Ðe Srɔ̃ɖeɖe Ate Ŋu Anɔ Te Ðe Ahom la Nua?

“Nusi ke Mawu bla la, ame nagamã eme o.”—MATEO 19:6.

AƑE siwo dze abe ɖe woli ke ene la gli le woƒe agu nu hemu gbloo. Nyitsɔ laa la, ahomya sesẽwo tu hegblẽ nu vevie le teƒe geɖe le xexeame godoo hedo xɔ gbogbo aɖewo ƒe sesẽ kple kelili kpɔ.

Ahomya ma tɔgbe aɖe le nu gblẽm le srɔ̃ɖeɖe, si nye ɖoɖo si li tso keke gbaɖegbe ke la, ŋu vevie. Stephanie Coontz, si nye amesi ŋlɔa nu tso ƒomewo ŋu, gblɔ be: “Womegadea bubu srɔ̃ɖeɖe ŋu le ame ŋutɔ ƒe agbenɔnɔ me loo alo le hadome abe alesi wònɔ tsã ene o.”

Ðe nède dzesi nusiwo gblẽm nɔnɔme sia lea? Ðe nèse le ɖokuiwò me be amewo megale srɔ̃ɖeɖe bum nu vevii oa? Ne nenemae la, nuka gbɔe wòtso? Ðe mɔkpɔkpɔ aɖe li be woate ŋu aɖo srɔ̃ɖeɖe si me dzidzɔ le anyi ahalée ɖe tea? Gake gbã la, nukae dea srɔ̃ɖeɖe afɔku me?

Srɔ̃ɖeɖe Ðo Afɔku Me

Menye nu yeyee kuxi siwo doa mo ɖa le srɔ̃ɖeɖe me la nye o; woli tso keke ameƒomea ƒe ŋutinya ƒe gɔmedzedzea me ke. Nɔnɔme kple amenyenye gbegblẽ siwo va su mía dzila gbãtɔawo si la gbɔe srɔ̃ɖeɖe me kuxi siwo li egbea tso. Adam kple Xawa wɔ nuvɔ̃ esime woɖe mɔ ɖokuitɔdidi ƒe dzodzro ɖu wo dzi, eye esia he ‘nuvɔ̃ va xexeame.’ (Romatɔwo 5:12) Biblia me nuŋlɔɖia gblɔ be esia megbe teti la, “[amegbetɔwo ƒe] tamesusuwo kple dzimedidiwo nye vɔ̃ ko ɖaa.”—Mose I, 6:5.

Nuwo metrɔ boo tso ɣemaɣi o. Dzimedidi vɔ̃ɖi siwo gblẽa nu le srɔ̃ɖeɖe ŋu dometɔ ɖekae nye kɔɖiɖi na ɖokuitɔdidi ƒe dzodzro yome nɔnɔ megbemakpɔmakpɔtɔe. Srɔ̃ɖeɖe ŋutɔ adze abe nusi megale tsia dzi o, si megasɔ le egbexexe sia si me nusi yɔm wole be agbe yeye nɔnɔ va le ŋusẽ kpɔm ɖe amewo dzi le me, o ene. Azɔ hã, alesi wole srɔ̃gbegbe ŋuti sewo me gbɔdzɔmee wɔe be srɔ̃gbegbe megakpea ŋu na amewo abe tsã ene o.

Amesiwo tsia dzi hedina be yewoakpɔ viɖe kaba eye wodia kɔɖiɖi na wo ɖokui enumake la, mebua kuxi siwo srɔ̃gbegbe ahe vɛ ŋu o. Woɖea mɔ nukpɔsusu si nye be yewoavo wu ahanɔ ablɔɖe me la flua wo woxɔnɛ sena be srɔ̃gbegbe ana yewoakpɔ dzidzɔ geɖe wu.

Le ame bubuwo gome la, ne wodo go kuxi sesẽwo le woƒe srɔ̃ɖeɖea me la, wotrɔna ɖe srɔ̃ɖeɖe ŋuti nunyala kple aɖaŋuɖola bibiwo alo woƒe agbalẽwo ŋu. Nublanuitɔe la, yeaɖi srɔ̃ɖeɖe ŋuti aɖaŋuɖola siwo li egbea dometɔ aɖewo va bi ɖe srɔ̃gbegbe dodo ɖe ŋgɔ me tsɔ wu be woakpɔ eta. Agbalẽ si nye The Case for Marriage gblɔ be: “Ðewohĩ esiae nye zi gbãtɔ le ameƒomea ƒe ŋutinya me si srɔ̃ɖeɖe, si nye nusi ŋu amewo dea bubui ŋutɔ la, ɖo afɔku aɖe si yi edzi le nu gblẽm nukutɔe la me. Ɣeaɖewoɣi la, yeaɖi srɔ̃ɖeɖe ŋuti aɖaŋuɖolawo nɔa te ɖe woa ŋutɔwo ƒe nukpɔsusuwo dzi ƒoa nu tsia tre ɖe srɔ̃ɖeɖoɖoa ŋu tẽ, amesiawo bunɛ be atam kaka be woawɔ nuteƒe na ame nɔewo le agbe me katã nye nusi manya wɔ o alo be enye ameteteɖeanyi.”

Alesi Wobua Srɔ̃ɖeɖee Trɔ

Alesi amewo bua srɔ̃ɖeɖe kple taɖodzinu si le eŋu la hã trɔ. Ànya de dzesii be womegabua  nuteƒewɔwɔ kple kpekpe ɖe ame nɔewo ŋu le srɔ̃ɖeɖe me nu vevii o, ke boŋ srɔ̃tɔawo dometɔ ɖesiaɖe nadi eya ŋutɔ ƒe dzidzedzekpɔkpɔ gbãgbiagbã—zi geɖe ame kemɛa ŋu mabumabui—ye va zu nusi le vevie na amewo wu. Ðokuitɔdidi ƒe nukpɔsusu le srɔ̃ɖeɖe me sia “dze egɔme le ƒe 1960-awo me heva do gã ɖe edzi le ƒe 1970-awo me,” abe alesi Magazine si nye Journal of Marriage and Family gblɔe ene. Nusiwo ta woɖea srɔ̃ ɖo tsã—abe, didi be woalɔ̃ ye, ƒomedodo kplikplikpli me nɔnɔ, nuteƒewɔwɔ, vidzidzi, kple nuwo wɔwɔ aduadu be nu nadze edzi na yewo ene—me va gbɔ dzɔ.

Nu geɖe siwo le dzɔdzɔm le ŋkeke siawo me le tɔtrɔwo hem va srɔ̃ɖeɖe me le dukɔ geɖewo me kabakaba. Gbã la, ɖoƒe si srɔ̃ŋutsu wɔna tsã, abe amesi hea ga vaa aƒemee ene, kple esi srɔ̃nyɔnu wɔna si nye aƒemedɔwo gbɔ kpɔkpɔ, la va trɔ le dukɔ geɖe me. Esi nyɔnuwo hã va te dɔ wɔwɔ le dɔwɔƒewo hena fetu ta la, aƒe siwo me srɔ̃ŋutsu kple srɔ̃nyɔnu siaa nye fetudɔwɔlawo le la va le dzidzim ɖe edzi ŋutɔ. Evelia, ame geɖe va le asi dam ɖe vidzidzi le srɔ̃ɖeɖea godo dzi, si wɔe be dzilaɖekɛƒomewo va le agbɔ sɔm ɖe edzi. Etɔ̃lia, ame nɔewo gbɔ nɔnɔ srɔ̃maɖemaɖee, si ame aɖewo tiana ɖe srɔ̃ɖeɖe teƒe, le dzidzim ɖe edzi. (Kpɔ aɖaka si nye “Melia Ke Dea Srɔ̃ɖeɖe Nu O.”) Enelia, ame geɖe va le ŋudzedze kpɔm ɖe ŋutsu kple ŋutsu alo nyɔnu kple nyɔnu ƒe wo nɔewo ɖeɖe, kple ɖe habɔbɔ siwo dzea agbagba be yewoana woada asi ɖe srɔ̃ɖeɖe sia dzi le se nu la ŋu. Ðe egbegbe nukpɔsusu siawo kpɔ ŋusẽ ɖe alesi nèbua srɔ̃ɖeɖee dzia?

Srɔ̃gbegbe ƒe Dzidziɖedzi

Mina míalé ŋku ɖe dukɔ geɖe ŋuti akpɔ alesi srɔ̃gbegbe ƒe dzidziɖedzi le nu geɖe gblẽm le srɔ̃ɖeɖe ŋui ɖa. Le United States la, Amewo ƒe Xexlẽme Dzikpɔƒe ka nya ta nyitsɔ laa be: “Tso ƒe 1970 vaseɖe 1996 la, srɔ̃tɔ siwo gbe wo nɔewo ƒe xexlẽme dzi ɖe edzi zi gbɔ zi ene.” Ne mede ɖeke o la, wogbe ame 1 le 5 ɖesiaɖe teti ya me. Amekawo koŋ ƒe srɔ̃ɖeɖe domee te ŋu gblẽna bɔbɔe? Akɔntabubuwo  ɖee fia be srɔ̃ɖeɖe siwo katã wua enu ɖe srɔ̃gbegbe me dometɔ 60 le alafa me nye esiwo dzɔna le ƒe ewo gbãtɔawo me.

Le dukɔ bubuwo hã me la, srɔ̃gbegbe dzi ɖe edzi ŋutɔ. Amesiwo katã gbe wo nɔewo le England (Angleterre) kple Wales (pays de Galles), le ƒe 2004 me ƒe xexlẽme de 153,490. Australiatɔwo ate ŋu akpɔ mɔ be srɔ̃tɔ 40 le alafa me ƒe srɔ̃ɖeɖe awu enu ɖe srɔ̃gbegbe me. Srɔ̃ɖeɖe siwo gbã le The Republic of Korea le ƒe ɖeka dzaa ko me—tso ƒe 2002 vaseɖe 2003 me—dzi ɖe edzi 21,800 sɔŋ, si na be srɔ̃ɖeɖe siwo katã wu enu ɖe srɔ̃gbegbe me ƒe xexlẽme bliboa va nye 167,100. Le Japan, afisi srɔ̃ɖeɖe 1 le 4 ɖesiaɖe me wua enu ɖe srɔ̃gbegbe me le la, srɔ̃gbegbe ƒe dzidziɖedzi va de sɔsɔ ge fifia kple Europa tɔ. Ƒome ŋuti nusrɔ̃la bibi aɖe si le Japan ƒe Red Cross University gblɔ be: “Tsã la, srɔ̃ɖeɖe siwo meɖɔ ʋu kura o koe wua enu ɖe srɔ̃gbegbe me, egbea la, eva zu nusi amesiame le wɔwɔm.”

Le dukɔ geɖewo me la, subɔsubɔ nuɖoanyi kple hadome ɖoɖo siwo li tso gbaɖegbe ke wɔ akpa vevi aɖe le srɔ̃ɖeɖe ƒe dzidzedzekpɔkpɔ me. Gake fifia la, womagate ŋu awɔ naneke le alesi amewo va le asi dam ɖe srɔ̃gbegbe dzii ŋu o. Le kpɔɖeŋu me, bu Roma Katolikoha, si me wobua srɔ̃ɖeɖe be enye nu kɔkɔe la ŋu kpɔ. Le ƒe 1983 me la, sɔlemeha la gbɔdzɔ se siwo ku ɖe srɔ̃ɖenubablawo ŋu me eye esia wɔe be wòva le bɔbɔe na Katolikotɔwo be woate ŋu agbe srɔ̃. Ale wɔ fli tete ɖe srɔ̃ɖeɖe me le se tɔwo gbɔ dzi ɖe edzi tso ɣemaɣi.

Edze kɔte be, ka siwo lé srɔ̃ɖeɖe ɖe te la me le gbɔdzɔgbɔdzɔm. Gake menye nusiwo nana srɔ̃ɖeɖe  me gblẽna la katãe dzena gaglã o. Le nyateƒe me la, tsɔ kpe ɖe agbenɔnɔ ƒe toyiyi si le edzi yim le ameƒomea katã me ŋu la, nu bubu aɖe hã li si gbɔ srɔ̃gbegbe ƒe dzidziɖedzia tso—si mele nyanya na ameƒomea me tɔ akpa gãtɔ o.

Nane si Ɣla Ðe Ahom la Megbe

Biblia gblɔ na mí be Satana Abosam, si nye ɖokuitɔdila gãtɔ, le vivimeŋusẽ gbegblẽ kpɔm ɖe xexeame dzi. Le mɔ ka nu? Elabena wotsɔe ƒu gbe tso dziƒo ɖe anyigba dzi eye dzi le ekum ŋutɔ. Le nyateƒe me la, Satana ɖoe kplikpaa be yeahe xaxa geɖe si yeate ŋui vɛ, eye nusiwo wòtɔ ŋkui dometɔ ɖeka koe srɔ̃ɖeɖe, si nye Mawu ƒe ɖoɖo la, nye.—Nyaɖeɖefia 12:9, 12.

Esi Yesu nɔ susu hem yi ɣeyiɣi si akplɔ Satana nyanya tso dziƒo ɖo dzi la, egblɔ be: “Le nu madzɔmadzɔ wɔwɔ ƒe agbɔsɔsɔ ŋuti la ame geɖewo ƒe lɔlɔ̃ nu latsi.” (Mateo 24:12) Nenema ke apostolo Paulo hã ŋlɔ bena: “Ameawo lanye ɖokuilɔ̃lawo, galɔ̃lawo, adegbe ƒuƒlu ƒolawo, dadalawo, busunyagblɔlawo, ame maɖoto dzilawo, ame madakpewo kple ame makɔmakɔwo; amesiwo melɔ̃a ame ƒe nya o, amesiwo gbea avuléle, ameŋuzɔlawo, amesiwo mete ŋu ɖua wo ɖokui dzi o, ame wɔadãwo, amesiwo melɔ̃a nu nyui o, yomemɔfialawo, ame mabunuwo, amesiwo doa wo ɖokui ɖe dzi glodzo, amesiwo lɔ̃a hadzedze wu esi woalɔ̃ Mawu.” (Timoteo II, 3:2-4) Nɔnɔme vlo siawo nɔ anyi xoxo, gake wova do fievo ɖe edzi le míaƒe ɣeyiɣi siawo me, abe alesi amesiame ate ŋu akpɔe dze sii ene.

Esi kuxi sesẽ siawo le nu gblẽm le srɔ̃ɖeɖoɖoa ŋu ta la, nukae míate ŋu awɔ be míakpɔ mía ɖokui ta ahakpɔ dzidzɔ vavãtɔ le srɔ̃ɖeɖe si nɔa anyi ɖaa me? Nyati si kplɔe ɖo adzro biabia sia me.—g7/06.

[Nya si ɖe dzesi si le axa 5]

“Le nuto siwo me nuwo zazã sẽ ahaɖe asi le wo ŋu zu numame na amewo le me la, ele bɔbɔe be amewo naɖe nɔnɔme ma tɔgbe ke afia le woƒe ƒomedodo kple ame bubuwo me.”​—SANDRA DAVIS, SRƆ̃ÐEÐESEWO ŊUTI NUNYALA

[Aɖaka/Nɔnɔmetata si le axa 4]

“Melia Ke Dea Srɔ̃ɖeɖe Nu O”

Ŋutsu kple nyɔnu geɖe siwo meɖe wo nɔewo o la nɔa wo nɔewo gbɔ abe srɔ̃tɔwo ene. Dɔléle Nutsitsi Kple Mɔxexe Ðe Enu Dɔwɔƒe si le United States gblɔ le anyinɔnɔ kple ame nɔewo nenema ŋu be: “Melia ke dea srɔ̃ɖeɖe nu o.” Ŋutsu kple nyɔnu mawo dometɔ aɖewo nɔa wo nɔewo gbɔ do ŋgɔ na srɔ̃ɖeɖe kple susu be, yewoatsɔ akpɔe ɖa be yewosɔ na yewo nɔewo hã. Ðe anyinɔnɔ kple ame nɔewo alea wɔnɛ be wokpɔa srɔ̃tɔwo ƒe masɔmasɔ na wo nɔewo ƒe kuxia gbɔ eye wònana be woƒe srɔ̃ɖeɖe me nyona wua? Journal of Marriage and Family ka nya ta be, kpeɖodziawo ɖee fia be mele nenema o. Magazinea yi edzi gblɔ be: “Ne wolé ŋku ɖe amesiwo ɖe srɔ̃ ŋu la, amesiwo mekpɔa dzidzedze o wue nye amesiwo nɔ wo nɔewo gbɔ ɖekae do ŋgɔ na srɔ̃ɖeɖe . . . , woawoe doa go kuxi geɖe le srɔ̃ɖeɖe me wu, eye . . . woawo ƒe srɔ̃ɖeɖe mee te ŋu gblẽna bɔbɔe wu.”

[Aɖaka/Nɔnɔmetata si le axa 5]

Agbedidinɔnɔ Kple Srɔ̃ɖeɖe

Egbea amewo nɔa agbe wòdidina wu. Togbɔ be ŋgɔyiyi nyui aɖee nye sia hã la, ena srɔ̃ɖeɖe me kuxiwo dzi ɖe edzi. Egbea, srɔ̃gbegbee hea srɔ̃ɖeɖe geɖe vaa nuwuwui, siwo anye ne blemae la, kue ahe wo va nuwuwui. Bu srɔ̃ɖeɖe me kuxi siwo tɔgbe mebɔ o, si le nu gblẽm le nyɔnu srɔ̃tɔ siwo nɔa agbe didi le Japan ŋu kpɔ. Le nyadzɔdzɔgbalẽ si nye The Washington Post ƒe nya nu la, eŋutinunyalawo na ŋkɔ kuxia be, “srɔ̃ŋutsu siwo xɔ dzudzɔ le dɔme ŋuti kuxi” (retired husband syndrome alo RHS). Esi srɔ̃nyɔnu aɖe, si nɔ atsuƒe ƒe 40 sɔŋ ɖo ŋku ɣeyiɣi siwo me srɔ̃a xɔ dzudzɔ le dɔme dzi la, egblɔ na eɖokui ɣemaɣi be: “Ele be magbee fifia. Esubɔsubɔ le esime wònɔa dɔme yim nɔa gbɔgbɔm menɔ bɔbɔe nam kura o. Fifia esi wòva le aƒea me kplim ɣesiaɣi ya sesẽ nam wu gbɔgblɔ.”