Kodi Pali Chifukwa Chokhalira ndi Chiyembekezo?

“Chothetsa nzeru china m’maukwati amavuto n’kukhulupirira kwambiri kuti zinthu sizingasinthe kukhalako bwino. Kukhulupirira zimenezo kumalepheretsa kusintha chifukwa kumakulandani mtima wofuna kuchita chilichonse chothandiza.”—DR. AARON T. BECK.

TAYEREKEZANI kuti mukumva ululu ndipo mukupita kwa dokotala kuti akuoneni. Muli ndi nkhaŵa—ndipo n’zomveka ndithu kutero. Ndipotu, thanzi lanu—ngakhale moyo wanu weniweniwo—ungakhale pangozi. Koma tinene kuti mutayezedwa, dokotalayo akukuuzani nkhani yabwino kuti ngakhale vuto lanulo silaling’ono, litha kuchizika. Kwenikweni, dokotalayo akukuuzani kuti ngati mutalimbikira bwinobwino kudya zakudya zoyenera komanso kuchita maseŵera olimbitsa thupi, mungathe kuchira bwino ndithu. Mosakayikira mungapezedi mpumulo ndipo mungatsatire malangizo akewo mofunitsitsa kwabasi!

Yerekezani zimenezi ndi nkhani imene tikukambiranayi. Kodi mukumva ululu muukwati wanu? Zoonadi, ukwati uliwonse umakhala ndi mavuto akeake ndi kusagwirizana. Choncho kungokhala ndi mavuto pa zochita zina muukwati wanu sindiye kuti muli ndi banja lopanda chikondi. Koma bwanji ngati vuto lopwetekali likupitiriza kwa milungu, miyezi, ngakhale kwa zaka? Ngati zili choncho, muyeneradi kukhudzidwa, popeza kuti nkhani imeneyi si yaing’ono ayi. Indedi, mkhalidwe wa ukwati wanu ungakhudze pafupifupi china chilichonse pa moyo wanu—komanso ana anu. Mwachitsanzo, anthu amakhulupirira kuti kusokonezeka kwa ukwati kungakhale mbali yaikulu yoyambitsa mavuto onga kupsinjika maganizo, kusagwira ntchito molimbika, ndiponso kulephera kwa ana kusukulu. Koma si zokhazo ayi. Akristu amazindikira kuti ubale umene mwamuna ndi mkazi wake ali nawo ungakhudze ubale wawo ndi Mulungu.—1 Petro 3:7.

Kukhala kwanu pamavuto inu ndi mnzanu sindiye kuti vutolo lakanika kutha. Kudziŵa kuti ukwati ndi mmene umakhalira—kuti umakhala ndi zovuta—kungathandize okwatirana kuona mavuto awowo bwinobwino n’kuyesetsa kupeza njira zowathetsera. Mwamuna wina dzina lake Isaac akuti: “Sindinkadziŵa kuti zimachitika kwa okwatirana kukhala ndi nthaŵi yosangalala ndi kukhumudwa panthaŵi yonse yokhala m’banja. Ndimaganiza kuti panali chinachake cholakwika kwa ife!”

Ngakhale ukwati wanu utafika poti chikondi palibe, mungaupulumutse. Zoonadi, kuganizira zochitika pa ukwati wosokonezeka kungakhale koŵaŵa kwambiri, makamaka ngati mavutowo akhalapo kwa zaka. Ngakhale zili choncho, pali chifukwa chachikulu chokhalira ndi chiyembekezo. Chinthu chofunika kwambiri n’kulimbikira. Ngakhale anthu aŵiri amene ali ndi mavuto aakulu  m’banja angakonze zinthu ngati iwo akuona kufunika kwake. *

Ndiye dzifunseni nokha kuti, ‘Kodi chikhumbo changa chokhala ndi ubale wokhutiritsa n’cholimba?’ Kodi inu ndi mnzanuyo ndinu wokonzeka kulimbikira kuwongolera banja lanu? Dr. Beck, wogwidwa mawu poyamba paja, akuti: “Nthaŵi zambiri ndakhala ndikudabwa mmene ubale umene amati ndi woipa umawongokera pamene aŵiriwo athandizana kukonza mbali zolakwikazo ndi kulimbitsa mbali zabwino za ukwati wawo.” Koma bwanji ngati mnzanu akukanika? Kapena bwanji ngati mukuganiza kuti iye sakuliona vutolo? Kodi n’zosathandiza kuti inu muyese kuwongolera nokha zinthu m’banja? Ayi ndithu! “Ngati inuyo mutasintha,” akutero Dr. Beck, “kuteroko pakokha kungasonkhezere mnzanuyo kusintha—kaŵirikaŵiri zimaterodi.”

Musafulumire kunena kuti zimenezi sizingakuchitikireni. Kudzikayikira koteroko n’kumene kungawononge kwambiri ukwati wanu! Mmodzi ndiye ayenera kuyamba kuwongolera zinthu. Kodi mungakhale inuyo? Mutangoyamba, mnzanu angaone phindu lake logwirira ntchito pamodzi nanu pomanga ukwati wachimwemwe.

Nangano mungatani—kaya panokha kapena monga banja—kuti mupulumutse ukwati wanu? Baibulo n’lothandiza kwambiri poyankha funso limeneli. Tiyeni tione kuti n’lothandiza bwanji.

[Mawu a M’munsi]