Young People Ask . . .

Caught Between Cultures​—What Can I Do?

“My family is Italian, and they openly express affection and warmth. We now live in Britain. Here people seem very orderly and polite. I feel out of place in both cultures​—too Italian to be British and too British to be Italian.”​—Giosuè, England.

“At school my teacher told me to look at him when he spoke. But when I looked my Dad in the eye when he spoke, he said that I was being rude. I felt caught between two cultures.”​—Patrick, an Algerian immigrant living in France.

Is either your father or mother an immigrant?

□ Yes □ No

Is the language or culture that surrounds you at school different from that in your home?

□ Yes □ No

MILLIONS migrate each year, and many of them face major challenges. Suddenly they are surrounded by people whose language, culture, and clothing are different from theirs. As a result, immigrants often become the target of ridicule​—a fact that a girl named Noor discovered. Along with her family, she emigrated from Jordan to North America. “Our clothes were different, so people made fun of us,” she says. “And we certainly didn’t understand American humor.”

A youth named Nadia faced a different challenge. “I was born in Germany,” she explains. “Since my parents are Italian, I spoke German with an accent, and the kids at school called me a ‘stupid foreigner.’ But when I visit Italy, I find that I speak Italian with a German accent. So I feel that I have no true identity. Wherever I go, I’m a foreigner.”

What other challenges do the children of immigrant parents face? And how can they make the most of their circumstances?

 Culture Gaps and Language Barriers

Even at home, youths with immigrant parents may see a culture gap develop. How? Children often adapt to a new culture more quickly than their parents. For example, Ana was eight when she immigrated to England with her family. “For my brother and me, adapting to London was almost automatic,” she says. “But it was challenging for my parents, who had lived for so long on the small Portuguese island of Madeira.” Voeun, who was three when her Cambodian parents arrived in Australia, says: “My parents have not adapted very well. In fact, Dad would often get upset and angry because I didn’t understand his attitude and way of thinking.”

This culture gap can be like a moat that separates youths from their parents. Then, like a castle wall built along a moat, a language barrier may further divide families. The foundation of the barrier is laid when children learn the new language more quickly than their parents. The barrier rises as the children begin to forget their mother tongue and meaningful communication becomes more and more difficult.

Ian, now 14, saw such a barrier develop between himself and his parents after his family immigrated to New York from Ecuador. “Now I speak more English than Spanish,” he says. “My teachers at school speak English, my friends speak English, and I speak English with my brother. English is filling my head and pushing the Spanish out.”

Can you relate to Ian? If your family migrated while you were very young, you may not have realized that your mother tongue could benefit you later in life. So you may have let it slip from your memory. Noor, quoted earlier, says: “My father tried hard to insist that we speak his language at home, but we didn’t want to speak Arabic. To us, learning Arabic seemed like extra baggage to carry. Our friends spoke English. The TV programs we watched were all in English. Why did we need Arabic?”

As you grow a little older, though, you might start to appreciate the benefits of speaking your mother tongue well. However, you may find it difficult to remember the words that used to come so easily. “I get the two languages confused,” says Michael, 13, whose parents immigrated to England from China. Ornelle, 15, who moved from Congo (Kinshasa) to London, says: “I try to tell my mother something in Lingala, but I can’t because I’m more used to speaking English.” Lee, who was born in Australia to Cambodian parents, regrets not being fluent in her parents’ tongue. She explains: “When I talk to my parents and want to elaborate on how I feel about certain matters, I find that I just can’t speak their language well enough.”

Reasons to Bridge the Gap

If you’ve partly lost your first language, don’t despair. You can rebuild your language skills. But first you must clearly see the benefits of doing so. What are some of the benefits? “I learned my parents’ language because I wanted to be close to them emotionally and, above all, spiritually,” says Giosuè, quoted earlier. “Learning their language has allowed me to understand how they feel. And it has helped them to understand me.”

Many young Christians are mastering their parents’ language because they want to tell other immigrants the good news of God’s Kingdom. (Matthew 24:14; 28:19, 20) “Being able to explain the Scriptures in two languages is great!” says Salomão, who immigrated to London when he was five. “I had almost forgotten my first language, but now that I am in a Portuguese congregation, I can speak both English and Portuguese fluently.” Oleg, 15, who now lives in France, says: “It makes me happy to be able to help others. I can explain the Bible to people who speak Russian, French, or Moldovan.” Noor saw the need for evangelizers in the Arabic  field. She says: “Now I am taking classes and trying to pick up what I lost. My attitude has changed. Now I want to be corrected. I want to learn.”

What can you do to regain fluency in your parents’ language? Some families have found that if they insist on speaking only their mother tongue while at home, then the children will learn both languages well. * You may also want to ask your parents to help you learn to write the language. Stelios, who grew up in Germany but whose first language is Greek, says: “My parents used to discuss a Bible text with me each day. They would read it out loud, and then I would write it down. Now I can read and write both Greek and German.”

Certainly, if you are familiar with two cultures and can speak two or more languages, you have a real advantage. Your knowledge of two cultures increases your ability to understand people’s feelings and to answer their questions about God. The Bible says: “A man has rejoicing in the answer of his mouth, and a word at its right time is O how good!” (Proverbs 15:23) Preeti, who was born in England of Indian parents, explains: “Because I understand two cultures, I feel more comfortable in the ministry. I understand people from both ways of life​—what they believe and what their attitudes are.”

“God Is Not Partial”

If you feel that you are caught between cultures, don’t be discouraged. Your situation is similar to that of several Bible characters. Joseph, for instance, was taken from his native Hebrew culture when he was a boy and spent the rest of his life in Egypt. Still, he evidently never forgot his native language. (Genesis 45:1-4) As a result, he was able to come to the aid of his family.​—Genesis 39:1; 45:5.

Timothy, who traveled extensively with the apostle Paul, had a Greek father and a Jewish mother. (Acts 16:1-3) Rather than let his mixed background become a hindrance to him, he was no doubt able to use his understanding of cultural differences to help others as he engaged in his missionary work.​—Philippians 2:19-22.

Can you also view your circumstances as an advantage rather than a liability? Remember, “God is not partial, but in every nation the man that fears him and works righteousness is acceptable to him.” (Acts 10:34, 35) Jehovah loves you for who you are, not for where you come from. Can you, like the youths quoted here, use your knowledge and experience to help others of your ethnic background to learn about our impartial, loving God, Jehovah? Doing so can make you genuinely happy!​—Acts 20:35.

More articles from the “Young People Ask . . .” series can be found at the Web site www.watchtower.org/​ype

[Footnote]

TO THINK ABOUT

▪ What cultural gaps or language barriers do you face?

▪ How can you overcome some of these challenges?

[Picture on page 20]

Speaking your parents’ language can strengthen family bonds