SONKE sikhe sababona abantu bevutha ngumsindo, ibe ngokuqinisekileyo nathi sikhe sicaphuke. Nakuba sisenokukubona kukuhle ukuba umntu awucinezele umsindo kuba uyinto engathandekiyo, amaxesha amaninzi sizibona sinesizathu esibambekayo sokucaphuka xa kukho umntu obonakala esidlel’ indlala. Inqaku elabhalwa yiAmerican Psychological Association lade lathi “umsindo yimvakalelo eqhelekileyo emntwini, ibe ixesha elininzi uyimpilo.”

Sisengayiqhwabel’ izandla le ngcamango xa sisiva amazwi aphefumlelweyo awathethwa ngumpostile uPawulos ongumKristu. Evuma ukuba abantu bayacaphuka ngamaxesha athile, wathi: “Qumbani, kodwa ningoni; malingatshoni ilanga nicaphukile.” (Efese 4:26) Lilonke, ngaba ke simele sigqajukelwe ngumsindo, okanye simele senze unako-nako ukuze siwubambe?

Xa uPawulos wayenikela esi siluleko, kuyabonakala ukuba wayecinga ngamazwi omdumisi athi: “Phazamisekani, kodwa ningoni.” (INdumiso 4:4) Kodwa yintoni kanye kanye awayeyikhuthaza uPawulos? Wongezelela ngelithi: “Mabususwe kuni bonke ubukrakra bolunya nomsindo nengqumbo nokumemeza nokutshabhisa nabo bonke ububi.” (Efese 4:31) Eyona nto yayikhuthazwa nguPawulos kumaKristu kukungagqajukelwa ngumsindo. Okubangela umdla kukuba, eli nqaku leAmerican Psychological Association, xa liqhubeka lithi: “Uphengululo lubonise ukuba ‘ukugqajukelwa’ ngumsindo kumenza umntu aye esiba sisifu ngumsindo, abe nogonyamelo, ibe yonke loo nto ayincedi nganto . . . ekulungiseni oyena ndonakele.”

Singenza njani ke ukuze ‘sisuse’ kuthi umsindo nazo zonke izinto ezimbi ezibangelwa nguwo? UKumkani uSolomon osisilumko wakwaSirayeli wamandulo wathi: “Ingqiqo yomntu ngokuqinisekileyo imenza azeke kade umsindo, yaye kuyinto entle kuye ukukubetha ngoyaba ukunxaxha.” (IMizekeliso 19:11) “Ingqiqo yomntu” imnceda njani xa echwechwelwa ngumsindo?

Ukuba nengqiqo kuthetha ukuyihl’ amahlongwane into, uvelele zonke iinkalo. Kunceda njani oko xa sicaphukile?

Xa sibona kusenziwa okungalunganga, sisenokucaphuka. Kodwa ukuba siyakuvumela oko kusenze sibe nogonyamelo, sisenokuzenzakalisa okanye senzakalise omnye umntu. Kanye njengokuba umlilo ongalawulekiyo unokuyitshabalalisa indlu, umsindo ongalawulekiyo nawo unokulutshabalalisa udumo lwethu oluhle, kunye nobuhlobo bethu nabanye, kuquka ubuhlobo bethu noThixo. Ngoko xa sinyukelwa ngumsindo, simele sizikis’ ukucinga. Ukuvelela zonke iinkalo, ngokuqinisekileyo kuya kusinceda sizilawule iimvakalelo zethu.

Utata kaSolomon, uKumkani uDavide, wasinda cebetshu ekubeni netyala legazi xa waphantse wabulala uNabhali, kodwa wancedwa ukuba azikis’ ukucinga. UDavide namadoda awayekunye naye bazikhusela izimvu zikaNabhali kwintlango yakwaYuda. Xa kwakulixesha lokuchetywa kwezimvu, uDavide wacela ukuba uNabhali abaphe ukutya. UNabhali waphendula ngelithi: “Ngaba kufuneka ke ndithabathe isonka sam namanzi am nenyama yam exheliweyo endiyixhelele abachebi bam ndize ndiyinike amadoda endingawaziyo nokuba avela phi na?” Enjani yona impoxo! Wathi uDavide akukuva oko, yena nomkhosi wakhe, bazimisela ukumtshabalalisa uNabhali kunye nentsapho yakhe.—1 Samuweli 25:4-13.

Umfazi kaNabhali, uAbhigali, wakuva oko waza waya kuDavide. Akufika kuDavide nomkhosi wakhe, wawa ezinyaweni zakhe waza wathi: “Khawuncede, ulivumele ikhobokazana lakho lithethe ezindlebeni zakho, uze uwaphulaphule amazwi ekhobokazana lakho.” Wandula ke wachaza indlela asisidenge ngayo uNabhali, waza wabonisa noDavide ukuba uya kuzisola ngokuziphindezela kwakhe nangokuphalaza igazi.—1 Samuweli 25:24-31.

Amazwi ka-Abhigali amnceda njani waba nengqiqo uDavide, nto leyo eyamncedayo wakwazi ukulawula umsindo wakhe? Okokuqala, uDavide wabona ukuba uNabhali usisidenge ngendalo, yaye okwesibini wabona ukuba wayeya kuba netyala legazi ukuba wayenokuziphindezela. NjengoDavide, nawe usenokucatshukiswa yinto ethile. Ufanele wenze ntoni? “Khokh’ umoya uze ubale ukuya kutsho ku-10,” licebisa njalo inqaku elakhutshwa yiMayo Clinic ngendlela yokulawula umsindo. Ewe, yima uze ucinge ngonobangela wengxaki nangemiphumo yezenzo zakho. Vumela ingqiqo iwuthomalalise umsindo wakho—ide iwuphelise.—1 Samuweli 25:32-35.

Nanamhlanje, abantu abaninzi baye bancedwa ukuba bakwazi ukulawula umsindo wabo. USebastian uchaza indlela ukufunda iBhayibhile okwamnceda ngayo wakwazi ukulawula umsindo wakhe ngoxa wayevalelwe entolongweni ePoland eneminyaka eyi-23 ubudala. Uthi: “Ndiqale ndicinge ngengxaki leyo. Emva koko ndiye ndizame ukusebenzisa icebiso leBhayibhile. Ndifumanise ukuba iBhayibhile yeyona ncwadi iluncedo.”

Yaba yinto efanayo nakuSetsuo. Uthi: “Ndandidla ngokubangxolisa abanye xa bendicaphukisile emsebenzini. Ngoku, ngenxa yokuba ndifunde iBhayibhile, endaweni yokuba ndibangxolise ndiye ndizibuze: ‘Ngubani kanye kanye owonileyo? Ayingebi kanti ndim obangele le ngxaki?’” Ukucinga ngale mibuzo kwakuwuthomalalisa umsindo wakhe.

Usenokuziva ufuna ukugqajukelwa ngumsindo, kodwa isiluleko esinamandla esiseLizwini likaThixo singakunceda. Sisebenzise uze uyithandazele le meko. Ngaloo ndlela, uya kuba nengqiqo uze ukwazi ukuwulawula umsindo wakho.