You’ve been dating for awhile, but you’re starting to have doubts. Should you continue the relationship or end it? This article is designed to help you decide.

In this article

•  Dealing with doubts

•  Making the decision

•  If you decide to break up

 After dating for awhile, a young man and woman might discover that they’re not as alike as they had first thought. For example:

•   One enjoys being at the beach; the other prefers hiking.

•   One is an extrovert; the other is reserved.

•   One tends to be deceitful; the other is always honest.

 Note that each of those scenarios is different. The first involves mismatched interests; the second involves mismatched traits; the third involves mismatched values.

 To think about: Which of those three factors would you find most difficult to deal with if the two of you were to get married? Which, if any, could you both compromise on?

 A husband and wife can differ in their interests or traits, yet still have a happy marriage. After all, being compatible doesn’t mean being identical. In some cases, a husband and wife learn to share each other’s interests or even benefit from each other’s traits. a

 On the other hand, it is vital that the person you marry share your values—your spiritual, moral, and ethical convictions. If he or she does not, that is definitely a red flag.

 For example, consider mismatched religious values. The book Fighting for Your Marriage says: “Research consistently shows that mixed-faith couples are much more likely to divorce.”

 Bible principle: “Do not try to work together as equals with unbelievers, for it cannot be done.”—2 Corinthians 6:14, Good News Translation.

 The Bible says that those who marry “will have pain and grief.” (1 Corinthians 7:28, The New English Bible) So don’t be surprised if you have some of that now, while you’re dating.

 Minor conflicts don’t always mean that the relationship is doomed. The question is, Can you resolve them peacefully? You will both definitely need that skill if you get married.

 Bible principle: “Become kind to one another, tenderly compassionate, freely forgiving one another.”—Ephesians 4:32.

 On the other hand, frequent or serious disagreements could indicate that the two of you are just not compatible. If that is the case, it’s better to find out now rather than later!

 The bottom line: If you have serious doubts about the person you are dating or even about your readiness for marriage, don’t ignore those doubts!

 Bible principle: “The shrewd one sees the danger and conceals himself, but the inexperienced keep right on going and suffer the consequences.”—Proverbs 22:3.

 A breakup can be painful. However, if one or both of you have persistent, serious concerns about the relationship, it may be best to end it.

 How should you go about doing that? Unless circumstances make it advisable, it’s best not to break up by means of a text message or an email. Instead, choose an appropriate time and place to discuss this serious matter together.

 Bible principle: “Speak the truth with one another.”—Zechariah 8:16.

 Does a breakup mean that you are a failure? Not at all. Remember, dating should help you make a decision—whether to marry the person or not. Even if a relationship ends, you can still learn valuable lessons from the experience.

 Ask yourself: ‘What have I learned about myself from this relationship? Has the experience revealed any areas in which I need to grow? What would I do differently if I chose to date again?’