Iinlodlhelo Zethabo Lomndeni

Hlawulela Imikghwa Emihle Yokuziphatha Ebantwaneni Bakho

ULoida, * umma weMexico, uthi: “Amakhondomu ayaphakiswa esikolweni, ngalokho abatjha bacabanga bona ukuya emsemeni kulungile—solankana usebenzisa ikhondomu.”

UNobuko, umma weJapan, uthi: “Ngabuza indodanami bona ingenzani neyingaba yodwa nentombayo. Yaphendula ngokuthi: ‘Angazi.’”

UMNTWANAKHO nasatatayako, wenza indlwakho yaba yindawo ephephileko ebantwaneni? Mhlamunye gade ugubuzesa amaplaga wegezi, ufihla izinto ezibukhali, begodu wenza iintebhisi ziphephe—koke lokho ukwenzela ukuvikela umntwanakho.

Ngathana bekubulula njalo nokuvikela umntwanakho oseemnyakeni yobutjha! Nje sewutshwenywa zizinto ezikulu ukudlula zangesikhatheso, njengokuthi: ‘Kazi indodanami ibukela iinthombe zomseme ezisilapheleko?’ ‘Kungenzeka na bona indodakazi yami ithumela iinthombe zayo ezirhorhako ngokomseme ngomaliledinini?’ Nombuzo osatjwa khulu othi, ‘Umntwanami sele ahlanganyela amabhayi?’

Ukulinga Ukulawula Koke Okwenziwa Mntwanakho Akurhelebhi

Abanye ababelethi bagada abantwababo imini nobusuku ngokuqalisisa elinye nelinye igadango abalithathako. Nokho, ngokukhamba kwesikhathi, abanengi babo bafumana bona ukuba mbelethi onjalo kwenza umntwana abe sithakgha sokuluka amano wokufihla khona kanye ukuziphatha abalinga ukukukhandela.

Ngokukhanyako, ukulawula elinye nelinye igadango elithathwa mntwanakho akurhelebhi. Ngitjho noJehova uZimu akayisebenzisi indlela leyo ukwenza iimbunjwa zakhe zimlalele, nawe njengombelethi ungayisebenzisi. (Duteronomi 30:19) Ngalokho-ke ungabarhelebha njani abantwabakho abaseemnyakeni yobutjha bona benze iinqunto ezihlakaniphileko kezokuziphatha?—Iziyema 27:11.

Igadango elisisekelo kuhlala ucoca nabantwabakho nokuthoma basesebancani. * (Iziyema 22:6) Ngalokho, nebafika eemnyakeni yobutjha, ragela phambili ukhuluma nabo. Njengombelethi, kufuze  ube mthombo oyihloko wokwaziswa okuthembekileko emntwanenakho. U-Alicia, umntazana weBritain uthi, “Abantu abanengi bacabanga bona kungabhedere sikhulume nabangani bethu ngezomseme, kodwana lokho akusiliqiniso. Sikuthabela khulu ukwazisokhu nekuvela ebabelethini bethu. Siyakuthemba lokho abakutjhoko.”

Okwenza Kutlhogeke Imikghwa Emihle

Njengombana bakhula, abantwana kutlhogeka bazi okungeziweko ngomseme ngaphezu nje kokwazi bona abantwana bavelaphi. Godu ‘kufuze bajayele ukusebenzisa umkhumbulo wabo, bakwazi ukuhlukanisa okuhle nokumbi.’ (KumaHebheru 5:14) Ngokurhunyeziweko, batlhoga iinkolelo eziqinileko malungana nokuziphatha ngokomseme begodu baziphathe ngokuvumelana nazo. Ungayihlawulela njani imikghwa emihle emntwanenakho?

Thoma ngokutjheja iinkolelo zakho zokuziphatha. Isibonelo, ungakholelwa ngokuqinileko bona ubufebe—ukuya emsemeni kwabantu ababili abangakatjhadani—akukalungi. (1 KwebeTesalonika 4:3) Pheze nabantwabakho bayawazi umbonwakho ngendaba le; mhlamunye bangakwazi nokudzubhula iindima zeBhayibhili ezisekela iinkolelo zakho. Nebabuzwako, bangaphendula msinyana bona ukuya emsemeni ngaphambi komtjhado akukalungi.

Kodwana kutlhogeka okungeziweko. Incwadi ethi Sex Smart itjengisa bona abanye abatjha bathi bavumelana neenkolelo zababelethi babo ngomseme. Incwadi leyo ithi: “Bazizwa bangaqiniseki ngokuzakhela yabo iimbono. Nebazifumana basebujamweni obungakalindeleki bangazi bona yini ekufuze bayenze, bayarareka babe semrarweni omkhulu.” Ngikho kuqakathekile ukuba nemikghwa emihle yokuziphatha. Ungamrhelebha njani umntwanakho bona ayihlawulele?

Yenza izinto ozikholelwako zikhanye. Uyakholelwa bona ukuya emsemeni kufuze kwenziwe babantu abatjhadileko? Nengabe kunjalo tjela umntwanakho ngokukhanyako begodu kanengana ngalokho. Ngokwencwadi i-Beyond the Big Talk, irhubhululo litjengisa bona “emakhaya lapho ababelethi banikela abantwababo abasesebatjha umlayezo okhanyako wokobana bayakulahla ukuya emsemeni kwabatjha, abatjhabo kanengi abarhabi ukuya emsemeni.”

Liqiniso, njengombana kutjhiwo ngaphambilini, ukumane utjho iinkolelo zakho akuqinisekisi bona indodana namtjhana indodakazakho izokukhetha ukuphila ngazo. Nokho, ukubeka ngokukhanyako iinkolelo ongathanda bona umndenakho uzilandele kuzokubeka isisekelo abantwana abangakhela kiso. Ukuhlola kutjengisa bona abatjha abanengi emaswapheleni bamukela iinkolelo zababelethi babo ngitjho nanyana hlangana neemnyakabo yobutjha bebabonakala ngasuthi abaziberegisi.

LINGA NAKU: Beregisa isehlakalo osizwe eendabeni ukuthoma ingcoco bese uveza lokho okukholelwako. Isibonelo, nengabe kubikwe ubulelesi bezomseme, ungathi: “Ngithuswa yindlela abanye abantu bembaji abalinga ngayo ukuchaphaza abantu bengubo. Ucabanga bona bawufumana kuphi umbono onjalo?”

Fundisa loke iqiniso ngomseme. Iinyeleliso ziqakathekile. (1 KwebeKorinte 6:18; KaJakobosi 1:14, 15) Nokho, iBhayibhili ngokuyihloko iveza ukuya emsemeni njengesipho esivela kuZimu, ingasi njengesithiyo sakaSathana. (Iziyema 5:18, 19; IRhubo lamaRhubo 1:2) Ukutjela abantwabakho ngeengozi zokuya emsemeni kwaphela kungabatjhiya banombono ohlanakelweko, ongasi ngokomtlolo. Umfazi weFrance osesemutjha uCorrina, uthi, “Ababelethi bami bagandelela khulu ukuziphatha kumbi ngokomseme, begodu lokho kwangenza ngaba nombono omumbi ngokuya emsemeni.”

Qiniseka bona abantwabakho bafumana loke iqiniso ngokuya emsemeni. Umma weMexico uNadia, uthi, “Engilinga ukukudlulisela ebantwaneni bami ngaso soke isikhathi kukobana ukuya emsemeni kuhle, kungokwemvelo begodu uJehova uZimu wakupha abantu bona bakuthabele. Kodwana kunendawo yakho efaneleko, emtjhadweni. Kungasenza sithabe namtjhana sitlhage, kuye ngokobana sikuberegisa njani.”

LINGA NAKU: Ngesikhathi esilandelako newukhuluma nomntwanakho ngokuya emsemeni, phetha ingcocwakho ngokuhle. Ungasabi ukuveza umseme njengesipho esihle esivela kuZimu leso angasithabela esikhathini esizako  njengomuntu otjhadileko. Qinisekisa umntwanakho bona bekube sikhatheso angakwazi ukukakarela eenkambiswenilawulo zakaZimu.

Rhelebha abantwabakho bacabangele iimphumela. Bona bakghone ukwenza iinqunto ezihle kikho koke ukuphila, abatjha kufuze bazi bona bakhethani begodu bakwazi ukuhlukanisa okuhle nokumbi kikho koke abakukhethako. Ungacabangi bona ukwazi kwaphela bonyana yini elungileko nengakalungi kwanele. Omunye umfazi omKrestu we-Australia u-Emma uthi, “Ngingatjho bona ukwazi iinkambisolawulo zakaZimu kwaphela akutjho bona uvumelana nazo. Ukuzwisisa iinzuzo zeenkambisolawulwezi—neemphumela yokuzeqa—kuqakathekile.”

IBhayibhili ingarhelebha, ngombana eminengi yemilayo yayo igandelelwa mamezwi aveza iimphumela yokwenza okumbi. Isibonelo, Iziyema 5:8, 9 zikhuthaza isokana bona ‘lingasinikeli abanye isithunzi salo.’ Njengombana iindinyanezi zitjengisa, labo abaya emsemeni ngaphambi komtjhado balahla ubuntu, isithunzi nokuzihlonipha kwabo. Begodu lokhu kubenza bangasakarisi kangako kunanyana ngimuphi umlinganabo wakusasa oneemfanelwezi. Ukucabangela iingozi ezingokomzimba, ezingokwamazizo nezingokomoya zokungayinaki imithetho kaZimu kungaqinisa isiqunto somntwanakho sokuphila ngayo. *

LINGA NAKU: Beregisa iimfanekiso ukurhelebha umntwanakho bona abone ukuhlakanipha kokuberegisa iinkambisolawulo zakaZimu. Isibonelo, ungathi: “Umlilo wokupheka muhle; umlilo otjhisa ihlathi mumbi. Uyini umahluko hlangana neemlilo eembili le, begodu ipendulwakho iberega njani emkhawulweni uZimu awubekileko malungana nomseme?” Beregisa ukulandisa kweZiyema 5:3-14 ukurhelebha umntwanakho azi iimphumela ebuhlungu yobufebe.

UTakao, weJapan oneemnyaka eli-18 uthi, “Ngiyazi bona kufuze ngenze okulungileko, kodwana akusilula ukulwa neemfiso zenyama.” Abatjha abazizwa ngendlela leyo bangaduduzwa liqiniso lokobana abasibodwa. Ngitjho nompostoli uPowula—umKrestu oqinileko—wavuma: “Nengabe ngithanda ukwenza okulungileko, kodwana koke engikwenzako ngokumbi.”—KwebeRoma 7:21.

Abantu abatjha bazabe benza kuhle ukutjheja bona ipi enjalo ayisiyimbi ngaso soke isikhathi. Ingabenza bacabange bona bafuna ukuba babantu abanjani. Ingabarhelebha bazibuze umbuzo naku, ‘Ngifuna ukulawula kuhle ukuphila kwami begodu ngaziwe njengomuntu onobuntu nothembekileko namtjhana ngifuna ukwaziwa njengomuntu owenza yoke into abantu abayenzako—ongakghoni ukulawula iimfiso zakhe?’ Ukuberegisa kuhle iinkambisolawulo zokuziphatha kuzokurhelebha umntwanakho bona aphendule umbuzo lo ngokuhlakanipha.

[Imitlolo yaphasi]

ZIBUZE  . . .

▪ Ngazi njani bona umntwanami uyaziberegisa iinkambisolawulo zokuziphatha okuhle?

▪ Nengikhuluma nomntwanami ngomseme, ngiwuveza njesipho esivela kuZimu namtjhana njengesithiyo sakaSathana?

[Ibhoksi elisekhasini 21]

IBhayibhili Isaberega Nanje

“Isinqophiso seBhayibhili malungana nokuziphatha kuhle ngokomseme sisaberega nanamhlanje. Esikhathini lapho ukwanda kwesibalo sabatjha abavuna iimphumela ebuhlungu yokuya emsemeni bangakatjhadi, ukuba sidisi bangakatjhadi, ukufumana i-AIDS namanye amalwelwe athathelwana ngomseme, isiluleko soMtlolo sokulinda umtjhado ngaphambi kokuya emsemeni . . . sisaberega khulu begodu kuphela kwendlela evikelekileko.”—Parenting Teens With Love and Logic.