Abantu abanengi abathandanayo baqala bahlale bonke bengakatshadi. Abanye benza njalo ukuze babone ukuthi bayafanelana yini, ikanti abanye bathi nxa bengahlala ndawonye bengakatshadi kuzaba lula ukuthi bathokoze nxa sebetshadile. Kodwa kuyikuhlakanipha yini ukuqala lihlale ndawonye lingakatshadi?

Okusesihlokweni lesi

•  IBhayibhili lithini?

•  Ukuqala lihlale ndawonye kuzalinceda yini ukuthi lilungele ukutshada?

•  Ukuhlala ndawonye lingakatshadi kuzalinceda yini ukuthi longe imali?

•  Ukuqala uhlale ndawonye lomuntu lingakatshadi kungakunceda yini ukuthi ungacini utshada lomuntu ongayisuye?

•  Okungcono yikuphi?

•   IBhayibhili lithi ukuya emacansini ngokwabantu abatshadileyo kuphela. Lisikhuthaza ukuthi ‘sixwaye ubufebe.’ (1 KwabaseThesalonika 4:3; 1 KwabaseKhorinte 6:18) Lokhu kugoqela indoda lomfazi abahlala ndawonye bengatshadanga lanxa behlose ukutshada ngokuya kwesikhathi. a Ukulandela okutshiwo liBhayibhili kuyabanceda abathandanayo ukuthi bangabi labantwana bengakatshadi kumbe babe lezinye nje inhlupho ezingabangelwa yikuhlala ndawonye bengakatshadi.

•   UNkulunkulu nguye owahlanganisa indoda lomfazi bokuqala. Wabatshela wathi: “Indoda izatshiya uyise lonina inamathele kumkayo futhi bazakuba nyamanye.” (UGenesisi 2:24) Ukutshada kwenza abathandanayo bazimisele ukuhlala bonke loba sekutheni futhi kwenza imuli yabo ibe lothando, kungabi khona owesaba ukuthi bangehlukana.

 Abanye bakubona kuqondile lokhu. Bathi nxa abathandanayo bangahlala ndawonye kuba lula ukuthi babonane ubuntu babo njalo bazane ngcono ngesikhathi bencedisana imisebenzi yangekhaya. Kodwa okuyikho sibili okwenza abatshadileyo bathokoze yikuzimisela ukuthi bahlale ndawonye loba sekutheni.

 Kuyini okunganceda abathandanayo ukuthi bahlale bonke kumnyama kubomvu? Ukuqala bahlale bonke bengakatshadi ayisikho okungabanceda ukuthi bathokoze ngoba nxa kungavela uhlupho kuba lula ukuthi baphongutshiyana. Kodwa nxa bangatshada bayabe bezimisele ukubambisana ukuze balwisane laloba yiluphi uhlupho olungavela.

 Nanku umcijo: Ukuqala bahlale ndawonye bengatshadanga akwenzi abathandanayo bacine betshada kodwa kubangela ukuthi behlukane.

 Okutshiwo liBhayibhili: “Loba yini umuntu ayihlanyelayo uzavuna yona.”—KwabaseGalathiya 6:7.

 Abanye bathi kuyanceda lokhu. Okunye ukuhlolisisa okwenziwa yinhlanganiso okuthiwa yi-Pew Research Center ese-United States kutshengisa ukuthi abantu abangaba ngu-4 kwabangu-10 ababuzwayo bakhetha ukuqala behlale lomuntu abathandana laye bengakatshadi ngoba babesithi kuzabanceda bonge imali. Kodwa bathi bebuzwa ngemva kwesikhathi babelokhu bekhala ngohlupho lwemali besithi yilo olubabamba ukuthi bangatshadi.

 Ukuhlala ndawonye abantu bengakatshadi kungabangela ezinye inhlupho ikakhulu kwabesifazana. Ngokwesibonelo, nxa bengatshiyana umama nguye osala elomthwalo omkhulu wokugcina abantwana.

 Nanku umcijo: Inhlupho ezibakhona nxa abantu bangaqala bahlale ndawonye bengakatshadi ziba zinengi kakhulu ukwedlula lokho abakhangelele ukuthi bazakukholisa.

 Okutshiwo liBhayibhili: “Mina Jehova nginguNkulunkulu wakho, lowo okufundisayo ukuze uncedakale.”—U-Isaya 48:17.

 Abanye bathi kuyanceda sibili. Kodwa ibhuku elithi Fighting for Your Marriage lona lithi, “Nxa abantu bangaqala bahlale ndawonye bengakatshadi kubanzima ukuthi behlukane” lanxa bengathola ukuthi kulezinto abangahambelani kuzo. Yindaba kunjalo? Kungenxa yokuthi kuyabe sekulezinto abazithenge bendawonye njengezifuyo, indlu kumbe umama uyabe esesuke wazithwala. Lokhu kwenza ukuthi baqhubeke behlala ndawonye lanxa bengabe bebona ukuthi abahambelani. b Ibhuku leli liqhubeka lisithi “abanye abantu akade bengakhetha ukwehlukana bacina betshada ngenxa nje yokuthi bayabe sebejayele ukuhlala ndawonye.”

 Nanku umcijo: Ukuhlala ndawonye lingakatshadi akusoze kukuncede ukuthi ubone ukuthi lingatshada yini loba hatshi, kodwa kungenza kube nzima kakhulu ukuthi utshiyane lalowomuntu lanxa kuzikhanyela ukuthi alihambelani.

 Okutshiwo liBhayibhili: “Umuntu ohlakaniphileyo uyayibona ingozi acatshe, kodwa ongelalwazi uqhubeka eqonda kuyo abesethwala nzima.”—IZaga 22:3.

 Ungenelisa ukubalekela inhlupho ezibangelwa yikuhlala lomuntu ungakatshadi laye futhi ube lomtshado ophumelelayo nxa ungasebenzisa okutshiwo liBhayibhili. Zinike isikhathi esaneleyo sokumazi ngcono umuntu ozatshada laye lingakahlali ndawonye. Okumele ukukhangele kakhulu yikuthi ulobuntu obunjani, ukuthi ukholwani lokuthi uqakathekisani empilweni hatshi ukuthatheka ngokuthi ubukeka njani.

 IBhayibhili lilamacebo angakunceda ukuthi ube lomtshado ophumelelayo. c Ngokwesibonelo liyakutshela ukuthi ungenzani ukuze . . .

•   uhlale uthembekile kulowo otshade laye

•   ube lobuntu obuzakunceda ukuthi uphilisane kuhle lomuntu ozatshada laye

•   ngesikhathi lithandana unanzelele izinto ezizalihlupha nxa lingatshada

 Ukuze uthole okunengi ngendaba lezi, khangela ingxenye ethi “Ezemuli” etholakala ku-jw.org.

 Okutshiwo liBhayibhili: “Yonke iMibhalo iphefumulelwe nguNkulunkulu futhi iyasiza ekufundiseni abantu.”—2 KuThimothi 3:16.