maan leejiye, aapka jeevan-saathi aapse kuch kehta hai ya aisa kuch karta hai, jisse aapko gussa aa jaata hai. aap apna gussa chhipane ki koshish karte hain. magar aapka saathi bhaanp leta hai ki kuch to hua hai aur woh aapse poochhne lagta hai. isse aapko aur bhi gussa aata hai. aise mein aap apne gusse par kaaboo kaise paa sakte hain?

•  aapko kya pata hona chahiye?

•  aap kya kar sakte hain?

•   gusse se bekaboo ho jaana, aapki sehat ke liye achha nahin hai. khojbeen se pata chala hai ki gusse par kaaboo na paane se high blood pressure, dil ki beemari, paachan se judi samasyayen aur depression hone ka khatra badh jaata hai. yah bhi dekha gaya hai ki jo vyakti apna aapa jaldi kho baithta hai, use aur bhi kai pareshaniyaan hoti hain, jaise nind na aana, chinta mein doobe rehna, charm rog aur strok (mastishk aaghat) hona. bible bilkul sahi salah deti hai, “gussa karna chhod de, . . . kyonki isse sirf nuksan hoga.”​—bhajan 37:8, footnote.

•   gussa dil mein rakhna bhi nuksandayak hota hai. gussa ek zakhm ki tarah hai. agar is par dhyan na diya jaaye aur ise badhne diya jaaye, to yah naasoor ban sakta hai. woh kaise? shaayad aapka ravaiya aisa ho jaaye ki aap har baat mein nuks nikalein. isse aapke jeevan-saathi ka jeena dushvar ho sakta hai aur aapki shaadishuda zindagi bhi tabah ho sakti hai.

•   apne jeevan-saathi mein achhaiyaan dhoondhiye. apne saathi ki aisi teen khoobiyaan likhiye, jo aapko achhi lagti hain. fir agli baar jab aapko apne saathi par gussa aaye, to un khoobiyon ke baare mein sochiye. isse aap apne gusse par kaaboo kar sakeinge.

   pavitra shastra se salah: “dikhao ki tum kitne ehsanmand ho.”​—kulussiyon 3:15.

•   maaf karne ke liye taiyar rahiye. sabse pehle, maamle ko apne saathi ke nazariye se dekhne ki koshish keejiye. is tarah aap hamdardi jata paayenge ya jaise bible kehti hai, “ek-doosre ka dard mehsoos” kar paayenge. (1 patras 3:8) fir khud se poochhiye, ‘kya mere gussa hone ki vajah itni badi hai ki main apne saathi ko maaf nahin kar sakta?’

   pavitra shastra se salah: “thes pahunchne par use andekha karna [ek insan ki] khoobee hai.”​—neetivachan 19:11.

•   pyar se aur soch-samajhkar apne dil ki baat kahiye. baat karte vakt “main” aur “mujhe” jaise shabd istemal keejiye. udahran ke liye, apne saathi se yah mat kahiye, “tum kabhi fon karke nahin batate ki tum kahaan ho, tumhein to koi parvah hi nahin!” iske bajay yah kehna zyada achha hoga, “jab tumhein der ho jaati hai, to mujhe tumhari fikra hone lagti hai, mere man mein tarah-tarah ke khyal aane lagte hain.” is tarah narmi se baat karke aap apne gusse par kaaboo paa sakeinge.

   pavitra shastra se salah: “tumhare bol hamesha man ko bhaanevale aur salone hon.”​—kulussiyon 4:6.

•   dhyan se suniye. apni baat kehne ke baad apne saathi ko bhi bolne ka mauka deejiye aur jab woh bol raha ho, to use beech mein mat tokiye. fir yah jaanne ke liye ki aapne uski baat sahi-sahi samjhi hai ya nahin, use apne shabdon mein dohraiye. ji haan, apne jeevan-saathi ki sirf sunne se aap kaafi had tak apne gusse par kaaboo paa sakte hain.

   pavitra shastra se salah: “har koi sunne mein furti kare, bolne mein utavli na kare.”​—yakub 1:19.