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Taem Marit Partner Interest for Lukim Pornography

Taem Marit Partner Interest for Lukim Pornography
  • “Mi feel olsem hasband blo mi gohed for duim adultery.”

  • “Mi feel shame, mi feel olsem mi nating attractive, and mi feel iusles.”

  • “Mi no storyim datwan lo eniwan. Mi kwaet nomata hem pain tumas.”

  • “Mi feel olsem Jehovah nating kea nomoa for mi.”

Evri koment antap hem showim hao wanfala waef savve safa tumas taem hasband blo hem interest for lukim pornography. And if hem duim datwan haed, maet for staka month or year, maet waef bae hard tumas for trustim hem. Wanfala waef sei: “Mi no minim why nao hasband blo mi duim diswan. Hao, eni nara samting moa hem haedem from mi?”

Disfala article hem for waef wea hasband blo hem lukluk lo pornography. a Article hia bae storyim olketa Bible principle wea bae comfortim waef, mekem hem luksavve Jehovah lovem hem, and laek helpem hem emotionally and spiritually. b

WAT NAO INNOCENT PARTNER SAVVE DUIM?

Nomata iu no savve kontrolem evri samting wea hasband duim, iu savve duim samfala samting mekem iu no wari tumas and garem peace lo mind. Tingim samfala point hia.

No blamem iuseleva. Maet wanfala waef feel dat hem nao mas duim eni rong samting, dastawe hasband gohed lukluk lo pornography. Alice c feel olsem hem no attractive nomoa lo hasband blo hem. Hem no minim, “Why nao hasband blo mi disaed for lukluk lo nara woman and hem no interest lo mi?” Samfala waef blamen olketa seleva and tingse olketa nao mekem situation for kamap worse. Danielle sei: “Bikos hasband blo mi gohed for lukluk lo pornography, mi savve feel nogud and kros tumas, and from datwan, mi blamem miseleva hao datwan nao kosim situation hia for worse.”

If iu tu feel olsem, hem gud for tingim hao Jehovah no ting dat iu responsible for samting wea hasband blo iu duim. James 1:14 sei: “Samting wea man seleva laekem nao savve traem hem.” (Rome 14:12; Phil. 2:12) Instead for blamem iu, hem gud for tingim Jehovah appreciatim hao iu gohed loyal lo hem.​—2 Chron. 16:9.

Wanfala waef maet feel dat from hem no luk attractive dastawe hasband gohed lukluk lo pornography, bat datwan no tru. Olketa expert wea duim studyim lo subject hia storyim dat pornography savve mekem man for garem strong desire for laek duim kaen sex wea no eni woman bae fit for duim.

No ova tumas for wari. Catherine storyim hao full taem hem wari nomoa bikos hasband blo hem interest tumas lo pornography. Frances sei: “Mi savve wari taem mi no savve wea nao hasband blo mi. Taem olsem, mi wari nomoa full taem.” Olketa nara waef storyim hao olketa barava shame taem olketa associate witim olketa nara Christian wea maet savve lo problem blo hasband blo olketa. And olketa narawan feel isolate bikos olketa tingse no eniwan understandim situation blo olketa.

Hem normal for garem olketa feeling olsem. Bat if iu gohed for tingim olketa samting olsem, bae iu wari go moa. Instead, hem gud for iu trae tingim frenship blo iu witim Jehovah bikos datwan bae strongim iu for no givap.​—Ps. 62:2; Eph. 6:10.

Maet hem gud for read abaotem and ting raonem olketa story lo Bible abaotem olketa woman wea kasem hard taem, bat olketa kasem comfort taem olketa prea lo Jehovah. Jehovah no evritaem finisim problem blo olketa, bat hem givim peace lo olketa. For example, Hannah “barava feel nogud” bikos lo wanfala situation wea hem insaed. Bat afta hem “prea for longtaem lo Jehovah,” hem kasem peace, nomata hem no savve wat bae happen.​—1 Sam. 1:10, 12, 18; 2 Cor. 1:3, 4.

Maet hasband and waef need for lukaotem help from olketa elder

Askem help from olketa elder. Olketa olsem “wanfala shelter for haed from wind, [and] wanfala ples for stap sef from bigfala rain.” (Isa. 32:2, ftns.) Olketa elder savve markem wanfala sista for iu savve story lo hem and wea bae hem comfortim iu.​—Prov. 17:17.

HAO NAO IU SAVVE HELPEM HEM?

Hao, iu savve helpem hasband blo iu for ovakamim habit for lukluk lo pornography? Yes. Bible storyim dat for stretem wanfala problem or winim wanfala paoaful enemy, “tufala nao gud winim wanfala.” (Eccl. 4:9-12) Olketa expert faendaot taem wanfala couple waka tugeta, staka taem datwan savve helpem partner for ovakamim wei for addict lo pornography and helpem tufala for trustim moa each other.

Bat datwan bae happen nomoa if partner hem willing for waka hard and barava laek for lusim wei for lukluk lo pornography. For example, hao, hem barava prea lo Jehovah for strongim hem and askem help from olketa elder? (2 Cor. 4:7; Jas. 5:14, 15) Waswe, hem garem plan for avoidim wei for laek lukim pornography? For example, waswe, hem markem limit lo hao for iusim olketa electronic device blo hem and avoidim samfala situation wea savve temptim hem? (Prov. 27:12) Waswe, hem willing for acceptim help blo iu and barava honest lo iu? If olsem, bae iu savve helpem hem.

Hao nao iu savve help? Tingim disfala example. Felicia maritim Ethan, wea addict lo pornography taem hem barava young yet. Felicia patient witim hasband and evritaem willing for lisin lo hem. Taem hasband feisim situation wea temptim hem for lukluk lo pornography, hem feel free for story lo Felicia abaotem datwan. Ethan sei: “Mi honest for storyim evriting lo waef blo mi. Hem willing for helpem mi for avoidim olketa situation wea savve temptim mi and evritaem chek witim mi. And hem helpem mi for markem limit lo hao for iusim Internet.” Hem tru, Felicia feel nogud from Ethan interest for lukluk lo pornography. Felicia sei: “Mi kros and feel nogud, bat mi luksavve datwan bae nating helpem hem for lusim datfala nogud habit. Bihaen mitufala discussim problem hia, Felicia storyim lo Ethan hao wat hem duim mekem hem feel nogud and Ethan disaed for avoidim pornography and datwan mekem Felicia trustim hem moa.”

Kaen discussion olsem savve helpem hasband for avoidim wei for lukluk lo pornography and helpem waef tu for trustim hem moa. Tru nao, taem hasband willing for storyim lo waef abaotem wik point blo hem, wat hem duim evriday, and wea hem go, datwan bae isi for waef trustim hem bikos hem no haedem eniting.

Hao, iu bilivim dat iu tu savve helpem hasband blo iu for duim sem samting? If olsem, readim disfala article and storyim tugeta. Aim blo hasband, hem for stop for lukluk lo pornography and datwan bae givim iu reason for trustim hem. Instead for hasband kros bikos iu laek storyim disfala problem, hasband shud trae for understandim hao problem hia affectim iu. And waef need for sapotim hasband taem hem duim best for lusim datfala nogud habit, mekem hem duim samting for gainim moa trustim blo iu. Iutufala evriwan need for luksavve wat nao mekem pipol for laek lukluk lo pornography and hao for ovakamim problem hia. d

If iu luksavve bae iutufala raoa taem iutufala discussim problem hia, askem eni elder wea iutufala comfortable witim for stap taem iutufala discuss. Hem important for luksavve hao nomata partner hem ovakamim wei for addict lo pornography, hem bae tek taem for iu trustim hem moa. Bat no givap. Luk for samfala smol samting wea impruv lo marit blo iutufala. Taem iutufala patient and garem hope, gogo marit blo iutufala bae kamap strong moa.​—Eccl. 7:8; 1 Cor. 13:4.

HAO IF HEM NO SAVVE STOP?

If hasband blo iu lukluk moa lo pornography, waswe, datwan minim hem no repent or hem hard nao for lusim datfala habit? Nomoa. Especially if hem addict, hem mas deal witim datfala challenge for full laef blo hem. Nomata hem stop for samfala year, maet hem bae lukim moa. For avoidim datwan, hem need for markem samfala limit for hemseleva, and gohed strong for followim nomata hem stop finis for lukluk lo pornography. (Prov. 28:14; Matt. 5:29; 1 Cor. 10:12) Hem need for “gohed for garem wanfala niu tingting” and lane for “heitem olketa ravis wei,” olsem pornography and olketa nara habit wea no klin olsem masturbation. (Eph. 4:23; Ps. 97:10, SIPB; Rome 12:9) Hao hem willing for duim datwan? If olsem, gogo hem bae barava lusim nao datfala habit. e

Focus lo frenship blo iu witim Jehovah

Bat hao if marit partner no laek duim eni samting for lusim datfala nogud habit? Hem normal for iu feel sorre, kros, and for feel olsem hem no lovem iu. For iu garem peace, hem gud for leavim evriting lo hand blo Jehovah. (1 Pet. 5:7) Gohed for fren klos witim Jehovah taem iu duim personal study, prea, and ting raonem wat iu readim. Taem iu duim datwan, iu bae sure hao Jehovah tu hem fren klos witim iu. Olsem Isaiah 57:15 storyim, Jehovah stap witim olketa wea “feel sorre and wea wikdaon,” and hem laek for strongim olketa mekem olketa hapi moa. Duim best blo iu for kamap strongfala Christian. Lukaotem help from olketa elder. And gohed garem hope hao gogo hasband blo iu bae barava lusim datfala nogud habit.​—Rome 2:4; 2 Pet. 3:9.

a Lo disfala article, bae iumi storyim olsem hasband nao lukluk lo pornography. Bat, staka Bible principle insaed bae helpem tu olketa hasband wea waef interest for lukluk lo pornography.

b Bible no sei dat for lukluk lo pornography, hem wanfala reason for divorce.—Matt. 19:9.

c Mifala changem olketa nem.

d Iu savve faendem samfala helpful information lo jw.org and lo olketa pablikeson blo iumi. For example, lukim article “Pornography Can Shatter Your Marriage” lo jw.org; “Iu Savve Winim Samting wea Switim Iu!” lo Wastaoa blo May 1, 2014, page 10-12; and “Pornography​—Waswe, Hem Savve Spoelem Man?” lo Wastaoa blo September 1, 2013, page 3-7.

e Nomata samfala couple kasem finis spiritual help from olketa elder, bikos man savve addict lo pornography, samfala disaed for go lukim olketa expert for kasem help.