1-2. How some guys feel about dating?

 DATING can be one good an fun time. If you dating right now, garuntee you like um go good. An fo plenny coupos, it is one happy time. Tsion, a one sistah from Etiopia tell, “One of da bestes times in my life was wen I wen date my husband. We wen talk about importan tings but we wen have good fun too. I was stoked wen I had see I wen find somebody I love dat loves me too.”

² But Alessio, one braddah from da Netherlands tell, “Was real good fun fo get fo know my wife wen we was dating, but no was easy all da time.” In dis lesson, we going talk about some tings dat can make um hard an some Bible truts dat can help coupos fo be akamai wen dating. Den we also going learn how oddas in da local hui can help da coupos dat stay dating.

DA REASON FO DATING

3. Wass da reason fo dating? (Smart Guys 20:25)

³ Even tho dating can be good fun, az one mayjah step dat can lead to getting married. On dea wedding day, in front Jehovah, one coupo promise fo love an respeck each odda fo az long az dey both live. Befoa making any promise, we gotta tink about um real good. (Read um Smart Guys 20:25.) An az da same fo wen you promise fo be married. Dating gives da coupo chance fo get fo know each odda an fo make one akamai choice. Sometimes dat choice is fo get married, an sometimes dat choice is fo stop dating. If one coupo break up, dis no  mean dat dey wen do someting wrong. Dem dating wen help dem figga out if dey should get married o not.

4. How come we should know da right reason fo dating?

⁴ How come we should know da right reason fo dating? Wen single ones know da right reason fo date, dey no going date somebody dat dey no like marry. But dey not da ony ones dat need fo have da right kine tinking about dating. All us gotta rememba da right reason fo dating. Like, some guys tink if one coupo stay dating, dat mean dey gotta get married. How dis kine tinking affeck single braddahs an sistahs? Melissa, one single sistah in da United States tell, “Get plenny presha fo Witnesses dat stay dating cuz some guys expeck dem fo get married. Cuz a dat, some coupos stay togedda even tho dey not good fo each odda. An odda single guys no like date at all. Da presha can be too much fo hando.”

GET FO KNOW EACH ODDA REAL GOOD

5-6. Wat should one coupo find out about each odda wen dey stay dating? (1 From Peter 3:4)

⁵ If you say dating, wat going help you fo choose fo get married o not? Get fo know each odda real good. Maybe you awready know some tings about da odda person befoa you wen start dating. But now you get chance fo see wat dey stay like fo real kine. (Read um 1 From Peter 3:4.) Wen you stay dating you can learn moa about how dey stay tight wit Jehovah, an how dey tink an ack. Bumbye you should be able fo ansa dese questions, “Dis somebody I like marry o wat?” (Smart Guys 31:26, 27, 30; Efe 5:33; 1 Tim 5:8) “Can we both give each odda da love an attention we need? I can live wit some tings dey do dat bug me?” b (Rome 3:23) Wen you get fo know each odda rememba, you guys no need be same same fo be one good coupo, but wass moa importan is how good you can work togedda even tho you guys stay diffren.

 ⁶ Wen you stay dating wass some odda tings you should learn about dem? Befoa yoa feelings fo da odda person come stronga, you probly like talk about some odda importan tings, like wat kine goals dey get? But wat about personal kine tings like health problems, money kine problems, o bad tings dat wen happen in da pas dat wen affeck dem? No need talk about eryting wen you firs start dating. (Go check John 16:12.) If you no feel ready fo ansa some of dose personal questions, let um know. But if you like marry dem, dey going need fo know dese tings fo make one akamai choice. So going come one time you going need fo be honest an talk about um.

7. How coupos dat stay dating can get fo know each odda? (Go look da box “ Dating Long-Distance.”) (Go look da pichas.)

⁷ How you can get fo know wat dey stay like fo real kine? You can ask each odda questions an lissen real good. (Smart Guys 20:5; Jam 1:19) You both gotta tell how you feel fo real kine an be honest. Maybe you can try do tings togedda dat make um easy fo talk, like eating togedda, walk togedda in public, an go preach togedda. An you can learn about each odda wen you spen time wit frenz an family. An is good fo do tings dat going show you how dey ack in all kine ways wit odda peopo. Try look wat Aschwin from da Netherlands wen try fo do. He talk about dating Alicia an tell, “We wen try do tings dat help us fo learn moa about each odda. Plenny times we jus wen do simpo tings like make food o do chores togedda. Doing dese tings togedda we got fo see da good an bad about each odda.”

8. How studying togedda going help one coupo dat stay dating?

⁸ If you guys study spiritual stuff togedda, dat going help you learn about each odda. Fo make God one importan part of yoa marriage, you gotta make time fo ohana worship. (Teacha 4:12) So try now fo make time fo study togedda wen you stay dating. Wen one coupo stay dating dey not one family yet, so da braddah is not da sistahs head. But wen  you guys have one regula study togedda, you can learn moa about each oddas spirituality. Max an Laysa, one coupo from da United States, wen find one odda good ting about um. He tell, “Right wen we started dating, we had use Bible tools fo study tings about dating, marriage, an family life. Using dose Bible tools wen give us chance fo talk about plenny importan tings dat no would jus come up by itself.”

ODDA TINGS FO TINK ABOUT

9. Wen it comes to telling oddas dey stay dating, wat da coupo should tink about?

⁹ Who you should tell dat you stay dating? Dass fo you guys choose az one coupo. Wen you firs start dating you might choose fo tell ony litto bit peopo. (Smart Guys 17:27) Wen you do dat, dis can help you fo no get asked all kine questions, o get presha fo make one choice. But if you no tell anybody, you might jus be by yoaselfs, an az dangerous fo do dat. So would be akamai fo let some guys know who can give good advice an help you both az one coupo. (Smart Guys 15:22) Like maybe you can tell some peopo in yoa family, solid frenz, o yoa eldas.

10. Wat one coupo can do fo keep dea relationship pono? (Smart Guys 22:3)

¹⁰ Wat one coupo can do fo keep dea relationship pono? Wen yoa feelings grow, az ony natural fo feel moa attracted to each odda. Wat can help you fo no do anyting Jehovah no like? (1 Cor 6:18) Stay away from talking about tings Jehovah no like, no be alone togedda, an no drink plenny. (Efe 5:3) Dese tings can make you like have sex an make um supa hard fo do wass right. So would be akamai fo talk on da regula about wat kine tings you guys can do fo keep yoa relationship pono. (Read um Smart Guys 22:3.) Try look wat wen help Dawit an Almaz from Etiopia. Dey tell, “We would spen time togedda in places wea had plenny peopo o we would cruz wit odda frenz. We was neva by ouaself in one car o house. Cuz we wen do dat, we wen proteck ouaselfs from doing someting wrong.”

11. Wat some tings one coupo should tink about wen come to how dey show dea feelings fo each odda?

¹¹ Wat about showing yoa feelings fo each odda? Some ways might be okay az yoa feelings fo each odda grow. But if dis going make you like have sex, den going be hard fo tink right an make one akamai choice about da odda person. (Love Song 1:2; 2:6) An wen you show yoa feelings can be easy fo lose control an do someting Jehovah no like. (Smart Guys 6:27) So den, wen you firs start dating, talk about wat you guys can an no can do an how dat line up wit Bible truts. c (1 Tess 4:3-7) Az one coupo, ask yoaselfs, “Wat odda peopo would tink about da stuff we do fo show oua feelings az one coupo? Could dese tings make eidda of us like have sex?”

12. If one coupo get problems wen dey dating, wat dey should tink about?

¹² How you can hando problems? Wat if you guys argue sometimes, dat mean you  guys no stay good fo each odda? Nah az not always lidat, cuz all coupos no agree sometimes. Wen two peopo respeck each odda an willing fo work togedda even tho dey no agree, dass wat going make one strong marriage. So how you work thru yoa problems now, can show how good yoa marriage going be. Az one coupo, ask yoaselfs, “Can we be calm an show each odda respeck wen we talk tings thru? We fas fo tell wen we stay wrong an try fo do betta? We fas fo no be hard head, say sorry, an fogive?” (Efe 4:31, 32) If you guys argue an no agree on tings all da time wen you stay dating, den probly tings no going get betta wen you get married. If you figga out dat da odda person no stay right fo you, den would be bes fo both of you fo stop dating each odda. d

13. Wat going help one coupo figga out how long fo date?

¹³ How long you should date? Wen we no take enuff time fo tink about wat we should do, mos times tings no go too good. (Smart Guys 21:5) So you should date long enuff fo get fo know each odda real good. But you no should keep dating any longa den need to. Da Bible tell, “Wen you wait long time fo someting good, an no get um, make you lose fight an come sick.” (Smart Guys 13:12) An da longa you guys stay togedda, da moa hard going be fo hold back an no have sex. (1 Cor 7:9) Instead of ony tinking about how long you guys been togedda, try ask yoaself, “Wat I still gotta learn about da odda person befoa I choose wat fo do?”

HOW ODDAS CAN HELP COUPOS DASS DATING?

14. How we can help out one coupo dat stay dating? (Go look da picha.)

¹⁴ If we know one coupo dat stay dating, how we can help dem? Maybe we can invite dem fo come eat wit us, fo ohana worship, o do someting fun. (Rome 12:13) Doing dose tings can help dem fo get fo know each odda moa betta. Maybe you can help dem if dey need one chaperone, need somebody ride in da car wit dem, o can invite dem ova so dey can talk in private. (Gal 6:10) Alicia, who we wen talk about befoa, talk about  wat her an Aschwin was tankful fo. She tell, “We was supa happy wen some braddahs an sistahs wen tell we could visit dem fo be togedda but not all by ouaselfs.” If dey ask you fo be one chaperone, tink of um az one good way fo help yoa frenz. Make shua fo no leave dem all by demself fo do dea own ting, but same time know wen fo let dem talk in private.​—Php 2:4.

15. Wat odda tings frenz can do fo help one coupo dat stay dating? (Smart Guys 12:18)

¹⁵ We can help coupos dat stay dating by da tings we say o no say. Sometimes we gotta pump da brakes an no say notting at all. (Read um Smart Guys 12:18.) Like sometimes we might get excited fo tell oddas dat one coupo stay dating, but maybe da coupo like tell peopo demselfs. We no should gossip about one coupo dat stay dating, o judge dem about stuff dey choose fo do. (Smart Guys 20:19; Rome 14:10; 1 Tess 4:11) Anodda ting, no say stuff o ask questions dat going presha dem fo get married. One sistah name Elise an her husband wen tell, “Was so awkward wen oddas wen ask us about oua wedding but we neva even wen talk about um yet.”

16. How we should ack if one coupo break up?

¹⁶ Wat if one coupo choose fo break up? No be niele an ask all kine personal questions o try fo find out whose fault was fo da break up. (1 Pet 4:15) One sistah named Lea tell, “I wen hear dat peopo was talking about all kine reasons why me an one braddah had break up, an dat wen really hurt me.” Wen one coupo stop dating, dat no mean automatic dat dey wen fail. Mos times, it jus means dat dating wen help dem fo figga how fo make one akamai choice. Still yet, maybe choosing not fo be togedda wen leave dem feeling sad an all alone. So we can look fo ways fo help an be dea fo dem.​—Smart Guys 17:17.

17. Wat should coupos dat stay dating keep doing?

¹⁷ We wen see in da lesson dat dating no always stay easy, but it can be good fun too. Jessica tell, “Straight up, dating was hard work. But it was worth it fo put in da time an work fo get fo know each odda.” If you dating, keep getting fo know each odda real good. If you do, den dating going help both of you fo make one akamai choice.