Dzidzime aɖe Ðo Afɔku Me

“Dzi dzɔam eye mezã le nuwɔwɔ me, gake nuwo trɔ le ɣleti eve siwo va yi me. Fifia ya ɣesiaɣi si mɔnukpɔkpɔ aɖe asu asinye be mawɔ nane ko la, megbɔdzɔna. Dzi ɖe le ƒonye, eye medoa dziku kabakaba, nyemenya alesi amewo awɔ nu ɖe ŋunye o. Nyemenya nusita nye seselelãme trɔ kpata alea gbegbe o.”—Paul.

“Mefaa avi eye nu tena ɖe dzinye ŋutɔ. Ne nu mete ɖe dzinye o la, ke ɖe nyemeganɔa ame me o. Naneke medoa dzidzɔ nam o. Xɔ̃nyewo gbɔ nɔnɔ megadoa dzidzɔ nam o. Alɔ̃ ko medɔna. Nyemete ŋu fɔna ŋkeke aɖewo yia suku o eye nye agbalẽnyanya yi to ŋutɔ.”—Melanie.

MENYE Paul kple Melanie koe le nɔnɔme sia me o. Numekuku ɖee fia be sɔhɛwo ƒe xexlẽme si anɔ ame 8 le alafa me le United States léa blanui ƒomevi aɖe eye ƒe sia ƒe ame 4 le alafa me ƒe blanuilélea nu sẽna ŋutɔ. Gake akɔntabubu siawo mede tututu o, elabena zi geɖe la, womekpɔa blanuiléle dzea sii nyuie o alo woŋea aɖaba ƒua edzi keŋkeŋ. Sɔhɛwo ƒe susuŋutinunyala David G. Fassler ŋlɔ be: “Le nyateƒe me la, esi medzro numekuku siwo wowɔ le ɖeviwo kple ƒewuiviwo ŋu me vɔ megbe la, mexɔe se be amesiwo wu ɖeka le ɖevi ene ɖesiaɖe dome ato blanuiléle si nu sẽ me hafi woaxɔ ƒe wuienyi.”

 Eƒe Nugblẽƒe

Blanuiléle gblẽa nu le ƒewuiviwo ŋu vevie. Le nyateƒe me la, eŋutinunyalawo xɔe se be eyae hea sɔhɛwo ƒe numaɖumaɖu nyuie, tagbɔdɔléle, numanyamanya le suku, kple atikevɔ̃ɖiwo zazã vɛ.

Nusi gawɔ nublanui wu enye be wokpɔ be blanuiléle na ƒewuiviwo wua wo ɖokui. Amerika Dukɔa me Habɔbɔ si Kpɔa Tagbɔdɔléle Gbɔ gblɔ be ɖevi 7 le alafa me siwo ƒe blanuiléle nu sẽ la wua wo ɖokui. * Esia gɔ̃ hã meɖe kuxiawo katã gblɔ o, elabena woxɔe se be sɔhɛ siwo wu nenemae tea wo ɖokui wuwu kpɔna. Eyata susu nyui aɖe tae Carnegie Sɔhɛwo ƒe Tsitsi Ŋuti Ðaŋuɖoha ŋlɔ be: “Dzomatsɔmatsɔ ɖe sɔhɛwo ƒe kuxiwo ŋu egbea nye nuwo dede afɔku me. Ðekematsɔleme sia dea dzidzimea afɔku me vavã.”

Tamebubu Aɖekee Mele Wo Dzi Oa?

Esesẽ na ame aɖewo be woaxɔe ase be ƒewuiviwo te ŋu léa blanui. Ame tsitsiwo agblɔ be ‘Ðeviwo koe wonyee. Tamebubu aɖeke mele wo dzi o eye nenema ke wometsia dzi abe ame tsitsiwo ene o.’ Alo? Nyateƒeae nye be sɔhɛwo doa go nyaƒoɖeamenu sesẽwo wu alesi ame tsitsi geɖe susui. Ðk. Daniel Goleman ŋlɔ be: “Dzidzime siwo katã va ɖe wo nɔewo yome le xexeame godoo tso keke ƒe alafa [20 lia] ƒe gɔmedzedze la toa blanuiléle si me afɔku siwo lolo wu wo dzilawo tɔ—menye nuxaxa ko o, ke boŋ wɔnamanɔameŋu, dziɖeleameƒo, kpakple mɔkpɔkpɔbuɖeame—me le woƒe agbenɔɣi me. Eye blanuiléle mawo va le dzedzem kabakaba wu le ɖevime.”

Ke hã dzila geɖe melɔ̃na ɖe edzi o, eye wogblɔna be: ‘Míeto sɔhɛnyenye me dzidzedzetɔe blanuiléle manɔmee ɖe. Nukata nuxaxa yɔ dzime na mía via ɖo?’ Gake mele be ame tsitsiwo natsɔ woƒe sɔhɛmenɔɣi asɔ kple sɔhɛwo tɔ egbea o. Eku ɖe amesiame kple nukpɔsusu si le esi le xexeame kple alesi wòwɔa nu ɖe eŋui ŋu.

Tsɔ kpe ɖe eŋu la, ƒewuivi siwo li egbea dzea ŋgɔ gbetɔame bubu. Ðk. Kathleen McCoy ŋlɔ ɖe eƒe agbalẽ si nye Understanding Your Teenager’s Depression me be: “Wole tsitsim le xexe aɖe si to vovovo na wo dzilawo ƒe sɔhɛmenɔɣi tɔ me.” Esi Ðk. McCoy gblɔ tɔtrɔ ɖedzesi aɖewo siwo va le ƒe bla nane siwo va yi nyitsɔ laa megbe la, eƒo nya ta be: “Ƒewuivi siwo li egbea senɛ le wo ɖokui me be yewomele dedie o, dzi mele yewo ƒo o eye mɔkpɔkpɔ mele yewo si de mía nu le dzidzime si va yi me la o.”

Esi blanuiléle bɔ ɖe sɔhɛwo dome alea ta la, nyati siwo kplɔ esia ɖo adzro biabia etɔ̃ siawo me:

• Nukawoe nye blanuiléle ƒe dzesi aɖewo?

• Nukae hea nɔnɔme sia vɛ?

• Aleke woate ŋu akpe ɖe sɔhɛ siwo lé blanui ŋu?

[Etenuŋɔŋlɔ]