• “Kwakungathi umkami ufebe kanengi.”

• “Ngayangeka ngazibona ngingelancedo futhi ngingasimfazi kuzwa.”

• “Ngafela ngaphakathi ngaswela lokuthi ngikhulume lobani.”

• “Ngezwa angathi loJehova kaselandaba lami.”

Amazwi la atshengisa indlela umfazi azizwa ngayo nxa umkakhe engabukela iphonografi. Nxa kuyikuthi umkakhe ubeyibukela okwezinyanga ezinengi kumbe iminyaka eminengi yena engakwazi, angezwa angani ngeke aphinde amthembe. Enye inkosikazi yathi: “Ngangizibuza ukuthi ngimazi kuhle yini umkami? Pho kuyini okunye angifihlela khona?”

Isihloko lesi sibhalelwe amakhosikazi alabomkabo abalomkhuba wokubukela iphonografi. a Azathola amavesi aseBhayibhilini azawaduduza, awaqinisekise ukuthi uJehova uyawasekela aphinde awancedise ukuthi angakhulelwa yikukhathazeka lokuthi ahlale eseduze laye. b

Lanxa ungeke ulandelele konke okwenziwa ngumkakho, kukhona ongakwenza ukuze ungakhathazeki kakhulu futhi uhlaliseke. Nanku okunye ongakwenza:

Ungazisoli. Kulula ukuthi inkosikazi ibone angathi yiyo ebangele ukuthi umkayo abukele iphonografi. U-Alice c wayebona angani kulokunye yena ayengelakho okwakulabanye abafazi. Wayezibuza athi: ‘Yindaba umkami ekhetha ukubuka abanye abafazi kulokuthi abuke mina?’ Inkosikazi ingazisola ngendlela eyenza ngayo nxa ingathola ukuthi umkayo ubukela iphonografi. Ingacabanga ukuthi mhlawumbe yenza izinto zibe zimbi kakhulu. UDanielle uthi: “Ngangibona angani ngizichithela umuzi ngoba ngangizonda kakhulu ngenxa yokuthi umkami wayebukela iphonografi.”

Nxa lawe usizwa njalo qiniseka ukuthi uJehova kakubekicala ngalokho okwenziwa ngumkakho. UJakhobe 1:14 uthi: “Lowo lalowo ulingwa ngokudonswa langokuhugwa yisifiso sakhe.” (Rom. 14:12; Flp. 2:12) UJehova uyakuqakathekisa ngenxa yokuthi uqotho kuye. Kakusoli ngitsho.—2 Imilan. 16:9.

 Okunye okungakunceda yikuzwisisa ukuthi okwenza umkakho abukele iphonografi ayisikho ukuthi kulento esilelayo kuwe. Izingcitshi ezibona ngohlupho lolu zithi umuntu obukela iphonografi uba lezifiso zemacansini okungelamuntu wesifazana ongenelisa ukuzigcwalisa.

Zama ukuthi ungakhathazeki kakhulu. UCatherine uthi ukuhlala ecabanga ngomkhuba womkakhe wokubukela iphonografi kwasekumenza ahlale ekhathazekile. Omunye udade okuthiwa nguFrances laye uthi: “Ngiyakhathazeka kakhulu nxa ngingakwazi ukuthi umkami ungaphi. Ngihle ngitshone ngidanile ilanga lonke.” Amanye amakhosikazi athi ayayangeka nxa elabanye abazalwane abakwaziyo ngohlupho lwabomkabo. Abanye bathi bezwa angani basenkangala engelabani ngoba babona angani akulamuntu ongazwisisa ubuhlungu ababuzwayo.

Kuyimvelo ukuzizwa njalo kodwa ukucabangisisa kakhulu ngendlela ozizwa ngayo kungenza ukhathazeke kakhulu. Zama ukucabangisisa ngendlela ongaqinisa ngayo ubungane bakho loJehova. Ukwenza njalo kuzakunceda ukuthi ube lamandla futhi ubekezele.—Hubo. 62:2; Efe. 6:10.

Okunye okungakunceda yikubala lokucabangisisa ngabanye abesifazana okukhulunywa ngabo eBhayibhilini ababekhathazekile futhi abaduduzwa yikuthandaza kuJehova. Izikhathi ezinengi uJehova wayengaziqedi inhlupho zabo kodwa wayebenza bahlaliseke. Ngokwesibonelo, iBhayibhili lisitshela ukuthi inhliziyo kaHana “yayibuhlungu kakhulu” ngenxa yobunzima ayephakathi kwabo. Kodwa wathi ‘esekhuleke okwesikhathi eside phambi kukaJehova’ wahlaliseka lanxa wayengakwazi ukuthi ubunzima ayephakathi kwabo babuzaphela njani.—1 Sam. 1:10, 12, 18; 2 Khor. 1:3, 4.

Cela ukuthi abadala bebandla bakuncedise. Bangaba ‘njengendawo yokucatshela umoya, lanjengesiphephelo sokucatshela izulu elina ngamandla.’ (Isaya. 32:2) Bangakutshela lodade ongakududuza ongaya kuye umtshele konke okukukhathazayo.—Zaga. 17:17.

Ungenelisa yini ukuncedisa umkakho ukuthi atshiye umkhuba wokubukela iphonografi? Ye ungenelisa. Nxa kulohlupho okumele lulungiswe kumbe kulesitha esilamandla esihlaselayo, iBhayibhili lithi “ababili bangcono kuloyedwa.” (Umtshu. 4:9-12) Abachwayisisayo bathi izikhathi ezinengi nxa indoda lomkayo besebenza ndawonye ukuze bancedisane, kuba lula ukuthi indoda itshiye umkhuba  wokubukela iphonografi lokuthi umkayo aphinde ayithembe futhi.

Kodwa ukuphumelela komkakho kuzakuya ngokuthi yena uzimisele yini ukutshiya umkhuba wakhe wokubukela iphonografi. Usethandazile yini kuJehova emncenga ukuthi amnike amandla futhi usecelile yini ukuncediswa ngabadala? (2 Khor. 4:7; Jak. 5:14, 15) Kukhona yini asekwenzile ukuze abalekele isilingo? Ngokwesibonelo, ikhona yini imingcele aseyifakile endleleni asebenzisa ngayo ezempucuko? Uyazibalekela yini izimo ezingenza acine elingeka ukuyibukela? (Zaga. 27:12) Uyavuma yini ukuthi umncedise njalo akulalutho akufihlela lona yini? Nxa ekwenza konke lokhu ungenelisa ukumncedisa.

Manje ungamncedisa njani? Nansi isibonelo: UFelicia watshada lo-Ethan owaqalisa umkhuba wokubukela iphonografi esasemncane. UFelicia wenza kube lula ukuthi umkakhe akhulume laye nxa eselingeka ukuthi abukele iphonografi. U-Ethan uthi: “Umkami angimfihleli lutho ngimtshela konke. Umkami ungincedisa kuhlekuhle ukuthi ngibalekele izinto ezingenza ukuthi ngicine ngilingeka futhi uhlala engibuza ukuthi ngiqhuba njani. Kanti njalo uyangincedisa lokuthi ngingatshoni ngiku-inthanethi.” Njengabo bonke abanye abesifazana uFelicia laye kumzwisa ubuhlungu ukuthi umkakhe kumele alwisane lomkhuba lo. Kodwa uthi: “Ukuzonda kanye lobuhlungu engibuzwayo akusoze kumncedise ukuthi alwisane lomkhuba lo. Nxa sesixoxile ngohlupho lwakhe laye uyabe esengangincedisa njengoba lami ngiyabe ngisizwa ubuhlungu.”

Ukuxoxisana njengoFelicia lo-Ethan kunganceda ukuthi indoda yenelise ukunqoba umkhuba wokubukela iphonografi, kuncede lomkayo ukuthi aphinde ayithembe. Nxa indoda itshela umkayo izinto elwisana lazo, imtshela lapho eyabe ikhona lalokho eyabe ikwenza, kuba lula ukuthi umkayo ayithembe njengoba iyabe ingamfihleli lutho.

Ubona angani lawe ungamncedisa yini umkakho? Nxa kunjalo lingabala isihloko lesi njalo lixoxe ngaso lindawonye. Wena inhloso yakho ngeyokuthi umncedise kukho konke azazama ukukwenza ukuthi alwisane lomkhuba lo lokuthi umnike ithuba lokuthi enze izinto ezizakwenza uphinde umthembe. Yena inhloso yakhe kumele ibe ngeyokutshiya umkhuba wokubukela iphonografi lokuthi enze izinto ezizakwenza ukuthi wena uphinde umthembe. Akumelanga azonde nxa umtshela ukuthi ufisa lixoxe ngohlupho lwakhe kodwa kumele azame ukuzwisisa ukuthi wena uzwa njani ngalokho akwenzayo. Lobabili kuzamele lidingisise ukuthi kuyini okwenza umuntu afise ukubukela iphonografi lokuthi lingenzani ukuze uhlupho lolu lilunqobe. d

 Nxa usesaba ukuthi wena lomkakho lizathi lixoxa licine selixabana, lingacela umdala webandla elimjayeleyo lobabili ukuthi abe khona ngesikhathi lixoxa kuze kufike isikhathi lapho elizabe selisenelisa ukuxoxa khona lingaxabani. Khumbula ukuthi lanxa umkakho esewutshiyile umkhuba wokubukela iphonografi kungathatha isikhathi ukuthi uphinde umthembe. Kodwa ungakhalali. Zama ukudinga izinto ezitshengisa ukuthi umkakho uyatshintsha lanxa zingabe zizincane. Ungalahli ithemba lokuthi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi lizahlalisana kuhle nxa lobabili libekezela.—Umtshu. 7:8; 1 Khor. 13:4.

Nxa umkakho angaphinda abukele iphonografi sekulesikhathi eside eyiyekelile, kutsho ukuthi kaphenduki yini lokuthi kasoze wafa wawunqoba umkhuba lo? Hatshi akunjalo. Phela nxa kuyikuthi wayelomkhuba wokuhlala eyibukela kungadinga ukuthi alwisane layo okwempilo yakhe yonke. Kungenzakala ukuthi aqabuke eseyibukelile iphonografi ngemva kweminyaka eminengi watshiyana layo. Okuzamnceda ukuthi angaweli esilingweni sokuphinda ayibukele yikuthi abophe ziqine njalo angayisusi imingcele ayabe ezifakele yona lanxa sekukhanya angathi usewunqobile umkhuba lo. (Zaga. 28:14; Mat. 5:29; 1 Khor. 10:12) Kuzamele aqhubeke elwisa ukutshintsha ‘indlela acabanga ngayo,’ afunde ‘ukuzonda okubi’ okugoqela iphonografi leminye imikhuba engcolileyo njengebhonyaponya. (Efe. 4:23; Hubo. 97:10; Rom. 12:9) Umkakho uyafisa yini ukukwenza konke lokhu. Nxa efisa kutsho ukuthi angacina esewunqobile umkhuba lo. e

Nxa kuyikuthi umkakho kazihluphi ngokulwisana lomkhuba wakhe kuyazwisiseka ukuthi uzaba lezikhathi zokudana lezokuzonda futhi uyabe uzizwa ulahliwe. Manje ungenzani? Tshiyela indaba le kuJehova, lokhu kuzakunceda ukuthi uhlaliseke. (1 Phet. 5:7) Qhubeka uqinisa ubungane bakho loJehova ngokutaditsha lokukhuleka kanye lokucabangisisa. Nxa ungenza njalo laye kasoze ayekele ukusondela kuwe. U-Isaya 57:15 uthi uNkulunkulu uhlala “labadabukileyo” ukuze abasize baphinde bathokoze. Yenza konke okusemandleni akho ukuthi uqhubeke ukhonza uJehova uthembekile. Cela ukuthi abadala bakuncedise. Kanti njalo qhubeka uthemba ukuthi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi umkakho angazimisela ukutshintsha.—Rom. 2:4; 2 Phet. 3:9.