mera janm kanada ke calgary shehar mein hua tha. jab main bahot chhota tha, tab mammi-paapa ka talak ho gaya. fir main aur mammi naana-naani ke saath rehne lage. woh hum donon se bahot pyar karte the. main unke saath bahot khush tha. mujhe aaj bhi woh din yaad hain.

par meri khushi zyada din tak nahin tiki. mammi-paapa ne dobara ek-doosre se shaadi kar li aur hum amreeka ke missouri raajya ke st. louis shehar mein aa gaye. kuch hi dinon mein main samajh gaya ki paapa bahot bereham hain. ek din ki baat hai, mere naye school ka pehla din tha. school ke bachchon ne mujhe bahot tang kiya aur mujhe peeta. jab paapa ko pata chala ki main pitkar aaya hoon, to unhein bahot gussa aaya. unhonne mujhe bachchon se zyada peeta. us din mainne sabak seekh liya aur fir saat saal ki umra mein mainne pehli baar bachchon ke saath maar-peet ki.

paapa ke gusse ki vajah se mammi dukhi rehne lagi. un donon mein bahot ladaiyaan hoti thi, woh ek-doosre par cheekhte-chillate the. jab main 11 saal ka hua, to main drugs lene laga aur sharab peene laga. main baat-baat par logon se maar-peet karta tha. jab tak mainne apni school ki padhai poori ki, tab tak main khoonkhar aur hinsak kism ka ban gaya tha.

jab main 18 saal ka hua to main amreeki sena (u.s. marine corps) mein bharti ho gaya. vahaan mujhe logon ko maarne ki khaas training mili. paanch saal sena mein rehne ke baad main manovigyan ki padhai karne laga kyonki main f.b.i. ke liye kaam karna chahta tha. mainne amreeka mein apni padhai shuroo ki aur baaki ki padhai kanada jaakar poori ki.

jab main university ki padhai kar raha tha to mainne dekha ki log kitne khudgarz hain, woh sirf apne baare mein sochte hain. aur zindagi ka koi matlab nahin hai. insan ki samasyaon ka koi hal nahin nikaal sakta hai. main yah dekhkar nirash ho gaya aur samajh gaya ki insan is duniya ko behtar nahin bana sakta.

jab mainne dekha ki zindagi ka koi maksad nahin reh gaya, to main bahot zyada sharab peene laga, drugs lene laga, paise aur aurton ke peechhe bhaagne laga. main hamesha yah sochta tha ki kaun-si party mein jaaun, kis aurat ke saath sambandh rakhoon. sena mein mujhe jo training mili thi uski vajah se mujhe laga ki main kisi se bhi lad sakta hoon. sahi-galat ke baare mein mere apne hi usool the aur agar mujhe lagta ki koi kisi ke saath naainsafi kar raha hai, to main use maarta-peetta tha. lekin sach to yah tha ki main kisi ko nyay nahin dila raha tha, main swabhav se gussail ho gaya tha.

ek din main apne dost ke saath apne ghar ke basement mein gair-kaanooni tareeke se charas bechne ki taiyari kar raha tha. hum donon drugs ke nashe mein the. mere dost ne mujhse poochha ki kya main ishvar ko maanta hoon? mainne kaha, “agar ishvar ki vajah se duniya mein dukh-takleefein hain, to main use nahin maanta, na hi use jaanna chahta hoon.” agle din main apni nayi naukri par gaya. vahaan mere saath kaam karnevale ne mujhse ek saval kiya. woh ek yahova ka sakshi tha. usne poochha, “kya aapko lagta hai ki ishvar ki vajah se duniya mein dukh-takleefein hain?” main bahot hairan reh gaya kyonki usne usi vishay par saval kiya jiske baare mein mainne apne dost se baat ki thi. is saval se mujhmein aur jaanne ki ichha jagi. fir agle chhe maheene tak hamne bible se alag-alag vishyon par charcha ki aur usne mere kai mushkil savalon ke javab diye.

main apni mangetar ke saath reh raha tha. use bible mein koi dilchaspi nahin thi. woh nahin chahti thi ki main use bible ki baatein bataun. ek ravivar ke din mainne use bataya ki mainne sakshiyon ko bible adhyan ke liye ghar bulaya hai. agle din jab main kaam se ghar lauta, to mainne dekha ki usne mujhe chhod diya hai aur woh ghar ka saara saaman lekar chali gayi hai. main ghar se baahar gaya aur khoob roya. mainne parmeshvar se prarthna bhi ki. us din pehli baar mainne yahova ka naam lekar prarthna ki.—bhajan 83:18.

uske jaane ke do din baad sakshiyon ke saath mera adhyan shuroo ho gaya. ek pati-patni aap prithvi par paradees mein sarvada jeevit reh sakte hain  kitab se mera adhyan karane aaye the. * us din unke jaane ke baad bhi main woh kitab padhta raha aur mainne us raat tak poori kitab padh daali. woh kitab padhkar mainne jaana ki yahova kitna dayalu hai aur hamein takleef mein dekhkar use bhi takleef hoti hai. (yashayah 63:9) mainne jaana ki woh mujhse kitna pyar karta hai. usne mere liye apna iklauta beta de diya. is baat ne mere dil ko chhoo liya. (1 yuhanna 4:10) mainne yah bhi samjha ki yahova mere saath sabra rakh raha hai, “kyonki woh nahin chahta ki koi bhi naash ho balki yah ki sabko pashchatap karne ka mauka mile.” (2 patras 3:9) main jaan gaya ki yahova chahta hai ki main uska dost banoon.—yuhanna 6:44.

usi hafte main sabhaon mein jaane laga. mere lambe baal the, mainne kaanon mein baaliyaan pehni thi aur main dikhne mein bahot daravna lag raha tha. lekin yahova ke sakshiyon ne bade pyar se mera swagat kiya. woh mujhse aise mile maano main unke parivar ka hissa hoon. unmein sachche maseehiyon ke gun the. mujhe aisa lag raha tha jaisa main apne naana-naani ke ghar aaya hoon, bas yahaan ka maahaul aur achha tha.

mainne bible se jo seekha uska meri zindagi par achha asar hone laga. mainne apne lambe baal kaat diye, anaitik kaam karne chhod diye aur drugs aur sharab lena band kar diya. (1 kurinthiyon 6:9, 10; 11:14) main yahova ko khush karna chahta tha, isliye agar mujhe pata chalta ki yahova ko meri koi aadat pasand nahin, to main bahane nahin banata tha. iske bajay main khud se kehta tha, ‘aaj ke baad main yah kaam kabhi nahin karoonga.’ main bina der kiye apni soch aur vyavhar ko badalne ki koshish karta tha. dheere-dheere mainne dekha ki yahova ki baat maanne se meri zindagi achhi hone lagi hai. adhyan shuroo karne ke chhe maheene baad 29 julai, 1989 ko mainne baptisma le liya aur yahova ka ek sakshi ban gaya.

bible ki badaulat hi main apne swabhav ko badal paaya hoon. pehle jab koi mujhse ladta tha, to main bahot gussa ho jaata tha aur maar-peet karne par utar aata tha. lekin ab main “sabke saath shaanti banaye rakhne” ki poori koshish karta hoon. (romiyon 12:18) main yah sab apne dam par nahin kar paaya hoon, balki yahova ki madad se kar paaya, kyonki usne apni pavitra shakti aur apna vachan diya hai jo ek insan ko badal sakta hai.​—galatiyon 5:22, 23; ibraniyon 4:12.

ab main khud ko khush karne ke liye drugs nahin leta, maar-peet nahin karta, na hi anaitik kaam karta hoon, balki main yahova ko khush karne ki koshish karta hoon. use khush karne ke liye main doosron ko uske baare mein batata hoon. mere baptisme ke kuch saal baad main ek aise desh gaya, jahaan pracharakon ki zyada zaroorat thi. mujhe kai logon ko bible sikhane ka mauka mila. jab mainne dekha ki bible ki salah maanne se unki zindagi badal gayi hai, to mujhe bahot khushi hui. meri mammi bhi yahova ki ek sakshi bani aur iski ek vajah yah hai ki usne mere andar bahot saare badlav dekhe.

san 1999 mein el salvador mein, main us school se graduate hua jise aaj raaj pracharakon ke liye school kaha jaata hai. us school se mainne prachar karna, mandli mein bhaai-behenon ko sikhana aur mandli ki dekhbhal karna seekha. usi saal mainne yoheniya se shaadi ki. tab se hum guatemala mein poore samay ki seva kar rahe hain.

ab main zindagi se nirash nahin hoon, balki bahot khush hoon. bible ki shikshaon ko maanne se mainne anaitik zindagi jeena aur maar-peet karna chhod diya. ab meri zindagi mein pyar aur shaanti ki koi kami nahin hai.