Mutu 24

Kodi Kugonana Tili Pachibwenzi Kungachititse Kuti Tizikondana Kwambiri?

Pangodutsa miyezi iwiri kuchokera pamene Heather anadziwana ndi Mike koma zimangokhala ngati anadziwana kalekale. Amatumizirana mameseji pafupipafupi, amacheza pa foni kwa nthawi yaitali moti eniakewo amangoona kuti zonse zili bwino. Koma tsiku lina usiku akucheza m’galimoto yomwe inangoima, Mike anayamba kusonyeza kuti akufuna kucheza kwawo kutafika pena.

Pa miyezi iwiri imene yapitayi, Mike ndi Heather samachita zambiri, amangogwirana manja kapena kukisana pang’ono. Heather sakufuna kuchita zimene Mike akufunazo koma akuopa kuti akakana chibwenzi chawo chitha. Iye amamukonda kwambiri Mike chifukwa zimene amamuchitira zimamupangitsa kudziona kuti ndi wokongola komanso wofunika. Mumtima mwake amadziuza kuti, ‘Ine ndi Mike timakondana kwambiri ndiye . . .’

 MWINA mwadziwiratu kumene nkhaniyi ikulowera. Koma mwina simungadziwe kuti ngati Mike ndi Heather atagonana chibwenzi chawo komanso moyo wawo zikhoza kusokonekera. Taganizirani izi:

Munthu akapanda kutsatira lamulo linalake amakumana ndi mavuto. N’zimenenso zingachitike ngati mutapanda kutsatira lamulo lakuti: ‘Muzipewa dama.’ (1 Atesalonika 4:3) Koma kodi munthu amene sangatsatire lamulo limeneli angakumane ndi mavuto otani? Baibulo limanena kuti: “Amene amachita dama amachimwira thupi lake.” (1 Akorinto 6:18) Kodi zimenezi ndi zoona? Yesani kulemba mavuto atatu amene wachinyamata angakumane nawo ngati atagonana ndi munthu wina asanalowe m’banja.

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 Mukayang’ana zimene mwalemba pamwambapa, kodi mwatchula zinthu ngati kutenga matenda opatsirana pogonana, kutenga mimba yosakonzekera kapena kukhumudwitsa Mulungu? Zinthu zimenezi ndi zimene zingachitikiredi munthu aliyense amene sanatsatire lamulo la Mulungu loletsa dama.

Komabe mukhoza kupusitsika n’kumaganiza kuti, ‘Palibe chimene chingandichitikire.’ Ndipo m’mesa aliyense akuchita zomwezi? Mwina anzanu akusukulu amakusirizani kuti anagonana ndi winawake ndipo zimaoneka kuti palibe chilichonse chimene chawachitikira. Ndipotu mwina nanunso muli ndi maganizo ofanana ndi a Heather oti kugonana ndi chibwenzi chanu kungachititse kuti muzikondana kwambiri. Ndipo ndani angafune kuti azisekedwa ndi anzake kuti sanagonanepo ndi munthu wina? Mwina mungamaone kuti ndi bwino kungochita zimene aliyense akuchita.

Koma ayi. Choyamba, dziwani kuti si kuti aliyense akuchitadi zimenezo. N’kutheka kuti munawerengapo nkhani zosonyeza kuti achinyamata ambiri amagonana. Mwachitsanzo, kafukufuku wina anasonyeza kuti achinyamata awiri pa atatu alionse a ku United States amayamba zogonana asanamalize sukulu. Koma kafukufuku ameneyu akutsimikiziranso kuti pa achinyamata atatu aliwonse, wachinyamata mmodzi amakhala kuti sanayambe zogonana. Koma kodi amene amachitadi zimenezi zimawathera bwanji? Kafukufuku amasonyeza kuti achinyamata ambiri amene amachita zimenezi amakumana ndi mavuto amene ali m’munsiwa.

VUTO LOYAMBA KUVUTIKA MAGANIZO. Achinyamata ambiri amene anagonanapo asanalowe m’banja amadandaula moti amanena kuti amalakalaka akanapanda kuchita zimenezo.

VUTO LACHIWIRI KUSAKHULUPIRIRANA. Achinyamata amene ali pa chibwenzi akagonana, aliyense amayamba kudzifunsa kuti, ‘Ndiye kuti wachita zimenezi ndi anthu angati?’

VUTO LACHITATU KUKHUMUDWA. Ngakhale atsikana amene amavomera kugonana ndi anyamata, mumtima mwawo  amafuna mwamuna amene angawateteze osati kungowapezerera. Ndipo anyamata ambiri amaonanso kuti mtsikana amene walolera kuti agone nawo sawasangalatsanso ngati poyamba.

Kuwonjezera pa zimenezi, anyamata ambiri amanena kuti sangakwatire mtsikana amene anagonanapo naye. Koma n’chifukwa chiyani amanena zimenezi? Chifukwa chakuti amafuna kukwatira mkazi wakhalidwe labwino.

Ngati ndinu mtsikana, kodi zimenezi zikukudabwitsani kapena kukukhumudwitsani? Ngati ndi choncho, dziwani kuti zimene zimachitika munthu akagonana ndi chibwenzi chake asanalowe m’banja n’zosiyana ndi zimene amasonyeza m’mafilimu kapena pa TV. Anthu opanga mafilimu komanso mapulogalamu a pa TV amafuna kuti achinyamata aziona ngati kugonana asanalowe m’banja kulibe vuto lililonse, ndi kosangalatsa komanso kumasonyeza kuti mumakondana zenizeni. Koma musapusitsike. Anthu amene amakunyengererani kuti muzichita zimenezi amangofuna kupezerapo phindu. (1 Akorinto 13:4, 5) Komanso kodi munthu amene amakukondanidi angachite zinthu zimene zingakuvulazeni? (Miyambo 5:3, 4) Ndipo kodi munthu amene amakukondani angakunyengerereni kuti musokoneze ubwenzi wanu ndi Mulungu?​—Aheberi 13:4.

Ngati ndinu mnyamata ndipo muli ndi chibwenzi, zimene takambirana m’mutuwu zikuthandizeni kuganizira mmene mukuchitira pa chibwenzi chanucho. Dzifunseni  kuti, ‘Kodi mtsikanayu ndimamukondadi?’ Ngati mumamukonda, mungasonyeze zimenezi poyesetsa kutsatira malamulo a Mulungu, kuchita zinthu mwanzeru mwa kupewa kukhala pamalo amene mukhoza kuyesedwa n’kuchita zoipa komanso muyenera kuchita zinthu zosonyeza kuti mumamuganizira. Mukamayesetsa kuchita zimenezi, mtsikanayo azidzakuonani ngati mmene Msulami ankaonera chibwenzi chake. Iye anati: “Wachikondi wanga ndi wanga, ndipo ine ndine wake.” (Nyimbo ya Solomo 2:16) Mwachidule tingati azidzakukondani kwambiri komanso kukudalirani.

Kaya ndinu mnyamata kapena mtsikana, ngati mutalolera kugonana ndi chibwenzi chanu mungadzichotsere ulemu. (Aroma 1:24) N’chifukwa chake anthu ambiri amakhumudwa komanso kudziona ngati achabechabe akachita zimenezi. Iwo amadziimba mlandu  poona kuti alolera kuti munthu wina agwiritse ntchito thupi lawo mwa njira imeneyi ndipo amamva ngati kuti aberedwa chinthu chinachake chamtengo wapatali. Musalole kuti zimenezi zikuchitikireni. Ngati munthu wina atakunyengererani kuti mugone naye pokuuzani kuti, “Ngati umandikondadi, ulola,” muyankheni molimba mtima kuti, “Ukanakhala kuti iweyo umandikondadi sukanandiuza kuti tichite zimenezi.”

Thupi lanu ndi lamtengo wapatali kwambiri ndipo musalitchipitse. Muzisonyeza kuti muli ndi chikhulupiriro cholimba moti mumayesetsa kutsatira lamulo la Mulungu loti tizipewa dama. Ndipo ngati mudzakwatire muzidzasangalala kugonana ndi mkazi kapena mwamuna wanuyo. Ndipo simudzakhumudwa kapena kukhala ndi nkhawa imene anthu ambiri amakhala nayo akagonana ndi munthu asanalowe m’banja.​—Miyambo 7:22, 23; 1 Akorinto 7:3.

KUTI MUMVE ZAMBIRI PA NKHANIYI WERENGANI MUTU 4 NDI 5, M’BUKU LACHIWIRI

M’MUTU WOTSATIRA

Kodi kuseweretsa maliseche n’koopsa bwanji?

LEMBA

“Thawani dama. . . . amene amachita dama amachimwira thupi lake.”​—1 Akorinto 6:18.

MFUNDO YOTHANDIZA

Mukamachita zinthu ndi munthu yemwe si mwamuna kapena mkazi mnzanu, mungachite bwino kumatsatira mfundo iyi: Ngati zimene mukufuna kuchitazo simungazichite pamaso pa makolo anu, ndi bwino osazichita n’komwe.

KODI MUKUDZIWA . . . ?

Nthawi zambiri mnyamata akagonana ndi mtsikana amene ali naye pa chibwenzi amathetsa chibwenzicho n’kuyamba chibwenzi ndi mtsikana wina.

ZOTI NDICHITE

Ndikamacheza ndi munthu yemwe si mwamuna kapena mkazi mnzanga ndiyenera kupewa zinthu izi: ․․․․․

Ngati munthu yemwe si mwamuna kapena mkazi mnzanga atandiuza kuti tikakumane kwa awiri, ndingamuuze kuti: ․․․․․

Zimene ndikufuna kufunsa makolo anga pa nkhaniyi ․․․․․

KODI INUYO MUKUGANIZA BWANJI?

● Ngakhale kuti mwachibadwa timalakalaka kugonana ndi munthu tisanalowe m’banja, n’chifukwa chiyani tiyenera kupewa kuchita zimenezi?

● Kodi inuyo mungatani ngati munthu winawake atakuuzani kuti mukagonane?

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 176]

“Monga Akhristu muli ndi makhalidwe amene angachititse anthu ena kukopeka nanu. Choncho muyenera kukhala osamala ndipo muzipewa anthu amene angakunyengerereni kuti muchite zinthu zolakwika. Muziona kuti makhalidwe amene muli nawowo ndi amtengo wapatali ndipo muziwatetezera.”​—Anatero Joshua

[Chithunzi patsamba 176, 177]

Kugonana ndi munthu musanalowe m’banja kuli ngati kutenga chithunzi chokongola n’kuchiika pakhomo kuti muzipukutira kuphazi polowa m’nyumba