Zikuvuta Kuchoka mu Ukwati Wopanda Chikondi

“M’dziko limene ambiri amasudzulana, sikuti ndi maukwati ambiri opanda chimwemwe amene angathe komanso maukwati ena ambiri akuyembekezeka kukhala opanda chimwemwe.”—Bungwe loona za mabanja la COUNCIL ON FAMILIES IN AMERICA.

PAJA amati chimwemwe chachikulu m’moyo komanso zovuta zake zambiri zimachokera kumodzi—ukwati wa munthu. Zoonadi, ndi zinthu zochepa m’moyo zimene zingatisangalatse choncho—kapena kutimvetsa chisoni choncho. Monga mmene bokosi lotsatiralo likusonyezera, mabanja ambiri ali achisoni kwambiri.

Koma ziŵerengero za zisudzulo zimavumbula chabe mbali imodzi ya vutolo. Pa banja lililonse limene limalephera, ena osaŵerengeka amapitiriza, koma amakhalabe m’mavuto. “Banja lathu linali losangalala, koma zaka 12 zapitazo zakhala zoipa kwabasi,” anaulula choncho mkazi wokwatiwa kwa zaka zoposa 30. “Mwamuna wanga safuna kumva malingaliro anga. Mtima wanga umamuda koopsa.” Mofananamo, mwamuna wokwatira kwa zaka pafupifupi 25 anadandaula kuti: “Mkazi wanga wandiuza kuti sakundikondanso. Akuti zingakhale bwino titamangoonana ngati anthu ongokhala m’chipinda chimodzi basi koma aliyense azipita kwakekwake ikafika nthaŵi yachisangalalo, iye atha kupirira.”

Inde, ena pokhala ndi vuto lalikulu ngati limenelo amathetsa ukwati wawo. Komabe, ambiri safuna kusudzulana. Chifukwa? Malinga n’kunena kwa Dr. Karen Kayser, nkhani ngati ana, manyazi ndi anthu ozungulira, vuto la zachuma, mabwenzi, achibale, ndi zikhulupiriro zachipembedzo zingachititse banja kukhalirabe pamodzi, ngakhale asakukondana. “Pokhala sasudzulana mwalamulo,” iye akutero, “mwamuna ndi mkazi wakeyo amasankha kukhalirabe limodzi ndi mnzawo amene anasudzulana naye mumtima.”

Kodi banja limene ubale wawo wazirala liyenera kungokhala basi ndi moyo wosasangalatsa? Kodi kukhala mu ukwati wopanda chikondi ndiko njira yabwinopo poyerekeza ndi kusudzulana? Zochitika zikusonyeza kuti maukwati ambiri amavuto amatheka kuwapulumutsa—osati chabe ku zoŵaŵa za kusweka kwake komanso ku mavuto a kupanda chikondi.

[Bokosi patsamba 3]

KUSUDZULANA PADZIKO LONSE

• Ku Australia: Chiŵerengero cha kusudzulana chakwera kanayi kuyambira kuchiyambi kwa ma 1960.

• Ku Britain: Akuti m’tsogolomu maukwati anayi mwa khumi alionse adzatha posudzulana.

• Ku Canada ndi ku Japan: Kusudzulana kumakhudza pafupifupi ukwati umodzi mwa maukwati atatu alionse.

• Ku United States: Kuyambira 1970, amene akukwatirana ali ndi mpata wochepa kwambiri wokhalira limodzi.

• Ku Zimbabwe: Kusudzulana kumathetsa pafupifupi maukwati aŵiri mwa asanu alionse.