1, 2. (a) Kuyini okuhlupha izimuli ezinengi, njalo lokhu kwenza kube layiphi imibuzo? (b) Abazali labantwana bangenzani nxa ukuphila sekuntshintshile?

 KUBUHLUNGU ukubona abazali bakho ababeqinile bezenzela konke sebesehluleka ukuzinakekela. Mhlawumbe uYise kumbe uNina uwile wephuka, useqalise ukuphambaniseka engqondweni selahleka lendlini kumbe usebanjwe umkhuhlane owesabekayo. Kulolunye futhi uhlupho olubakhona. Kwabanye asebeluphele kunzima ukuthi bakwamukele ukuthi imizimba kayisavumi lokuthi abasenelisi ukuziphilela kungelamuntu obancedisayo. (Jobe. 14:1) Kuyini okungenziwa? Banganakekelwa njani?

2 Elinye ibhuku elikhuluma ngokunakekela asebeluphele lithi: “Lanxa kunzima ukuxoxa ngokungenziwa emuntwini oseluphele, imuli ehlale phansi yaxoxa ngamanyathelo engawathatha njalo yavumelana ngezakwenza esikhathini esizayo ayithwali nzima nxa kungavuka okuthile.” Ukuthi kuqakatheke kangakanani ukuxoxa ngalokhu singakuzwisisa kuhle nxa sivuma ukuthi izinhlupho ezilethwa yikuluphala zizasifica kuphela loba sekutheni. Lanxa kunjalo singalungiselela okuthile njalo senze izinqumo kuseselesikhathi. Ake sihlole ukuthi izimuli zingabambisana njani ngesikhathi zilungiselela ukulwisana lezinhlupho lezi.

3. Izimuli zingenzani nxa kuyikuthi abalupheleyo sebedinga usizo? (Khangela umfanekiso osekuqaliseni.)

3 Kulesikhathi lapho abalupheleyo abayabe bengasenelisi ukuzenzela konke sebedinga ukuncediswa kokunye. (Bala umTshumayeli 12:​1-7.) Nxa abazali asebeluphele bengasenelisi ukuzinakekela kumele babonisane labantwababo asebekhulile ukuze bakhethe indlela engcono yokubancedisa futhi engasoze ibakhame. Licebo elihle ukuthi imuli ihlale phansi ixoxe ngokuthi ingabambisana njani, kuyini okufunekayo kanye lokuthi izinto sezizakwenziwa njani. Wonke umuntu kumele akhululeke ukutsho akucabangayo, ikakhulu abazali njalo kutshelwane iqiniso ngalokho abangenelisa ukukwenza. Okunye okungaxoxwa ngakho yikuthi nxa bengathola umuntu obancedisayo bangazihlalela bebodwa yini. * Lokuthi babona angani umntwana munye ngamunye angaphathisa njani. (Zaga. 24:⁠6) Ngokwesibonelo abanye bangancedisa emisebenzini yansuku zonke, kodwa abanye baphathise ngemali. Bonke kumele bananzelele ukuthi kulokuthile okumele bakwenzele abazali babo lokuthi imisebenzi yabo ingantshintsha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi kumbe bangantshintshana ekwenzeni eminye yakhona.

4. Izimuli zingaluthola ngaphi usizo?

4 Nxa uqalisa ukunakekela abazali abalupheleyo zinike isikhathi sokuhlolisisa ngalokho okubahluphayo. Nxa umzali ehlaselwe ngumkhuhlane oqhubeka umudla, funda ngokuthi yiluphi untshintsho okumele ululindele. (Zaga. 1:⁠5) Thintana lengatsha zikahulumende ezincedisa asebeluphele. Dingisisa ukuthi akulazinhlelo yini emphakathini wakini ezingenza ukuthi umsebenzi wakho ubelula. Untshintsho olubakhona lungakutshiya ungahlalisekanga, uphelelwe kumbe ususwele lokuthi ubambe ngaphi. Xoxa lomngane wakho omthembayo. Kodwa okuqakatheke kakhulu yikuthi utshele uJehova ukuthi uzizwa njani. Angakwenza ukuthi ungakhathazeki engqondweni okuyinto edingakalayo ukuze uthwale yiloba yiwuphi umthwalo.​—⁠Hubo. 55:​22; Zaga. 24:​10; Flp. 4:​6, 7.

5. Kungani kukuhle ukulungiselela kuseselesikhathi ukuthi abazali asebeluphele bazanakekelwa njani?

5 Abanye abazali abahlakaniphileyo kanye lezimuli zabo bayadinga ulwazi kuseselesikhathi mayelana lokuthi bazanakekelwa njani ngesikhathi esizayo. Bangaxoxa ngokuthi kungenzakala yini ukuthi bahlale lomunye wabantwababo, lokuthi banganakekelwa njani behlala endaweni ethile kumbe basebenzise ezinye izinhlelo zomphakathi ezikhona. Bayazibona izinto ezingaba ‘luhlupho losizi’ zingakenzakali bahle balungiselele. (Hubo. 90:​10) Izimuli ezinengi kazihleli kuseselesikhathi, besezicina zisenza izinqumo sivukampunzana nxa sekulohlupho. Enye ingcitshi ithi, “lesi kujayele ukuthi kube yisikhathi esibi kulazo zonke sokwenza isinqumo esinjalo.” Nxa sekulokuphithizela okunje, kubanzima ukutsho imibono yakho njalo kungaba lezingxabano. Ukulungiselela kuseselesikhathi kungenza ukuthi untshintsho oluzabakhona lungabi nzima kakhulu.​—⁠Zaga. 20:⁠18.

6. Abazali abalupheleyo labantwababo bangancedakala njani ngokuxoxa ngalapho abazahlala khona?

6 Kungabanzima ukuxoxa labazali bakho ngokuthi bazahlala ngaphi lokuthi sekumele bakuntshintshe yini ukuphila kwabo. Kodwa abanengi bathi kwabanceda kakhulu ukuxoxa ngalokhu. Ngenxa yani? Ngenxa yokuthi kwabanika ithuba lokukhuluma bekhululekile njalo bezwisisana basebephuma lamacebo amahle. Bakubona ukuthi ukuxoxisana ngomusa langothando izinto zingakabi zimbi kwenza kwaba lula ukwenza izinqumo. Lanxa abazali asebeluphele befuna ukuqhubeka behlala bodwa bezenzela izinto zonke, kuyanceda kakhulu ukuthi baxoxe labantwababo ukuthi  bangafuna ukuphathwa njani nxa sekumele banakekelwe.

7, 8. Kuyini okumele izimuli zixoxe ngakho, njalo lokhu kunceda ngani?

7 Bazali, ekuxoxeni kwenu tshelani imuli yenu ngezifiso zenu, imali elilayo kanye lokunye elingafuna ukuthi kwenziwe. Lokhu kuzakwenza ukuthi benze izinqumo ezinhle nxa lingasenelisi ukuzenzela zona. Akuthandabuzwa ukuthi bazafuna ukuhlonipha izinqumo zenu njalo bekele lizenzele izinto nxa lisenelisa. (Efe. 6:​2-⁠4) Ngokwesibonelo, ukhangelele ukuthi omunye wabantwabakho uzahlala lawe kanye lemuli yakhe yini kumbe ukhangelele okunye okuthile? Woba ngumuntu ozwisisayo njalo unanzelele ukuthi imibono yenu ingatshiyana njalo kungathatha isikhathi ukuthi wena mzali kumbe abantwabakho lintshintshe indlela elicabanga ngayo.

8 Kumele linanzelele ukuthi akungeke kube lenhlupho ezinengi nxa lixoxa ngodaba lolu beselihlela ukuthi lizakwenzani kuseselesikhathi. (Zaga. 15:​22) Lokhu kugoqela izingxoxo eziphathelane lokuthi yiziphi izindlela ezingcono zokwelatshwa lokuthi yena umzali angakhethani. Nxa lixoxa ngalokhu, lingasebenzisa imicijo esekhadini legazi okuthiwa yi-Durable Power of Attorney elisetshenziswa ngoFakazi bakaJehova. Wonke umuntu ulelungelo lokuthi atshelwe, avume kumbe ale indlela ezingasetshenziswa nxa eselatshwa. Ekhadini lelo kubhalwa indlela umuntu afuna ukwelatshwa ngayo. Ukukhetha umuntu okumelayo (nxa kuvunyelwa njalo kusemthethweni) kungenza ukuthi umuntu omthembayo akwenzele isinqumo esifaneleyo nxa sekuvuke okuthile. Abakunakekelayo lezihlobo zakho kungaba kuhle ukuthi babe lamakhophi ezincwadi ezifunekayo ukwenzela ukuthi zingaswelakali nxa sezifuneka. Abanye bafaka izincwadi lezo ndawonye lamawili abo lezinye izincwadi eziqakathekileyo eziphathelane le-insurance, izimali, amakheli kanye lezinombolo zocingo zamawofisi kahulumende njalo njalo.

9, 10. Yikuphi okungantshintsha emuntwini oseluphele okungenza afune ukuncediswa kakhulu?

9 Ezikhathini ezinengi, abantwana bakhetha ukungangeneli empilweni yabazali asebeluphele nxa abazali belokhu besenelisa ukuzenzela izinto. Bangabe besenelisa ukuziphekela, ukuhlanza, ukuzinathela amaphilisi lokukhuluma kuhle kungelahlupho. Ngenxa yalokhu, abantwababo kuyabe kungadingakali ukuthi bangenele kukho konke empilweni yabo. Kodwa ngokuya kwesikhathi, abantwana kungadingakala ukuthi bancedise abazali babo ezintweni ezinengi nxa sebekhohlwa izinto lula nje kumbe bengasenelisi ukuzenzela izinto ngokwesibonelo ukuyathenga ezitolo.

10 Ukuguga kungabangela ukuphambaniseka engqondweni, ukudana, ukungenelisi ukuzihambela ngaphandle, ukungezwa  kuhle endlebeni, ukungaboni kuhle, kanye lokukhohlwa. Izinto lezi kumele zelatshiswe masinyane ngoba zingelapheka. Abantwana yibo okumele bakukhuthalele lokhu. Kanti njalo kungafika lesikhathi lapho okuyabe sekumele kube yibo asebesenzela abazali babo izinto zonke. Abantwana bangancedisa abazali babo ezintweni ezinengi ngokuba ngabameli babo, bebabhalela okungabe kufuneka njalo bebathwala mhlawumbe ngezimota langezinye izinto.​—⁠Zaga. 3:⁠27.

11. Kuyini okungenziwa ukwenzela ukuthi untshintsho lube lula?

11 Nxa uhlupho lwabazali bakho lungalungiseki, kuyabe sekumele kuntshintshwe indlela abanakekelwa ngayo njalo kuntshintshwe lalapho abahlala khona. Ukungantshintshi izinto ezinengi kakhulu kuzakwenza ukuthi kube lula ukuntshintsha. Nxa lihlala khatshana labazali, akungeke kube ngcono yini ukuthi uFakazi ohlala eduze labo kumbe umakhelwana ahlale esiyaphosa ilihlo zikhathi zonke abeselitshela ukuthi banjani abazali? Bangabe befuna ukuncediswa ukupheka lokuhlanza kuphela yini? Kungantshintshwa izinto ezithile yini endlini, ukuze kube lula ngabo ukuzenzela ezinye izinto loba ukugeza njalo njalo? Mhlawumbe asebeluphele bayabe befuna nje umuntu ongabuya ebancedisa lapho abahlala khona ukuze bangabi ngumthwalo. Kodwa nxa kuyikuthi kabasenelisi ukuhlala bodwa, kungaba kuhle ukuthi bancediswe ngakho konke. Dinga ukuthi yiziphi izinhlelo ezikhona lapho abahlala khona nxa sekumele uncedise. *​—⁠Bala iZaga 21:⁠5.

12, 13. Abantwana asebekhulile abahlala khatshana labazali babo bakwenza njani ukuthi baqhubeke bebahlonipha njalo bebanakekela?

12 Abantwana abalothando abafuni ukuthi abazali babo badubeke. Ukwazi ukuthi abazali babo banakekelwa kuhle kubenza bangakhathazeki. Kodwa abantwana abanengi bahlala khatshana labazali babo ngenxa yezinye izizathu. Ngenxa yalokho, abanye basebenzisa amalanga abo okuphumula ukuze babavakatshele njalo babancedise kulokho abakufunayo kanye lemisebenzi asebesehluleka ukuyenza. Abazali bazakubona ukuthi bayathandwa nxa behlala betshayelwa ucingo, mhlawumbe nsuku zonke nxa kusenza, bebhalelwa izincwadi, kumbe ama e-mail.​—⁠IZaga 23:​24, 25.

13 Kungelani lokuthi izinto zimi njani, indlela abazali abanakekelwa ngayo nsuku zonke kumele ihlale ihlolwa. Nxa uhlala khatshana labo njalo bengoFakazi, ungakhuluma labadala bebandla ukuze bakunike amanye amacebo. Kanti njalo ungakhohlwa ukukhuleka ngendaba le. (Bala iZaga 11:​14.) Lanxa abazali bakho bengasibo boFakazi, kumele ‘uhloniphe uyihlo lonyoko.’ (Eks. 20:​12; Zaga. 23:​22) Kodwa-ke izimuli zenza izinqumo ezitshiyeneyo. Ezinye zihlela ukuthi umzali osekhulile ahlale eduze kumbe ahlale lazo. Kodwa ezinye kazenelisi ukukwenza lokhu. Abanye abazali abafuni ukuhlala labantwababo asebekhulile abalezimuli; bazizwa bekhululekile ukuhlala bodwa njalo abafuni ukuba ngumthwalo. Abanye bangabe belemali, yikho bangakhetha ukuqhatsha umuntu ozabanakekela bezihlalela bodwa.​—⁠UmTshu. 7:⁠12.

14. Kuyini okungaba luhlupho kulabo abalomsebenzi wokunakekela abazali?

14 Ezimulini ezinengi, kukhanya angani umntwana ongumfana kumbe oyinkazana ohlala eduze labazali kuba nguye obanakekelayo. Kodwa abantwana abayibo abalomsebenzi wokunakekela abazali babo akumelanga bayekele ukukhathalela lezimuli zabo. Umuntu ngeke enelise ukunikela ngesikhathi sakhe sonke lamandla akhe wonke. Kanti njalo izinto zingantshintsha kulowo onakekelayo okungabangela ukuthi lokho eliyabe likuhlelile kuhlolwe kutsha. Emulini yenu, litshiyela izinto zonke emuntwini oyedwa yini? Ngeke kwenze yini ukuthi abanye abantwana bancedise, ngokwesibonelo bangantshintshana ukunakekela abazali.

15. Lowo olomsebenzi omkhulu wokunakekela angancediswa njani ukuze angacini engaselathando?

 15 Nxa umzali oseluphele elezinto ezinengi ezimhluphayo, umuntu omnakekelayo angacina engaselathando. (UmTshu. 4:⁠6) Abantwana abalothando bafuna ukwenza okusemandleni abo ukuthi banakekele abazali babo, kodwa kungacina kusibanzima nxa kulezinto ezinengi okumele bazenze. Nxa sekunjalo akumelanga batshiye nje kodwa kungadingakala ukuthi bacele uncedo. Mhlawumbe abanye bangancedisa lapha lalaphaya. Lokhu kungenza ukuthi lingaphonguhambisa umzali masinyane lapho okunakekelwa khona asebeluphele.

16, 17. Kuyini okungahlupha abantwana abanakekela abazali babo asebeluphele, njalo kuyini okungabanceda? (Khangela ibhokisi elithi “Ukunakekela Abazali Ngentokozo.”)

16 Kuyadanisa ukubona abazali obathandayo belwisana lobuhlungu bokuguga. Abanengi ababanakekelayo bangadana, bakhathazeke, bacaphuke, bazizwe belecala kumbe izinhliziyo zabo zibe buhlungu kakhulu. Kwezinye izikhathi, umzali oseluphele angakhuluma amazwi ahlabayo kumbe angakubongi akwenzelwayo. Nxa esenza njalo, ungaphangisi ukuzonda. Enye ingcitshi ebona ngokusebenza kwengqondo ithi: “Indlela engcono yokulwisana lalokho ongabe ukuzwa ngaphakathi, ikakhulu okukuhluphayo yikukwamukela. Ungenzi angani awubuzwa ubuhlungu kumbe uzibone umubi ngenxa yokuthi uzizwa ngaleyondlela.” Tshela umuntu otshade laye, elinye ilunga lemuli kumbe umngane wakho omthembayo ukuthi uzizwa njani. Ukwenza njalo kungakunceda ukuthi ulwisane lemizwa ebuhlungu.

17 Nxa imuli ingasenelisi ukuqhubeka imnakekela kuhle umuntu oseluphele mhlawumbe angadingelwa omunye umuntu owafundela umsebenzi wokunakekela asebekhulile. Phose nsuku zonke, omunye udadewethu ongumKhristu wayevakatshela unina lapho okunakekelwa khona asebeluphele. Uthi: “Sasingasenelisi ukumnakekela uMama njengoba wayesefuna ukuncediswa okwamahola angu-24 ngelanga. Kwakubuhlungu kakhulu futhi kwakungalula ukuthi simuse lapho okunakekelwa khona asebeluphele. Kodwa kwakulinyathelo elihle kakhulu ezinyangeni zokucina esezakufa njalo wakwamukela lokho.”

18. Kuyini okungenza ukuthi abanakekela abazali babo bakhululeke?

18 Umsebenzi wokunakekela abazali bakho asebeluphele ungabanzima kakhulu njalo ungenza ukuthi ukhathazeke. Endabeni yokubanakekela, akulamthetho okungathiwa yiwo okumele ulandelwe. Kodwa lingabanakekela kuhle abazali benu elibathandayo asebeluphele nxa lihlela izinto kuseselesikhathi, libambisana njalo likhulumisana kuhle. Kanti njalo okuqakatheke kakhulu yikuthi lithandaze ngenhliziyo yonke. Lokhu kuzakwenza ukuthi lihlaliseke ngoba liyabe likwazi ukuthi abazali benu banakekelwa kuhle futhi akula abakuswelayo. (Bala u-1 Khorinte 13:​4-8.) Okuhle kakhulu yikuthi lizakhululeka ngenxa yokuthi liyabe likwazi ukuthi uJehova uzalinika ukuthula kwengqondo akunika labo abahlonipha abazali babo.​—⁠Flp. 4:⁠7.