mera janm montreal mein hua jo kanada ke quebec praant ka sabse bada shehar hai. hum chaar bhaai-behen hain aur mammi-paapa ne bade pyar se hamari parvarish ki. hamara bachpan rosemont naam ke shaant ilake mein beeta, jahaan hamari zindagi bade aaram aur sukh se kati.

bachpan mein mujhe bible mein dilchaspi thi. mujhe yaad hai ki jab main 12 saal ka tha, to mainne naye niyam mein yeeshu ki zindagi ke baare mein padha tha aur mujhe woh bahot achha laga tha. logon ke liye yeeshu ke pyar aur uski karuna ke baare mein padhkar main bhi uske jaisa banna chahta tha. dukh ki baat hai ki jaise-jaise main bada hua, meri yah ichha khatm ho gayi kyonki main galat sangat mein pad gaya.

mere pitaji saxophone bajate the jo ek tarah ka baaja hai. unhonne mujhe apna saxophone diya aur unki vajah se hi mujhe sangeet ka shauk hai. yahi shauk aage chalkar meri zindagi ka maksad ban gaya. mujhe sangeet se itna lagav tha ki main kuch hi samay mein guitar bajana seekh gaya. fir mainne kuch doston ke saath milkar apna ek music band shuroo kiya aur hamne kai program bhi kiye. sangeet jagat ke kuch jaane-maane produceron ko mera sangeet pasand aaya aur unhonne mujhe apne saath kaam karne ke liye kaha. fir kya tha, mainne ek badi music company ke saath contract sign kar liya. mere sangeet kaafi mashhoor huye aur quebec ke radio par inhein aksar bajaya jaata tha.

aisa lag raha tha ki mainne apni javani mein sabkuch paa liya hai, naam, shohrat, paisa. sabse badi baat to mujhe apna kaam bahot pasand tha. din mein main gym jaata, interview deta, autograph sign karta aur tv show mein sangeet bajata. fir raat ke vakt main apne program karta aur partiyon mein jaata. mere bahot chahnevale the, lekin unka saamna karna hamesha aasan nahin tha. is vajah se main sharab peene laga aur dheere-dheere drugs bhi lene laga. main anaitik zindagi jeene laga aur mujhe kisi baat ki parvah nahin thi.

kuch log meri jaisi zindagi jeena chahte the kyonki unhein lagta tha ki main bahot khush hoon. bhale hi main khush dikhta tha, lekin andar-hi-andar mujhe khaaleepan mehsoos hota tha. yah khaaleepan tab aur satata tha jab main akela hota tha. is vajah se main maayoos rehne laga aur mujhe tarah-tarah ki chintayen satane lagin. jab main kaamyabee ki bulandiyon par tha, tabhi mere do produceron ki maut aids se ho gayi. isse mujhe bahot sadma laga! mujhe sangeet se bahot pyar hai, lekin is peshe mein logon ka jo rehan-sahan hai, usse mujhe nafrat hone lagi.

main bahot kaamyab tha, lekin mujhe is baat ka bhi ehsas tha ki duniya mein sabkuch theek nahin hai. bhala yahaan itna anyay kyon hai? ishvar kuch karta kyon nahin? in savalon ke javab paane ke liye main ishvar se prarthna karne laga. mainne fir se bible padhna shuroo kiya kyonki mere paas samay tha aur kuch vakt ke liye mera koi program nahin tha. haalaanki mujhe saari baatein to samajh mein nahin aayin, lekin main itna samajh gaya ki is duniya ka ant bahot kareeb hai.

bible padhte vakt mainne jaana ki ek baar yeeshu ne veerane mein 40 din tak upvas kiya. (matti 4:1, 2) mainne socha ki agar main bhi upvas karoon, to shaayad mujhe ishvar mil jaayega. is vajah se mainne upvas shuroo karne ki ek taareekh tay ki. uske do hafte pehle yahova ke do sakshi mere ghar aayen. mainne unhein turant andar bulaya maano main unhin ka intazar kar raha tha. unmein se ek ka naam shaak tha. mainne uski taraf dekhkar seedhe-seedhe poochha, “hamein kaise pata ki hum duniya ke aakhiri dinon mein ji rahe hain?” usne bible se mujhe 2 timuthiyus 3:1-5 padhkar sunaya. mainne un do sakshiyon se ek-ke-baad-ek kai saval kiye. main yah dekhkar prabhavit hua ki unhonne saare savalon ke javab bible se diye. ye sakshi kai baar mujhse milne aaye aur is dauran main samajh gaya ki hamein upvas karne ki zaroorat nahin hai.

main sakshiyon ke saath niyamit taur par bible adhyan karne laga. kuch samay baad mainne apne lambe baal kaat diye aur main raaj-ghar mein honevali saari sabhaon mein jaane laga. vahaan sabhi ne mera pyar se swagat kiya. isse bhi mujhe yakeen ho gaya ki yahi sachchai hai.

beshak, bible se seekhi baaton par chalne ke liye mujhe apni zindagi mein bade-bade badlav karne the. jaise, mujhe drugs ki lat aur anaitik zindagi chhodni thi. mujhe apni soch bhi badalni thi, ab mujhe sirf apne baare mein nahin doosron ke baare mein bhi sochna tha. mere do bachche hain jinki mujhe akele parvarish karni thi. unse pyar karna, unka khayal rakhna aur unhein yahova ke baare mein sikhana ab meri zimmedari thi. is vajah se mainne sangeet ka career chhod diya aur ek kaarkhane mein kam tankhvah par naukri karne laga.

sach kahoon to ye saare badlav karna aasan nahin tha. jab main drugs ki lat chhodne ki koshish kar raha tha, to mujhe shaareerik roop se kai takleefein huin aur kabhi-kabhi to main fir se nasha karne lagta tha. (romiyon 7:19, 21-24) apni anaitik zindagi chhodna mere liye sabse zyada mushkil tha. iske alava, nayi naukri mein main aksar bahot thak jaata tha aur tankhvah bhi kuch khaas nahin milti thi. jo paise main do ghante mein sangeet bajakar kamata tha, ab utne paise kamane mein mujhe teen maheene lag jaate the!

main aasani se haar maan sakta tha, lekin prarthna se mujhe ye badlav karne ki himmat mili. niyamit taur par bible padhne se bhi mujhe kaafi faayda hua. bible ki kuch aayton se mujhe bahot hausla mila. jaise, 2 kurinthiyon 7:1 mein maseehiyon ko badhava diya jaata hai ki woh “tan aur man ki har gandgi ko door karke khud ko shuddh karein.” ek aur aayat se mujhe bharosa mila ki main apni buri aadaton se chhutkara paa sakta hoon. woh hai filippiyon 4:13, jahaan likha hai, “isliye ki jo mujhe taakat deta hai, usi se mujhe sab baaton ke liye shakti milti hai.” sach mein, yahova parmeshvar ne meri prarthnayen suni hain aur bible ki sachchai samajhne aur uske mutabik jeene mein meri madad ki hai. isi baat ne mujhe ubhara ki main apna jeevan use samarpit karoon. (1 patras 4:1, 2) san 1997 mein mainne baptisma liya aur yahova ka sakshi ban gaya.

mujhe poora yakeen hai ki agar mainne apni beeti zindagi na chhodi hoti, to aaj main zinda nahin rehta. ab main sachmuch khush hoon! meri ek pyari patni hai jiska naam elvie hai. woh vaakai mere liye aasheesh saabit hui hai. hum saath milkar poore samay ki seva karte hain aur hamein doosron ko bible ke baare mein sikhana achha lagta hai. is kaam se mujhe bahot khushi aur sukoon milta hai. main yahova ka dil se dhanyavad karta hoon ki usne mujhe apne paas khincha hai.​—yuhanna 6:44.