Kodi Achikulire Tingawasamalire Bwanji?
“Ana anga okondedwa, tisamakondane ndi mawu okha kapena ndi pakamwa pokha, koma tizisonyezana chikondi chenicheni m’zochita zathu.”—1 YOH. 3:18.
1, 2. (a) Kodi mabanja ambiri akukumana ndi mavuto otani? (b) Nanga ndi mafunso ati amene amakhala nawo? (c) Kodi makolo ndi ana awo angathane bwanji ndi mavuto obwera chifukwa cha ukalamba?
N’ZOPWETEKA kuona makolo, amene kale anali ndi mphamvu ndipo ankachita okha chilichonse, akulephera kudzisamalira. Achikulire ena amagwa n’kuthyoka fupa, amaiwala njira yakwawo kapena anawapeza ndi matenda aakulu. Koma nthawi zina achikulirewa safuna kuvomereza kuti sangathe kuchita zinthu zina paokha chifukwa cha ukalamba kapena mavuto ena. (Yobu 14:1) Kodi pamenepa tingatani? Kodi tingawasamalire bwanji?
2 Nkhani ina yokhudza kusamalira anthu okalamba inati: “Ngakhale kuti n’zovuta kukambirana nkhani ya ukalamba, zinthu zimayenda bwino ngati banja lakambirana n’kugwirizana njira zosamalirira achikulire.” Tingaone kufunika kochita zimenezi tikamvetsa mavuto amene amabwera chifukwa cha ukalamba. Choncho tingathe kuoneratu zimene tingachite pokonzekera mavuto amenewa. Tsopano tiyeni tikambirane zimene mabanja angachite kuti asadzavutike kwambiri ndi mavutowa.
KONZEKERANI “MASIKU OIPA”
3. Kodi mabanja angatani ngati makolo achikulire akufunika thandizo? (Onani chithunzi patsamba 25.)
3 Achikulire akafika msinkhu winawake amalephera kuchita zinthu zina moti amafunika thandizo basi. (Werengani Mlaliki 12:1-7.) Izi zikachitika, makolowo ndi ana awo amafunika kuona zimene angachite komanso thandizo limene lingapezeke. Koma zimakhala bwino ngati banja lonse lakambirana zimenezi n’kuona mmene aliyense angathandizire. Pokambirana nkhaniyi, ndi bwino kukhala omasuka ndipo makolowo ayenera kufotokoza maganizo awo kuti mufike pomanga mfundo zothandiza. Ngati makolowo azikhalabe kwaokha, mungakambirane thandizo limene angafunike. * Zingakhale bwino kuoneratunso zimene aliyense azichita powasamalira. (Miy. 24:6) Mwina ena angamawasamalire tsiku ndi tsiku pomwe ena akhoza kumangopereka chithandizo cha ndalama. Aliyense ayenera kudziwa kuti ali ndi udindo powasamalira ndipo mwina pa nthawi ina pangafunike kusinthana zochita.
4. Kodi tingapeze kuti thandizo pamene tikusamalira makolo achikulire?
4 Pamene mukuyamba kuthandiza makolo achikulire, muziyesetsa kufufuza kuti mudziwe bwinobwino mavuto awo. Ngati makolowo ali ndi matenda aakulu, ndi bwino kudziwiratu mavuto ena amene angabwere chifukwa cha matendawo. (Miy. 1:5) Mungaonane ndi anthu monga akuchipatala kuti mudziwe mmene mungawathandizire. Mungafufuzenso thandizo lililonse limene lingapezeke m’dera lanulo kuti musavutike powasamalira. Komabe, mukamaganizira kwambiri mavuto amene angabwere mukhoza kuyamba kuda nkhawa kapena kusokonezeka maganizo. Zikatero, kukambirana nkhaniyi ndi mnzanu amene mumamudalira kumathandiza. Koma chofunika kwambiri ndi kupemphera kwa Yehova n’kumuuza nkhawa zanu zonse. Iye adzakupatsani mtendere wa mumtima umene ungakuthandizeni kupirira vuto lililonse.—Sal. 55:22; Miy. 24:10; Afil. 4:6, 7.
5. N’chifukwa chiyani tiyenera kusankhiratu zimene tidzachite posamalira achikulire?
5 Achikulire ena ndi mabanja awo amasankhiratu zimene angachite ngati zinthu zitafika poipa. Ena amasankha kuti azikakhala ndi mwana wina kapena azikhala kwaokha n’kumangolandira thandizo lililonse limene lingapezeke. Apatu tingati amaoneratu “mavuto ndi zopweteka” zili kutali n’kukonzekera. (Sal. 90:10) Koma anthu ambiri saoneratu zimenezi ndiye mavutowo akafika zimawakoka manja. Katswiri wina pa nkhaniyi anati: “Kusankha zochita, zinthu zitavuta kale kumakhala kovuta komanso kosathandiza.” Zinthu zikavuta anthu amapanikizika ndipo sachedwa kukangana. Koma zinthu zimayenda bwino ngati mavutowo awaonera patali n’kukonzekera.—Miy. 20:18.
Onse m’banjamo ayenera kukambirana zimene angachite posamalira makolo awo (Onani ndime 6-8)
6. Kodi kukambirana za malo amene makolo achikulire azidzakhala n’kothandiza bwanji?
6 Mwina mukuona kuti n’zovuta kukambirana ndi makolo anu ngati pangafunike kusintha malo amene akukhala. Koma ambiri aona kuti kukambirana nkhani zimenezi kunawathandiza kwambiri kukonzekera mavuto amene anadzakumana nawo. Zili choncho chifukwa chakuti anakambirana nkhaniyi zinthu zili bwino ndipo zinali zosavuta kumvetsetsana komanso kugwirizana. Anakambirana mwachikondi komanso mokoma mtima moti mavuto atachitika anamanga mfundo imodzi mosavuta. Ngakhale makolowo atasankha kukhala kwaokha n’kumachita zonse okha, ndi bwino kukambirana thandizo limene angafune ngati zinthu zitafika povuta.
7, 8. (a) Kodi makolo achikulire angakambirane nkhani ziti ndi ana awo? (b) N’chifukwa chiyani ayenera kukambirana nkhani zoterezi?
7 Ngati ndinu makolo, muyenera kukambirana ndi ana anu momasuka thandizo limene mungakonde, kaya ndi la ndalama kapena zinthu zina. Izi zidzawathandiza posankha zochita ngati zinthu zitayamba kukuvutani. Zidzawathandizanso kuti adzalemekeze maganizo anu komanso kukupatsani ufulu woyenerera. (Aef. 6:2-4) Mwachitsanzo, mungachite bwino kunena ngati mungakonde kukakhala ndi mwana wanu wina kapena ayi. Koma musayembekezere zinthu zomwe sizingatheke ndipo kumbukirani kuti mungasiyane maganizo ndi anthu ena. Koma pambuyo pokambirana mungamvetsetsane.
8 Aliyense ayenera kudziwa kuti mavuto ambiri amapeweka ngati anthu akambirana n’kukonzekera. (Miy. 15:22) Zinthu zina zimene mungakambirane ndi zokhudza chithandizo chakuchipatala chimene mungafune. Muyeneranso kukambirana mfundo zimene mwalemba pa khadi lanu la DPA. Munthu aliyense ali ndi ufulu wofotokozeredwa bwinobwino chithandizo chimene akupatsidwa. Alinso ndi ufulu wolandira kapena kukana chithandizocho. Zonsezi ndi zoti munthu amatha kulemba pa khadi lake. Kusankhiratu munthu wina kuti azidzakulankhulirani ngati mwadwala kwambiri kumathandiza kuti adzaonetsetse kuti madokotala akutsatira zimene munasankha. Ndi bwinonso kupereka makope a zikalata zanu zofunika kwa anthu ena amene angadzakuthandizeni ngati zinthu zitavuta. Ena amaphatikiza wilo yawo limodzi ndi zikalata zina monga za inshulansi, zakubanki komanso zaboma.
ZIMENE MUNGACHITE NGATI ZINTHU ZASINTHA
9, 10. Kodi ndi mavuto ati amene angachititse kuti ana ayambe kusamalira makolo awo?
9 Kawirikawiri ana amalolera kuti makolo awo azichita zinthu paokha ngati angathe kutero. Mwina angathe kumaphika okha, kuchapa, kutsatira malangizo akuchipatala komanso kufotokoza maganizo awo mosavuta. Choncho makolowo amapempha ana awo kuti asamavutike n’kuwasamalira. Koma makolowo akayamba kuvutika kuyenda kapena akamalephera kukumbukira zinthu, anawo ayenera kuwathandiza.
10 Munthu akamakalamba amasokonezeka mosavuta, amakhala ndi nkhawa, amavutika kudzithandiza, samvetsetsa kapena kuona bwinobwino komanso amaiwalaiwala. Koma mavuto enawa ndi oti achipatala angathe kuthandiza, choncho mukangoona kuti ayamba, muzipita nawo kuchipatala. Nthawi zina anawo angafunike kusankhira makolowo zochita pa zinthu zimene kale ankachita okha. Kuti makolowo alandire thandizo loyenera, ana awo angafunike kuwauza zoyenera kuchita, kuwaphikira, kuwachapira ndi kuwapangira zinthu zina.—Miy. 3:27.
11. Kodi tingatani kuti makolo okalamba asamakhale movutika?
11 Ngati mavuto amene makolo anu akukumana nawo sangathe, mungafunike kusintha zinthu zina monga njira yowasamalirira kapena malo okhala. Makolowo sangavutike kuzolowera ngati mwasintha zinthu zochepa. Ngati mukukhala kutali ndi makolowo, mwina mungapemphe m’bale, mlongo kapena aneba awo kuti azikawaona pafupipafupi n’kukuuzani mmene alili. Mwina pangafunike munthu woti aziwathandiza ntchito zina zapakhomo monga kuphika, kuchapa ndi kuyeretsa m’nyumba. N’kutheka kuti pangafunike kuchotsa zinthu zimene zingawapunthwitse kapena kuwachititsa ngozi. Komabe ngati kukhala okha kungabweretse mavuto ena, zingakhale bwino kuti munthu wina azikhala nawo nthawi zonse. M’mayiko ena, boma kapena mabungwe amasamalira okalamba. Choncho mungachite bwino kufufuza ngati zimenezi zikuchitika kwanuko. *—Werengani Miyambo 21:5.
ZIMENE ENA AMACHITA
12, 13. Kodi ana ena amene amakhala kutali amatani posamalira ndiponso kulemekeza makolo awo?
12 Ana ambiri amakonda makolo awo ndipo amafuna kuti zinthu ziziwayendera bwino. Iwo amamva bwino akadziwa kuti makolo awo akusamaliridwa. Koma ana ena akakula amakhala ndi zochita zina ndipo sakhala pafupi ndi makolo awo. Ana oterewa amatha kutenga tchuthi kuti akaone makolo awo n’kuwathandiza pa ntchito zina zimene sangakwanitse. Makolo amasangalala kwambiri ana awo akamawaimbira mafoni, kuwatumizira mameseji kapena kuwalembera makalata pafupipafupi.—Miy. 23:24, 25.
13 Kaya zinthu zili bwanji, muyenera kuonanso thandizo limene makolo anu angafunike pa moyo wa tsiku ndi tsiku. Ngati makolo anu ndi Mboni ndipo inu mumakhala kutali, mungakambirane ndi akulu a mumpingo wawo kuti mudziwe zoyenera kuchita. Nkhani imeneyi ndi yofunikanso kumaipempherera. (Werengani Miyambo 11:14.) Ngakhale makolowo atakhala kuti si Mboni tiyenera kutsatira malangizo akuti, “uzilemekeza bambo ako ndi mayi ako.” (Eks. 20:12; Miy. 23:22) Kunena zoona, zimene mabanja awiri angasankhe pa nkhaniyi zingakhale zosiyana. Ena amakonza zoti azikhala limodzi ndi makolo awo kapena kuti asamukire pafupi. Koma kwa ena zimenezi sizingatheke. Makolo ena amafuna kuti azichitabe zinthu paokha kuti asamavutitse ana awo achikulire kapena mabanja awo. Ena amakhala opeza bwino ndipo amangolemba wantchito kuti aziwasamalira.—Mlal. 7:12.
14. Kodi amene ali ndi udindo wosamalira makolo okalamba angakumane ndi mavuto otani?
14 Zikuoneka kuti m’mabanja ambiri mwana mmodzi, amene akukhala pafupi ndi makolowo, ndi amene amakhala ndi udindo wowasamalira. Komabe, ana onse a makolowo ayenera kuthandizana kuwasamalira kwinaku akusamaliranso mabanja awo. Munthu mmodzi sangakwanitse kuchita zonse yekha. Komanso zinthu zikhoza kusintha pa moyo wa mwana amene akusamalira makolowo ndipo pangafunike kupeza njira ina yowasamalirira. Choncho ngati muli ndi makolo okalamba mungadzifunse kuti, ‘Kodi udindo wosamalira makolo athu tangousiya m’manja mwa munthu mmodzi? Kodi ana tonse tingathandizane kuwasamalira?’
15. Kodi amene ali ndi makolo okalamba angatani kuti munthu mmodzi asapanikizike powasamalira?
15 Ngati makolo achikulire akufunika kuwathandiza pa chilichonse, munthu amene akuwasamalira angatope mwamsanga. (Mlal. 4:6) N’zoona kuti ana amakonda kwambiri makolo awo ndipo amafunitsitsa kuchita chilichonse chimene angathe powasamalira. Koma zimavuta ngati pakufunika zinthu zambiri kuti athe kusamalira bwino makolowo. Zinthu zikafika pamenepa, amene akusamalira makolowo angachite bwino kupempha thandizo kwa ena.
16, 17. (a) Kodi ana angakumane ndi mavuto otani pamene akusamalira makolo awo okalamba? (b) Kodi angathane bwanji ndi mavuto amenewa? (Onaninso bokosi lakuti “Timawasamalira Poyamikira Zimene Anatichitira.”)
16 N’zowawa kuona makolo amene timawakonda akuvutika chifukwa cha ukalamba. Ena amene akusamalira makolo oterewa amamva chisoni, kukhala ndi nkhawa, kukwiya, kudziimba mlandu komanso kukhumudwa. Nthawi zina makolo okalamba angalankhule mawu okhumudwitsa kapena kusonyeza kuti sakuyamikira zimene mukuwachitira. Izi zikachitika, musafulumire kukwiya. Katswiri wina pa nkhani imeneyi ananena kuti njira yabwino yothetsera kukhumudwa n’kuvomereza kuti takhumudwa, ndipo tiyenera kupewa kudziimba mlandu. Tingachite bwino kuuza mkazi wathu, mwamuna wathu, m’bale wathu kapena mnzathu amene timamudalira zimene zili mumtima mwathu. Zimenezi zingathandize kuti mtima wanu ukhale m’malo.
17 Chifukwa cha mavuto ena, nthawi zina ana sangakwanitse kupitiriza kusamalira makolo awo okalamba amene akukhala nawo. Zikatere, m’mayiko ena anawo amatumiza makolowo kunyumba zosungirako anthu okalamba. Mwachitsanzo, mlongo wina ankapita tsiku ndi tsiku kukaona amayi ake kunyumba yosungirako anthu okalamba. Iye ananena kuti: “Sitikanatha kusamalira amayi athuwa tsiku lililonse. Zinali zovuta kuvomereza kuti tikawasiye kunyumba imeneyi ndipo zinkandiwawa kwambiri mumtima. Koma ndi njira yokhayi imene ikanathandiza kuti asamaliridwe bwino kumapeto a moyo wawo ndipo anavomereza kukakhala kumeneko.”
18. Kodi ana amene akusamalira makolo awo okalamba adzapeza madalitso otani?
18 Kusamalira makolo achikulire n’kovuta ndipo nthawi zina pangachitike zinthu zokhumudwitsa. Mavuto amene tingakumane nawo posamalira makolo okalamba tingawathetse m’njira zosiyanasiyana. Komabe, mungathe kulemekeza makolo anu achikulire ngati mutakonzekera bwino, kuchita zinthu mogwirizana, kukambirana moona mtima komanso kupemphera kuchokera pansi pa mtima. Tikachita zimenezi sitidzada nkhawa chifukwa tidzadziwa kuti makolo athuwo akusamalidwa bwino. (Werengani 1 Akorinto 13:4-8.) Koposa zonse, mudzapeza mtendere wa mumtima umene Yehova amapereka kwa ana amene amalemekeza makolo awo.—Afil. 4:7.
^ ndime 3 Zimene makolo ndi ana angasankhe zingasiyane malinga ndi dera limene akukhala. Tikutero chifukwa chakuti m’madera ena anthu apachibale amakhala pamodzi ndipo amakambirana pafupipafupi.
^ ndime 11 Ngati makolo anu akukhala okha, zingakhale bwino kuti munthu wina wodalirika akhale ndi makiyi a m’nyumba yawo kuti azitha kulowamo pakagwa vuto la mwadzidzidzi.
