1-2. Labanye bativa njani nabakhumbula ngalesikhatsi basacala kutsandzana?

 SIKHATSI sekutsandzana nalotsite singaba sikhatsi lesimnandzi nalesijabulisako. Nangabe nyalo utsandzana nalotsite, siyaciniseka kutsi ufuna kutsi konkhe kuhambe kahle. Kulabanyenti kuhamba kahle. Lomunye dzadze wase-Ethiopia, lokutsiwa nguTsion, a utsi: “Lesinye sikhatsi lesimnandzi lengaba naso kungalesikhatsi mine nendvodza yami sicala kutsandzana. Besicoca ngetindzaba letibalulekile, futsi besijabulile. Ngajabula nangibona kutsi besengimtfolile umuntfu lengimtsandzako futsi naye longitsandzako.”

² Nobe kunjalo, lomunye umzalwane waseNetherlands lokutsiwa ngu-Alessio, utsi: “Ngakujabulela kumati kahle umkami ngesikhatsi sisacala kutsandzana, kodvwa besinato netinkinga kulobudlelwane betfu.” Kulesihloko, sitawucoca ngaletinye tinkinga lokungenteka babe nato laba lababili nangaletinye timiso letiseBhayibhelini letingabasita kuze baphumelele. Sitawuphindze sicoce ngekutsi yini labanye ebandleni labangayenta kuze babasekele.

INJONGO YEKUGANANA

3. Iyini injongo yekuganana? (Taga 20:25)

³ Nanobe sikhatsi sekuganana kungaba sikhatsi lesimnandzi, kodvwa siphindze sibe sikhatsi lesibalulekile ngobe singenta kutsi laba lababili bashade. Ngelilanga labo lemshado, bafunga embikwaJehova kutsi batawutsandzana futsi bahloniphane uma  nje bobabili basaphila. Ngaphambi kwekutsi sente nobe ngabe ngusiphi sifungo, kufanele sicabangisise ngaso. (Fundza Taga 20:25.) Loko kuyintfo lefanako nangesifungo semshado. Sikhatsi sekuganana senta kutsi laba lababili batane kahle futsi bente sincumo lesihlakaniphile. Ngalesinye sikhatsi lesincumo siba kushada kantsi ngalesinye sikhatsi siba kutsi bancamule budlelwane babo. Nangabe behlukana, loko akusho kutsi kukhona lokubi labakwentile. Kunaloko, lesikhatsi sekuganana siyidlalile indzima yaso, sibasite kutsi bente sincumo lesihlakaniphile.

4. Kubaluleke ngani kutsi sibe nembono lokahle ngesikhatsi sekuganana?

⁴ Kubaluleke ngani kutsi sibe nembono lokahle ngesikhatsi sekuganana? Nangabe longakashadi anembono lokahle, angeke atsandzane nemuntfu lete sifiso sekushada naye. Nobe kunjalo, akusibo labangakashadi kuphela lokufanele babe nembono lokahle. Sonkhe kufanele sibe nembono lokahle ngesikhatsi sekuganana. Sibonelo nje, labanye bacabanga kutsi nangabe bantfu lababili batsandzana, kufanele nakanjani bashade. Loku kuwatsintsa njani emaKhristu langakashadi? Lomunye dzadze waseMelika lokutsiwa nguMelissa utsi: “Nangabe umzalwane nadzadze baganene, labanye boFakazi balindzela kutsi bashade. Ngenca yaloko labanye bachubeke nalobudlelwane babo ngisho bangalungelani. Kantsi labanye labangakashadi bancuma kungatsandzani nalotsite sanhlobo. Loku kungenta kutsi labanye bacindzeteleke kakhulu.”

MATI KAHLE LOYO LOFUNA KUSHADA NAYE

5-6. Yini labo labatsandzanako lokufanele bayati ngalomunye nalomunye? (1 Phetro 3:4)

⁵ Nangabe utsandzana nalotsite, yini letakusita kutsi uncume kutsi ushade yini nalomuntfu nobe cha? Kutsi natane kahle. Kungenteka tikhona tintfo lobewutati ngaye ngaphambi kwekutsi nicale kutsandzana. Kodvwa nyalo sewunelitfuba lelihle lekutsi wati ‘loko lokusenhlitiyweni.’ (Fundza 1 Phetro 3:4.) Loku kufaka ekhatsi kwati kutsi bunjani buhlobo bakhe naJehova, buntfu bakhe kanye nendlela lacabanga ngayo. Ngekuhamba kwesikhatsi kufanele ukhone kuphendvula imibuto lenjengaletsi: ‘Lomuntfu lengifuna kushada naye uyangilungela yini?’ (Taga 31:26, 27, 30; Ef. 5:33; 1 Thim. 5:8) ‘Ngitawukhona yini kumtsandza futsi ngimnake, naye ente lokufanako kimi? Ngitawukhona yini kungawanaki emaphutsa  akhe?’ b (Rom. 3:23) Njengobe natana, naku lokufanele ukukhumbule: Lokubaluleke kakhulu akusito tintfo lenifana ngato, kodvwa kutsi nitawukhona yini kuphila kanye kanye, nibe ninetintfo leningafani ngato.

⁶ Ngesikhatsi sekuganana, yini lenye lokufanele uyati ngalona lotsandzana naye? Ngaphambi kwekutsi ube nemiva lejulile yelutsandvo, kungaba kuhle kutsi nikhulume ngaletinye tintfo letibalulekile letinjengemigomo. Kodvwa kutsiwani ngaletinye tintfo letifaka ekhatsi tindzaba temphilo, tinkinga tetimali, nobe tintfo letimbi letenteke kuye esikhatsini lesendlulile letitsintsa indlela lacabanga ngayo, lativa ngayo nobe lenta ngayo? Akusito tonkhe tindzaba lokufanele ticocwe nanicala nje kutsandzana. (Catsanisa naJohane 16:12.) Nangabe ubona kutsi nisandza kucala kutsandzana kutsi ungaphendvula leminye imibuto letsintsa kuphila kwakho, mtjele lona lotsandzana naye. Nobe kunjalo, njengobe sikhatsi sihamba, kufanele ugcine umtjelile kuze akhone kwenta sincumo lesikahle. Ngako sitawufika sikhatsi lapho kutawudzingeka umbhobokele khona.

7. Yini labo labaganene labangayenta kuze batane kahle? (Buka libhokosi lelitsi: “ Nangabe Utsandzana Nemuntfu Lohlala Khashane.”) (Buka netitfombe.)

⁷ Yini longayenta kuze umati kahle lona lotsandzana naye? Indlela lencono kutsi ungamfihleli lutfo, umtjele konkhe futsi umbute imibuto, bese uyalalelisisa njengobe akhuluma. (Taga 20:5; Jak. 1:19) Lokunye lokungakusita kutsi nente tintfo letitawunenta kutsi nicoce, letifaka ekhatsi kudla ndzawonye, kuhambahamba etindzaweni letinebantfu nekushumayela ndzawonye. Ningaphindze natane kahle nangabe nicitsa sikhatsi nebangani kanye nemalunga emndeni. Ngetulu kwaloko, hlelani tintfo leningatenta letitanisita nibone kutsi lomunye wenta njani nakabhekene netimo letehlukene futsi anebantfu labehlukahlukene. Naka naku lokwentiwa ngu-Aschwin waseNetherlands. Naku lakushoko nakakhuluma ngesikhatsi basacala kutsandzana na-Alicia, utsi: “Besenta tintfo letitasisita kutsi satane kahle. Ngalokuvamile bekuba tintfo letincane, njengekupheka ndzawonye nobe kwenta leminye imisebenti ndzawonye. Letintfo betisenta sibone kutsi ngamunye wetfu ngukuphi lakwenta kahle nalapho abutsakatsaka khona.”

8. Kudadisha ndzawonye kungabasita njani labaganene?

 ⁸ Ningaphindze natane ngekutsi nidadishe ndzawonye tihloko letisekelwe eBhayibhelini. Nasenishadile, kutawudzingeka nibe nesikhatsi sekukhonta kwemndeni, kuze Nkulunkulu abe yincenye yemshado wenu. (Shu. 4:12) Ngako ningakha sikhatsi sekutsi nidadishe ndzawonye nyalo, loku niseganene. Kuliciniso kutsi labo labaganene basuke basengakabi ngumndeni, futsi umzalwane usuke asengakabi yinhloko yalodzadze. Nobe kunjalo, kuhlale nidadisha ndzawonye kutanisita nibone kutsi ngamunye wenu unebuhlobo lobunjani naJehova. Labanye labashadene baseMelika, lokunguMax naLisa bakutfole kulusito loku. Max utsi: “Nasisandza kucala kutsandzana, sacala kudadisha tincwadzi lebetikhuluma ngekutsandzana, umshado kanye nekuphila kwemndeni. Letincwadzi letisekelwe eBhayibhelini tasisita sakhona kucoca ngetindzaba letinyenti letibalulekile lebekutawuba matima kucoca ngato.”

LOKUNYE LOKUFANELE NICABANGE NGAKO

9. Ngutiphi letinye tintfo labo labaganene lokufanele bacabange ngato nabancuma kutsi bobani labatawubatjela kutsi bayatsandzana?

⁹ Bobani lokufanele nibatjele kutsi niyatsandzana? Leso sincumo senu. Nanisandza kucala kutsandzana, kungenteka nincume kutjela bantfu labambalwa. (Taga 17:27) Loko kunganisita kutsi nigweme imibuto leminyenti kanye nekucindzetelwa kutsi nente sincumo. Nobe kunjalo, nangabe ningatjeli muntfu, ningagcine nicitsa sikhatsi ninobabili ngobe nesaba kutsi labanye batawubona kutsi niyatsandzana. Loko kungaba yingoti. Ngako kungaba kuhlakanipha kutsi lokungenani nitjele labo labanganeluleka kahle futsi banisite ngetindlela letehlukahlukene. (Taga 15:22) Sibonelo nje, ningatjela emalunga emndeni, bangani labavutsiwe nobe labadzala belibandla.

10. Yini labo labaganene labangayenta kuze bahlale batiphatsa ngendlela lejabulisa Jehova? (Taga 22:3)

¹⁰ Yini leningayenta kuze nihlale nitiphatsa ngendlela lejabulisa Jehova? Njengobe niya ngekutsandzana kakhulu, kungekwemvelo kutsi nikhangane kakhulu. Yini letanisita kutsi nigweme kwenta tintfo letingeke timjabulise Jehova? (1 Khor. 6:18) Kugwemeni kukhuluma ngetintfo letingcolile, kuba nodvwana nekunatsa kakhulu tjwala. (Ef. 5:3) Letintfo tingavusa inkhanuko futsi tente kube matima kutsi nente lokulungile. Kungaba kuhlakanipha kutsi nihlale nicoca ngekutsi yini lenitawuyenta kuze nihlale nihloniphana futsi nihloniphe netimiso taJehova. (Fundza Taga 22:3.) Naka naku lokwasita Dawit na-Almaz base-Ethiopia. Batsi: “Besicitsa sikhatsi ndzawonye etindzaweni letinebantfu labanyenti nobe sibe nebangani. Besingabi sodvwana emotweni nobe endlini. Loko kwasisita sagwema timo lebetingasilinga.”

11. Ngutiphi tintfo labo labaganene lekufanele bacabange ngato nabancuma kutsi yini labatayenta kuze bakhombisane kutsi bayatsandzana?

¹¹ Kutsiwani ngekukhombisana lutsandvo? Letinye tintfo ningatenta njengobe budlelwane benu bukhula. Kodvwa nangabe kuvuka sifiso lesikhulu sekuya ecansini, kutawuba matima kwenta sincumo lesihlakaniphile. (Ngo. 1:2; 2:6) Tintfo lenitentako kuze nikhombisane kutsi niyatsandzana tingaphuma kamelula esandleni futsi tiholele ekutiphatseni kabi. (Taga 6:27) Ngako nanisandza kucala kutsandzana, cocani ngemincele lenitatibekela yona levumelana netimiso teliBhayibheli. c (1 Thes. 4:3-7) Ningatibuta nayi imibuto: ‘Bantfu emmangweni batawutiva njani nabasibona senta loko lokukhombisa kutsi siyatsandzana? Letintfo angeke yini tisivusele inkhanuko?’

12. Yini labo labatsandzanako lokufanele bayinake mayelana netinkinga nekungevani ngesikhatsi sekuganana?

 ¹² Ningaticatulula njani tinkinga nekungevani? Yini leningayenta nangabe nihle ningavumelani? Loku kusho kutsi anilungelani yini? Cha, bonkhe bantfu labatsandzanako bahle baba netinkinga. Umshado locinile wakhiwa bantfu lababili labakhona kubambisana kuze bacatulule tinkinga. Ngako indlela lenicatulula ngayo tinkinga nyalo ingakhombisa kutsi umshado wenu utawuphumelela yini. Naku leningatibuta kona: ‘Siyakhona yini kulungisa tinkinga ngemoya lophansi nangenhlonipho? Siyawavuma yini emaphutsa etfu futsi setame kuwalungisa? Siyashesha yini kwemukela umbono walolomunye, sicolise futsi sitsetselele?’ (Ef. 4:31, 32) Nanobe kunjalo, nangabe nihlale ningavumelani nobe niphikisana naniseganene kungenteka lesimo singashintji ngisho senishadile. Nawubona kutsi lomuntfu akakulungeli, kucedza lobudlelwane kungaba sincumo lesihle lesinganisita nobabili. d

13. Yini lengasita laba labatsandzanako kutsi bancume kutsi sitawuba nganani sikhatsi sabo sekuganana?

¹³ Kufanele sibe sidze kangakanani sikhatsi senu sekuganana? Nangabe singatiniki sikhatsi lesenele kuze sicabange ngesincumo lokufanele sisente, loko kungaba nemiphumela lemibi. (Taga 21:5) Ngako sikhatsi sekuganana kufanele sibe sidze ngalokwenele kuze umati kahle lona lomunye umuntfu. Nanobe kunjalo, akukafaneli nisente sibe sidze kakhulu ngalokungenasidzingo. LiBhayibheli litsi: “Nangabe solo kungenteki loko umuntfu lakulindzele, ubese ulahlekelwa litsemba.” (Taga 13:12) Ngetulu kwaloko, njengobe sikhatsi sihamba, kungenta kube matima kakhulu kutsi nimelane nesifiso sekuya ecansini. (1 Khor. 7:9) Kunekutsi unake kutsi sesidze kangakanani sikhatsi nitsandzana, ungatibuta: ‘Kukhona yini lokunye lokusadzingeka ngikwati ngalomuntfu ngaphambi kwekutsi ngente sincumo?’

YINI LABANYE LABANGAYENTA KUZE BASITE LABO LABAGANENE?

14. Ngutiphi tindlela labanye labangatisebentisa kuze basite labo labaganene? (Buka nesitfombe.)

¹⁴ Nangabe bakhona labaganene lesibatiko, yini lesingayenta kuze sibasite? Singabamema kutsi batawudla natsi, babe khona ekukhonteni kwemndeni nobe babe natsi nasitijabulisa. (Rom. 12:13) Kuleto timo bangatfola litfuba lekwatana kancono. Bayamdzinga yini umuntfu wesitsatfu, kwekuhamba nobe indzawo lapho bangakhuluma khona? Nangabe kunjalo, singabasita  yini? (Gal. 6:10) Alicia, lesike sakhuluma ngaye ukhumbula loko yena na-Aschwin bebakujabulela. Utsi: “Besijabula kakhulu nangabe labanye bazalwane nabodzadze batsi singabavakashela nasidzinga kucitsa sikhatsi ndzawonye kodvwa sibe nebantfu.” Nangabe labaganene bakucela kutsi ube kanye nabo, loko kutsatse njengendlela yekusita bangani bakho. Ciniseka kutsi awubashiyi bodvwa kodvwa sebentisa kucondza nawubona kutsi badzinga sikhatsi sekukhuluma tindzaba tabo.​—Fil. 2:4.

15. Yini lenye lesingayenta kuze sisite labo labaganene? (Taga 12:18)

¹⁵ Singaphindze sibasite labaganene ngaloko lesikushoko nangaloko lesingakusho. Ngalesinye sikhatsi kungahle kudzingeke sitibambe. (Fundza Taga 12:18.) Sibonelo nje, kungenteka sifise kutjela labanye kutsi laba lababili sebayatsandzana kodvwa utfole kutsi bebafuna kube ngibo labatjela bantfu loko. Akukafaneli sibahlebe laba labaganene nobe sibasole ngetindzaba letitsintsa bona. (Taga 20:19; Rom. 14:10; 1 Thes. 4:11) Ngetulu kwaloko, akukafaneli sisho tintfo nobe sibute imibuto letawenta bative bacindzeletekile kutsi bashade. Lomunye dzadze lokutsiwa ngu-Elise ukhumbula loko lokwenteka kuye nendvodza yakhe, utsi: “Besitiva sinemahloni nangabe labanye basibuta mayelana naloko lesikuhlelile ngemshado wetfu sibe singakacali kukhuluma ngako.”

16. Yini lokufanele siyente nangabe labaganene bancuma kwehlukana?

¹⁶ Kutsiwani nangabe laba labaganene bancuma kuncamula budlelwane babo? Kufanele sikugweme kubuta imibuto lengasifaki nobe sisole lona lomunye kutsi nguye lowente lobudlelwane baphela. (1 Phet. 4:15) Lomunye dzadze lokutsiwa nguLea utsi: “Ngeva kutsi labanye bebacabanga tizatfu lokungenteka tenta mine nalomunye umzalwane sehlukana, futsi loko kwangivisa buhlungu kakhulu.” Njengobe kuke kwavetwa, nangabe labaganene bancuma kwehlukana, akukafaneli sicabange kutsi bente sincumo lesikabi. Ngalokuvamile, kusuke kusho kutsi lesikhatsi sekuganana kwabo siyifezile injongo yako, lokukusita laba lababili kutsi bente sincumo lesikahle. Nobe kunjalo, kungenteka lesincumo sibavise buhlungu futsi sabashiya banesitunge. Ngako singafuna tindlela tekubasekela.​—Taga 17:17.

17. Yini labaganene lokufanele bachubeke bayenta?

¹⁷ Njengobe sesibonile, labaganene bangaba nato tinkinga, kodvwa ngesikhatsi lesifanako bangaba naso sikhatsi lesimnandzi. Jessica utsi: “Nangikhuluma liciniso, sikhatsi sekuganana besingumsebenti. Kodvwa ngajabula kutsi sasebentisa lesikhatsi nemandla etfu kuze satane kahle.” Nangabe niseganene, chubekani nisebentisa leso sikhatsi kuze natane kahle. Nanenta njalo, leso sikhatsi sitanisita kutsi nobabili nente sincumo lesihlakaniphile.