Young People Ask . . .

How Can I Make a Success of My Stay Abroad?

“When I arrived at the airport, all I wanted to do was go home! . . . I had lost all my thirst for adventure and all my joy of discovery. In a word, I was more homesick than I had ever been before.”—Uta.

IT IS a scary feeling to be all by yourself in a foreign land. But as a previous article in this series showed, many youths are choosing to spend some time living abroad. Some go to get an education or to receive special training. Some want to learn a language. Some simply want to earn money. Others, though, have moved to serve in foreign lands where there is a need for Kingdom preachers.

Assuming that you are staying abroad for wise reasons—reasons that take into account your spiritual needs and goals *—what can you do to ensure that your stay will be a success?

Be Determined to Adapt

First, you must be willing to adapt. That does not mean abandoning Christian principles or your spiritual routine. But it might mean acquiring a taste for new foods, learning some new rules of etiquette, or trying new ways of doing things. These new customs may be very different from the way you did things back home. But Jesus’ command to “stop judging” could well be applied here. (Matthew 7:1) Really, no race or culture has the right to declare itself superior to others. (Acts 17:26) Just as older people should avoid making critical comparisons between the youth of yesteryear and those of today, so young people abroad should avoid making critical comparisons between a foreign country and their own. (Ecclesiastes 7:10) Focus on the positive things that this new land and culture have to offer. Also, the quicker you learn the language of this land, the quicker you will begin to feel at home.

The apostle Paul successfully adapted to different cultures in his work as a missionary because he was willing to become “all things to people of all sorts.” (1 Corinthians 9:22) A similar attitude can help you to adapt. Adrianne is an au pair living in Germany, doing domestic work for a family in exchange for room and board. She explains: “I  have to be very flexible because I cannot expect others to adapt to me.”

‘I’m Homesick!’

During the first few weeks, it is not unusual to feel sad and homesick. The Bible shows that Jacob was ‘yearning intensely for the house of his father,’ even though Jacob had been in a foreign land for over 20 years! (Genesis 31:30) So don’t be surprised if you sometimes have crying spells. Of course, if you constantly dwell on what you left behind, you will only increase your feelings of sadness. (Numbers 11:4, 5) The best way to beat the blues is to work at getting used to your new routine and environment. While it’s good to keep in touch with your family by letters or phone calls, too many calls home might hinder you from adjusting to your new home.

Many Christian youths find that getting back into their spiritual routine is the best antidote for loneliness. (Philippians 3:16) Amber recalls her first weeks abroad: “I found it hard in the evenings, when there was nothing to do, so I tried to do some extra studying or to read a book.” Young Rachel, a British au pair in Germany, speaks from personal experience when she advises: “Get involved straightaway. Start attending the meetings at once.” Initially, you may need some help in getting to the meetings. But within the Christian congregation, you can find wholesome friends who can be like “brothers and sisters and mothers.”—Mark 10:29, 30.

Sharing in the Christian evangelizing work is also an important part of a good spiritual routine. Preaching will not only benefit you spiritually but also help you to adjust to the new culture and language.

Finally, keep up a routine of prayer and personal study. They are vital to your staying spiritually healthy. (Romans 12:12; 1 Timothy 4:15) For this reason, Adrianne, mentioned earlier, made sure that she brought along Bible literature in her mother tongue.

Living With a Host Family

Some young Christians have arranged to live with believing families while they are abroad. While a host family cannot be expected to take on the job of parenting, they can be good association and a source of spiritual encouragement.—Proverbs 27:17.

Even so, open communication with the host family is essential to maintaining a good relationship. (Proverbs 15:22; 20:5; 25:11) Amber notes: “You should have an outline of what you will have to do. You need to know what your hosts’ expectations are. And they should be aware of what your expectations are.” Find out what the family house rules are and to what extent you are expected to share in chores. Such matters should be thoroughly discussed.

Your situation will be particularly challenging if, for example, you are working for a host family that does not share your beliefs. Since the family may not understand your stand on Bible principles, you could find yourself in compromising situations. (Proverbs 13:20) Demands to fulfill domestic duties could conflict with spiritual obligations, such as attending Christian meetings. So if  unavoidable circumstances force you to stay with a family that does not share your beliefs, then a number of precautions should be taken.

Rachel recommends: “Make sure that they know that you are a Christian. It is best that you tell them honestly right away.” Explaining your religious and moral standards can serve as a protection. Also, you should make clear to your employer how important Christian meetings and preaching are to you. Finally, it is wise to make sure that important matters such as working hours, time off, and payment have been put in writing before you start. This can prevent frustration later on.

Solving Problems

In spite of your best efforts, trouble can still arise. For example, what if your hosts demand that you leave their home? This can be quite devastating. If some sort of misunderstanding occurs, you might try talking things out with your hosts in a calm and reasonable way. (Proverbs 15:1) Be willing to admit any mistakes you may have made. Perhaps they will change their minds. If not, you will have to find another accommodation.

Other problems may require that you ask someone for help. You might, for example, run into financial trouble or get ill. Fearing that your parents might come to take you home, you may be hesitant to let them know what is going on. Besides, they are miles away and may not know how to deal with such a situation in a foreign land. The local congregation elders, however, may have experience in dealing with such problems and might be able to offer some practical advice. They may also be able to help you decide if this is a matter that should come to the attention of your parents.

Returning Home

In spite of difficulties and challenges, spending time abroad can be a rewarding experience, particularly if you go there for spiritual reasons. Of course, the time may come when you will have to return home. Andreas says: “With so many positive memories—negative ones are soon forgotten—it was very hard for me to leave.” Even so, do not expect your friends or family back home suddenly to change their way of doing things now that you have returned with new attitudes that you have learned abroad. In addition, do not irritate them with constant reminders of how things are done elsewhere. Naturally, you will want to tell everybody your story, but don’t be frustrated if not everyone shares your excitement.

Clearly, the decision to live for a while in a foreign land is one that should be taken seriously. If after discussing the matter with your parents, you decide that there are sound reasons to make the move, be prepared to cope with the challenges you will face. As with any big decision you face in life, it is wise to count the cost first.—Luke 14:28-30.

[Footnote]

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Safety Tips

● Keep your passport, money, and return ticket in a safe place.

● Make photocopies of your passport as well as your entry permit and/or visa, your return ticket, and other important papers. Keep one set of those copies with you, and send one set to your parents or friends at home.

● Always have along with you the telephone numbers of your parents or friends at home and of your host family.

● Maintain chaste conduct with members of the opposite sex, be they in the host family, at school, at work, or at other places.

● Learn at least some basic words and phrases in the language of the host country.

● Get a medical checkup before departing. Make sure that you have adequate supplies of any medication needed.

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If misunderstandings occur with your host family, talk them over in a calm way