1, 2. (a) Abantu abasanda kutshada bayabe bekhangeleleni? (b) Sizaxoxa ngayiphi imibuzo esahlukweni lesi?

AKE ucabange ngokuthi indoda lomfazi bayabe bethabe njani ngelanga lomtshado wabo. Phela bayabe bekhangelele ukuthi bazahlala ndawonye okwempilo yabo yonke bethokoza.

² Iqiniso yikuthi akusoze kuhlale kumnandi emulini yabo kodwa nxa bangalalela uJehova bazahlala bethokoza. Ake sibone ukuthi iBhayibhili liyiphendula njani imibuzo elandelayo: Kunceda ngani ukutshada? Kuyini okungakunceda ukuthi ukhethe kuhle umuntu wokutshada laye? Kuyini ongakwenza ukuze ube yindoda kumbe umfazi ongcono? Kuyini okungenza umtshado ungachitheki?​—Bala iZaga 3:5, 6.

3. Ubona angani umuntu kumele atshade yini ukuze athokoze? Chasisa.

³ Abanye abantu bacabanga ukuthi ukutshada yikho kodwa okungenza umuntu athokoze. Lokhu akusilo qiniso ngoba uJesu wathi abanye balesipho  sokuhlala bengatshadanga. (UMathewu 19:11, 12) Umphostoli uPhawuli wathi ukungatshadi kulobuhle bakho. (1 KwabaseKhorinte 7:32-38) Umuntu munye ngamunye uyazikhethela ukuthi uyafuna ukutshada yini loba hatshi. Akumelanga utshade ngenxa yokuthi ulandela amasiko kumbe ufuna ukuthabisa abangane lezihlobo.

4. IBhayibhili lithini ngokutshada?

⁴ IBhayibhili lithi ukutshada kuyisipho esivela kuNkulunkulu futhi kulobuhle bakho. UJehova wakhuluma ngo-Adamu wathi: “Kakukuhle ukuba indoda ibe yodwa. Ngizamenzela umsizi omfaneleyo.” (UGenesisi 2:18) UJehova wadala u-Eva ukuthi abe yinkosikazi ka-Adamu futhi baba yimuli yokuqala. Nxa abatshadileyo bengaba labantwana, kungumsebenzi wabo ukuthi babakhulise kuhle. Kodwa ukufuna ukuba labantwana ayisikho kodwa okungenza umuntu atshade.​—IHubo 127:3; Kwabase-Efesu 6:1-4.

5, 6. Kuyini okungenza umtshado ube ‘njengentambo elemicu emithathu’?

⁵ INkosi uSolomoni yabhala yathi: “Ababili bangcono kuloyedwa, ngoba balomvuzo obonakalayo ngomsebenzi wabo. Omunye angawa, umngane wakhe uyamncedisa amvuse. Kodwa maye lowomuntu owayo kungelamuntu ongamsiza amvuse! . . Intambo elemicu emithathu kayiqamuki lula.”​—UmTshumayeli 4:9-12.

⁶ Nxa abantu abatshadileyo bangaba ngabangane, bancedisane, baduduzane futhi bavikelane  bazathokoza. Kodwa ukukhonza uJehova yikho okuzabenza bathokoze kakhulu. Umtshado wabo uzakuba ‘njengentambo elemicu emithathu,’ okutsho intambo ephothwe yaphindwa kathathu. Intambo enjalo iqine ukwedlula ephindwe kabili. Yikho umtshado uyaqina nxa abantu abatshadileyo besenza lokho uJehova akufunayo.

7, 8. IBhayibhili lithini ngokutshada?

⁷ Nxa abantu sebetshadile bayabe sebengahlangana emacansini. (IZaga 5:18) Kodwa umuntu otshadela ukusuthisa isifiso sakhe semacansini ngeke akhethe kuhle umuntu wokutshada laye. Yikho iBhayibhili lisithi umuntu kumele atshade nxa esedlule isikhathi lapho isifiso sokuya emacansini esilamandla khona. (1 KwabaseKhorinte 7:36) Kungcono ukuqala ume isikhathi leso size sidlule. Lokhu kuzakwenza ucabange kuhle futhi wenze isinqumo esingcono kakhulu.—1 KwabaseKhorinte 7:9; UJakhobe 1:15.

⁸ Nxa ufuna ukutshada kumele ukhumbule ukuthi bonke abantu abatshadayo bazakuba lezinhlupho. IBhayibhili lithi abatshadayo “bazabona izinhlupho ezinengi.” (1 KwabaseKhorinte 7:28) Lalabo abakhanya bethokoza balazo izinhlupho. Yikho kumele ukhethe kuhle umuntu wokutshada laye.

9, 10. Kungenzakalani nxa singatshada lomuntu ongamkhonziyo uJehova?

⁹ Isimiso okumele usilandele lapho ukhetha  umuntu ozatshada laye yilesi esithi: “Lingazibopheli ndawonye labangakholwayo.” (2 KwabaseKhorinte 6:14) Umzekeliso lo usekelwe kulokho okwenzakala nxa abantu belima. Umlimi kabophi izifuyo ezingalinganiyo ejogweni linye ngoba lokhu kungenza izifuyo lezo zilimale. Ngendlela efananayo, nxa umuntu okhonza uJehova angatshada lomuntu ongakhonziyo bazakuba lezinhlupho ezinengi. Yikho iBhayibhili lisicebisa ukuthi sitshade ‘eNkosini’ kuphela.​—1 KwabaseKhorinte 7:39.

¹⁰ Amanye amaKhristu angabona angani kungcono ukutshada lomuntu ongayisuye Fakazi kulokuthi ahlale engatshadanga. Izikhathi ezinengi amaKhristu enza njalo acina ethwele nzima emtshadweni. Kumele siqakathekise ukukhonza uJehova ukwedlula loba yini, yikho kuba buhlungu kakhulu nxa sesisehluleka ukwenza njalo ngenxa yomuntu esitshade laye. Abanengi bakubona kungcono ukuhlala bengatshadanga kulokutshada lomuntu ongamkhonziyo uJehova.​—Bala iHubo 32:8.

11. Kuyini okungakunceda ukuthi ukhethe kuhle umuntu ozatshada laye?

¹¹ Lasebandleni kumele ukhethe kuhle umuntu ozatshada laye. Kumele ukhethe umuntu omthandayo futhi elizwananayo. Linda uze uthole umuntu oqakathekisa ukukhonza uNkulunkulu. Bala futhi ucabangisise ngalokho inceku ethembekileyo esitshela khona ngezindaba zomtshado.​—Bala iHubo 119:105.

12. Kuyini esingakufunda eBhayibhilini mayelana lemitshado ehlelwa ngabazali?

 ¹² Kwamanye amasiko abazali yibo abakhethela umntanabo umuntu wokutshada laye. Abalandela isiko leli bacabanga ukuthi abazali yibo abakwazi ngcono okungenza umntanabo athokoze. Lokhu kwakujayelekile ngezikhathi zeBhayibhili. Yikho nxa abazali bakho bangakhetha ukulandela isiko elinjalo, iBhayibhili lingabanceda bakhethe umuntu olobuntu obuhle. Ngesikhathi u-Abhrahama edingela u-Isaka umfazi, ayekuqakathekisa kakhulu  yikuthi kube ngumfazi othanda uJehova.​—UGenesisi 24:3, 67; khangela Amabala Asekucineni 25.

13-15. (a) Kuyini okumele ijaha licabange ngakho nxa lifuna ukutshada? (b) Kuyini okumele owesifazane akucabange nxa efuna ukutshada?

¹³ Nxa usufuna ukutshada kumele ube leqiniso lokuthi usukulungele sibili. Ake sixoxe ngokunye okungakunceda ukuthi uwulungele umtshado lanxa wena ubona angani usuwulungele. Okunye kwakhona kungakumangalisa sibili.

¹⁴ IBhayibhili litshengisa ukuthi amadoda labafazi balemisebenzi etshiyeneyo emulini. Nxa ijaha lifuna ukutshada kumele lizibuze ukuthi selikulungele yini ukuba yinhloko yemuli. UJehova ukhangelele ukuthi indoda inakekele imuli yayo futhi iyithande. Okuqakatheke kakhulu okumele kwenziwe yindoda yikufundisa imuli yayo ngoJehova. IBhayibhili lithi indoda engayinakekeliyo imuli yayo ‘imbi kakhulu kulongakholwayo.’ (1 KuThimothi 5:8) Yikho nxa ulijaha futhi ufuna ukutshada kumele ucabange ngesimiso lesi: “Qeda umsebenzi wakho phandle ulungise lamasimu akho; kuthi-ke usuqedile wakhe indlu yakho.” Lokhu kutsho ukuthi kumele ube leqiniso lokuthi uzakwenza konke uJehova alindele ukuthi kwenziwe ngamadoda atshadileyo.​—IZaga 24:27.

¹⁵ Owesifazane ocabanga ukutshada kumele  azibuze ukuthi usekulungele yini ukuba ngumama womuzi. IBhayibhili likhuluma ngokunye okumele kwenziwe ngabafazi ukuze banakekele abantwababo labomkabo. (IZaga 31:10-31) Namuhla abantu abanengi bahlala becabanga ngalokho abafuna ukukwenzelwa ngumuntu abatshade laye kodwa uJehova ufuna sicabange ngalokho esingakwenzela labo esitshade labo.

16, 17. Kuyini okumele ucabangisise ngakho nxa ufuna ukutshada?

¹⁶ Ungakatshadi kumele ucabangisise ngalokho uJehova alindele ukuthi kwenziwe ngabatshadileyo. Ukuba yinhloko yemuli akutsho ukuthi kumele uphathe umkakho labantwana ngendlela elukhuni. Inhloko yemuli kumele ilandele isibonelo sikaJesu owayelothando njalo elomusa. (Kwabase-Efesu 5:23) Umfazi yena kumele acabange ngalokho okuzamele akwenze ukuze asekele izinqumo zomkakhe njalo abambisane laye. (KwabaseRoma 7:2) Kumele azibuze ukuthi uzakwenelisa yini ukuzithoba kumkakhe. Nxa ebona angani kasoze enelise kumele aqale ame ukutshada.

¹⁷ Umuntu otshadileyo kumele acabange ngokuthokozisa omunye wakhe hatshi ukuzithokozisa yena. (Bala uFiliphi 2:4.) UPhawuli wabhala wathi: “Kodwa omunye lomunye wenu laye kathande umkakhe njengoba ezithanda, lomfazi kumele ahloniphe indoda yakhe.” (Kwabase-Efesu 5:21-33) Abantu abatshadileyo kumele bathandane njalo bahloniphane. Indoda kumele imthande umkayo njalo lomfazi kumele amhloniphe umkakhe.

18. Kungani kumele abantu abathandanayo bananzelele kakhulu?

 ¹⁸ Isikhathi sokuthandana kwejaha lentombi kumele sibe ngesithokozisayo. Isikhathi lesi ngesokubasiza babone ukuthi bangenelisa ukuhlala bonke yini. Kanti njalo isikhathi lesi siyabasiza ukuthi bafundane njalo bazane ngcono. Kungokwemvelo ukuthi uthando lukhule lokuthi imizwa ibe lamandla ngesikhathi lesi. Yikho kumele bananzelele njalo bazibambe ukuze bangacini sebeziphatha kubi kwezemacansini.  Nxa bethandana sibili kabasoze benze loba yini ezaphambanisa ubuhlobo babo loJehova.​—1 KwabaseThesalonika 4:6.

19, 20. Yiwuphi umbono okufanele sibe lawo ngomtshado?

¹⁹ Namuhla abantu abanengi abakunanzeleli ukuthi ilanga lomtshado liyisiqalo nje. UJehova wasungula umtshado elenjongo yokuthi ungachitheki.​—UGenesisi 2:24.

²⁰ Abantu abanengi babona angani umtshado yinto yokudlala ngayo. Bacabanga ukuthi nxa bangaba lezinhlupho bangaphonguchitha umtshado kumbe bahlale behlukene. Kodwa kumele bacabange ngomzekeliso oseBhayibhilini ofananisa umtshado lentambo elemicu emithathu. Intambo enjalo kayiqamuki lula. Yikho ukulalela uJehova kungasiza abatshadileyo nxa belezinhlupho. UJesu wathi: “Lokho uNkulunkulu asekuhlanganisile akungehlukaniswa muntu.”​—UMathewu 19:6.

21. Kuyini okungasiza abatshadileyo ukuthi bahlale bethandana?

²¹ Sonke siyawenza amaphutha njalo kulalapho esenza kuhle khona. Kulula ukuthi ubone amaphutha abanye ikakhulu awomkakho. Kodwa lokho akusoze kulenze lithokoze. Yikho kufanele ukhangele okuhle okwenziwa ngumuntu otshade laye ukuze lithokoze. Lokhu kuyanceda sibili. Cabanga ngesibonelo sikaJehova, uyakwazi ukuthi silamaphutha kodwa ukhangela okuhle esikwenzayo.  IBhayibhili lithi: “Aluba wena, O Jehova, ububhala phansi zonke izono, ngubani ongema na?” (IHubo 130:3) Nxa utshadile kumele ulingisele uJehova ngokukhangela okuhle okwenziwa ngotshade laye.​—Bala uKholose 3:13.

22, 23. U-Abhrahama loSara bayisibonelo esihle ngayiphi indlela?

²² Uthando lwabantu abatshadileyo luyakhula  ngokuhamba kweminyaka. U-Abhrahama loSara bahlala isikhathi eside betshadile njalo bethokoza. Kungenzakala ukuthi uSara wayeseleminyaka edlula 60 ngesikhathi uJehova etshela u-Abhrahama ukuthi asuke edolobheni lase-Uri. Kufanele ukuthi uSara wezwa ubuhlungu njengoba kwasokumele atshiye umuzi wakhe ayehlala ematendeni. Lanxa kunjalo uSara walalela ngoba wayemthanda u-Abhrahama njalo emhlonipha. Wabambisana laye ukuze lokho ababehlele ukukwenza kuphumelele.​—UGenesisi 18:12; 1 UPhetro 3:6.

²³ Ukuthokoza emtshadweni akutsho ukuthi lizahlala livumelana. Ngesikhathi u-Abhrahama engavumelani loSara, uJehova wathi: ‘Lalela uSara.’ U-Abhrahama wakwenza lokho njalo kwaba lempumela emihle. (UGenesisi 21:9-13) Nxa wena lomkakho lingavumelani akutsho ukuthi lingabantu ababi. Okuqakathekileyo yikuthi lihloniphane njalo lithandane.

24. Kuyini okungenziwa ngabafuna ukutshada ukuze bajabulise uJehova?

²⁴ Ebandleni kulezimuli ezinengi ezithokozayo. Nxa ufuna ukutshada kumele ukhumbule ukuthi uyabe usenza isinqumo esiqakatheke kakhulu. Kumele ucele uJehova ukuthi akusize ngoba lesi yisinqumo sokuphila kwakho konke. Nxa ungenza njalo uzakhetha kuhle umuntu wokutshada laye, ukulungele ukutshada njalo uhlalisane kuhle lomkakho. Lokhu kuzamthokozisa uJehova.