Wars With Words​—Why Are They Hurtful?

“From what source are there wars and from what source are there fights among you?”​—JAMES 4:1.

THE Bible writer James did not direct this question to the soldiers of Rome’s legions, which were then waging wars of conquest; nor was he probing the motives behind the guerrilla fighting of the Jewish Sicarii, or Dagger Men, of the first century C.E. James had in mind disputes that involved as few as two people. Why? Because like wars, personal battles are destructive. Note these Bible accounts.

The sons of the patriarch Jacob hated their brother Joseph so much that they sold him into slavery. (Genesis 37:4-28) Later, Israel’s King Saul tried to kill David. Why? Because he was envious of David. (1 Samuel 18:7-11; 23:14, 15) In the first century, two Christian women, Euodia and Syntyche, disturbed the peace of an entire congregation with their arguing.​—Philippians 4:2.

In more recent times, men settled their differences in duels, facing off with swords or pistols. Often one of the duelists was killed or was maimed for life. Today, those who feud usually limit their weaponry to bitter, cutting words. Although blood may not be drawn, the verbal attacks injure emotions and reputations. Innocent ones often suffer in these “wars.”

Consider what took place some years ago when one Anglican priest accused another of mishandling church finances. Their quarreling became public, and the congregation they served split into factions. Some members refused to attend services if the minister they opposed was presiding. So intense was their mutual contempt that they snubbed each other when they were in church for worship. When the accusing priest himself  was accused of sexual misconduct, the dispute heated up.

The Archbishop of Canterbury appealed to the two clerics, calling their fighting “a cancer” and “a scandal dishonouring the name of Our Lord.” In 1997 one of the priests agreed to retire. The other held on to his post until he had to leave because he had reached the age of compulsory retirement. However, he stayed on until the last possible moment, retiring on his 70th birthday, on August 7, 2001. The Church of England Newspaper mentioned that the day he retired was the feast day of “Saint” Victricius. Who was “Saint” Victricius? A fourth-century bishop who was reportedly flogged because he refused to fight in an army. Noting the contrast in attitudes, the paper said: “Refusing to fight in an ecclesiastical battle was not a trait of [the retiring priest].”

Those priests could have avoided injuring themselves and others had they applied the counsel at Romans 12:17, 18: “Return evil for evil to no one. Provide fine things in the sight of all men. If possible, as far as it depends upon you, be peaceable with all men.”

What about you? If someone offends you, does resentment goad you into verbal warfare? Or do you avoid harsh words and keep the door to peace open? If you offend someone, do you avoid that person and hope that time and a short memory will cover over the problem? Or are you prompt to apologize? Whether you ask for forgiveness or extend it to another, trying to make peace will contribute to your well-being. Bible counsel can help us to resolve even long-standing conflicts, as the following article shows.