1-2. Omunye umzalwane wafundani ngokunika abanye iseluleko?

 EMINYAKENI eminengi eyadlulayo abadala ababili bavakatshela udade okwasekulesikhathi elova emihlanganweni yebandla. Omunye wabo wambalela amavesi akhuluma ngokuqakatheka kokungena imihlangano. Wayecabanga ukuthi umkhuthazile sibili udade lo kodwa bathi sebesuka udade wathi, “Lina yikuthi alikwazi lutho ngesimo engiphakathi kwaso.” Abazalwane babenike udade lo iseluleko bengazange babuze ukuthi kuyini okwakubangela ukuthi alove emihlanganweni yebandla, yikho iseluleko lesi asisamncedanga.

² Ekhumbula lokho okwenzakalayo, umdala owambalela amavesi uthi: “Ngalesosikhathi ngangicabanga ukuthi udade kasihloniphanga. Kodwa ngathi sengicabangisisa ngakho ngananzelela ukuthi ngangimbalele amavesi ayiwo sibili kodwa ngangingambuzanga imibuzo enjengokuthi ‘Izinto zikuhambela njani?’ ‘Ngingakuncedisa njani?’” Umdala lo wafunda isifundo esiqakathekileyo kulokhu. Khathesi ungumelusi olozwelo njalo onceda abanye.

3. Ngobani abanganika iseluleko?

 ³ Abadala bangabelusi futhi balomsebenzi wokunika abanye iseluleko nxa kudingeka. Kodwa ngezinye izikhathi kungadingeka ukuthi labanye ebandleni banike abanye iseluleko. Ngokwesibonelo, umfowethu loba udadewethu anganika umngane wakhe iseluleko esivela eBhayibhilini. (Hubo. 141:5; Zaga. 25:12) Udade osekhulile ‘angacebisa abesifazana abasesebatsha’ endabeni ezinjengalezo okukhulunywa ngazo kuThithusi 2:3-5. Kanti njalo izikhathi ezinengi abazali bayabeluleka futhi babaqondise  abantwababo. Yikho lanxa isihloko lesi sibhalelwe ikakhulu abadala bebandla, sonke singancedakala ngokuhlola izindlela esinganika ngazo iseluleko esincedayo lesikhuthazayo ‘lesiletha intokozo enhliziyweni.’—Zaga. 27:9.

4. Sizaxoxa ngani esihlokweni lesi?

⁴ Esihlokweni lesi sizaphendula imibuzo emine emayelana lokunika abanye iseluleko. Owokuqala, kuyini okumele kusenze sinike abanye iseluleko? Owesibili, siyadingeka yini? Owesithathu, ngubani okumele anike iseluleko? Owesine, ungenzani ukuze unike abanye iseluleko esincedayo?

5. Ukuba lesizatho esiqondileyo sokunika iseluleko kuzamnceda njani umdala ukuthi asinike ngendlela enhle? (U-1 Khorinte 13:4, 7)

⁵ Abadala bayabathanda abafowabo labodadewabo. Ngezinye izikhathi batshengisa ukuthi bayabathanda ngokweluleka lowo osephambuka. (Gal. 6:1) Kodwa umdala engakakhulumi lalowomuntu kuhle ukuthi acabangisise ngalokho uPhawuli akutshoyo mayelana lothando. Wathi: ‘Uthando luyabekezela njalo lulomusa. Lubekezelela zonke izinto, lukholwa zonke izinto, luthemba zonke izinto, luqinisela ezintweni zonke.’ (Bala u-1 Khorinte 13:4, 7.) Ukucabangisisa ngamavesi la kuzanceda umdala ukuthi ahlolisise izizatho ezenza afune ukunika iseluleko lokuthi asinike ngendlela elothando. Kubalula ukuthi lowo ophiwa iseluleko asamukele nxa enanzelela ukuthi umdala ulendaba laye.—Rom. 12:10.

6. Kungani umphostoli uPhawuli eyisibonelo esihle?

⁶ Umphostoli uPhawuli uyisibonelo esihle kubadala. Ngokwesibonelo, kazange ayekele ukunika abazalwane baseThesalonika iseluleko ngesikhathi besidinga. Kodwa encwadini ababhalela zona waqala wabancoma ngomsebenzi abawenza ngenxa yokholo lothando lwabo langokuqinisela kwabo. Watshengisa ukuthi uyazwisisa izimo ababekuzo. Watsho ukuthi babethwele nzima lokuthi babeqinisela lanxa babehlukuluzwa. (1 Thes. 1:3; 2 Thes. 1:4) Waphinda wabatshela ukuthi babeyisibonelo esihle kwamanye amaKhristu. (1 Thes. 1:8, 9) Akuthandabuzwa ukuthi bathokoza sibili besizwa uPhawuli ebancoma ngale indlela. Kwakuzicacela ukuthi uPhawuli uyabathanda okwamagama. Lokhu yikho okwamenza wenelisa ukubanika iseluleko esincedayo kuzo zombili incwadi ababhalela zona.—1 Thes. 4:1, 3-5, 11; 2 Thes. 3:11, 12.

7. Kuyini okungenza umuntu angasamukeli iseluleko?

⁷ Kungenzakalani nxa singanika omunye iseluleko ngendlela engaqondanga? Omunye umzalwane oselesikhathi eside engumdala wathi, “Okwenza abanye bangasamukeli iseluleko yikuthi siyabe singaphiwanga ngendlela elothando hatshi ukuthi kulolutho olubi ngaso.” Sifundani kulokhu? Kulula ukuthi umuntu amukele iseluleko nxa lowo omnike sona ekwenze ngendlela elothando hatshi ecaphukile.

8. Kuyini okumele umdala azibuze khona engakeluleki umuntu othile?

⁸ Abadala akumelanga bagijimele ukunika abanye iseluleko. Nanku umdala okumele azibuze khona engakaniki omunye iseluleko: ‘Vele kuyadingeka yini ukuthi ngimeluleke? Ngileqiniso lokuthi akwenzayo akuqondanga? Wephule umthetho  oseBhayibhilini yini kumbe yikutshiyana kwendlela esibona ngayo izinto?’ Abadala akumelanga ‘bawalazele ukukhuluma.’ (Zaga. 29:20) Nxa umdala engelaqiniso lokuthi kumele eluleke umuntu othile angaxoxa lomunye umdala ukuze babone ukuthi kuyadingeka yini ukuthi umuntu lo elulekwe.—2 Tim. 3:16, 17.

9. Sifundani kuPhawuli endabeni yokunika abanye iseluleko mayelana lokugqoka lokuzilungisa? (U-1 Thimothi 2:9, 10)

⁹ Cabanga ngesibonelo esilandelayo. Ake sithi umdala ukhathazekile ngendlela umfowabo loba udadewabo agqoka kumbe azilungisa ngayo. Angazibuza, ‘Sikhona yini isizatho esisekelwe eBhayibhilini esokuthi ngimnike iseluleko?’ Uyakwazi ukuthi akumelanga amtshele umbono wakhe, yikho ubuza omunye umdala kumbe ummemezeli oqinileyo ekukhonzeni ukuthi uyibona njani indaba. Bangahlola ndawonye iseluleko sikaPhawuli esimayelana lokugqoka lokuzilungisa. (Bala u-1 Thimothi 2:9, 10.) UPhawuli wakhuluma ngezimiso ezithile, wathi amaKhristu kumele agqoke izigqoko ezilesithunzi, ezingadlulisi amalawulo futhi ezitshengisa ukuthi azisebenzisa kuhle izingqondo zawo. Kazange atsho ukuthi yiziphi izigqoko okumele zigqokwe lokungamelanga zigqokwe. Wayekwazi ukuthi abafowabo labodadewabo bangazikhethela ukugqoka loba yini abayifunayo nxa nje ingaphikisani lalokho okutshiwo liBhayibhili. Yikho nxa abadala becabanga ukuthi kuyadingeka ukuthi beluleke umuntu othile, kumele baqale bahlole ukuthi lokho umuntu lo akhetha ukukugqoka kwedlulisa amalawulo yini lokuthi kutshengisa ukuthi uyisebenzisa kuhle yini ingqondo yakhe.

10. Kuyini okungamelanga sikukhohlwe?

¹⁰ Akumelanga sikhohlwe ukuthi amaKhristu amabili aqinileyo ekukhonzeni angakhetha izinto ezitshiyeneyo kodwa zombili zisamukeleka. Akufanelanga sibabambe ngamandla abafowethu labodadewethu ukuthi benze lokho thina esicabanga ukuthi kuqondile.—Rom. 14:10.

11-12. Kuyini umdala okumele azibuze khona nxa othile kumele anikwe iseluleko njalo kungani?

¹¹ Nxa kusegcekeni ukuthi othile kumele aphiwe iseluleko kumele sizibuze ukuthi ngubani okumele amnike. Kungaba kuhle ukuthi umdala aqale akhulume lenhloko yemuli engakeluleki udade otshadileyo kumbe umntwana ngoba inhloko leyo ingabe ibona kungcono ukuthi izikhulumele labo. * Ngezinye izikhathi  inhloko yemuli ingacela ukuthi ibekhona nxa umdala eseluleka umkayo kumbe umntanayo. Kanti njalo njengoba sibonile  kundima 3, kwezinye izikhathi kungaba ngcono ukuthi udade osekhulile anike udade osesemutsha iseluleko.

¹² Kulokunye umdala okumele acabange ngakho. Angazibuza ukuthi nguye yini onganika iseluleko kumbe kungaba ngcono ukuthi sinikwe ngomunye umuntu. Ngokwesibonelo, kungaba lula ukuthi umuntu ozikhangelela phansi alalele iseluleko esivela kumdala owake waba lohlupho olufananayo. Umdala lo angamzwisisa ngcono njalo akhulume amazwi okungaba lula ukuthi awamukele. Lanxa kunjalo, bonke abadala balomlandu wokukhuthaza lowokuncedisa abafowabo labodadewabo ukuthi balungisise lapho okudinga ukuthi balungisise khona. Yikho lanxa umdala engakaze abe sesimeni salowo okumele anikwe iseluleko, okuqakathekileyo yikuthi umuntu lo asiphiwe iseluleko.

13-14. Kungani kuqakathekile ukuthi umdala alalele?

¹³ Lalela. Nxa umdala elungiselela ukuyanika iseluleko kumele azibuze imibuzo elandelayo: ‘Kuyini engikwaziyo ngomfowethu? Kwenzakalani empilweni yakhe khathesi? Engabe elohlupho engingazi ngalo yini? Kuyini akudinga kakhulu khathesi?’

¹⁴ Amazwi akuJakhobe 1:19 ayasebenza kulabo abanika abanye iseluleko. UJakhobe wabhala wathi: “Wonke umuntu kumele aphangise ukulalela, aphuze ukukhuluma, aphuze lokuzonda.” Umdala angazitshela ukuthi wazi konke okwenzakalayo, kodwa wazi konke yini sibili? IZaga 18:13 zithi: “Lowo ophendulayo engaqali alalele—lobo yibuwula bakhe lehlazo lakhe.” Kuhle ukuthi umdala abuze lowo afuna ukumnika iseluleko ukuthi izinto zihamba njani empilweni yakhe. Lokhu kutsho ukuthi kumele aqale alalele engakakhulumi. Usakhumbula yini isifundo esatholwa ngumdala esikhulume ngaye ekuqaliseni? Wananzelela ukuthi kulokuthi aqale ngokukhuluma lokho ayekulungiselele, kwakumele abuze udade imibuzo enjengale: “Izinto zikuhambela njani?” “Ngingakuncedisa njani?” Nxa abadala bangaqala bazwisise ukuthi kwenzakalani kubafowabo labodadewabo kuzabalula ukuthi babancedise njalo babakhuthaze.

15. Abadala bangakusebenzisa njani okutshiwo kuZaga 27:23?

¹⁵ Wazi kuhle umhlambi. Ekuqaliseni kwesihloko sibonile ukuthi ukunika umuntu iseluleko akutsho ukuphongumbalela amavesi kumbe ukumtshela angakwenza. Abafowethu labodadewethu kumele babone ukuthi silendaba labo, ukuthi  siyabazwisisa lokuthi sifuna ukubanceda. IZaga 27:23 zithi: “Woba leqiniso ukuthi uhlala usazi kuhle isimo [“sezimvu,” NWT] zakho, nanzelela imihlambi yakho.” Abadala kumele benze konke okusemandleni abo ukuthi babe ngabangane babafowabo labodadewabo.

16. Kuyini okuzanceda abadala ukuthi banike abanye iseluleko esizabanceda?

¹⁶ Abadala abafuni ukuthi abafowabo labodadewabo bacabange ukuthi bakhuluma labo kuphela nxa befuna ukubanika iseluleko. Yikho kumele bahlale bexoxa labo njalo betshengisa ukuthi balendaba labo nxa besebunzimeni. Omunye umzalwane oselesikhathi eside engumdala uthi, “Nxa ungenza njalo uzakuba ngumngane wabo futhi kuzakubalula ukubanika iseluleko nxa sekudingeka.” Kanti njalo kuzakubalula ukuthi lowo ophiwa iseluleko asamukele.

17. Kunini lapho okudingeka khona kakhulu ukuthi umdala abekezele njalo abe lomusa?

¹⁷ Bekezela njalo ube lomusa. Ukubekezela lomusa kuyadingeka kakhulu nxa ophiwa iseluleko engasamukeli ekuqaliseni. Umdala akumelanga acaphuke nxa lowo amnika iseluleko engasamukeli kumbe engasisebenzisi masinyane. IBhayibhili lathi ngoJesu: ‘Akulamhlanga owephukileyo azawuhlifiza njalo akulantambo ethunqayo azayicitsha.’ (Mat. 12:20) Yikho umdala angakhuleka eyedwa ecela ukuthi uJehova ancedise lowo ophiwa iseluleko azwisise ukuthi kungani esiphiwa lokuthi asisebenzise. Umzalwane ophiwe iseluleko angadinga isikhathi sokucabangisisa ngaso. Nxa umdala ebekezela njalo elomusa kuba lula ukuthi lowo ophiwa iseluleko asamukele. Iseluleko kumele sihlale sisekelwe eLizwini likaNkulunkulu.

18. (a) Kuyini okumele sihlale sikukhumbula ngokunika abanye iseluleko? (b) Ngokwalokho okusebhokisini, abazali abasemfanekisweni bangabe bexoxa ngani?

¹⁸ Funda emaphutheni akho. Asisoze senelise ukusebenzisa esikufunde esihlokweni  lesi ngendlela epheleleyo ngoba silesono. (Jak. 3:2) Sizawenza amaphutha kodwa kumele sizame ukufunda kuwo. Nxa abafowethu labodadewethu bengananzelela ukuthi siyabathanda, kuzabalula ukuthi basixolele nxa singabakhuba ngendlela esibanike ngayo iseluleko.—Khangela lebhokisi elithi “ Okumele Abazali Bacabangisise Ngakho.”

19. Singenzani ukuze silethe intokozo enhliziyweni zabafowethu labodadewethu?

¹⁹ Sesibonile ukuthi akulula ukunika abanye iseluleko esizabanceda. Silesono futhi esibanika iseluleko labo balesono. Ungakukhohlwa esikufunde esihlokweni lesi. Woba leqiniso lokuthi ulesizatho esihle sokunika omunye iseluleko. Kanti njalo woba leqiniso lokuthi siyadingeka sibili lokuthi nguwe okumele umnike sona. Ungakamniki iseluleko, qala umbuze imibuzo njalo ulalelisise ukuze uzwisise ukuthi uhlutshwa kuyini. Zama ukubona izinto ngendlela yena azibona ngayo. Woba lomusa futhi ube ngumngane wabafowenu labodadewenu. Inhloso yethu ngeyokuthi iseluleko sethu simncede lowo esimnikayo njalo ‘silethe intokozo enhliziyweni’ yakhe.—Zaga. 27:9.