Kwisanchila kukosesha masongola. Nangwa byonkabyo, baji mu masongola bavula baleka kumona byubilo byawama bya benakwabo. Kabiji kino kibalengela kubula kwibasanchila. Shayuka ukwasha baji mu masongola wanembele mu buku wa Emotional Infidelity amba, bavula baji mu masongola beya na kukeba bukwasho kwi aye “batatu muchima pa bintu byabula [mu masongola abo], kechi batako muchima ku byawama byuba benakwabo ne. Beya mu ofweshi wami na kumbuula byo babena kukeba’mba bipimpulwe, kechi baambapo pa byawama byo bakeba’mba bitwajijile mu masongola abo ne. Lukatazho luji na bano beya nakukeba bukwasho ke kubula kumwesha butemwe kupichila mu kusanchila benakwabo pa byawama byo boba.”

Pano anweba ne benakwenu mwakonsha kuchinuzhuka byepi kino?

Kusanchila benakwenu kupwisha makatazho avula mu masongola. Inge baji mu masongola ke basanchile benakwabo pa byubilo byabo byawama, masongola abo akosa bingi. Makatazho a mu masongola nangwatu abaye byepi apela kupwisha inge benakwenu bayuka’mba mwibanemeka bingi.

Banabakazhi. Buku ye twaambapo wa Emotional Infidelity waamba’mba, “Banabakazhi bavula kechi bayuka makatazho apitamo bamwatawabo pa kuba’mba bamwene bintu ba mu bisemi byabo ne.” Ku bantu bamo, luno lukatazho lwakonsha kwikalako nangwatu bamulume ne mukazhi bonse bengila nkito.

Banabalume. Banabalume javula kechi basanchila bakazhi babo pa nkito yo bengila nangwa pa kukomesha baana ne kwingila mingilo ya pa nzubo ne. Ba Fiona * baikala mu masongola myaka isatu baambile’mba: “Atweba bonse tulubankanya, kabiji inge nalubankanya, kinkola bingi ku muchima. Onkao mambo, inge bamwatawami bansanchila pa mingilo ya pa nzubo yo ñingila, nabiji kuteka, kuchapa bivwalo ne mingilotu ikwabo, ngyuka’mba kine bantemwa bingi nangwa kya kuba ndubankanya. Kindetela bingi lusekelo kabiji kintundaika bingi!”

Umvwe balume ne bakazhi ke babule kwisanchila, kileta bingi makatazho mu masongola. Mwanamukazhi wasongolwa wa jizhina ja Valerie waambile’mba: “Inge mukazhobe nangwa mwatawobe ke abule kukusanchila, kipeela bingi kutemwa muntu ungi ukusanchila pa byo uba.”

Monainga byuba benakwenu. Mulungu ubena kwiya, mukateko muchima mukamone byubilo byawama biji na benakwenu. Kabiji mukamone ne bintu byuba balume benu nangwa bakazhi benu bilengela bintu kwenda bulongo pa nzubo, kampe luno byo mwabula kutako muchima. Inge mulungu wapwa, nembai (1) byubilo byo mwatemwa bingi mu balume benu nangwa bakazhi benu (2) bintu byaubile balume benu nangwa bakazhi benu byakwasha kisemi kyenu.—Jifunde ja mu Baibolo: Filipai 4:8.

Mambo ka o kyawamina kutangako bingi muchima ku bintu bibena kuba benakwenu? Mwanamukazhi wasongolwa wa jizhina ja Erika waambile’mba: “Umvwe bantu baikala myaka yavula mu masongola, baleka kwisanchila. Baleka kumona bintu byawama byuba benakwabo, batatu muchima pa bintu benakwabo byo bakubula kuba.”

Ishikishai anweba bene amba: ‘Nanchi ndubako kusanchila bamwatawami nangwa bakazhibami nyi?’ Inge bamwatawenu bawamisha nzubo pafwafwafwa, nanchi mwibatalatu kwa kubula kwibasanchila mambo ye mwingilo wabo nyi? Umvwe yenu balume, nanchi kimukatazha kusanchila bakazhi benu pa kulama baana bulongo na mambo a kuba’mba ye mwingilo wabo nyi? Onkao mambo, monainga ne kusanchila bamwatawenu nangwa bakazhibenu mu bintu byonse byo boba bikatampe nangwa bicheche bikwasha kisemi kyenu.—Jifunde ja mu Baibolo: Loma 12:10.

Isanchilainga kufuma panshi ya muchima. Baibolo waamba’mba: “Saka musanta.” (Kolose 3:15) Onkao mambo, kimye kyonse sanchilainga bamwatawenu nangwa bakazhi benu. Mwanamulume umo wa jizhina ja James waambile’mba: “Inge mukazhami wansanchila pa bintu byo nauba, kintundaika kwingila na ngovu pa kuba’mba ngikale mwanamulume wafwainwa kabiji kindengela kutwajijila kuba bintu bikosesha masongola etu.”—Jifunde ja mu Baibolo: Kolose 4:6.

Balume ne bakazhi besanchila bakosesha masongola abo. Mwanamulume wasongola umo wa jizhina ja Michael waambile’mba: “Umvwe balume ne bakazhi batatu muchima pa bintu byawama byuba benakwabo, kinetu masongola avula inge kechi abena kupwa ne. Inge baikala na makatazho, kechi bakapelawizha kupwisha masongola abo ne, mambo kimye kyonse besanchila pa bintu byawama byo beubila.”