Help Youths Meet Their Needs

YOUNG people need someone to talk to about their goals, hopes, and problems. They also need good friends. And as they mature, youths need a sense of identity, of individuality. When parents help their children to meet these needs, they protect them from potentially harmful relationships, including those readily developed online.

▪ Young people need to talk. When it comes to expressing their feelings, teenagers can give the appearance of being aloof or secretive. Be assured, though, that they want to talk​—yes, to you, their parent—​about matters both serious and trivial. The question is, Are you ready and willing to listen?​—James 1:19.

Do not let the demands of life crowd out precious opportunities to talk with your children. If you are experiencing difficulties, it may be time to think hard about the sound Biblical advice: “Make sure of the more important things.” (Philippians 1:10) What could be more important than your children?

Do not hastily conclude that young ones would rather go to their peers for advice than to their parents. In one survey, more than 17,000 students from grades 6 through 12 were told to rate on a scale of 0 to 5 how much influence their parents, friends, celebrities, the media, and teachers had on them. The answer 0 meant no influence, and 5 extremely influential. Nearly half gave their parents a rating of 5.

Clearly, as a parent you can play a pivotal role in shaping your children’s values and goals. “You may not reach them with everything you say,” stated one parent. “But if you don’t talk to them, you’ll never reach them.”

▪ Young people need friends. “Parents don’t usually know about their child’s interactions on the Internet or just plain don’t care to know,” says one 15-year-old girl. In this day and age, parents cannot afford to be casual about their children’s associates. Do you know whom your children spend time with, whether face-to-face or otherwise? The Bible says: “Bad companions ruin good character.” (1 Corinthians 15:33, Today’s English Version) Yes, there is compelling reason to supervise closely your child’s association.

 Caring involves more than simply shielding young people from bad influences. Children need the right kind of friends. “He that is walking with wise persons will become wise,” says the Bible. (Proverbs 13:20) Thus, there is a need to help your children find wholesome associates​—including other youths who are setting a fine example in remembering their Creator.​—Ecclesiastes 12:1.

Jehovah God is particular about the kind of persons he befriends, and we should try to imitate him. (Psalm 15:1-5; Ephesians 5:1) Indeed, one of the most valuable life skills you can teach your children​—by word and example—​is that of choosing wholesome associates.​—2 Thessalonians 3:6, 7.

▪ Young people need a sense of identity. A vital part of growing up is the forming of an identity​—a set of unique traits that distinguish one child from all others. A Bible proverb states: “A child shows what he is by what he does.” (Proverbs 20:11, The Holy Bible in the Language of Today, by William Beck) One of your tasks as a parent is to inculcate right principles into the hearts of your children.​—Deuteronomy 6:6, 7.

To illustrate: Parents usually choose what a young child will wear from day to day, hoping that he or she will learn good dress sense. But can you imagine a 30-year-old healthy adult still being dressed by his parents? The very idea is absurd! Using the analogy of attire, the Bible encourages us: “Clothe yourselves with the new personality”​—a Christlike personality. (Colossians 3:10) You can help your children to put on the new personality by means of loving discipline and “mental-regulating.” (Ephesians 6:4) Then as they grow older and more independent, they may well make “the new personality” their choice of “attire” too, seeing it as truly beautiful and appealing.​—Deuteronomy 30:19, 20.

Ask yourself: ‘How do my children really feel about the values taught in God’s Word? How can I help them “to live with soundness of mind”?’ (Titus 2:12) Your goal is not to produce a superficially obedient child. Some children seem to excel at doing whatever they are told, never questioning, arguing, or rebelling. But a child who simply conforms to what you want him to do today may conform to what the world wants him to do tomorrow. Therefore, train your children to cultivate their “power of reason.” (Romans 12:1) Help them to see why Bible principles are sound and how they benefit us all.​—Isaiah 48:17, 18.

Yes, helping young people meet their needs takes effort. But the rewards are worth it! If your children live by right principles that you have instilled, you will be able to say with all your heart that children truly are “an inheritance from Jehovah.”​—Psalm 127:3.

[Pictures on page 9]

Help your children choose wholesome Christian associates