1. Lanxa ilanga lomtshado lithokozisa, kuyini okumele abatshadayo bakukhangelele? (Khangela umfanekiso osekuqaliseni.)

NANGU umakoti ethutsha ngesimhlophe eqonda kumyeni wakhe. Leli lilanga elikhulu kubo futhi nxa ubakhangele awuyiphumputhi injabulo esebusweni babo. Uthando lwabo belulokhu luvutha selokhu baqala ukuthandana njalo khathesi sebezimisele ukufunga ukuthi bazathembeka komunye lomunye. Iqiniso elikhona yikuthi kuzamele laba abatshadayo benze untshintsho olukhulu ngoba umtshado uhlanganisa abantu ababili abatshiyeneyo. UJehova nguye owaqalisa umtshado njalo ufuna bonke abatshadileyo bathokoze lanxa bengabantu abalesono. Ngakho usinike iLizwi lakhe elilezeluleko ezingabanceda ukuthi baphumelele emitshadweni yabo. (Zaga. 18:22) Lanxa kunjalo iMibhalo ikubeka kucace ukuthi bonke abantu abatshadayo bazahlangana ‘lezinhlupho ezinengi.’ (1 Khor. 7:28) Kuyini okungenziwa ukuze izinhlupho lezo zibe nganeno? Singenzani ukuze imitshado yethu iphumelele?

2. Yiphi imihlobo yothando abatshadileyo okumele babe layo?

 ² IBhayibhili litshengisa ukuthi uthando luqakathekile emtshadweni. Likhuluma ngemihlobo emine yothando okumele abatshadileyo babe layo. Ngokwesibonelo kumele babe lothando oluthiwa yi-phi·liʹa ngesiGiriki, olwenza ababili babe ngabangane. Kumele futhi babe lothando oluthiwa yi-eʹros, uthando oluphakathi kwendoda lomfazi. Kanti njalo kumele babe lalolu oluthiwa yi-stor·geʹ olubakhona phakathi kwabantu abayizihlobo futhi ludingakala kakhulu nxa sekuzelwe abantwana. Kodwa uthando olusekelwe ezimisweni oluthiwa yi-a·gaʹpe yilo olwenza ukuthi umtshado uphumelele. Ngesikhathi umphostoli uPhawuli ekhuluma ngothando lolu wathi: “Omunye lomunye wenu laye kathande umkakhe njengoba ezithanda, lomfazi kumele ahloniphe indoda yakhe.”—Efe. 5:33.

3. Abatshadileyo kumele babe lothando oluqine kangakanani?

³ UPhawuli wabhala wathi: “Madoda, thandani omkenu, njengoKhristu owathanda ibandla wazinikela ngenxa yalo.” (Efe. 5:25) UJesu wayebathanda kakhulu abalandeli bakhe, yikho lathi kumele sithandane. (Bala uJohane 13:34, 35; 15:12, 13.) Nxa umthanda omunye wakho ungazimisela lokumfela. Kodwa okujayelekileyo yikuthi nxa kungaba lezinhlupho ezinkulu abanye bayaphelelwa luthando. Manje kuyini okungabanceda? Yikuba lothando oluthiwa yi-a·gaʹpe. Uthando lolu “luhlezi luvikela, luhlezi lukholwa, luhlezi luthemba, luhlezi lubekezela” njalo “kalupheli.” (1 Khor. 13:7, 8) Kumele bahlale bekhumbula isifungo abasenzayo sokuthi bazahlala bethandana futhi bethembekile komunye lomunye. Ukwenza njalo kuzabafuqa ukuthi basebenzise izimiso zikaJehova nxa belungisa loba yiziphi izinhlupho ezingabakhona emtshadweni wabo.

4, 5. (a) Indoda ilawuphi umthwalo emulini? (b) Umfazi kumele amphathe njani umyeni wakhe? (c) Yiluphi untshintsho olwenziwa ngenye indoda lomkayo?

⁴ UPhawuli wakhuluma ngokumele kwenziwe yindoda lomkayo emulini. Wathi: “Bafazi zehliseleni phansi kwabomkenu njengaseNkosini. Ngoba indoda iyinhloko yomfazi njengoKhristu eyinhloko yebandla.” (Efe. 5:22, 23) Ukuzehlisa lokhu akwenzi owesifazana abe yisichaka endodeni yakhe. Okukhona yikuthi kuyamnceda ukuthi agcwalise injongo uNkulunkulu ayevele elayo ngesikhathi esithi: ‘Kakukuhle ukuba indoda [u-Adamu] ibe yodwa. Ngizayenzela umsizi oyifaneleyo.’ (Gen. 2:18) UKhristu ‘uyinhloko yebandla’ njalo uyalithanda ibandla lakhe, yikho lendoda kumele imthande kakhulu umkayo. Ingenza njalo kuzakuba lula ukuthi umkayo ayihloniphe, ayisekele njalo azithobe kuyo.

⁵ Omunye udade otshadileyo okuthiwa nguCathy ^[1] uyavuma ukuthi nxa umuntu angatshada kuyadingakala ukuthi antshintshe. Uthi: “Ngingakatshadi ngangizenzela izinto ngokuthanda kwami. Sengitshadile kwasekumele ngifunde ukuthi umkami nguye osekhokhela emulini. Bekungalula ukuthi ngintshintshe, kodwa ukulandela izimiso eziseMibhalweni kusincedile ukuthi siqinise ubungane bethu.” Umkakhe uFred uthi: “Ukwenza izinqumo kwakuvele kungalula kimi. Sengitshadile kwaba nzima kakhulu ngenxa yokuthi sasesibabili. Kodwa ukuthandaza kuJehova ngicela ukuthi angiqondise kanye lokulalela umkami nxa esitsho umbono wakhe kwenza izinto zibe lula nsuku zonke. Khathesi izinto zihamba kuhle ngoba mina lomkami siyabambisana kukho konke esikwenzayo.”

6. Uthando lubanceda njani abatshadileyo nxa kungaba lokungazwanani?

⁶ Awukho umuzi ongathunqi ntuthu, yikho ukuze umtshado uphumelele kumele indoda lomkayo bazimisele ukuthethelelana. Kumele baqhubeke  ‘bebekezelelana njalo bethethelelana loba kuyinsolo bani omunye angaba layo ngomunye.’ Kanti njalo ukungazwanani okungaba khona kungabanika ithuba lokuthi bafunde emaphutheni abo, bafunde ukuthethelelana njalo bavumele ukuthi uthando lubuse emtshadweni wabo. Phela iBhayibhili lithi uthando ‘lubophela ndawonye kube yikumanyana okupheleleyo.’ (Kol. 3:13, 14) Liphinde lithi ‘uthando luyabekezela, lulomusa, kalubambeli izikhwili.’ (1 Khor. 13:4, 5) Nxa kungaba lokungazwanani abatshadileyo kumele bakulungisise masinyane. Kungaba kuhle ukuthi bakwenze lokhu ilanga lingakatshoni. (Efe. 4:26, 27) Kudinga isibindi lokuthobeka ukuthi uxolise komunye wakho nxa umzwise ubuhlungu. Ukwenza njalo kuyanceda kakhulu futhi kwenza ube seduze lomngane wakho.

7, 8. (a) IBhayibhili libanika siphi iseluleko abantu abatshadileyo mayelana lendaba yemacansini? (b) Kungani kumele abatshadileyo baphathane ngozwelo?

⁷ IBhayibhili linika abatshadileyo iseluleko esingabanceda ukuthi baphathane kuhle endabeni yomlandu wokuthathana. (Bala u-1 Khorinte 7:3-5.) Ukucabangela imizwa yomunye lezidingo zakhe kuqakathekile endabeni le. Nxa indoda imkhahlameza umkayo kungaba nzima ukuthi akukhwabithe ukuhlangana layo emacansini. IBhayibhili likhuthaza amadoda ukuthi aphathe ‘omkawo ngokwazi.’ (1 Phet. 3:7, The Holy Bible in Ndebele) Ukuya emacansini akufanelanga kube yindaba yokubamba omunye wakho ngenkani, kumele kwenziwe ngokuvumelana. Phela bathi ingakhahlanyezwa kayehlisi, kumele uyitshotshozele. Isikhathi esinengi imizwa yamadoda iseduze kuleyabomama. Ngakho kumele kube yisikhathi esiqondileyo kubo bobabili.

⁸ Lanxa iBhayibhili lingabeki imithetho mayelana lokuthi abatshadileyo kumele badlale njani loba okwesikhathi esinganani bengakayi emacansini, liyaqamba ezinye izindlela zokutshengisana uthando. (INgoma. 1:2; 2:6) Yikho-ke abatshadileyo kufanele baphathane ngozwelo.

9. Yiphi imikhuba engalunganga okumele ibalekelwe ngabantu abatshadileyo?

⁹ Ukuthanda uNkulunkulu lomakhelwana kumele kusifuqe ukuthi singavumeli loba yini iphambanise umtshado wethu. Abanye abantu abatshadileyo kabasathembani njalo eminye imitshado seyachitheka ngenxa yokuthi omunye phakathi kwabo uyabe ebuka imifanekiso loba amavidiyo atshengisa abantu besemacansini (iphonogirafi). Kubi ukubukela izinto lezi ezingcolileyo loba ukwenza eminye imikhutshana etshengisa ukungahloniphi umtshado. Omunye umkhuba ongalunganga yikuzidlisa satshanyana komunye umuntu ngapha wena utshadile ngoba kutshengisa ukuthi awumthandi omunye wakho. Kufanele sikhumbule ukuthi uNkulunkulu uyakubona esikucabangayo lezenzo zethu futhi ukwenza njalo kuzasinceda ukuthi sihlale sithembekile kulowo esitshade laye.—Bala uMathewu 5:27, 28; loHebheru 4:13.

10, 11. (a) Sekwande kangakanani ukuchitheka kwemitshado? (b) IBhayibhili lithini ngokwehlukana? (c) Kuyini okungasiza abantu abatshadileyo ukuthi bangagijimeli ukwehlukana?

¹⁰ Izinhlupho ezingapheliyo emtshadweni zingabangela ukuthi abatshadileyo bacine bekhetha ukwehlukana okwesikhatshana loba ukuchitha umtshado. Emazweni amanengi imitshado ichitheka ukusa kwamalanga. Lanxa lokhu kungandanga ebantwini abatshadileyo abangamaKhristu, sekunanzelelwe ukuthi abanengi kabahlalisananga kuhle.

¹¹ IBhayibhili lithi: “Umfazi akumelanga ehlukane lendoda yakhe. Kodwa uma ekwenzile, kahlale engendanga loba abuyisane lendoda yakhe. Lendoda akumelanga imlahle umkayo.”  (1 Khor. 7:10, 11) Ukwehlukana lomuntu otshade laye yindaba okungamelanga ithathwe lula. Abanye bangabona angani ukwehlukana okwesikhatshana yindlela yokulungisa izinhlupho abalazo, kodwa izikhathi ezinengi kubangela ezinye izinhlupho. Ngemva kokuphinda amazwi akhulunywa nguNkulunkulu mayelana lokuthi indoda izatshiya uyise lonina inamathele kumkayo, uJesu wathi: “Lokho uNkulunkulu asekuhlanganisile akungehlukaniswa muntu.” (Mat. 19:3-6; Gen. 2:24) Lokhu kutsho ukuthi akulamuntu otshadileyo okumele ehlukanise “lokho uNkulunkulu asekuhlanganisile.” UJehova ukhangelele ukuthi abatshadileyo bahlale bonke baze behlukaniswe yikufa kuphela. (1 Khor. 7:39) Ukwazi ukuthi sonke sizalandisa kuNkulunkulu kumele kusenze ukuthi sizame ngamandla wonke ukulungisisa masinyane zonke izingxabano, singaziyekeli zilavuka zisiba ngumlilo ongabhulekiyo.

12. Kuyini okungenza umuntu otshadileyo acabange ukwehlukana lomunye wakhe?

12 Okunye okungabangela izinhlupho emtshadweni yikuthi izinto azisazange zihambe ngendlela umuntu abefisa ngayo. Lokhu kungenza ukuthi umuntu aqalise ukuzwa ubuhlungu, ukuzisola futhi acabange ukuthi waqilwa. Okunye okungabangela ukungazwanani yindlela esakhuliswa ngayo lendlela omunye umuntu ayiyo yona. Ikanti abanye bangaxatshaniswa yizindaba eziphathelane labazali, ukukhulisa abantwana kanye lendlela yokusebenzisa imali. Kodwa okuhle yikuthi amaKhristu amanengi atshadileyo ayenelisa ukulungisisa izinhlupho alazo ngoba ayavumela ukuthi uNkulunkulu awaqondise.

13. Yiziphi izizatho ezingabangela ukuthi abatshadileyo behlukane?

¹³ Kwezinye izikhathi zingabakhona izizatho ezingabangela ukuthi abatshadileyo behlukane okwesikhatshana. Ngokwesibonelo ukuyekela ukondla imuli ngabomo, ukutshaywa njalonje kanye lokuvinjelwa ukukhonza uJehova. Nxa amaKhristu atshadileyo esephakathi kwezinhlupho ezingapheliyo kumele abonane labadala bebandla. Abadala bangabasiza ukuthi basebenzise iseluleko esiseLizwini likaNkulunkulu. Okunye okungabanceda yikuthandaza kuJehova becela umoya wakhe ongcwele ukuze ubancede ukuthi benelise ukusebenzisa izimiso eziseBhayibhilini futhi batshengise izithelo zomoya.—Gal. 5:22, 23. ^[2]

14. IBhayibhili lithini kumaKhristu atshade labantu abangayisibo boFakazi?

¹⁴ Amanye amaKhristu atshade labantu abangayisibo boFakazi. IBhayibhili linika abanjalo izizatho zokuthi kungani kungamelanga behlukane labomkabo. (Bala u-1 Khorinte 7:12-14.) Indoda engakholwayo ‘ingcwelisiwe’ ngenxa yokuthi itshade lomuntu okhonza uNkulunkulu. Ngitsho labantwababo abasesebancane “bangcwele” njalo balethuba lokuvikelwa nguNkulunkulu. UPhawuli uthi: “Wazi njani, mfazi, langabe uzasindisa indoda yakho. Loba, wazi njani, ndoda langabe uzasindisa umkakho?” (1 Khor. 7:16) Phose kuwo wonke amabandla aboFakazi bakaJehova bakhona abatshadileyo abancede omkabo ukuthi babe yizinceku zikaJehova.

15, 16. (a) IBhayibhili libatshelani abesifazana abalabomkabo abangayisibo boFakazi? (b) UmKhristu kumele enzeni nxa umkakhe ‘ongakholwayo emtshiya’?

¹⁵ Umphostoli uPhetro watshela abesifazana abatshadileyo ukuthi bazehlise kubomkabo ‘ukuze kuthi uma abanye bengalikholwa ilizwi, bahugeke ngokuziphatha kwabomkabo kungekho kukhuluma, lapho bebona ukuhlanzeka lenhlonipho yokuphila kwabo.’ Nxa inkosikazi ihlala itshumayeza umkayo njalonje ngalokho ekukholwayo kungaba nzima ukuthi antshintshe kodwa nxa ingaziphatha ‘ngomoya omnene lothuleyo, oligugu elikhulu emehlweni kaNkulunkulu,’ umyeni wayo angacina esekhonza uJehova.—1 Phet. 3:1-4.

¹⁶ Kodwa kuthiwani nxa kuyikuthi lo ongakholwayo  ukhetha ukwehlukana lomkakhe? IBhayibhili lithi: ‘Uma ongakholwayo etshiya [umkakhe], myekeleni enze njalo. Indoda ekholwayo loba kungumfazi ophakathi komumo onje kabotshelwanga; uNkulunkulu usibizele ukuhlala ngokuthula.’ (1 Khor. 7:15) Lanxa ukwehlukana okwesikhatshana kungenza umKhristu ahlale ngokuthula, kakhululekanga ukuphinda atshade njalo akumelanga ambambe ngamandla omunye wakhe nxa esekhetha ukumfulathela amtshiye. Kanti njalo akumelanga alahle ithemba, mhlawumbe omunye wakhe angaphenduka baphinde bahlalisane kuhle emtshadweni wabo futhi acine esenguFakazi.

17. Kuyini okumele kuqakathekiswe ngabatshadileyo?

¹⁷ Sesikomlindi uyacina futhi siphakathi ‘kwezikhathi ezinzima.’ (2 Tim. 3:1-5) Yikho-ke ukuhlala silokholo oluqinileyo kuzasinceda ukuthi simelane lezinto ezimbi ezisemhlabeni lo. UPhawuli wathi: “Isikhathi sifitshane. Kusukela khathesi kusiya phambili labo abalabafazi kabaphile kungathi kabalabo; . . . labo abasebenzisa izinto zasemhlabeni, kube angathi kabathathekanga kuzo.” (1 Khor. 7:29-31) UPhawuli wayengatsho ukuthi abatshadileyo bangabi lendaba labanye babo. Kodwa wayebakhuthaza ukuthi bafake uMbuso kuqala njengoba isihuba sakutsha.—Mat. 6:33.

18. Kungenzakala njani ukuthi imitshado yamaKhristu iphumelele?

¹⁸ Lanxa siphila ezikhathini ezinzima futhi imitshado eminengi ichitheka kungenzakala ukuthi eyethu imitshado iphumelele. AmaKhristu atshadileyo angenelisa sibili ukungehlukanisi “lokho uNkulunkulu asekuhlanganisile” nxa angahlala eseduze labantu bakaJehova, esebenzisa izimiso eziseMibhalweni njalo evumela ukuthi umoya wakhe ongcwele uwaqondise.—Mak. 10:9.