1, 2. (a) Iziphi izinselele imikhaya eminingi ebhekana nazo, okuphakamisa miphi imibuzo? (b) Abazali nabantwana bangabhekana kanjani nezinselele zokushintsha kwezimo?

KUYINTO ebuhlungu kakhulu ukubona abazali bakho ababenobungqabavu futhi bekwazi ukuzinakekela, bengasakwazi ukwenza kanjalo. Mhlawumbe umama noma ubaba uwile waphuka inqulu, uye walahlekelwa ingqondo, futhi akaziwa ukuthi ukuphi, noma kutholakale ukuthi unenkinga enkulu yempilo. Kunenye inkinga futhi asebekhulile ababhekana nayo. Kungase kube nzima ngabo ukwamukela ukuthi ukukhula noma ezinye izimo sezenza bangakwazi ukuzenzela zonke izinto. (Jobe 14:1) Yini engenziwa? Banganakekelwa kanjani?

² Esinye isihloko esikhuluma ngokunakekela asebekhulile sithi: “Nakuba kunzima ukukhuluma ngezinkinga zokukhula, umkhaya oye waxoxa ngezindlela zokubanakekela futhi wavumelana ngezindlela ozozisebenzisa uyokulungela kangcono ukubhekana nanoma yini eyenzekayo.” Ukubaluleka kwengxoxo enjalo kubonakala kangcono lapho sivuma ukuthi izinkinga ezilethwa ukukhula azinakugwenywa. Noma kunjalo, singenza amalungiselelo nezinqumo ezithile kusengaphambili. Ake sihlole ukuthi imikhaya ingabambisana kanjani ngothando ekuhleleni izindlela zokubhekana nezinye zalezo zinselele.

3. Yini okungase kudingeke ukuba imikhaya iyenze lapho abazali asebekhulile sebedinga usizo ngokwengeziwe? (Bheka isithombe esisekuqaleni.)

³ Kufika isikhathi lapho iningi lasebekhulile lingasakwazi khona ukuzinakekela ngokugcwele; lidinga usizo. (Funda umShumayeli 12:1-7.) Lapho abazali asebekhulile bengasakwazi ukuzinakekela, bona nabantwana babo abadala kufanele banqume ukuthi iluphi usizo olungcono abangaluthola futhi bakhethe abazokwazi ukulufinyelela. Ngokuvamile kuwukuhlakanipha ukuba umkhaya ube nomhlangano ukuze uxoxe ngezidingo zabazali, izindlela zokuhlangabezana nazo nokuthi kuzobanjiswana kanjani. Bonke abahilelekile, ikakhulu abazali, kufanele baveze imizwa yabo ngokukhululekile futhi kuxoxwe ngamaqiniso njengoba enjalo. Bangase baxoxe ngokuthi abazali bangakwazi yini ukuqhubeka behlezi ngokuphepha emzini wabo uma kungaba nosizo abalutholayo. * Noma bangase bacabangele ukuthi izimo zesihlobo ngasinye zingasetshenziswa kanjani ekunakekeleni lezo zibopho. (IzAga 24:6) Ngokwesibonelo, izimo zabanye zingabavumela ukuba babanakekele nsuku zonke kanti ezabanye zingabavumela ukuba basize ngokwezimali. Bonke kufanele baqaphele ukuthi wonke umuntu unendima; nokho, leyo ndima ingase ishintshe njengoba isikhathi siqhubeka futhi kungase kucatshangelwe nokuthi kushintshanwe ngeminye imisebenzi.

4. Amalungu omkhaya angaluthola kuphi usizo?

⁴ Njengoba uqala ukunakekela umzali, zinike isikhathi sokufunda kakhulu ngangokunokwenzeka ngenkinga yempilo yakhe. Uma enesifo esiwohlozayo, funda ngezinto okumelwe nizilindele njengoba isikhathi siqhubeka. (IzAga 1:5) Thintana neminyango kahulumeni enikeza usizo kwasebekhulile. Thola ukuthi iziphi izinkonzo zomphakathi ezikhona ezingenza umsebenzi wakho ube lula ngokwengeziwe nokumnakekela kube okungcono. Ushintsho oseluzoba khona ezimweni zasekhaya lungase lubangele imizwelo ekuncisha ukuthula—imizwa yokulahlekelwa, ukushaqeka noma ukukhungatheka. Xoxa ngemicabango yakho nomngane omethembayo. Ngaphezu kwakho konke, thululela inhliziyo yakho kuJehova. Angakunika ukuthula kwengqondo okudingayo ukuze ubhekane nanoma isiphi isimo.—IHu. 55:22; IzAga 24:10; Fil. 4:6, 7.

5. Kungani kuwukuhlakanipha ukuthola ulwazi kusengaphambili ngezindlela zokunakekela asebekhulile eningakhetha kuzo?

⁵ Abanye asebekhulile nemikhaya yabo benza ngokuhlakanipha bathole ukwaziswa kusengaphambili ngezindlela zokunakekela asebekhulile abangakhetha kuzo—njengokuthi kungalunga yini ukuba umzali ahlale nendodana noma indodakazi, ukusebenzisa izindawo zokuhlala ezinikeza usizo, noma ukusebenzisa ezinye izindlela ezitholakalayo endaweni. Baboné ‘izinkathazo nezinto ezilimazayo’ zisekude futhi bazilungiselela. (IHu. 90:10) Imikhaya eminingi ayihleli, bese iphoqeleka ukuba yenze izinqumo ezinkulu ngokuxhamazela lapho kuphakama isimo esibucayi. Esinye isazi sithi lesi “cishe isikhathi esibi kakhulu sokwenza isinqumo esinjalo.” Kuleso simo sokuxhamazela, amalungu omkhaya angase acindezeleke bese kuvela izingxabano. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukwenza amalungiselelo kusenesikhathi kwenza ukuba izinguquko okungase kudingeke nizenze esikhathini esizayo zinganihlukumezi kakhulu.—IzAga 20:18.

6. Abazali nabantwana bangazuza kanjani engxoxweni yokuhlela ukuthi asebekhulile bazohlalaphi?

⁶ Ningase nikuthole kungelula ukuxoxa nabazali ngokuthi bazohlalaphi nangesidingo esingase siphakame sokuba bathuthe. Noma kunjalo, abaningi baye bathi izingxoxo ezinjalo ziye zabasiza kamuva. Kungani? Ngoba zibanike amathuba okwenza amalungiselelo awusizo besondelene futhi beyiqonda imizwa yomunye nomunye. Bathole ukuthi ukubonisana kusengaphambili ngomoya  wothando nomusa, kwenze kwaba lula ukwenza izinqumo kamuva. Ngisho noma asebekhulile befuna ukuhlala bodwa futhi bazinakekele isikhathi eside ngangokunokwenzeka, kunenzuzo ukuxoxa nabantwana babo ngendlela abangathanda ukunakekelwa ngayo uma siba khona leso sidingo.

7, 8. Iziphi izindaba okuyoba kuhle ukuba imikhaya ixoxe ngazo, futhi kungani?

⁷ Bazali, phakathi naleyo ngxoxo, wutsheleni umkhaya wenu ngalokho enikufisayo, izimo zenu zezimali nalokho enikukhethayo. Lokho kuyowenza ube sesimweni esingcono sokwenza izinqumo ezifanele uma kwenzeka ningasakwazi ukuzenza. Cishe, uyozihlonipha izifiso zenu futhi nikwazi ukuzimela ngangokunokwenzeka. (Efe. 6:2-4) Ngokwesibonelo, ingabe nilindele ukuba omunye wabantwana benu anithathe niyohlala naye, noma nilindele ukuba kwenziwe ngenye indlela? Ningawashalazeleli amaqiniso, futhi nikwamukele ukuthi akubona bonke abayobona izinto ngendlela enizibona ngayo nokuthi kudinga isikhathi nganoma ubani—kungakhathaliseki ukuthi umzali noma umntwana—ukushintsha indlela ayecabanga ngayo.

⁸ Nonke kufanele niqaphele ukuthi izinkinga zingagwenywa ngokuhlela nangokuxoxisana. (IzAga 15:22) Lokho kuhlanganisa ukuxoxa ngosizo lwezokwelapha nalokho enikukhethayo. Lezo zingxoxo kumelwe nakanjani zihlanganise namaphuzu okuxoxwe ngawo ekhadini legazi [i-Advance Medical Directive] elisetshenziswa oFakazi BakaJehova. Umuntu ngamunye unelungelo lokutshelwa ngokwelashwa okusikiselwayo nelokukwamukela noma lokukwenqaba. Leli khadi lichaza izifiso zomuntu kule ndaba. Ukucela umuntu ozokumela kwezokwelapha (lapho kuvumelekile futhi kwamukeleka khona ngokomthetho) kungaqinisekisa ukuthi umuntu omethembayo uyokwenza izinqumo ezifanele uma kudingeka. Kuyoba kuhle ukuba labo abahilelekile babe namakhophi afanele uma kwenzeka adingeke. Abanye baye babeka la makhophi kanye nencwadi yabo yefa nezinye izincwadi ezibalulekile eziphathelene nomshuwalense, ezezimali, izinombolo zamahhovisi kahulumeni nokunye.

9, 10. Iziphi izinguquko kulokho umuntu osekhulile ayekwazi ukukwenza ezingase zithinte uhlobo losizo azolunikezwa?

⁹ Ezimweni eziningi, abazali nabantwana bakhetha ukuba asebekhulile baqhubeke bezimele uma nje besenamandla okwenza kanjalo. Kungenzeka ukuthi basakwazi ukupheka, ukuhlanza, ukuphuza imithi nokuxhumana nabanye ngaphandle kwenkinga. Lokho kwenza abantwana baqiniseke ukuthi akudingeki bahileleke ngokweqile ekuphileni kwabazali babo kwansuku zonke. Nokho, njengoba isikhathi sihamba, uma abazali beya behluleka ukuhamba, mhlawumbe bengasakwazi ukuya ezitolo, noma sebeqala ukulahlekelwa inkumbulo ngendlela ephawulekayo, kungadingeka ukuba abantwana benze okuthile ngalezo zinguquko.

¹⁰ Ukudideka, ukucindezeleka, ukuphunyukwa umchamo nendle, ukungezwa ezindlebeni, ukuqundeka kwamehlo nokulahlekelwa inkumbulo kungase kube  umphumela wokuguga; noma kunjalo, uma ezinye zalezi zinkinga zempilo ziqala ukubonakala, zingase zelapheke. Funani usizo lwezokwelapha lapho nje noma iyiphi yalezi zinkinga iqala ukuvela. Kungase kudingeke ukuba abantwana bathathe isinyathelo kuqala. Kungase kufike isikhathi lapho kudingeka khona ukuba bathathe isinyathelo nasezinqumweni ezazenziwa abazali. Ukuze abazali banakekelwe ngendlela engcono kakhulu, abantwana kungase kudingeke ukuba babe abashayeli, abameli nonobhala babo.—IzAga 3:27.

11. Yini engenziwa ukuze kuncishiswe imiphumela ebuhlungu yezinguquko?

¹¹ Uma izinkinga zabazali bakho zingenakuxazululeka, kungase kudingeke ukuba kwenziwe izinguquko ekubanakekeleni noma endaweni abazohlala kuyo. Izinguquko ezincane zenza kube lula ukuzivumelanisa nazo. Uma nihlala kude nabazali, kunganela yini ukuba omunye uFakazi noma umakhelwane adamane ebahlola futhi azise omunye wenu ukuthi banjani? Ingabe badinga usizo ekuphekeni nasekuhlanzeni indlu kuphela? Ingabe zikhona izinguquko ezincane eningazenza ekhaya ukuze kube lula futhi kuphephe ngabo ukuhambahamba, ukugeza nokwenza ezinye izinto? Uma abazali bekhetha ukuqhubeka behlala bodwa, mhlawumbe kudingeka nje ukuba bathole usizo lwezisebenzi ezinakekela asebekhulile emakhaya. Nokho, uma kungaphephile ukuba bahlale bodwa, kungase kudingeke usizo olwengeziwe oluqhubekayo. Kunoma isiphi isimo, hlolani ukuthi iziphi izinkonzo ezitholakalayo endaweni. *—Funda izAga 21:5.

12, 13. Abantwana abadala abahlala kude nabazali baye baqhubeka kanjani bebazisa futhi bebanakekela?

¹² Abantwana abanothando bafuna ukuba abazali babo bathokomale. Ukwazi ukuthi abazali banakekelwa kahle kwenza abantwana babe nokuthula kwengqondo. Nokho, ngenxa yezinye izibopho, abantwana abaningi asebebadala abahlali eduze nabazali. Ezimweni ezinjalo, abanye baye basebenzisa isikhathi seholide ukuze bavakashele abazali futhi basize ekunakekeleni izidingo zabo, babenzele neminye imisebenzi abangasakwazi ukuyenza. Ukubashayela ucingo njalo—ngisho nansuku zonke uma kungenzeka—ukubabhalela izincwadi noma ama-e-mail kwenza abazali baqiniseke ukuthi bayathandwa.—IzAga 23:24, 25.

¹³ Kunoma isiphi isimo, kudingeka ukuba niyihlole njalo indlela abazali abanakekelwa ngayo nsuku zonke. Uma nikude nabazali futhi bengoFakazi, ningakhuluma nabadala ebandleni abakulo, nicele umbono wabo. Ningakhohlwa ukulufaka emithandazweni yenu lolu daba. (Funda izAga 11:14.) Ngisho noma abazali bengebona oFakazi, kufanele ‘nihloniphe uyihlo nonyoko.’ (Eks. 20:12; IzAga 23:22) Yebo, izinqumo ezenziwa imikhaya ngeke zifane. Abanye abantwana bahlela ukuba umzali osekhulile athuthe ayohlala nabo noma eduze nabo. Nokho, lokhu akuvumi kuzo zonke izimo. Abanye abazali bakhetha ukungahlali nabantwana babo abadala nemikhaya yabo; bathanda ukuzimela, abafuni ukuba umthwalo. Kungenzeka ukuthi abanye banemali futhi bangase bakhethe ukukhokhela izindleko zokubanakekela bebe behlala emzini wabo.—UmSh. 7:12.

14. Iziphi izinkinga abanakekeli abayinhloko abangase babhekane nazo?

¹⁴ Emikhayeni eminingi, umthwalo omkhulu wokunakekela abazali kubonakala usemahlombe endodana noma endodakazi eyodwa, ehlala eduze nabo. Noma kunjalo, labo okuyibona ngokuyinhloko abanakekela abazali kufanele balinganisele phakathi kwezidingo zabazali nezemikhaya yabo siqu. Umuntu ngamunye unesikhathi namandla alinganiselwe. Isimo salowo obanakekelayo naso singase sishintshe senze kudingeke ukuba kwenziwe ushintsho ekubanakekeleni. Kungenzeka yini ukuthi ilungu elilodwa lomkhaya lithwele kakhulu? Bangakwazi yini abanye abantwana ukwenza okwengeziwe,  njengokushintshana nalo ekunakekeleni abazali?

15. Angasizwa kanjani lowo onakekela abazali ukuze angagcini esekhandlekile?

¹⁵ Lapho umzali osekhulile edinga usizo njalo, kunengozi yokuba lowo omnakekelayo agcine esekhandlekile. (UmSh. 4:6) Abantwana abanothando bafuna ukwenza konke okusemandleni ekunakekeleni abazali, kodwa uma izinto abazifunayo zingapheli lokho kungabacindezela. Abantwana ababanakekelayo abazithola bekulesi simo kudingeka babhekane namaqiniso, mhlawumbe bacele usizo. Kungenzeka badinga nje ukusizwa ngezikhathi ezithile ukuze kugwenywe ukuyisa umzali ekhaya lasebekhulile kungakabi yisikhathi.

16, 17. Iziphi izinselele abantwana ababhekana nazo lapho benakekela abazali asebekhulile, futhi bangabhekana kanjani nazo ngokuphumelelayo? (Bheka nebhokisi elithi “Ukunakekela Okushukunyiswa Ukwazisa.”)

¹⁶ Kubuhlungu ukubona imiphumela yokuguga kubazali bakho obathandayo. Abanakekeli abaningi baba nemizwa yokudabuka, ukukhathazeka, ukukhungatheka, intukuthelo, ukucasuka noma bazizwe benecala. Ngezinye izikhathi, umzali osekhulile angase asho izinto ezibuhlungu noma abonise ukuntula ukubonga. Uma lokho kwenzeka, ungasheshi ukucasuka. Esinye isazi sempilo yengqondo sithi: “Indlela engcono kakhulu yokubhekana nanoma imuphi umuzwa, ikakhulukazi okuphatha kabi, ukuwuvuma. Gwema ukuphika ukuthi uzizwa ngaleyo ndlela noma ukuzahlulela kabi ngokuzizwa ngaleyo ndlela.” Xoxa ngendlela ozizwa ngayo nomngane wakho womshado, elinye ilungu lomkhaya noma umngane omethembayo. Izingxoxo ezinjalo zingakusiza ukuba ubheke imizwelo yakho ngendlela enokulinganisela.

¹⁷ Kungase kufike isikhathi lapho umkhaya ungenamali noma ungasenandlela yokuqhubeka unakekela othandekayo wawo ekhaya. Kungase kubonakale kufaneleka ukumyisa ekhaya lasebekhulile. Omunye udade wayevakashela unina ekhaya lasebekhulile nsuku zonke. Uthi ngomkhaya wakubo: “Sasingasakwazi ukunakekela umama amahora angu-24 njengoba kwakudingeka. Akubanga isinqumo esilula ukumyisa ekhaya lasebekhulile. Kwakunzima ngempela ngokomzwelo. Nokho, kwakuyikhambi elingcono kakhulu kulezo zinyanga zokugcina zokuphila kwakhe, futhi wakwamukela lokho.”

18. Yini abanakekeli abangaqiniseka ngayo?

¹⁸ Izibopho zokunakekela abazali njengoba bekhula zingase zibe yinkimbinkimbi futhi zikhandle ngokomzwelo. Awekho amakhambi asebenza njalo endabeni yokunakekela asebekhulile. Nokho, ngokuhlela ngokuhlakanipha, ngokubambisana ngokucabangelana, ngokukhulumisana okuhle, ngaphezu kwakho konke, ngokuthandaza ngokusuka enhliziyweni, ningakwazi ukufeza izibopho zenu zokwazisa abathandekayo benu. Uma nenza kanjalo, ningaba nokwaneliseka ngokwazi ukuthi bathola ukunakekelwa nokukhathalelwa abakudingayo. (Funda eyoku-1 Korinte 13:4-8.) Okubaluleke nakakhulu, ningaqiniseka ukuthi niyoba nokuthula kwengqondo uJehova ababusisa ngakho labo abazisa abazali babo.—Fil. 4:7.