo, futsi kukhulumisana kwenu kutawukhula, kuletse injabulo emndenini neludvumo kuJehova.