Mmene Mungathandizire

“Ana ovutika maganizo amafuna kuthandizidwa. Koma anawo sangathe kupeza chithandizochi paokha. Choyamba kholo liyenera kuzindikira vutolo kenaka n’kuliganizira mozama. Kuchita zimenezo n’kovuta,” anatero Dr. Mark S. Gold.

KODI mungatani ngati mukuganiza kuti mwina mwana wanu akuvutika maganizo? Choyamba, musapupulume kuganiza kuti basi zili chonchodi. N’kutheka kuti akhoza kukhala matenda ena ake. * Chinanso n’chakuti achinyamata onse nthaŵi zina amakhala osasangalala. Koma ngati vutolo silikusintha ndipo likuoneka kuti si laling’ono, kungakhale bwino kwambiri kukaonana ndi dokotala. Zikakhala choncho, ndi bwino kukumbukira mawu a Yesu akuti: “Olimba safuna sing’anga ayi, koma odwala.”—Mateyu 9:12.

Muuzeni dokotalayo moona mtima zilizonse zothandiza, osabisa ngakhale zinthu zina zimene wachinyamata wanu wasintha zimene zingathenso kum’chititsa kuti azingokhala ndwii. Muonetsetse kuti dokotalayo akukhala ndi nthaŵi yokwanira yomvetsera mwachidwi pamene mukufotokoza zizindikirozo asanatchule kuti n’chiyani. Dr. David G. Fassler anachenjeza kuti, “Si zotheka kumva zovuta zonse zofunika kuti dokotala adziŵe bwinobwino vuto la mwana kwa mphindi 20 zokha.”

Khalani womasuka kufunsa dokotalayo mafunso alionse amene mungakhale nawo. Mwachitsanzo, ngati dokotalayo akuona kuti wachinyamata wanu akuvutika kwambiri maganizo, mungakonde kufunsa chifukwa chake iye sakuganiza kuti ndi matenda ena. Ngati simunakhutitsidwe ndi zimene dokotalayo wanena,  muuzeni kuti mukayezetsanso kaye kwa dokotala wina. Ndithudi, palibe dokotala wabwinobwino ndiponso woona mtima amene angakuletseni kutero.

Kulimbana Nazo Zikakugwerani

Ngati wachinyamata wanu wavutika maganizo kwambiri, musachite nazo manyazi. Dziŵani kuti vuto la maganizo lingagwire ngakhale achinyamata abwino kwambiri. Inde, Baibulo limasonyeza kuti anthu ena amene ankayesetsa ndi mtima wawo wonse kutumikira Mulungu, kaya anali ndi zaka zingati, anavutikako maganizo. Taganizirani za Yobu munthu wokhulupirika amene anaona ngati Mulungu wam’siya mwakuti mpaka sanaufunenso moyo. (Yobu 10:1; 29:2, 4, 5) Hana anali mtumiki wa Mulungu amene anakhala ndi “mtima woŵaŵa” moti anali kulephera kudya. (1 Samueli 1:4-10) Ndiye panalinso Yakobo, munthu wodzipereka kwa Mulungu yemwe analira masiku ambiri mwana wake atamwalira ndipo “anakana kutonthozedwa.” Ndipotu Yakobo anafika mpaka polakalaka kutsatira mwana wakeyo kumanda! (Genesis 37:33-35) Choncho si kuti nthaŵi zonse ukasokonezeka maganizo ndiye kuti wayamba kufooka mwauzimu.

Komabe wachinyamata akavutika maganizo, makolo amavutika mtima kwambiri. Mayi wina amene ali ndi mtsikana wovutika maganizo ananena kuti: “Ndiyenera kusamala kwambiri ndikafuna kulankhula ndiponso kuchita kanthu. Ndimakhala ndi nkhaŵa, mantha, waukali, wokwiya ndiponso wofookeratu.” Mayi winanso anavomereza kuti: “Ndikapita kokayenda n’kuona mayi wina akugula zinthu ndi mwana wake wamkazi, mtima wanga umandipweteka chifukwa chakuti ndimangomva ngati ndilibe mwayi wochita zinthu zoterozo ndi [mwana wanga wamkazi] ndipo ndimangoona ngati sindidzakhalanso nawo mwayi umenewo.”

N’kwachibadwa kumva choncho. Komabe nthaŵi zina kunganyanyire. Ngati zitatero, bwanji osauzako mnzanu wapamtima? Miyambo 17:17 imati: “Bwenzi limakonda nthaŵi zonse; ndipo mbale anabadwira kuti akuthandize pooneka tsoka.” Ndiponso musanyalanyaze kupemphera. Baibulo limatitsimikizira kuti ngati tim’senza Yehova nkhaŵa zathu, iye adzatilimbitsa.—Salmo 55:22.

Chizoloŵezi Chodziimba Mlandu

Makolo ambiri amene ali ndi ana achinyamata ovutika maganizo amatayiratu mtima ndipo amangoona ngati penapake iwowo ndiwo anachititsa vutolo. Kholo lina linavomereza kuti, “Mwana wako akamavutika maganizo, umadziimbadi mlandu ndipo palibe yemwe angakukhazike mtima pansi. Umangodzifunsabe kuti, ‘Tinalakwanji? Kodi mpati pamene panasinthira zinthu? Kodi ineyo ndinachitanji kuti zinthu zitere?’” Kodi makolo angakhalebe ndi maganizo abwino motani pankhani imeneyi?

 N’zosakayikitsa kuti kumangokhala waukali panyumba kungam’pweteke mtima mwana. Ndiye n’chifukwa chake Baibulo limalangiza atate kuti: “Musaputa ana anu, kuti angataye mtima.” (Akolose 3:21) Motero, makolo ayenera kuona bwino mmene amakhalira ndi ana awo ndipo ngati pakufunika kusintha penapake ayenera kutero. Komatu munthu savutika maganizo chifukwa cha kusaleredwa bwino kokha ayi. Ndithudi, vutoli likhoza kupezekanso m’mabanja okondana kwambiri. Choncho, makolo amene akuyesetsa mwanjira ina iliyonse kuthandiza ana awo asadzione ngati olakwa ayi.

Si bwinonso kumuimba mlandu mwana wovutika maganizoyo. Ndiponsotu, iye sakanatha n’komwe kuletsa vutolo. Mayi wina anati, “Sindikanamuimba mlandu akanadwala matenda akatsabola kapena chibayo.” Komabe mayiyu anavomereza kuti, “Koma iye atayamba kuvutika maganizo ndinamuimba mlandu. Ndikamaganiza kuti ndinamuimba mlandu mwana wanga chifukwa cha kudwala, mtima umandiwawa kwambiri.” Kuona vuto la maganizo mongadi kudwala osati kuvuta, kungathandize makolo pamodzinso ndi anthu ena kuona mmene angam’thandizire wodwalayo.

Kulera wachinyamata wovutika maganizo kungayambanitse kwambiri makolo. Mkazi wina wokwatiwa anati, “Tinkaimbana mlandu, makamaka tikaganizira za moyo umene tinkafuna komano n’kumaona moyo umene tinkakhala chifukwa cha kudwala kwa mwana wathu wamwamuna.” Tim, yemwe mwana wake wamkazi amavutika maganizo akuvomereza kuti: “N’kosavuta kumuimba mlandu mkazi kapena mwamuna wako.” Ngati makolo anali kuvutana m’banja mwana wawo asanayambe kuvutika maganizo,  khalidwe lovutitsa la mwanayo litha kungoipitsiratu zinthu. Musalole kuti kuvutika maganizo kwa mwana wanu kukuyambanitseni m’banja mwanu! Kunena zoona, si bwino n’komwe kumuimba winawake mlandu, kaya kudziimba nokha, mwana wanu, kapena mnzanu. Chinthu chofunika n’kuthandiza wovutikayo.

Kuthandiza

Baibulo limalimbikitsa Akristu kuti: “Limbikitsani amantha mtima.” (1 Atesalonika 5:14) Ngati wachinyamata yemwe ali ndi vutoli akuvutika ndi maganizo odziona ngati munthu wosafunika kwenikweni, mutha kumuthandiza. Mungamuthandize bwanji? Kukuuzani zoona, si bwino kunena moweruza monga kuti, “Suyenera kuganiza choncho” kapena kuti, “Amenewo ndi maganizo oipa.” Mmalo mwake, yesetsani kukhala wokhudzidwa mtima ndipo “ochitirana chifundo.” (1 Petro 3:8) Paulo analimbikitsa Akristu kuti “lirani nawo akulira.” (Aroma 12:15) Musaiwale kuti munthu amene akuvutikadi maganizo amavutikadi zenizeni. Sikuti amangoyerekeza, kapena kungonamizira chabe pofuna kuti anthu ena avutike naye. Mutamvetsera, yesani kumunyengerera wovutikayo kuti anene zakukhosi. Mufunseni kuti n’chifukwa chiyani akumva choncho. Kenaka, thandizani wachinyamatayo mosamala kwambiri ndiponso mwaulemu kuona kuti palibe chifukwa choti azingodzimvera chisoni choncho. Kum’tsimikizira wovutikayo kuti Mulungu amam’konda ndiponso kum’chitira chifundo kungam’thandize kuchepetsa nkhaŵa zake.—1 Petro 5:6, 7.

Mwina pangakhale njira zinanso zimene mungam’thandizire. Mwachitsanzo, mungafune kutsimikizira kuti wachinyamata wanu wovutika maganizo akupeza nthaŵi yokwanira yopumula, akudya bwino ndiponso akuchitako maseŵera olimbitsa thupi. (Mlaliki 4:6) Ngati wovutikayo am’lembera mankhwala ena ake akuchipatala, ndi bwino kum’thandiza kuona kuti n’kofunika kumwa mankhwalawo. Musagwe mphwayi pom’thandiza, ndipo musasiye kum’konda.

Inde, n’zoona kuti wachinyamata akavutika maganizo, zimakhala zopweteka kwambiri kwa iyeyo pamodzi ndi ena onse m’banjamo. Pomaliza penipeni, kuleza mtima, kulimbikira ndiponso chikondi, zingathandize achinyamata ovutika maganizo kuti alandire bwino chithandizo.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 11]

Munthu amene akuvutikadi maganizo amavutikadi zenizeni. Sikuti amangoyerekeza

[Bokosi patsamba 13]

NGATI NDINU WACHINYAMATA AMENE MUKUVUTIKA MAGANIZO

Anthu sangakulekerereni nokha, ndipo si kuti vuto lanulo silitha. Vuto lanulo lingakhale litayamba ndi (1) kupereŵera kapena kuchuluka kwa chinachake m’thupi mwanu kapena (2) zochitika zina m’moyo zimene simungathe kuzithetsa kapena kuzipeŵa. Mulimonse mmene zingakhalire, vutoli sikuti labwera chifukwa cha zochita zanu ayi. Komabe, kodi mungachitepo chiyani pa vutoli?

Baibulo limanena kuti “lilipo bwenzi lipambana ndi mbale kuumirira.” (Miyambo 18:24) Bwanji osafufuza bwenzi loterolo n’kuliuza maganizo anu? Abambo kapena amayi anu kapenanso munthu wina wamkulu akhoza kukhala munthu woyenera kugwirizana naye polimbana ndi vuto la maganizo.

Ngati makolo anu akuganizira kuti muli ndi vuto la maganizo lofunika kuchipatala, iwo angapite nanu kwa dokotala wina amene amadziŵa kusamalira vutolo. N’kwanzeru kuchita zimenezi, chifukwatu nthaŵi zambiri vuto la maganizo limatha ndi mankhwala, ngati mankhwalawo alipo. Mwachitsanzo, madzi ena ake m’thupi akachuluka kapena kuchepa, wovutikayo angam’lembere mankhwala oziziritsa maganizo. Ngati zimenezi zimakuchitikirani, musachite manyazi n’kulandira mankhwala. Mankhwalawo amangothandiza kuti madzi a m’thupi mwanu abwerere mwakale, ndipo potero angakuthandizeni kuti mukhalenso wokondwa monga kale.

Anthu ambiri amene amavutika maganizo alimbikitsidwa poŵerenga Baibulo ndiponso posatalikirana ndi Mulungu mwa kupemphera. Baibulo limatitsimikizira kuti: “Yehova ali pafupi ndi iwo a mtima wosweka, apulumutsa iwo a mzimu wolapadi.” *—Salmo 34:18.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

 [Bokosi/Chithunzi patsamba 14]

KUTHANDIZA NDIPONSO KUPEREKA CHIYEMBEKEZO KWA OVUTIKAWO

Chifukwa chakuti vuto la maganizo ndi lovuta kulifotokoza, sitinafotokoze zonse zokhudza vutoli m’nkhanizi. Komabe, ofalitsa Galamukani! akukhulupirira kuti mfundo zimene azilemba zithandiza achinyamata ndi makolo awo kupirira vuto lofoolali.

Mwina mwaona kuti mfundo zambiri zolimbikitsa zimene zili m’nkhani yomwe yangothayi zachokera m’Baibulo. N’zoona kuti Baibulo ndi buku lakalekale. Koma malangizo ake n’ngothandiza masiku ano monga mmene analili panthaŵi imene ankalilemba. N’chifukwa chiyani zili choncho? N’chifukwa chakuti anthu sanasinthe ngakhale kuti nthaŵi zasintha. Timakumana ndi zinthu zofanana n’zimene anthu a mibadwo yapitayo ankakumana nazo. Kusiyana kwake n’kwakuti masiku ano mavuto ameneŵa akula kwambiri ndiponso akukhudza anthu ambiri.

Komabe Baibulo n’lothandiza kwambiri pachifukwa chinanso: Ilo linauziridwa ndi Mulungu. (2 Timoteo 3:16) Iye amadziŵa zimene timafuna kuti tisangalale ndi kukhutira ndi moyo chifukwa chakuti ndi Mlengi wathu.

Inde, Baibulo si buku la zachipatala. Motero si kuti lingapangitse kuti tisafune mankhwala oyenera amatenda, monga vuto la maganizo. Ngakhale zili choncho, Baibulo lili ndi mfundo zimene zingatithandize kulimbikitsa amene ali ndi vutoli. Kuwonjezeranso apo, lili ndi lonjezo la Mulungu lakuti posachedwapa adzachiritsa matenda athu onse. (Salmo 103:3) Inde, Yehova ali ndi cholinga cha ‘kudzatsitsimutsa mtima wa osweka.’—Yesaya 57:15.

Kodi mukufuna kuphunzira zambiri zokhudza chiyembekezo chosangalatsa chimenechi? Chonde uzani Mboni za Yehova za kwanuko kapena lemberani ku adiresi yoyenera patsamba 5 la magazini ano.

[Chithunzi patsamba 10]

Yesetsani kuwasonyeza chifundo

[Chithunzi patsamba 11]

Ngati vuto la maganizo la wachinyamatayo silikusintha, ndi bwino kukaonana ndi dokotala

[Zithunzi patsamba 12]

Monga kholo, musafulumire kwambiri kudziimba mlandu, kuimba mlandu mkazi kapena mwamuna wanu, kapena wachinyamata wanu