Kupeza mphatso imene munthu angakonde kwambili si cinthu copepuka. Ndipo kuti mphatso ioneke kuti ni yamtengo wapatali zimadalila woilandila. Cimene munthu wina angaone kuti n’cabwino koposa, kwa wina sicingakhale conco.

Mwacitsanzo, wacicepele angaone kuti mphatso yabwino koposa ni cipangizo camakono cimene cangotuluka kumene. Koma wacikulile angayamikile kwambili mphatso ya coloŵa ca banja. M’zikhalidwe zina, mphatso imene acikulile na acicepele amakonda ni ndalama. Zili conco cifukwa angaiseŵenzetse mmene afunila.

Olo kuti zimakhala zovuta, anthu ambili acikondi amapitiliza kusakila mphatso yoyenelela imene angapatse munthu wina amene amamukonda kwambili. N’zoona kuti kupeza mphatso yaconco kumakhala kovuta, komabe kuganizila mfundo zina kungakhale kothandiza. Tiyeni tikambilaneko mfundo zinayi zimene zingacititse kuti wolandila mphatso asangalale nayo.

Zimene wolandila mphatso amalakalaka. Munthu wina ku Belfast, m’dziko la Northern Ireland, anakamba kuti njinga imene analandila ali na zaka 10 kapena 11, ndiye inali mphatso yabwino koposa. Cifukwa ciani? Iye anati: “Cifukwa n’nali kuifunitsitsa ngako.” Mauwa aonetsa kuti zimene munthu amalakalaka zingacititse kuti ayamikile mphatso kapena ayi. Conco, ganizilani za munthu amene mufuna kupatsa mphatso. Yesetsani kuona zimene amakonda, cifukwa zimene munthu amakonda zimakhudza zimene amalakalaka. Mwacitsanzo, nthawi zambili okalamba amakonda kuceza ndi a m’banja lawo. Iwo angamalakelake kuona ana ndi adzukulu awo kaŵili-kaŵili. Cotelo, kuyenda nawo paulendo wokaceza monga banja kungawacititse kuyamikila kwambili, ndipo kwa iwo ingakhale mphatso yabwino koposa ina iliyonse.

Kuti mudziŵe zimene munthu amalakalaka muyenela kukhala mmvetseli wabwino. Baibo imatilimbikitsa ‘kukhala ofulumila kumva, odekha polankhula.’ (Yakobo 1:19) Mukamakambilana ndi anzanu kapena acibale anu, muzimvetsela mwachelu kuti mudziŵe zimene akonda na zimene sakonda. Ndiyeno mudzakwanitsa kuwapatsa mphatso imene adzakondwela nayo.

 Zosoŵa za wolandila mphatso. Munthu angayamikile maningi mphatso imene walandila olo kuti ni yochipa, malinga ngati yamuthandiza pa cosoŵa cake. Koma mungadziŵe bwanji zosoŵa za munthu?

Mwina zingaoneke kuti njila yapafupi ni kum’funsa zosoŵa zake kapena zimene afuna. Komabe, anthu ambili amaona kuti kucita zimenezi kungacepetse cimwemwe cimene cimabwela cifukwa copatsa. Iwo amafuna kungomudzidzimutsa munthu na mphatso yoyenela. Kuwonjezela apo, olo kuti anthu ena amakamba momasuka zimene amakonda na zimene sakonda, nthawi zina sangakambe zosoŵa zawo.

Conco, muzikhala chelu na kuona bwino-bwino mmene zinthu zilili mu umoyo wa munthu. Kodi amene mufuna kupatsa mphatso ni wacicepele kapena wacikulile, ali pa banja kapena sali pa banja, cikwati cake cinasila kapena anafedwa, ali pa nchito kapena anacita lithaya? Ndiyeno, ganizilani bwino mphatso imene mungamupatse kuti im’thandize pa cosoŵa cake.

Kuti mudziŵe zosoŵa za munthu amene mufuna kupatsa mphatso, funsani ena amene analiko m’cocitika cofananaco. Iwo angakuuzeni zosoŵa zapadela zimene ena sangadziŵe. Mukacita zimenezo, mudzakwanitsa kupeleka mphatso imene idzamuthandiza pa cosoŵa cimene ena sanaganizilepo.

Nthawi. Baibo imati: “Mawu onenedwa pa nthawi yoyenela ndi abwino kwambili.” (Miyambo 15:23) Lembali lionetsa kuti nthawi imene tingakambile mau ena ake ni yofunika ngako. N’cimodzi-modzi na zocita zathu. Monga mmene mau okambidwa pa nthawi yoyenela angakondweletsele owamva, mphatso yopelekedwa pa nthawi yoyenela, kapena pa cocitika coyenela ingacititse woilandila kusangalala kwambili.

Mwacitsanzo, mnzanu akuloŵa m’banja. Wacicepele ali pafupi kutsiliza sukulu. Banja lina likuyembekezela mwana. Izi ni zina mwa zocitika pamene anthu amapeleka mphatso. Ena amaona kuti n’kwabwino kulemba mndandanda wa zocitika zapadela zimene zidzacitika m’caka cimene cibwela. Kucita zimenezi kumawathandiza kukonzekelelatu mphatso yabwino koposa imene angakapeleke pa cocitika ciliconse. *

Komabe, simungafunikile kumapeleka mphatso pa zocitika zapadela cabe. Mungakhale na cimwemwe cimene cimabwela cifukwa copatsa pa nthawi iliyonse. Koma mungafunikile kusamala. Mwacitsanzo, ngati mwamuna angapatse mkazi mphatso pa cifukwa cosadziŵika bwino, mkaziyo angaganize kuti mphatsoyo ni cizindikilo cakuti afuna kum’dziŵa bwino. Ngati cimeneci sindiye colinga, mphatso yaconco ingabweletse mikangano na mavuto ena. Izi zitifikitsa ku mfundo ina yofunika kwambili kuiganizila—colinga ca wopeleka mphatso.

Colinga ca wopeleka mphatso. Monga mmene citsanzo cili pamwambapa caonetsela, cili bwino kuganizila ngati wolandila mphatsoyo angakaikile colinga canu. Kuwonjezela apo, wopeleka mphatso angacite bwino kudzifufuza kuti adziŵe colinga cake. N’zoona kuti anthu ambili amapeleka mphatso na colinga cabwino. Komabe, ambili amapeleka mphatso pa nthawi ina m’caka, cifukwa congokakamizidwa kutelo. Enanso amapatsa cifukwa cofuna kuti wolandilayo aziwacitila zinthu zabwino, kapena cifukwa cofuna kuti nayenso awapatse cinacake.

Mungacite ciani kuti mudzipeleka mphatso na colinga cabwino? Baibo imati: “Zonse zimene mukucita, muzicite mwacikondi.” (1 Akorinto 16:14) Ngati mumapatsa cifukwa ca cikondi ceniceni ndiponso cifukwa coganizila wolandilayo, iye adzalandila mphatso yanu mwacimwemwe, ndipo mudzakhala na cimwemwe cobwela cifukwa copatsa. Mukamapatsa mocokela pansi pa mtima, mumakondweletsanso Atate wathu wakumwamba. Mtumwi Paulo anayamikila Akhristu a ku Korinto  amene mokondwela ndi mowoloŵa manja anathandiza Akhristu anzawo a ku Yudeya. Iye anawauza kuti: “Mulungu amakonda munthu wopeleka mokondwela.”—2 Akorinto 9:7.

Kuganizila mfundo zimene takambilana kungakuthandizeni kwambili kupeleka mphatso zimene zingakondweletse ena. Mfundo zimenezi na zina ndiye zinacititsa Mulungu kupatsa anthu mphatso yopambana zonse. Tikupemphani kudziŵa mphatso yaikulu imeneyi mwakuŵelenga nkhani yotsatila.