Anthu ena amati sanagonanepo ndi munthu wina.

 Iwo amanena zimenezi chifukwa choti sanagonanepo ndi wina m’njira yeniyeni yogonanira, ngakhale kuti amachita zinthu zina zokhudzana ndi kugonana.

 Koma mawu akuti “kugonana” angatanthauze zinthu monga kugonana m’kamwa, kugonana kumatako, ngakhalenso kuseweretsa maliseche a munthu wina.

 Mfundo yofunika kwambiri: Munthu amene tinganene kuti sanagonanepo ndi munthu wina ndi yemwe sanachitepo zilizonse zokhudzana ndi kugonana, monga kugonana m’kamwa, kugonana kumatako, kapena kuseweretsa maliseche a munthu wina.

 Baibulo limanena kuti anthu okhawo amene ayenera kugonana ndi mwamuna ndi mkazi okwatirana. (Miyambo 5:18) Choncho, munthu aliyense amene akufuna kusangalatsa Mulungu ayenera kupewa kugonana mpaka atalowa m’banja.​—1 Atesalonika 4:​3-5.

 Anthu ena amati zimene Baibulo limanena pa nkhaniyi n’zachikale ndipo sizingagwire ntchito masiku ano. Koma kumbukirani kuti masiku ano mabanja ambiri akutha, anthu ambiri akutenga mimba zapathengo komanso akutenga matenda opatsirana pogonana. Izi zikusonyezeratu kuti anthu a m’dziko loipali sangatipatse malangizo othandiza pa nkhani yokhudza kugonana komanso makhalidwe abwino.​—1 Yohane 2:​15-17.

 Mukaganizira zimenezi, n’zoonekeratu kuti mfundo za m’Baibulo n’zothandiza kwambiri. Mwachitsanzo: Tiyerekezere kuti winawake wakupatsani ndalama zokwana madola 1,000 ngati mphatso. Kodi mungakwere padenga la nyumba n’kuponya m’mwamba ndalamazo n’cholinga choti aliyense amene akudutsa m’njira azitole?

 Zinthu ngati zimenezi zingachitikenso pa nkhani yokhudza kugonana. Mtsikana wina wazaka 14 dzina lake Sierra anati: “Sindingalole kuwononga mphatso imene Mulungu anandipatsa kuti ndidzaigwiritse ntchito ndikadzalowa m’banja. Sindingayerekeze kuipereka kwa munthu amene sindikumudziwa yemwenso pakapita zaka, sindingakumbukire n’komwe dzina lake.” Nayenso Tammy, mtsikana wazaka 17, ananena maganizo ake ogwirizana ndi zimenezi. Iye anati: “Kugonana ndi mphatso yapadera kwambiri ndipo sindingangoipereka kwa wina aliyense.”

 Mfundo yofunika kwambiri: Baibulo limalimbikitsa anthu amene sanalowe m’banja kuti azipewa kugonana komanso kuchita makhalidwe ena oipa.​—1 Akorinto 6:18; 7:​8, 9.

•   Kodi inuyo mumakhulupirira kuti zimene Baibulo limanena pa nkhani ya kugonana n’zothandiza kapena n’zopanikiza?

•   Kodi mumakhulupirira kuti anthu awiri amene sanakwatirane, omwe amakondana kwambiri, akhoza kumagonana?

 Achinyamata ambiri ataganizira nkhaniyi mozama, aona kuti kupewa kugonana asanalowe m’banja komanso kupitiriza kukhala ndi makhalidwe abwino, n’kothandiza kwambiri. Iwo sanong’oneza bondo kuti anasankha molakwika ndiponso saona kuti akumanidwa zinazake zabwino. Taonani zimene ena mwa achinyamata amenewa ananena:

•  “Ndimasangalala kwambiri chifukwa sindinagonepo ndi munthu chibadwire. Zimenezi zandithandiza kuti ndisamavutike ndi zinthu zimene anthu omwe amagonana asanalowe m’banja amavutika nazo. Mwachitsanzo, ambiri amavutika maganizo, amatenga matenda komanso amanong’oneza bondo.”​—Emily.

•  “Ndikaganizira zoti ndilibe matenda opatsirana pogonana, ndimasangalala kwambiri. Izi zili choncho chifukwa sindinakhalepo ndi zibwenzi zimene ndinkagonana nazo.”​—Elaine.

•  “Ndamvapo atsikana ambiri a msinkhu wangawu komanso ena okulirapo akudandaula kuti sanachite bwino kugonana ndi munthu, moti amaona kuti akanachita bwino akanadikira. Ine sindikufuna kuti zoterezi zindichitikire.”​—Vera.

•  “Ndaonapo anthu ambiri amene amanong’oneza bondo chifukwa chogonana asanalowe m’banja kapena chifukwa chogonana ndi anthu ambirimbiri. Ineyo ndimaona kuti moyo woterewu ndi wosasangalatsa.”​—Deanne.

 Mfundo yofunika kwambiri: Mukufunika kumadziwa bwino zimene mumakhulupirira musanakumane ndi mayesero kapena oti muchite zachiwerewere.​—Yakobo 1:​14, 15.

 Kodi munganene chiyani ngati winawake atakufunsani zimene mumakhulupirira pa nkhani yokhudza kugonana? Choyamba, zimadalira kwambiri mmene zinthu zilili pa nthawiyo.

 “Ngati munthuyo akungofuna kundinyoza basi, sindingakhale pamalo omwewo. Ndikhoza kumuyankha kuti, ‘Zimene ndimakhulupirira pa nkhaniyi si zikukukhudza,’ kenako n’kuchokapo.”​—Corinne.

 “Anthu ena kusukulu amakonda kuvutitsa anzawo basi. Ngati anthu atandifunsa pofuna kungondivutitsa basi, sindingawayankhe n’komwe.”​—David.

 Kodi Mukudziwa? Nthawi zina Yesu ankangokhala chete anthu akamamunyoza.​—Mateyu 26:​62, 63.

 Koma nanga bwanji ngati munthu amene akukufunsaniyo akufunadi kudziwa? Ngati mukuona kuti munthuyo akhoza kulemekeza zimene Baibulo limanena, mungamuuze mavesi monga 1 Akorinto 6:18. Vesi limeneli limanena kuti anthu amene akugonana asanakwatirane akuchimwira thupi lawo.

 Muzikumbukira kuti ndi bwino kulankhula molimba mtima, kaya mukugwiritsa ntchito Baibulo kapena ayi. Musaiwalenso kuti zimene munasankha, zoti musagonane ndi munthu aliyense mpaka mutalowa m’banja, n’zonyaditsa kwambiri.​—1 Petulo 3:16.

 “Ukamayankha molimba mtima umasonyeza kuti sukukayikira zimene umakhulupirira. Umasonyezanso kuti umachita zimene unasankhazo chifukwa umadziwa kuti n’zoyenera, osati chifukwa ena anakuuza.”​—Jill.

 Mfundo yofunika kwambiri: Ukamatsatira molimba mtima zimene umakhulupirira pa nkhani yokhudza kugonana, suvutika kufotokozera ena. Komanso anthu ena angamakulemekeze kwambiri. Mtsikana wina wazaka 21 dzina lake Melinda anati: “Anzanga akuntchito amandiyamikira chifukwa sindinagonanepo ndi munthu chibadwire. Sikuti iwo amandiona ngati munthu wopepera koma amaona kuti ndine wodziletsa komanso wakhalidwe labwino.”

 Zimene zingakuthandizeni: Ngati mukufunikira kuthandizidwa kuti muzifotokoza molimba mtima zimene mumakhulupirira pa nkhani yokhudza kugonana, koperani nkhani yakuti “Mmene Mungafotokozere Ena Zimene Mumakhulupirira pa Nkhani ya Kugonana” pagawo lakuti “Zoti Muchite.” Werenganinso nkhani zotsatirazi:

•    “Kodi Kugonana Tili Pachibwenzi Kungachititse Kuti Tizikondana Kwambiri?” (Galamukani! April 2010, tsamba 26)

•    “N’chifukwa Chiyani Sindiyenera Kugonana ndi Aliyense Mpaka N’talowa M’banja?” (Mutu 5 wa buku lakuti Mayankho a Zimene Achinyamata Amafunsa, Buku Lachiwiri)

 “Mfundo zimene zatchulidwa m’mabuku a ‘Zimene Achinyamata Amadzifunsa’ n’zothandiza kwambiri. Mwachitsanzo, patsamba 187 la buku loyamba pali chithunzi chosonyeza kuti kugonana musanalowe m’banja kuli ngati kupereka mwa ulele nekilesi yodula kwambiri. anthu omwe amachita khalidwe limeneli amadzitchipitsa. Chithunzi chomwe chili patsamba 177 chikusonyeza kuti kugonana ndi munthu amene simunakwatirane naye kuli ngati kutenga chithunzi chokongola kwambiri n’kuchisandutsa chopondapo. Koma chithunzi chomwe chimandisangalatsa kwambiri chili patsamba 54 la buku lachiwiri. Mawu ofotokozera chithunzichi amati: ‘Kugonana ndi munthu musanalowe m’banja, kuli ngati kutsegula mphatso musanapatsidwe.’ Zimakhala ngati ukuba mphatso ya munthu yemwe mudzakwatirane naye.”​—Victoria.