aapko woh ladka bahot pasand hai aur aapko poora yakeen hai ki woh bhi aapko pasand karta hai. aakhir, aap har samay ek-doosre ko message karte rehte hain, partiyon mein hamesha saath rehte hain . . . aur uske kuch message aise hain jinse pata chalta hai ki woh ishk lada raha hai.

isliye aap usse yah poochhne ka faisla karte hain ki aap donon ke beech kya rishta hai. aap jaanna chahte hain ki kya woh bhi aapke baare mein vaisa hi mehsoos karta hai jaisa aap karte hain. uska javab aata hai, “main tumhein bas apna dost maanta hoon aur kuch nahin.”

•  yah sunkar kaisa lagta hai

•  aisa kyon hota hai

•  aap kya kar sakte hain

“mujhe bahot gussa aaya. us par bhi aur khud par bhi! hum har din ek-doosre ko message kar rahe the. usne mujhmein itni dilchaspi li ki main bhi use pasand karne lagi.”—jasmine.

“ek ladka-ladki dating kar rahe the. unke saath aksar main aur ek ladki jaate the. kai baar aisa laga ki unke saath-saath hum donon ki bhi dating chal rahi hai. hum ek-doosre se bahot baatein karte the aur dheron message bhejte the. magar jab usne bataya ki woh mujhe bas ek dost maanti hai to mujhe bada dhakka laga. darasal, woh kisi aur ko chahti thi.”—richard.

“ek ladka mujhe roz message karta tha. kabhi-kabhi to hamare message mein pyar-muhabbat ki baatein hoti thi. magar jab mainne use bataya ki main use pasand karti hoon to woh hansne laga. usne kaha, ‘main abhi kisi ke saath dating nahin karna chahta!’ yah sunkar main kai dinon tak roti rahi.”—tamara.

sau baat ki ek baat: ho sakta hai ki aap kisi ko bahot khaas samajhne lage hon. magar jab aapko pata chalta hai ki yah pyar sirf ek-tarfa hai, to laazimi hai ki aapko gussa aaye, aap sharminda mehsoos karein ya aapko yah bhi lag sakta hai ki aapke saath dhokha hua hai. ek javan ladka steven kehta hai, “jab mere saath aisa hua to main poori tarah toot gaya, mujhe bahot dukh hua. iske baad main jaldi kisi par bharosa nahin kar paaya.”

message ya social media ke zariye yah bahot aasan ho gaya hai ki ek ladka ya ladki baaton-baaton mein aise vyakti ko apna dil de baithe jo use pasand nahin karta. dhyan deejiye ki kuch javanon ne kya kaha.

“ho sakta hai ek ladka sirf time paas karne ke liye aapko message karta hai, lekin shaayad aapko lage ki woh aapmein dilchaspi le raha hai. aur agar woh aapko har din message bhejta hai, to aapko yah galatfhami ho sakti hai ki aap uske liye bahot khaas hain.”—jennifer.

“shaayad ek ladki sachmuch ek ladke ko chahti ho, magar ho sakta hai ladke ko bas koi baat karnevala chahiye jo usmein himmat bhar sake.”—james.

“ek chhote-se ‘good night’ message ko bhi galat samjha jaa sakta hai, haalaanki message bhejnevale ke man mein aapke liye kuch nahin hai. yah aisa hai jaise telemarketer apne grahak ko good night keh raha ho.”—hailey.

“message mein smiley face dekhkar padhnevala shaayad yah samjhe ki ya to usne dost ke naate woh bheja hai ya woh uske saath ishkabazee kar raha hai.”—alicia.

sau baat ki ek baat: agar koi aap par dhyan deta hai to use pyar mat samjhiye.

maana ki aisa kehna aasan hai, magar karna mushkil. bible batati hai, dil sabse bada dhokhebaz hai aur yah utavla hota hai. (yirmayah 17:9) isliye aap ‘pyar ka havai kila’ banane lag sakte hain. magar jaise hi aapko ehsas hota hai ki yah sirf aapki kalpana hai to aapke saare sapne choor ho jaate hain.

• parakhkar dekhiye. thoda rukkar is rishte ke baare mein sochiye. khud se poochhiye, ‘main kyon itne yakeen se keh sakti hoon ki woh mujhe dost se badhkar samajhta hai?’ bhaavnaon mein behkar “apni sochne-samajhne ki shakti” mat kho deejiye.—romiyon 12:1.

• samajh se kaam leejiye. ho sakta hai ki ek vyakti ki baaton se aapko lage ki aap uske liye dost se badhkar hain. vahin kuch baatein aapke man mein shak paida karti hain aur inhin baaton par aapko khaas dhyan dena chahiye. aisa mat maan baithiye ki agar aap use pasand karte hain to iska matlab hai ki woh bhi aapko pasand karta hai.

• sabra rakhiye. jab tak ek vyakti khulkar aapse nahin kehta ki use aapmein dilchaspi hai aur woh aapko aur jaanna chahta hai, tab tak aap khud us rishte ko aage mat badhaiye jisse baad mein aapka dil toot sakta hai.

• sach boliye. bible mein likha hai, “bolne ka bhi samay” hota hai. (sabhopdeshak 3:7) agar aap pata lagana chahte hain ki ek vyakti aapko ek dost se badhkar maanta hai ya nahin, to usse is baare mein baat keejiye. vailri kehti hai, “agar pyar sirf ek-tarfa hai to iske baare mein jaldi pata lagane se aapko utni zyada chot nahin lagegi jitni ki tab lagegi jab aapko maheenon baad pata chalega ki us vyakti ko aapmein koi dilchaspi nahin hai.”

sau baat ki ek baat: neetivachan 4:23 mein likha hai, “apne man ki raksha kar.” agar aap kisi ko pasand karne lagte hain to pata lagaiye ki woh bhi aapko pasand karta hai ya nahin. yah pata lagane se pehle hi use apna dil de baithna aisa hai maano aap patthar par paudha lagane ki koshish kar rahe hon.

agar aapko pata chalta hai ki woh vyakti aapko pasand karta hai aur aapki umra dating ki hai aur aap iske liye taiyar bhi hain, to aap tay kar sakte hain ki aap is rishte ko aage badhana chahte hain ya nahin. yaad rakhiye, shaadi ka bandhan tabhi mazboot hota hai jab parmeshvar ki seva mein pati-patni ke lakshya ek-jaise hon aur woh ek-doosre se koi baat na chhipate hon. (1 kurinthiyon 7:39) darasal, unke rishte ki shurooat ek achhi dosti se hoti hai aur woh zindagi-bhar ek-doosre ke achhe dost bane rehte hain.—neetivachan 5:18.