1-2. Xwɛ̀ nyɔ ɖíɛ ɓè hwòɖò nyu nìɛ̀ ɓá ɓéeín-kpɔ̃-kpɔ̃ jè dyíɛ́?

 DATING that happy time and it can be enjoyable. If you dating now-now, we sure you want enjoy it. And plenty people can enjoy dating. One sister name Tsion, a from Ethiopia, say: “One of the time I was really happy in my life, that the time me and my husband were dating. We use to talk about important things and we also use to joke with each other. I was happy to know that I na find somebody who I love, and who love me too.”

² But one brother name Alessio from the Netherlands, say, “I really enjoy getting to know my wife when we were dating, but we also face some problems.” In this article, we will talk about some problems people who dating can face, and some Bible principles that can help them to be successful. We will also talk about how other people in the congregation can support those who dating.

ƁÉEÍN-KPƆ̃-KPƆ̃ XWÍNÍÍN

3. Ðɛ́ mɔ̀ ɓéeín-kpɔ̃-kpɔ̃ xwíníín nyɛ́? (Nɔ́ɔ́ 20:25)

³ Even though dating can be enjoyable, but it serious because it possible that it can lead to marriage. On their wedding day, marry people can vow before Jehovah, that throughout their life, they will love and respect each other. Before we make any vow, we must think about it good-good. (Read Proverbs 20:25.) That the same thing with marriage vow. Dating can allow two people to get to know each other and to make good decision. Sometime that decision can be to get marry, and sometime it can be to end the relationship. If the two people who dating break up, it not  mean that their dating fail. But it can help them to decide whether they must get marry or not.

4. Xwíníínɔ̀ nyɛ́ kɔ̃̀ jè à mɛ gmɔ̀à ɖíí-gàà kè ɖíí-màà ɖò ɓɛ́ ɔ kpɔ̃ ɓéeín nyɛɛ dya dyí-sɛ́ɖɛ́ìn-kà kɛ́?

⁴ Why it important to get the right view about dating? If single people get the right view about dating, they will not start dating somebody who they know they will not marry. That not only single people need to get the right view about dating. All of us must remember the reason for dating. For example, some people can think that when two people dating, they force to get marry. How this thinking can affect single Christians? One single sister name Melissa, in America say: “When two people dating, some brothers and sisters can be expecting them to get marry. And because of that, some people can continue dating even when they know that they not good for each other. Other single people can avoid dating altogether. The pressure can be too much.”

ƁÈ MƐ DYUEÌN-DYUÈÌN DYÍ NƆ̀MƆ̀ DYÍIN

5-6. Ðɛ́ ɓè ɖíí-gàà kè ɖíí-màà ɖò ɓɛ́ wa kpɔ̃ ɓéeín nyɛɛ mɛ vɔ̃ ɓɛ́ wa ké jè cɛ̃́ ɓá wa muè ɖò jè dyíɛ́? (1 Píɖɛ̀ 3:4)

⁵ If you dating now-now, wetin will help you to decide whether to get marry or not? Try to know each other good-good. Before you started dating, maybe you already know some things about the other person. But now you get the opportunity to know “the secret person of the heart.” (Read 1 Peter 3:4.) This one mean getting to know more about the person you want marry like their spirituality, personality, and the way they can think. After some time, you must be able to answer questions like: ‘This person will be good marriage mate for me?’ (Prov. 31:​26, 27, 30; Eph. 5:33; 1 Tim. 5:8) ‘We able to give each other the love and attention we need? It easy for us to overlook each other mistake?’ b (Rom. 3:23) When yor getting to know each other, remember that: For two people to be happy together as husband and wife, not depend on the things they get in common, but it mainly depend on how you will be able to live with each other different-different ways.

⁶ What other things you must know about the other person when yor dating? Before you start liking the person too  much, it will be good for yor to talk about some important things like, the person goals in life. But what about personal things like health problem, money problem, or the bad things that happen to the person in the past? When you just start dating, that not all the thing them you need to talk about. (Compare John 16:12.) If you feel that it too soon to start answering some personal questions, tell the other person. But after some time, the person you want marry will need to know this thing them so that they can make good decision. So certain point yor will reach, you will need to be honest and tell the person.

7. Ðɛ́ ɖíí-gàà kè ɖíí-màà ɖò ɓɛ́ ɔ kpɔ̃ ɓéeín nyɛɛ mɛ nyu ɓɛ́ ɔ ké ɔ muèɔ̀ dyí dyúoɛ̀ kɛ́? (Dyé gbɔ̀ɖɔ̀ nìà kɛ ɖekè “Dá vɛ̃in ɓéeín-kpɔ̃-kpɔ̃.”) (Dyé dyi-dyé-ɖɛ̀ ɓèɔ̀ ɖekè.)

⁷ How you can really get to know the other person good-good? One of the best ways that to be honest and talk with each other from the heart, to ask questions and listen good-good. (Prov. 20:5; Jas. 1:19) To do it, maybe yor can choose to do things together that will make it easy for yor to talk. Like eating together, walking together in public areas, and preaching together. Yor can also get to know each other when yor spend time with friends and family. Beside that one, plan some activities that will help you know how the other person can behave under different-different conditions, and with different-different people. See what one brother name Aschwin, from the Netherlands, use to do the time he was dating Alicia. He say: “We use to do different-different things that will help us to know more about each other. And most of the time, that just simple-simple thing them like, cooking together or doing some other work together. By working together, we were able to know each other strength and weakness.”

8. Xwɛ̀ ɖíí-gàà kè ɖíí-màà ɖò ɓɛ́ ɔ kpɔ̃ ɓéeín nyɛɛ ɓɛ́ìn kpáná dyéɛ dyììn ɖé ɔ kè ɔ muèɔ̀ ɖɛ cɛ̃-cɛ̃ dyí poìn poìn múɛ́?

⁸ Yor can also get to know each other by studying the Bible together. If yor get marry, yor will need to make time for family worship, so God can be important part of yor marriage. (Eccl. 4:12) So you not think it will be good for yor to set time to study together while yor dating? That true, when yor dating, yor not family yet,  and the brother not the head for the sister yet. But by studying together all the time, yor will get to know about each other spirituality. One marry couple from America, name Max and Laysa, found another benefit. He say: “Soon we started dating, we started studying publications that talk about dating, marriage, and family life. This publication them make it easy for us to talk about plenty important things that normally it will be hard for us to talk about.”

ƁÈ MƐ GMƆ̀ ÐƐ TƆ̀Ɔ̀ ƁÈ DYA

9. Ðɛ́ ɖíí-gàà kè ɖíí-màà ɖò ɓɛ́ ɔ kpɔ̃ ɓéeín nyɛɛ ɓè mɛ gmɔ̀ dya ɔ jù ké wa dyiɛ gbɔ̀ po ɓɛ́ wa ké wa ɓéeín kpɔ̃ jèɔ̀ nyɔ ɖò gbo cɛ̃ níɛ́?

⁹ Who yor must tell about yor dating? That the two people who dating must decide. When yor just start dating, maybe yor can decide to tell only few people. (Prov. 17:27) When yor do it, it will help yor to avoid plenty questions, and too much pressure to make decision. But if yor not tell anybody, yor will end up being alone because yor scare for people to know. And it can be dangerous. So that good idea to tell other people who will give yor good advice and help yor in other ways. (Prov. 15:22) For example, yor can tell certain family members, mature friends, or Christian elders.

10. Xwɛ̀ ɖíí-gàà kè ɖíí-màà ɖò ɓɛ́ ɔ kpɔ̃ ɓéeín nyɛɛ ɓɛ́ìn wa ɓéeín-kpɔ̃-kpɔ̃ɔ dya dèɛ kɛ́? (Nɔ́ɔ́ 22:3)

¹⁰ When you dating, how you can avoid things that Jehovah hate? The more yor feelings grow for each other, it normal that yor will feel close to each other. What can help you to avoid doing anything wrong? (1 Cor. 6:18) Avoid talking about rude-rude things. Two of yor must not be together alone. And avoid plenty drinking. (Eph. 5:3) This thing them can make you to get strong feeling to do man and woman business and it can make it hard for you to do the right thing. It will be good for yor to always talk about things yor can do to show respect for each other and Jehovah standards. (Read Proverbs 22:3.) See what help Dawit and Almaz from Ethiopia. They say: “We use to spend time together where plenty people can be, or with our friends. We never use to be by ourselves in car or in house. It help us to avoid situations that could tempt us.”

11. Ðɛ́ ɖíí-gàà kè ɖíí-màà ɖò ɓɛ́ ɔ kpɔ̃ ɓéeín nyɛɛ mɛ gmɔ̀ dya ɔ jù ké wa dyiɛ gbɔ po ɓɛ́ wa ké wa muèɔ̀ ɖɛ̀ɓɛ̀ìn-ɖɛ̀ɓɛ̀ìn dyí tɛ̀mɛ̀ìn níɛ́?

¹¹ What about showing affection for each other? The more yor relationship grow, yor can decide on how to show affection to each other in the right way. (Song of Sol. 1:2; 2:6) But if your feeling get too strong, it will be very hard for you to think about the other person the right way. Also, showing affection can make it easy for you to lose self-control and do something that Jehovah hate. (Prov. 6:27) So, soon you start dating, talk about some Bible principles, and set boundaries about what yor will do, and what yor will not do. c (1 Thess. 4:​3-7) Ask yourself: ‘How people in our area will think when they see us showing affection for each other? This thing them will make any of us to want do man and woman business?’

12. Ðɛ́ ɖíí-gàà kè ɖíí-màà ɖò ɓɛ́ ɔ kpɔ̃ ɓéeín nyɛɛ mɛ nyu ɓá fũ̀à-fṹá-ɖɛ̀ ɓè kè se-wuɖu-múin-wɔ̃in-wɔ̃in ɓè ɓɛ́ wa mu mú múin ɖé waa ɓéeín-kpɔ̃-kpɔ̃ múɛ́ jè dyíɛ́?

¹² How you must handle problems? What if yor can find it hard to agree with each  other from time to time? You think it mean the relationship not working? No. All couples whether dating or marry, can have problems sometime. When two people work together to overcome their problems, it can make their marriage strong. So the way yor work together now when yor get problems will show whether yor marriage will be successful. Ask yourself: ‘We can be calm and show respect when we discussing things? We willing to accept our mistake and try to improve? We quick to wave our right, say sorry and forgive?’ (Eph. 4:​31, 32) But, if yor always arguing or yor can’t agree with each other while yor dating, it possible that the situation will not change after yor get marry. If you see that the other person not good for you, ending the dating will be the best decision for the two of yor. d

13. Ðɛ́ ɓè mu ɖíí-gàà kè ɖíí-màà ɖò ɓɛ́ ɔ kpɔ̃ ɓéeín nyɛɛ gbo kpáùn ɓɛ́ wa ké ti jĩ̀ hwɛ̀ wa ɓéeín-kpɔ̃-kpɔ̃ mɛ ɖúú dyíɛɛ dyí dyuò kɛ́?

¹³ How long you must date for? When you rush to make decisions most of the time it can bring problems. (Prov. 21:5) So your dating must just be long enough for you to know each other good-good. But you must not date too long for no good reason. The Bible also say: “Expectation postponed makes the heart sick.” (Prov. 13:12) Beside that, the more you stay long dating, that the more it will be easy for you to put your hand in man and woman business. (1 Cor. 7:9) Instead of focusing on how long you must date for, you must ask yourself, ‘Wetin I still need to know about the other person before making my decision?’

XWƐ̀ NYƆ TƆ̀Ɔ̀ ƁÈ ƁƐ́ÌN MÀÀ KÈ GÀÀ ƁƐ́ WA MƆ̀ ƁÉEÍN-KPƆ̃-NYƆ̀ ƁÈƐƐ GBO-KPÁ-SƆ̀ NYÍƐ KƐ́?

14. Ðɛ́ mɔ̀ hwìè tɔ̀ɔ̀ ɓè kɔ̃ mú ɓɛ́ nyɔ tɔ̀ɔ̀ ɓè ɓɛ́ìn ɓéeín-kpɔ̃-nyɔ̀ ɓè gbo-kpá-sɔ̀ nyíɛ kɛ́? (Dyé-dyi-dyé-ɖɛ̀ɔ̀ ɖekè.)

¹⁴ If we know people who dating, how we can help them? We can invite them to eat with us, for family worship, or for get-together. (Rom. 12:13) This thing them will give them the opportunity to know each other good-good. They need chaperone or someone to be with them? They need help with transportation, or private place where they can talk? If so, we can help them if we see the need. (Gal. 6:10) Alicia, who we talk about before, talk about what she and Aschwin were really grateful for. She say: “We were really  happy when some brothers said we can visit them if we want be somewhere together, but we not want be by ourselves.” If people who dating ask you to be their chaperone, see it like opportunity to help them. Be careful to not leave them by their self in area where nobody around. But you must be able to know when they need time and space to talk in private.—Phil. 2:4.

15. Ðɛ́ ɓè ɓató ɓè ɓɛ́ìn nyuɛ ɓɛ́ wa ké ɓéeín-kpɔ̃-nyɔ̀ ɓè gbo kpáa kɛ́? (Nɔ́ɔ́ 12:18)

¹⁵ We can also support those who dating by knowing what we must say or what we must not say. And sometime, we need to control ourselves not to say anything. (Read Proverbs 12:18.) For example, when two people start dating, we can really want share the news with other people. But maybe the people who dating will want share the news their self. We must not gossip about people who dating or talk bad about them when it come to their personal matters. (Prov. 20:19; Rom. 14:10; 1 Thess. 4:11) Also, we must not say things or ask questions that will make the people who dating to feel pressure to get marry. One sister name Elise and her husband say, “We use to feel embarrass when other people use to ask us about our wedding plans when we not even discuss it yet.”

16. Ðɛ́ ɓè à mɛ ɓɔ́ cɛ̃ɛ ɔ jù ké ɓéeín-kpɔ̃-nyɔ̀ ɓèɔ̀ dyi waa ɓéeín-kpɔ̃-kpɔ̃ɔ ɓɔ́í po níɛ́?

¹⁶ Suppose the two people decide to end their dating? We must avoid asking personal questions to know what happen or start blaming one person for ending the relationship. (1 Pet. 4:15) One sister name Lea say: “When I hear the news other people were carrying around about why me and one brother break up, it hurt me bad way.” Like what we talk about before, if the two people decide to stop dating, we must not think that they make bad decision. Most of the time, it just mean that the dating help them to reach their goal and make good decision. But, that decision can still make them to feel bad and they will be feeling lonely. So we can look for ways to support them.—Prov. 17:17.

17. Ðɛ́ ɓè ɓéeín-kpɔ̃-nyɔ̀ ɓè mɛ vɔ̃ ɓɛ́ wa ké nyu teeɛ́?

¹⁷ We na learn that when you dating you can face problems, but you can also enjoy it. Jessica say: “To talk the truth, dating get plenty work. But I was happy that we use our time and energy to know each other good-good.” If you dating, continue working hard to know each other good-good. If you do it, your dating will be successful. It will help the two of yor to make good decision.