Kachi nge munakushimutwila haukalu namuka-mahyenu, kutala mweji kupihililanga chikuma kuhambakana muze mwaputukanga kushimutwila tahi? Nge mukiko, kaha munahase kuhonesa ukalu kana. Chakulivanga, mwatela kutachikiza ngwenu malunga namapwevo valihandununa mujila veji kuhanjikilangamo vyuma. *

Kakavulu mapwevo vasaka kuhanjika haukalu shimbu kanda vawane mwakuukumishila. Shimbu jimwe, vamona kuhanjika nge hijila yakukumishilamo ukalu.

“Ngweji kwivwanga kumuchima hwo, nge ngunahanjika vyuma vili mumuchima wami, nakutachikiza ngwami lunga lyami nangwivwishisa. Nge ngunakumisa kuhanjika, kaha ngweji kwivwanga kanawa hahaze vene.”—Sirppa. *

“Kangweshi kwecha kushinganyeka haukalu wami kachi nge kangwaulwezele lunga lyamiko. Nge ngunalweze muka-mahyami ukalu wami, kaha ngweji kuuvulyama hahaze vene.”—Ae-Jin.

“Kuhanjika chinafwane nge nguli nakuhehwojola nguwane mwakukumishila ukalu wami.”—Lurdes.

Malunga vafwila kushinganyekanga mwakukumishila ukalu. Mukiko vene, mwomwo kukumisa ukalu cheji kulingisanga lunga atachikize ngwenyi apwa wamulemu. Kuwana mwakukumishila ukalu hijila yimwe yize lunga eji kusololanga nge puwenyi atela kupendamina hali ikiye amukafwe. Ngocho lunga eji kwivwanga kupihya nge vyuma mwahanjika kavavitavilile kuli puwenyiko. Kirk, lunga uze ambata ambile ngwenyi: “Kangwatachikiza ovyo vyeji kukulingisanga ungulweze ukalu wove nge kawasakanga kukukafwako.”

Mukanda waThe Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work wamba ngwawo, “chakavanga mutu atela kwivwishisa ukalu numba awane mwakuukumishila. Watela kulingisa muka-mahyove amone ngwenyi unatachikiza kanawa ukalu wenyi nakwivwishisa nawa omu ali nakwivwa shimbu kanda uwane mwakumukafwila. Kakavulu muka-mahyenu eji kusakanga kaha mwivwilile vyuma mwahanjika, keshi kuwana mwakukumishila ukaluko.”

Malunga: Linangulenu kwivwililanga kanawa kachi nge puwenu ali nakuhanjika. Tomás ambile ngwenyi: “Lwola lumwe nge ngunevwilila vyuma nahanjika puwami, ngweji kushinganyekanga ngwami, ‘Kwivwilila kachakafwako.’ Oloze chikiko asaka puwami.” Stephen nawa etavilile chuma kana ngwenyi: “Ngwachiwana kupwa chamwaza kwivwilila puwami nge anakuhanjika chakuzeneka kumuvatuwiza. Kakavulu nge nakumisa kuhanjika, eji kungulwezanga ngwenyi nevu kumuchima hwo.”

Esekenu echi: Lwola lukwavo namukashimutwila napuwenu haukalu umwe, kalihendenu kukufwila kumulweza vyakulinga nge kamilwezele kulinga ngochoko. Mwatela kumutala nge ali nakuhanjika, nakuhaka mangana kuvyuma ali nakuhanjika. Netulenu kumutwe musolole ngwenu munetavila vyuma ali nakuhanjika. Kaha nawa vulukenu vyuma nahanjika mangana musolole ngwenu munevwishisa vyuma kana. Charles ahanjikile ngwenyi, “Lwola lumwe puwami eji kusakanga kaha kumona ngwenyi nguli nakwivwishisa vyuma ali nakuhanjika nakutachikiza ngwenyi ngunakumukundwiza.”—Lushimbi lwamuMbimbiliya: WaYakova 1:19.

Mapwevo: Lwezenu lunga lyenu vyuma munakusaka. Eleni ambile ngwenyi: “Tweji kushinganyekanga ngwetu malunga jetu vanejiva vyuma tunakusaka, olozenyi lwola lumwe twatela kuvalweza hatoma vyuma kana.” Pwevo walijina lyaYnez ahanjikile omu nahase kulweza lunga lyenyi. Ambile ngwenyi: “Kuli vyuma vimwe vize vili nakunguyanjisa, kaha nguli nakusaka mungwivwilile. Kangweshi nakusaka muwane mwakukumishila ukalu kanako, oloze nguli nakufwila mutachikize omu nguli nakwivwa.”

Esekenu echi: Kachi nge lunga lyenu mwamilweza washi mwakukumishila ukalu shimbu kanda mukumise kuhanjika, kaha kamwatela kukukulula ngwenu kamizakamako. Oloze mwatela kwijiva ngwenu ali nakusaka kumikafwa. Ester ambile ngwenyi: “Muchishishisa chakupihilila, ngweji kumonanga ngwami lunga lyami anguzakama kaha nawa ali nakusaka kungwivwilila nakungukafwa.”—Lushimbi lwamuMbimbiliya: Wavaka-Loma 12:10.

Vyuma vatela kulinga valunga napwevo: Tweji kufwila kulingila vakwetu vyuma vize twasaka nayetu vatulingile. Chipwe ngocho, hakusaka mushimutwile kanawa haukalu, mwatela kushinganyeka havyuma asaka muka-mahyenu. (Wavaka-Kolinde 1, 10:24) Miguel, lunga uze ambata ambile ngwenyi: “Nge mwambata, kaha mwatela kwivwililanga kanawa kuvyuma mwahanjika puwenu. Nge mwasomboka, kaha mwatela kupwa vakulizanga kwivwilila kuvyuma mwamikafwa lunga lyenu. Nge namufwila kwitavila vyuma asaka muka-mahyenu, kaha muvosena muvavali namunganyala.”—Lushimbi lwamuMbimbiliya: WaPetulu 1, 3:8.