1. Nanyana umtjhado uthoma ngethabo nje, abatjhadilekwabo bangalindela ukuhlangabezana nani? (Qala isithombe esisekuthomeni.)

NGELANGA lomtjhado, isiphalaphala somakoti nasiyokuvela phambi komkhwenyanaso onejamo, ungalibona nawe ithabo elilapho! Ithando labantwaba likhule phakathi nesikhathi sokuthandana kwabo, kangangokuthi sebazimisele ukwenza isifungo sokuthembeka bobabili emtjhadwenabo. Iye khona kunezinto ezizokunande zitlhoga ukulungiswa lapho nalapho njengombana kuhlangene abantu ababili abangafaniko abazokwenza umndeni munye. Ngikho-ke iliZwi lakaZimu linesiluleko sokuhlakanipha kibo boke abafuna ukutjhada, ngombana uMsunguli womtjhado ufuna boke abatjhadileko bathabe kiyo yoke ipilo yomtjhado wabo. (IzA. 18:22) Iphinde ikubeke iBhayibheli nayithi abantu abangakapheleli nabatjhada, ‘bazokuqalana nemiraro eminengi epilweni.’ (1 Kor. 7:28) Njeke, imiraro enjalo ingaphungulwa njani? Begodu khuyini okungenza umtjhado wamaKrestu uphumelele?

2. Mihlobo bani yamathando okufuze abe khona phakathi kwamalunga womtjhado?

² IBhayibheli ithi ithando liqakatheke khulu. Ipatho ehle  (ngesiGirigi ebizwa, phi·liʹa) iqakathekile emtjhadweni. Bese kuza ithando labantu ababili eliletha ithabo elibizwa (nge-eʹros), kanye nethando lomndeni elibizwa (nge-stor·geʹ), eliqakathekileko lokha nasekungena nabantwana. Kodwana, kikho koke lokhu, ithando eliyihloko elenza umtjhado uphumelele ngileli elibizwa (nge-a·gaʹpe). Nakazakutlola ngomhlobo lo wethando, uPowula wathi: “Omunye nomunye wenu kumele athande umkakhe njengombana azithanda yena, nomfazi kumele ahloniphe indodakhe.”—Efe. 5:33.

3. Kufuze libe namandla kangangani ithando labatjhadileko?

³ UPowula wathi: “Madoda, thandani abafazi benu njengombana uKrestu athanda ibandla, wadela ukuphila kwakhe ngebanga lalo.” (Efe. 5:25) Njeke, boke labo abalingisa uJesu kufuze bathandane njengombana naye abathandile. (Funda uJwanisi 13:34, 35; 15:12, 13.) Ngikho-ke ithando lamaKrestu kufuze liqine ngezinga lokuthi omunye angaze afele omunye nakungavela ubujamo obunjalo. Phela leyo yinto yokugcina umuntu angafuna ukuyenza, khulukhulu lokha nakungavela ipikiswano enamandla. Kodwana, ithando le-a·gaʹpe “lembesa yoke into, likholwa yoke into, . . . begodu linyamezelela koke.” Kwamambala “ithando alihluleki.” (1 Kor. 13:7, 8) Ukukhumbula isifungo sabo sokuthandana nokuthembeka phakathi kwabo, kuzobasiza labo abahlonipha uZimu ukuthi babambisane emtjhadwenabo ngokusebenzisa iinkambisolawulo zakaJehova ekulungiseni imiraro engavela.

4, 5. (a) Ngiyiphi indima yendoda njengombana iyihloko yomndeni? (b) Umfazi kufuze azizwe njani ngobuhloko? (c) Omunye umma nobabakwakhe kwatlhogeka benze maphi amatjhuguluko?

⁴ Nakaqalisisa indima yelunga lomtjhado ngalinye, uPowula uthi: “Bafazi, thobelani amadoda wenu sengathi nithobela iKosi ngombana indoda iyihloko yomfazi, njengombana uKrestu ayihloko yebandla.” (Efe. 5:22, 23) Ihlelo leli alimehlisi isithunzi umfazi. Kunalokho, limsiza bona azalise indima ebeyihloswe nguZimu ngomfazi nakazakuthi: “Akusikuhle bona umuntu [u-Adamu] ahlale yedwa. Yeke ngizomenzela umsizi omfaneleko.” (Gen. 2:18) Nendoda-ke kufuze yenze njengoKrestu ‘oyihloko yebandla,’ imphathe ngethando umkayo. Nayenza njalo, umfazi uzozizwa aphephile, bekumthabise nokuhlonipha ubabakwakhe ngokumsekela nangokumlalela.

⁵ Malungana nokuthi kutlhogeka amatjhuguluko emtjhadweni, uCathy ^[1] uthi: “Nangisese ngedwa bengizijamela begodu ngizitlhogomela. Kodwana umtjhado waletha itjhuguluko elikhulu njengombana besekufuze ngithembele kubabakwami. Bekungasi lula ngaso soke isikhathi, kodwana sinaye sigcine sesitjhidelene khulu ngokwenza izinto ngendlela kaJehova.” Nobabakwakhe uFred, uthi: “Ukwenza iinqunto bekungasibulula. Umtjhado wangezelela omunye umuntu, kwaba budisi khulu. Kodwana ngabawa uJehova ngomthandazo bona angisize, ngamlalela nomkami nakabeka lobubodlhana, lokho kwenza izinto zaba bulula woke malanga. Sinomkami sisiqhema samambala!”

6. Ithando likubopha njani “koke ndawonye kuzwane” lokha nakuqubuka imiraro emtjhadweni?

⁶ Umtjhado ozinzileko wakhiwa babantu ababili abakhumbulako ukuthi omunye nomunye akakapheleli. Baragela phambili ‘nokubekezelelana, nokulibalelana.’ Bobabili abantwaba bayayenza imitjhapho, kodwana nakwenzeka lokho, kuvuleka ithuba lokufunda emitjhaphweni enjalo, ithuba lokulibalela, kunye nokuvumela ithando lidlale yalo indima ngokubopha  “koke ndawonye kuzwane.” (Kol. 3:13, 14) Ngaphezu kwalokho, “ithando liyabekezela” begodu “linesisa . . . alibibhi imilandu.” (1 Kor. 13:4, 5) Njeke, nakuqubuka irawurawu kufuze ilungiswe khonokho. Ngikho-ke amaKrestu atjhadileko kufuze alinge ukulungisa nanyana ngikuphi ukungezwani ngaphambi kokutjhinga kwelanga. (Efe. 4:26, 27) Umuntu vane athobekile begodu anesibindi nakakghona ukuthi, “ngiyacolisa ngokukuzwisa ubuhlungu,” begodu lokho kuthatha ibanga elide nakuzakulungiswa imiraro nokubuyisela ukuzwana kwabatjhadileko.

7, 8. (a) IBhayibheli inasiphi isiluleko ngezomseme emtjhadweni? (b) Kubayini abatjhadileko kufuze bacabangelane?

⁷ IBhayibheli inesiluleko esihle kwamambala esingasiza abatjhadileko banelisane. (Funda 1 Korinte 7:3-5.) Ukuthandana nokucabangelana kuqakathekile endleleni ngamunye azizwa ngayo. Nengabe umfazi akaphathwa kuhle, angekhe athabe. Ngikho-ke amadoda atjelwa bona aphilisane nabo “ngokubazwisisa.” (1 Pit. 3:7) Zomseme nazo akukafaneli zenziwe ngokuzikhuja namkha ngokukatelelwa, kodwana kufuze zenziwe ngethando elingokwemvelo. Endodeni imizwa ifika msinyana, emfazini kuthatha isikhatjhana, ngikho ngokomzwelo nobabili kufuze nibe semuzweni ofanako.

⁸ Nanyana iBhayibheli inganayo imithetho enqophileko engahlotjaniswa nezinga lethando okufuze nibe kilo nanizakuya emabhayini, iyatjho ukuthi izenzo zethando zona kufuze zibe khona. (Ngom. 1:2; 2:6) Nangambala, amaKrestu atjhadileko kufuze aphathane ngethando.

9. Kubayini kukumbi kangaka ukukhanukela umuntu ongakatjhadi naye?

⁹ Izinga enithanda ngalo uZimu nomakhelwana lizokuba siviko sananyana yini engaqabhela esibophweni senu somtjhado. Eminye imitjhado seyonakala ngebanga lokuthi elinye ilunga selaba likghoba leenthombe zomseme ezisilapheleko. Kungebangelo kufuze nilahle nanyana ngimiphi imikghwa enjengokuthanda amanyala wezomseme, namkha okhunye okuseqadi okungamotjha umtjhado. Kufuze nilahle ngitjho nokuganukejana ngethando nalabo eningakatjhadi nabo. Nasikhumbula ukuthi uZimu uyayibona imicabango nezenzo zethu, sizokukhuthazeka ekutheni sihlale simthabisa, sihlale simsulwa.—Funda uMatewu 5:27, 28; amaHebheru 4:13.

10, 11. (a) Kwande kangangani ukutlhalana? (b) Ithini iBhayibheli ngokuhlala ngokuhlukana? (c) Khuyini okungasiza otjhadileko angagijimeli isehlukaniso?

¹⁰ Imiraro nayisolo ibhebhedlha ukuya phambili, lokho kungabangela bona amalunga womtjhado ahlale ngokuhlukana, namkha atlhalane. Kwezinye iindawo imitjhado eminengi iphela ngokutlhalana. Lokho nokho akukandi kangako ebandleni lobuKrestu, kodwana imiraro eminengi yemitjhado eya ngokwanda ebantwini bakaZimu seyithoma ukuba yikinga.

¹¹ IBhayibheli inananzi iinqophiso: “Umfazi akangahlukani nendoda yakhe; kodwana nakube uyahlukana nayo, akahlale angakatjhadi njalo nakungasi njalo lo akabuyelane nendoda yakhe. Nendoda ayingatlhali umkayo.” (1 Kor. 7:10, 11) Ukuhlukana kwabantu abatjhadileko akusi yinto okufuze yeqiselwe amehlo. Nanyana ukuhlala ngokuhlukana kungabonakala kungcono lokha nakunemiraro, kodwana kuvame ukubanga eminye imiraro. UJesu wathi nabuyelela amezwi wokuthi indoda izokutjhiya uyise nonina inamathele kumkayo, wathi:  “Okuhlanganiswe nguZimu, akungabikhona umuntu okwahlukanisako.” (Mat. 19:3-6; Gen. 2:24) Nakwabatjhadileko lokhu kusatjho ukuthi nendoda ngokwayo namkha umfazi akukafaneli ‘ahlukanise okuhlanganiswe nguZimu.’ KuJehova, umtjhado sibopho sepilo yoke. (1 Kor. 7:39) Njeke, nasikhumbula bona soke siyoziphendulela kuZimu ngesikwenzako, lokho kufuze kwenze abatjhadileko bazikhandle ekuyilungiseni ngokurhabako imiraro abanayo, ingaze ibe mabhombo.

12. Khuyini okungabangela ilunga lomtjhado licabangele isehlukaniso?

¹² Amaphupho wezinto engekhe zenzeka akukafaneli abe yimbangela yemiraro yomtjhado. Nakwenzeka okuhlukileko kilokho ebekakulindele emtjhadweni, umuntu angazizwa angakaneliseki, lokho kumenze azizwe kudlalwe ngaye, bekumkwatise. Kungaqubuka imiraro yokuhluka kwendlela enikhuliswe ngayo, namkha kube nokunghanghisana ngeemali, iinhlobo, nangokukhulisa umntwana. Kodwana, kuhle ukuthi inengi lamaKrestu atjhadileko liyazithola iinsombululo zemiraro leyo ngombana livumela uZimu alinqophise.

13. Ngimaphi amabanga azwakalako wokuhlala ngokuhlukana?

¹³ Kuneenzathu ezizwakalako ezingenza abantu bahlale ngokuhlukana, njengokubhala ukondla ngabomu, ukubetjhwa, nalokha ubuhlobo bomuntu noZimu busengozini. Kusebujamwenobo kwaphela lapho isehlukaniso singeze sasolwa khona. AmaKrestu atjhadileko nakanemiraro kufuze ayokubawa isizo kubadala. Abazalwanaba banelemuko lokusiza amalunga womtjhado asebenzise iliZwi lakaZimu. Kanti-ke nasisararulula imiraro njalo, kufuze singakhohlwa nokuthandazela ummoya kaJehova bona usisize sisebenzise iinkambisolawulo zeBhayibheli, sizokwazi ukuthela iinthelo zommoya wakhe.—Gal. 5:22, 23. ^[2]

14. Ithini iBhayibheli ngamaKrestu atjhade nelunga elingasi yinceku kaJehova?

¹⁴ Ngezinye iinkhathi kungatholakala ukuthi umKrestu utjhade nomuntu ongasi yinceku kaJehova. Ebujamweni obunjalo, iBhayibheli inamabanga amahle wokuthi kuqakatheke kangangani bona bahlale ndawonye. (Funda 1 Korinte 7:12-14.) Kungakhathaliseki bona ilunga elingakholwa liyakulemuka lokho namkha awa, ‘licwengisiwe’ ngebanga lokutjhada nekholwa. Nanyana ngimuphi umntwana abazokuba naye uzabe acwengile, begodu abe nobujamo obuhle noZimu. UPowula uyabuza nokuthi: “Wazi ngani mfazi bona indoda yakho ingasindiswa ngawe na? Wazi ngani, wena ndoda bonyana umkakho angasindiswa ngawe na?” (1 Kor. 7:16) Pheze elinye nelinye ibandla laboFakazi bakaJehova linabantu abatjhadileko, lapho ilunga elimKrestu elidlale khona indima ‘yokusindisa’ ongasilikholwa.

15, 16. (a) IBhayibheli ibeluleka ngokuthini abafazi abamaKrestu abatjhade namadoda angamlotjhiko uZimu? (b) Kutjho ukuthini ngomKrestu “nakube ongakholwako uyatlhala”?

¹⁵ Umpostoli uPitrosi weluleka abafazi abamaKrestu bona bazithobe emadodeni wabo, “ukuze kuthi nanyana kukhona amanye angalaleli ilizwi, azuzeke ngaphandle kwekulumo, kodwana ngokuziphatha kwabafazi bawo.” Ngokuba nomoya ophasi, “okuyinto eligugu phambi kwakaZimu,” umfazi kunengi angakwenza ukuze azuze indodakwakhe ize ingene ekolweni yeqiniso, kunokuhlala ayitjhumayeza ngeenkolelo zobuKrestu.—1 Pit. 3:1-4.

¹⁶ Kuthiwani-ke ilunga elingakholwa nalikhetha ukukhamba? Lapho iBhayibheli ithi: “Nakube ongakholwako uyatlhala, akatlhale. Indoda namkha umfazi okholwako akakabotjhelelwa nakunjalo. UZimu usibizele ekuphileni ngokuthula.” (1 Kor. 7:15) NgokweBhayibheli, lokhu akutjho ukuthi umKrestu utjhaphulukile ukuthi  atjhade godu, kodwana akunalitho elimbi ngokulinga ukuvimba umlinganakhe bona ahlale naye. Ukuhlukana kungaletha ukuthula mbijana, begodu umKrestu angahlala ethembeni lokuthi umlinganakhe uzokubuya azimisele ukuthi babambisane ekuvikeleni umtjhadwabo, nokuthi ngelinye ilanga naye uzokuba likholwa.

17. Khuyini okufuze kuze qangi emaKrestwini atjhadileko?

¹⁷ Ngebanga lokuthi siphila ekuzikeni ‘kwemihla yokuphela,’ siqalene neenkhathi “ezibudisi kwamambala.” (2 Thim. 3:1-5) Kodwana ukukhuthalela ukulotjha uZimu kuzosiqinisa, sikwazi ukujamelana namathonya wephasi angakalungi. UPowula wathi: “Isikhathi sifitjhani. Ukusukela gadesi, labo abanabafazi kumele baphile inga abanabafazi, . . . abasebenzisa izinto zephasi babe njengabangakanamatheli kizo.” (1 Kor. 7:29-31) La uPowula bekangatjho ukuthi abatjhadileko akukafuzi bawutjheje umtjhado wabo. Kodwana bekatjho ukuthi ngebanga lokuncipha kwesikhathi, koke abakwenzako kufuze kubeke uZimu phambili.—Mat. 6:33.

18. Kubayini kukghonakala ngomKrestu ukuba nomtjhado othabisako nophumelelako?

¹⁸ Nanyana siphila eenkhathini ezibudisi kangaka, eminye imitjhado iphuka phambi kwamehlwethu, kusakghoneka ukwenza umtjhado uthabise bewuphumelele. Nangambala, amaKrestu atjhadileko azimisele ukuhlala nabantu bakaJehova, azosisebenzisa isiluleko seBhayibheli, amukele nesinqophiso sommoya ocwengileko kaJehova bona uvikele “okuhlanganiswe nguZimu.”—Mar. 10:9.